By H. Lewis Smith
When Samuel L. Jackson sat down with film
critic Jake Hamilton to discuss Quentin
Tarantino’s Django Unchained, Hamilton
had a question that he wanted to ask Jackson
relative to the n-word. But Jackson, who plays a
Sambo, Uncle Tom prototype in the film, refused
to answer the question unless Hamilton actually
said the word “n**ger” in its full
enunciation—and not a censored, more
politically-correct, less offensive metaphor of
the term. After Hamilton refused to say n**ger
several times, Jackson retorted: “We’re not
going to have this conversation unless you say
it.” The nervous Jake Hamilton still refused to
be coerced into saying the vile and sinister
term. Jackson finally relented and asked: “You
want to move on to another question?” A
deeply-relieved Hamilton responded
affirmatively.
Any self-respecting Black/African American
who is proud of him/herself and their ancestry
is incapable of seeing him or herself as a n**ga/n**ger,
and would become appalled almost (if not
certainly) to the point of physical contest if
anyone referred to them as such. It is because
this type of enlightened, self-dignified
individual has transcended such an inferior
state of mind, and now, instead, owns the
rightful higher perception of self and toys with
no one who approaches them at any other affirmed
level of understanding. On the other hand, only
an Uncle Tom sellout and/or ignorant
inferior-minded individual lies fully relaxed
and engulfed in the idea of being a n**ger/n**ga,
and finds it humorous and acceptable to
encourage others to the same.
Lisa Lampanelli, a white
stand-up comedian and insult comic known for her
racy and controversial style of comedy—same as
Chris Rock and Katt Williams, recently tweeted
on Twitter: “Me with my n**ga @Lenaham of @HBOGirls
– I love this beyotch!!” (sic)
The Black community understandably so was
outraged and all up in arms about Lisa’s blatant
and contemptible act. But, in retrospect, Black
America’s response is also hypocritical,
profoundly irrational and infantile. Black
America’s actions, which shall be referred to as
the Jackson Syndrome, on one hand unsoundly
gives everyone in the universe a pass to use the
n-word, but then when someone outside the Black
community uses the word, African Americans have
the audacity to become indignant. Truly,
something unnatural and abnormal exists when it
comes to this scenario; this line of thinking is
tantamount to an individual throwing a rock
through someone’s window, and then when someone
throws a rock back into that individual’s
window, they cannot understand how something of
that sort could have come about.
The stage has been set for some time. Just
dating back to as recently as Michael “Kramer”
Richards and Don Imus, to currently, nothing has
changed. The alarm was sounded back then, but
evidently Black America was not listening,
failed to pay attention to the significance of
these acts, or was simply indifferent to the
matters. Black America must wake up and realize
that even small pebbles—if thrown often enough,
long enough, and with enough force—can have
significant, irreversible effects. Situations
that seem to be one-off’s and carry no impact at
all will eventually be the exposed Achilles
tendon that brings down the black community once
and for all.
Black/African Americans continually refuse to
hold one another accountable for their own
actions—thinking nothing of always pulling a
Jackson Syndrome, and continually come up with
something asinine to support use of the n-word.
They go so far as to say that it’s okay or
acceptable for blacks to use the n-word,
unacceptable for non-blacks to use it, but then
all at the same time encourage others to use it
ANYWAY through their own use of the term in
daily interactions, music lyrics and other forms
of entertainment. If someone was to create a
situation comedy based on the actions of Black
America and its use of the n-word, it would make
the all-time ding-a-ling list.
This is the 21st century but yet
racism still exists, and it seems as though
Black/African American proponents of the n-word
insist on feeding the flames of racism by
promoting, marketing and commercializing the
term. Truth be told, their use of the n-word
keeps the hate, inferior-superior mindset
distinction, and inequality and racial
disrespect at the forefront of everyone’s minds
that the term long ago was created to represent.
Recently, a white passenger on board a Delta
Airline flight was annoyed by a crying black
child sitting next to him on his mother’s lap.
The irate passenger had the unmitigated gaul to
reach over and slap the child in the face,
calling the child a n**ger in the process.
Everything about the passenger’s actions was
unacceptable, but he did it because he felt he
had the right to do so. This proves the point
that so long as the Black community continually
disrespects itself, others will continue to view
the collective black community as inferior and
will handle the group of people as
insignificant, non-humans they can treat any way
they see fit at will…that idea of careless
treatment sounds a lot like the real definition
of a “n**ga”. The word n**ger/n**ga is linked to
a racist past and that is NEVER going to change.
To entertain the ridiculous idea that the
context of this word can be changed—let alone
the desire to want to even try—is ludicrous and
asinine at its best. The context of its history
is going to forever remain intact.
Many twisted and irrational arguments have
been advanced in a feeble attempt to justify use
of the n-word. One of which is that those who
fight against its use live in the past and are
unable to let go of it, while proponents of the
term say they have freed themselves from the
past and given the n-word a new meaning. The
truth of the matter is those proponents of the
term will go to any length to cover up their act
of ignorance for their use of the vile word.
Their justifications for use of the term shows
that they are in DENIAL about all that took
place relative to the sinister baggage that
comes along with this word. If any argument can
be made, it should be that proponents of the
term are mentally incapacitated and too inertia
to overcome their use of it.
Black America’s present day use of the n-word
is symbolic of an 18th century slave
mentality and has no place in this 21st
century for liberated-minded people. Descendants
of those victimized and dehumanized by this
pejorative term who want to keep this word alive
in this 21st century by embracing it
are committing blasphemy to the sacred memories,
struggles and sacrifices of their forefathers.
As a GROUP, the non-use of the n-word should
be a no-brainer. Black/African Americans should
ALL be on the same page about this because,
collectively, whenever that word is openly used
by any person of color, it serves as a
reflection on the entire race of people. No
matter whose mouth—black or non-black—the n-word
idiom flows from, nothing cerebral, honorable,
dignified, prideful or self-respectful exists
from being submissive to and tolerant of its
use.
While many in the Black community work to try
to become a once-again united, self-respecting
race of people with a positive perception and
conviction of self within and without the
community, others have sold out at the expense
of the collective group. As this internal
conflict wages within Black America,
slick-teethed businessmen like Quentin Tarantino
are laughing all the way to the bank with his
highest grossed money-making movie ever.
Offering a very veiled perception of slave life
and a million and one more ways to allow the
n-word term to roll off one’s lips, Black
America was left with a feel good moment about a
make believe Django’s prowess who rides off in
the sunset with his woman after ethereally
shooting up a bunch of white folks. Where was
the real homage paid to the Black/African
American and his survival of a gargantuan
struggle?
Taking its cue from the music industry’s
global promotion, marketing and commercializing
of the n-word, the door is now open for more
such films to be made once again using Black
America as sacrificial pawns and all with Black
America’s approval. Black/African American
forefathers have to be rolling over in their
graves with utter disgust at the behavior of
their descendants.
H. Lewis Smith is the founder and
president of UVCC, the United Voices for a
Common Cause, Inc. (www.theunitedvoices.com),
and author of "Bury that Sucka: A Scandalous
Love Affair with the N-Word". Follow him on
Twitter:
www.twitter.com/thescoop1
AN
OPEN LETTER AND PLEA TO PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
Who
Should Have A Vote?
By Harold Bell
During your State of the Union Address you made
a plea to Congress that Gabby Gifford, and
Newtown should have a vote as it relates to gun
control in America.
Mr. President, I totally agree the time has come
to reduce gun violence in America-- it is long
overdue.
The vote that you proposed should not stop
there, senior citizens living in nursing homes
in America should also have a vote. The abuse
taking place in nursing homes across this nation
is appalling. This is a National Crisis. The
Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Fox News, and
ABC News have all echoed the same reports.
During your State of the Union Address I did not
hear you cry out to give senior citizens a
vote!
My
question to you and the Congress of the United
States is: “What is the difference in the gun
violence and the nursing home violence taking
place in this country?
Evidently, nursing homes have a license to
kill! There is a nursing home, Patuxent River
Rehab in Laurel, Maryland that should be shut
down immediately and the whole system
overhauled. Among the abuse there is fraud and
criminal negligence. They have left a paper
trail that Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder could
follow.
Patuxent River staff tried in vain to have my
niece to give them permission to administer a
drug that would make him sleep much of the
time—she said, “No.” I have been trying for
two-years for them to get him a new wheel
chair. They claimed his insurance does not
cover a new wheelchair.
In
the meantime, they are taking his checks from
his Army pension, checks from the DC Police
Department, Social Security and Medicare
benefits and claiming they cannot afford to buy
him a wheelchair? Something is wrong with this
picture.
When I was first introduced to “The Wound
Doctor” Dr. Ernest Scroggins he was seeing my
brother weekly and it has since changed to
bi-weekly. My brother’s bed sores have taken a
turn for the worst. It looks like they are
rarely clean. Dr. Scroggins had to remind the
Unit Manager Oloue and his assistant Mariann in
my presence that the patient’s wounds needed to
be clean regularly.
After his children had abandoned him in
September 2012 I applied for Power of Attorney
for his Health. This meant that with his
permission I was to be notified on all health
issues pertaining to him. The facility has not
had a “Family Meeting” since October 2012 to
update me on my brother’s progress or lack of
progress on any of his health issues.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I
attended “The First Family Meeting” since
October 2012 with 3 witnesses. The meeting was
held Wed February 6, 2013. For some reason his
son Kenny was in the meeting (remember this
date). I suspect they called him even though he
gave them notice to never call him again. Their
main objective was for him to counter-act any
position or complain I made (divide and
conquer).
It
was in the meeting on February 6, 2013 we found
out that they my brother had been “Declared
Incompetent” in October 2012?
The last ‘Family Meeting’ was in October 2012.
This meant that no one from the Administration
or staff had made me or his son and daughter
aware that my brother and their father had been
declared Incompetent. This leads me to believe
that they had the paper work forged and
backtracked to the October date to make my Power
of Attorney void! This is criminal negligence.
The following Wednesday February 13, 2013 I
returned to the hospital to see if the “Wound
Doctor” Dr. Ernest Scroggins would be making his
rounds (his visits have become like Russian
roulette). The doctor made his way to my
brother’s room at exactly 2:30 pm but could not
examine him right away because his wounds had
not been cleaned. The unit nurse Marriann
followed the doctor into the room to clean his
wounds. This was supposed to be done before the
arrival of Dr. Scroggins.
What I witness next made me sick to my stomach.
The bandages removed by the nurse were filthy.
The 2 open wounds on his buttocks were the size
of quarters (I remember when they could hardly
be seen). I watched as the nurse put her finger
into one of his wounds and pulled out a piece of
gauze. Dr. Scroggins asked “What was that” and
response was ‘nothing!”
The open wounds if left open will surely become
infected because his urine and feces will
eventually find their way into the open spaces.
Patuxent River is a dangerous place to
live!
I
knew this was a dangerous place for my brother
but when they recently declared him incompetent
made me realized how corrupt and dangerous they
really are. It reminds me of the NRA and how
they have the politicians in their pockets it
looks like the nursing home industry may also
maybe in the same politicians pockets. Mr.
President I have heard you and others say, “I am
the President of all the people!” What about
senior citizens?
I
have contacted your Vice-President, Joe Biden,
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and their only
response has been e-mails asking for a monetary
donation or soliciting some type of support
against the Republican Party! I have written
Rep. Steny Hoyer, Congressman Ben Cardin and
Congresswoman Donna Edwards and there has been
no response from neither? Do you only care when
we go to the polls to vote?
L to R: Rep. Donna Edwards,
Rep. Steny Hoyer, U. S. Senator Ben Cardin
Anytime, the Nursing Home industry as reported
in USA Today Newspaper offers cash incentives on
top of the salaries already paid to nursing home
staffs to treat the residents fairly---you know
you really have a problem!
Mr.
President, I never dreamed in 2010 I would go
from working with at-risk youth to fighting for
at-risk seniors like my brother. We fought our
way out of a single parent household in a NE
housing project and pulled ourselves up by our
boots with no straps. We did this without the
baggage of drug addiction, police records and
academic inferiority to be all that we could
be! We didn’t earn our way through this Game
Called Life for him or me to be mistreated and
disrespected in the twilight of our lives. The
Patuxent River Nursing Home mentality reminds me
of what the Plantation Mentality must have been
like in the 1800s. This nursing home experience
reminds me of something right out of the
Twilight Zone.
Mr. President, has integrity, honesty and fair
play become a lost art in America?
I
now think back to 1978 when I received an early
morning phone call from my brother’s son saying
that I needed to go to the SE Community Hospital
right away. My nephew was calling to tell me
that his father had been in a bad automobile
accident. My brother, a DC cop was on his way
to work and hit some “Black ice” and skidded
into a 16 wheeler truck. The accident ended his
13 year police career.
Sgt. Earl K. Bell had been re-assigned and was
headed to his new assignment when the accident
occurred. His re-assignment was the result of
him reporting two rogue DC Cops who were
physically abusing prisoners in their jail cells
on his watch. He first warned them to back off
from the abuse. Despite his warnings they
continued to abuse black prisoners only. When
he turned to me for advice I told him to write
them up and turn them into their superiors. His
superiors tried to sweep the incident under the
rug. He then turned the abusive cops into the
U. S. Attorney’s Office.
The 2 officers one black and one white, Tommy
Musgrove the black officer was convicted and the
white officer (name unknown) walked away free
and clear. Musgrove with his conviction under
appear won his appear and his conviction was
overturned 5 years later. He was given 5 years
back pay and obtained the rank of Inspector
before he retired, proving that crime does pay
at least in the DC police department.
When I arrived at the hospital the doctors told
me they were not expecting him to live but they
didn’t know “Bull Bell!” He was a former
heavyweight boxing champion during his military
stint in the U. S. Army were he also fought
racism head on.
He returned home to discover racism didn’t end
when left Germany.
Sgt. Bell (MP U. S. Army)
Heavyweight boxing champion U. S. Army
In the meantime, my brother faced “The Code Blue
and silent treatment” for turning in 2 ‘Rogue
Cops.’ I met with two guys that I knew from the
neighborhood to get an update on my brother’s
status; Assistant Chiefs, Marty Tapscott and Ike
Fullwood (soon to be named Chief). Marty ran
for cover and Ike told me, “Harold, Bull is okay
I got his back,” famous last words. Two months
later Fullwood took my brother off the beat and
assigned him to the Police & Fire Clinic it was
payback time for Musgrove and the department.
It was his first day on his new assignment when
the accident occurred.
DC Police Chief Burtell Jefferson (Good Cop) /
DC Police Chief Isaac Fullwood (Bad Cop)
During my work in the streets and courthouses I
encountered some good cops and some bad cops.
One of the Good Cops was an FBI agent by the
name of Wayne Davis. We had a common thread.
We both were trying to save young black men.
Wayne would later become the first black to head
the Detroit Office of the FBI. He never forgot
who he was and where he came from!
FBI Agent Wayne Davis
In
the 70s my brother teamed up with me, DC
Superior Court Judges, and pro athletes to help
save at-risk youth from the mean streets of the
Nation’s Capitol. My work as a Roving Leader
(Youth Gang Unit) for the DC Recreation
Department combined with my work with the
Department of Defense and my non-profit
organization Kids In Trouble means I have spend
the last four decades working in the war zones
of the inner-city which included the streets,
alleys, playgrounds, schools, courtrooms and
jail facilities in the Nation’s Capitol.
Judges Luke Moore & Gene Hamilton/(Redskins)
Dave Robinson, Roy Jefferson, Harold McLinton,
Dave Bing (NBA)
We
tried to save at-risk children from gun
violence. It was a hit and miss proposition
much like you we could not be everywhere. In
the 70s while working for the Department of
defense (Domestic Actions) I found Bolling Youth
Base. The program was located on the Air Force
Base at Bolling Field in the Nation’s Capitol.
The facility housed juvenile delinquents from
overcrowded DC facilities. The Youth Base was
the first of its kind on a military installation
in America.
Bolling
Girl’s Base???
Yes I agree, Gabby Gifford, Newtown, Denver and
Chicago school children should all have a vote,
but so should the thousands of victims like my
brother in nursing homes across America. They
should also have a vote asking to abolish
nursing home abuse. It will be easier to clean
up these corrupt nursing homes then to wipe out
gun violence in America, but both deserve your
undivided attention.
Mr. President this is one of those times when
silence is not “Golden.” This is definitely not
the America we grew up in and definitely not the
America we have known and loved. I was reminded
of that fact this morning when I woke up to
discover that a 15 year old child was found
murdered on the streets in my community. He
attended high school in walking distance of my
residence. It gets worst he is the 5th
child to be murdered in his high school this
school year. There is a rumor that he was
murdered over a pair of tennis shoes.
Mr. President as my day moved forwarded it took
another turn for the worst. Kids In Trouble,
Inc uses Black History Month to enlighten as
many students as possible.
We
have coordinated a field trip to the Verizon
Center next week and XM Sirius Satellite Radio
for honor students. In a visit to one of our
Middle Schools to make confirmation I walked in
on a counselor who had a student in distress.
The 12 year old child was threatening to commit
suicide. I was blown away by this revelation.
I have been a youth advocate for a long time and
I don’t ever remember a child I have worked with
threaten to commit suicide. I have had several
threaten to kill me but that was all part of the
territory. The counselor got the child’s
mother on the telephone to talk to him but once
the child heard his mother’s voice he began
crying hysterically. I quietly excused myself
from the room because I knew I was in over my
head. The counselor followed me out of the room
while the child talked with his mother.
I
looked at the counselor bewildered and I said “I
have never had that kind of experience.” He
looked at me and his departing words were ‘Mr.
Bell, welcome to my world’ and disappeared
behind his office door.
Mr. President, with all due respect someone has
completely dropped the ball. You can start with
our politicians (Donna Edwards, Steny Hoyer and
Ben Cardin) in my Maryland District. They have
dropped the ball with our senior citizens and it
has spilled over to our children. You never see
them until they are looking for a vote.
Something is wrong with this picture and if you
don’t think so---we really have a problem.
In
closing, we didn’t live to get this old by being
stupid! I am looking forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Harold Bell
(240) 705-3447
Harold Bell is the
Godfather of Sports Talk radio and television in
Washington, DC. Throughout the mid-sixties,
seventies and eighties, Harold embarked upon a
relatively new medium–sports talk radio with
classic interviews with athletes and sports
celebrities. The show and format became wildly
popular. Harold has been an active force
fighting for the rights of children for over 40
years with the help of his wife through their
charity Kids In Trouble, Inc.
To learn more about Harold Bell
visit his official web site
The Original Inside Sports.com.
I REMEMBER EMANUEL
STEWARD: FAST and FURIOUS---A PRINCE AMONG
THIEVES!
By Harold Bell
The out pouring of love showered on Emanuel
Steward after his surprising and sudden
death was well earned. His death shocked the
boxing world. He was a genius in the confines
and corners of a boxing ring on any given night
or day.
He was affectionately known as Manny to some but
I preferred to call him Emanuel (I liked Emanuel
because it was biblical).
His friend and colleague the late boxing
historian Bert Sugar once described him as being
“The Energizing Bunny” of professional
boxing. To me he was much like the character
starring in the epic television series Richard
Boone “Have Gun Will Travel,” instead of
a gun he had boxing gloves. Emanuel was always
just a telephone call and plane ride away from
his next boxing assignment.
There was always some champion, former or
potential champion who needed to have his “Mojo”
fixed and he was the man often called on to fix
it!
His roots were in West Virginia but his heart
was in the Motor City of Detroit. He moved to
the city with his mother when he was 12 years
old.
Emanuel easily adapted to the bright lights and
big city of Detroit. He quickly learned the
language of the streets. He became a boxing
hustler of young men in the good sense of the
word.
He had an outstanding amateur boxing career with
94 wins and 3 losses and he quickly learned pro
boxing was not his calling and turned to
coaching. The rest is boxing history.
The three biggest institutions in Detroit in the
70s and 80s were General Motors headed by Lee
Iacocca, Motown Records headed by Berry
Gordy and the Kronk Boxing Gym headed by
Emanuel Steward.
I met Emanuel in the late 70s when he was making
his mark as one of the great trainers and forces
to be reckoned with in boxing.
U. S. A. amateur boxing. The first thing that
attracted me to him was his outgoing personality
which made everyone around him a friend. It
took him a little while to warm up to me.
My personal relationship with Emanuel grew out
my friendship with his partner Prentis Byrd.
Whenever I would enter in their space Emanuel
would yell, “Prentis, here comes your man
Harold Bell” and this big smile would break
out on his face!
Emanuel knew I was closely attached to Sugar
Ray Leonard and maybe this was his way of
saying “no secrets discussed please.”
There was definitely a distinct difference in
the two camps. The Kronk Gym was built on a
foundation of love, family and loyalty. Team
Leonard’s foundation was built on one of
mistrust, lies, theft and “Player Hating."
Emanuel was flawed like most human beings. He
was not tall, but he was dark and handsome and
two out of three is not bad.
These characteristics along with his taste for
fashion, quick wit and infectious smile made him
a lady’s man. He had a girl in every port. He
never saw a crap table he didn’t like and a pipe
he could not smoke.
This was the fast and furious world of boxing,
but these character flaws did not make him a bad
human being, but I do think they shorten his
life. I had his cell phone number and it was
very seldom that I called when he was not on the
run to an airport or meeting. It seems like he
always had a cold; we would be talking and he
would be sneezing and coughing. I would say
“Emanuel you have got to slow down and take
better care of yourself.” His response was
often, “I am okay. I will call you when I get
back in town.”
His heart was as big as the boxing ring when it
came to his fighters and the people he loved.
He would literally give you the shirt off of his
back (if he had not already lost it).
I remember after one fight in Vegas when
Tommy's younger brother Billy got a hot hand at
the crap table. Emanuel and Tommy walked away
with a bundle (I won over $1,000 betting
scared)!
On the way to get something to eat he put
another $1,000 in my jacket pocket.
It was business as usual for him to take one of
the fighters off of the mean streets of
Detroit. His home would become their home.
According to him, this and other missteps cost
him his first marriage.
Television personality Geraldo Rivera
once described the world of pro boxing as a
place where the rats were bigger than the lions
(Don King).
There was a lot of stress connected with
Emanuel’s boxing success. For example; I
remember one year in Atlantic City he was
working the corner of Mike Tyson for Don
King Promotions. After the fight Don had him
running back and forth to his room and made him
wait in line for his money.
When you work for DK (Don King) there are
a whole lot of mind games played devised by him
and a lot of going along to get along!
Emanuel often had money problems and during
preparation for the Tyson fight he asked DK for
and got a “Pay Day Loan.” Big mistake.
After the fight DK acted accordingly--like a
jackass. Despite his human flaws, Emanuel
Steward was one of “The Good Guys.”
His very first champion out of the Kronk gym was
Hilmer Kenty (a gentleman and class
act). However, his crown jewel and meal ticket
was the warrior known as “The Hit Man”
the one and only Thomas Hearns.
I was in Detroit covering the fights when Hilmer
and Tommy won their first titles. Tommy and
Emanuel were as close as brothers. They were
like shoes and socks, one could not go anywhere
without the other!
Hilmer stopped Ernesto Espana in the 9th
round in March 1980 to win the Lightweight World
title at Joe Louis Arena in downtown Detroit.
Five months later I would return to Detroit to
watch Tommy knock out Pipino Cuevas in two
rounds to win the Welterweight title.
It was during this visit to Detroit I would
introduce Emanuel to my friend Wayne Davis
who was the Director of the FBI field office in
Detroit. Wayne and I had become fast friends
when he was working in DC during the late
60s. It was that same time period I was working
in the streets with youth gangs for the DC
Recreation Department.
I knew Wayne and Emanuel would like each other
because of their outgoing personalities.
Neither man was a phony in any sense of of the
word.
Wayne would later write and thank me for
introducing him to Emanuel.
Left to
Right: Detroit FBI Director Wayne Davis
takes me on a tour of Headquarters
When I became a trusted member of the Kronk
Family Gym it was nothing for Emanuel or Prentis
to call me and say “Harold we are going to be
in DC this week and we are bringing Tommy and
Hilmer, line something up for us to do in the
community!”
I think they got a kick out of coming to DC and
pissing Sugar Ray Leonard off and exposing him
for forgetting who he was and where he came
from!
Left to
Right: Kronk Gym's Thomas Hearns and Hilmer
Kenty (background) and Harold Bell in DC
supporting Kids In Trouble, Inc
In 2007 at the 37th Annual Christmas toy party
for needy children we honored Emanuel with the
Kids In Trouble, Inc Life Time Achievement
Award for his support of Inside Sports and
our many community endeavors.
Emanuel had a lot in common with the great
boxing guru the late Angelo Dundee. They
both were class acts and generous with their
time. Emanuel was definitely the Godfather of
boxing in the Motor City.
When Emanuel’s passing was officially announced,
words of love came in from around the world.
HBO Sports president Ken Hershman said,
"There are no adequate words to describe the
enormous degree of sadness and loss we feel at
HBO Sports with the tragic passing of Manny
Steward. For more than a decade, Manny was a
respected colleague who taught us so much not
only about the sweet science but also about
friendship and loyalty. His energy, enthusiasm
and bright smile were a constant presence. Ten
bells do not seem enough to mourn his passing.
His contributions to the sport and to HBO will
never be forgotten. Our thoughts and prayers are
with his family."
Washingtonian and Detroit Mayor Dave Bing said,
"With the loss of Emanuel Steward, we have
lost a true Detroit icon. Emanuel Steward
embodied our city's toughness, our competitive
spirit, and our determination to always answer
the bell. We are grateful for Emanuel Steward's
many contributions to our city and his impact on
generations of young people."
There were words of condolences from former
heavyweight champion, Lennox Lewis and reigning
heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko.
Klitschko said, “I will miss our time
together. The long talks we had about boxing,
the world, and life itself. Most of all I will
miss our friendship, rest in peace Emanuel.”
"(My brother) Vitali and I, along with the
entire Team Klitschko, send our deepest and most
heartfelt condolences to Emanuel's family and
friends," Wladimir Klitschko said in a
statement. "It is not often that a person in any
line of work gets a chance to work with a
legend. Well I was privileged enough to work
with one for almost a decade.
"I will miss our time together," Klitschko
said. "The long talks about boxing, the world,
and life itself but most of all I will miss our
friendship. You will be greatly missed.
My team and I will carry on with the goals
we had set while Emanuel was with us because
that is exactly what Emanuel would have wanted.
I know he will be with us in spirit along the
way and we will accomplish these goals in his
honor, until we meet again my friend."
Klitschko, is training in Austria for a November
10 title defense against Mariusz Wach, knew the
gravity of Steward's illness and was forced this
week to announce a replacement for Steward for
the fight, tapping Steward Disciple and pro
heavyweight Johnathon Banks, a Kronk Gym
product.
Emanuel began working with Klitschko in 2004,
and their first fight resulted in a knockout
loss to Lamon Brewster. But under Steward's
steady hand, Klitschko rebuilt himself into a
heavyweight force and one of the most dominant
heavyweight champions in history.
He got a lot of the credit for helping Klitschko
mentally as much as he did for training him
physically. Klitschko and Steward shared a close
bond that went deeper than simply trainer and
fighter.
The words of Lennox Lewis I think summed up the
feelings of those who knew and loved Emanuel
Steward when he said: "I'm completely
devastated by the passing of my long time
friend, mentor and trainer Emanuel 'Manny'
Steward, Manny has helped me get through some of
the biggest fights in my career and I only
regret that I couldn't return the favor and see
him through his biggest fight.
We've maintained a close relationship and
the last time we spoke he seemed his usual
upbeat self so it was very disturbing to hear
about his illness and rapid decline. It is with
a heavy heart that the realization of what I
hoped were just rumors, are now in fact true.
Manny always told me I was the best, but the
truth is, he was the best and I'm grateful,
privileged and honored to be counted among his
many historic successes. We've truly lost one
of boxing's crown jewels. Manny was giving,
selfless, compassionate and stern. He always
gave back to the community and never forgot
where he came from. He was an institution unto
himself and I'm proud to have had him in my
corner for so many years.
I'm extremely grateful for the time that I
was given with him and he will be severely
missed by all who knew and loved him. I'll miss
his smile, his frank no-holds-barred
truthfulness and our discussions on boxing and
life. My prayers and condolences go out to his
family at this very difficult time."
In this time where a lot of attention is being
focused on sports figures and their struggle
with finances, I hope Emanuel's decade long
employment with HBO, his relationship with
Lennox Lewis and the Klitschko brothers will
mitigate any potential financial woes.
Muhammad Ali, I think described Emanuel best. I
remember asking Ali how he distinguished his
true friends. Ali said: “Friends are
like our shadows they are with you as long as
you are in the sun, but once you cross over into
the shade your shadow disappears. A friend is
always doing something for you and never
expecting anything in return.” Sounds a
lot like my friend Emanuel Steward!
Harold Bell is the
Godfather of Sports Talk radio and television in
Washington, DC. Throughout the mid-sixties,
seventies and eighties, Harold embarked upon a
relatively new medium–sports talk radio with
classic interviews with athletes and sports
celebrities. The show and format became wildly
popular. Harold has been an active force
fighting for the rights of children for over 40
years with the help of his wife through their
charity Kids In Trouble, Inc.
To learn more about Harold Bell
visit his official web site
The Original Inside Sports.com.
Prophet Abraham
By Cheryl Myrie
10/18/2012
One of the most talked
about Prophets is Abraham. I was reminded of
Prophet Abraham most recently due to the
concerning issues reported by the foreign press
regarding one of the pillars of the Islamic
religion. All Muslims at least once in their
life time are expected to go to visit the Holy
Kaba. The Kaba is the Holy Structure that
Abraham and his son Ismail were instructed by
God to build. The most repeated stories about
Abraham do not include the story about the Kaba.
One of the most repeated stories is about Sarah
the wife of Abraham. Because Sarah had come to
the conclusion that she was barren, as the story
go’s she suggest to Abraham that he conceive a
child with their slave Hagar the includes how
Sarah became bitter towards Hagar and requested
that Abraham through both his son Ismail and his
mother Hagar out into the street. Another story
that is repeated often is the story of God
commanding Abraham to slay his son Ismail, who
he conceived with Hagar as an offering and just
as Abraham reluctantly was about to slay Ismail
God order Abraham to stop.
There are hundreds of
thousands of Muslims that make the holy
pilgrimage to the Kaba every year. This year it
was reported that a group of Nigerian women were
not permitted to take part in the pilgrimage.
Women under the age of 50 are not allowed to go
on the pilgrimage to the Kaba without their
husbands. A long time friend of mine who has
gone on the pilgrimage told me that on his last
visit, they had been told that women age of
fifty and older could go unescorted.
So I was very taken back
by the statement that Joel Olsten, who I have
watched for years, and who I have been in
agreement with his statements and inspired by
his preaching, however a few Sundays ago he said
something I could not relate to at all. He was
speaking on the topic of set time. Basically
what Joel said was that we have set times in our
lives when the manifestations of our prayers
materialize. He said we should learn to be
patient and not take matters in our own hands.
Which, I agree with Pastor Olsten on the
statement of there being a timeline in which God
has ordained for condition to take place in
every human beings life. However the next
statement Pastor Olsten said was totally out of
line. He said that we should not produce Ismails
and that we should wait for Isaacs. Isaac was
conceived by Abraham and Sarah after Ismail was
born. I am not sure how the Ismails and the
Issacs watching and listening felt about that
statement. From what I understand, God is all
powerful and nothing comes into existence
without his permission. What I would have like
Joel to explain is why of all of God’s prophets,
why God did chose Abraham and his son Ismail to
build the Kaba. I would like to know why did
Jesus when speaking to the Phrases say that
“before Abraham he was” (John chapter 8:58).
Joel Olsten seems to at
the worse, to make a judgment and not a
revelation regarding Ismail or perhaps the
wording he used was not up to par with the
meaning he was trying to get across. There are
people in this world who try to impede on the
next person’s blessings by redirecting that
individual personally and/or by changing the
atmosphere around that individual or
individuals, which can cause them to miss out on
what is in store for them. We all know that
saying being in the right place at the right
time. There is also that saying what God has in
store for you cannot be taken from you.
The Arms That Offer No Comfort
By T. Duffy
I’ll begin by saying I truly believe today’s
young black men retain a great amount of
personal fear as they grow to adulthood.
Although not by choice, it’s a condition that
shares doubt about his future, so it gives him
few reasons to believe in his chance to
accomplish most things. Listening and sometimes
being told he will fail or be killed within the
time frame when he should be developing himself,
most often fail to search for solutions to
disprove it. Since it wouldn’t be an assumption
hearing it over and over again, it can sometimes
give rise to anti-social behavior. So most are
often disagreeable as a way of shielding them
from what they may hear or experience not only
from the system, but their people also.
If they begin life with less social or economic
strife, it supposes to give them a better
chance. But still not able to disconnect from
the basic stereotyping of black males, they can
get caught up in the same as well. On the other
hand those whose life starts with more
difficulty, will sometimes mature to exhibit
some lack of confidence, besides grow less
trusting of others, even family, which could be
the reason parents and innocent people have
ended up in their cross-hairs. We are
expected to praise our children when they try
hard to make us proud, but regardless of effort,
economic or social condition, all black children
still has to grow up in a society where bigotry
is still their more challenging obstacle.
Since this type of unfairness have never had any
distinction who should feel its hurt, many
adults trying to subsist in their domestic lives
as well, sometimes unintentionally cause even
children who follow the rules to fall to the
wayside. Unfortunately this is often seen in
single parent homes.
I’m in no way making excuses for what these
young men have done or could do, because few
would believe if I told them weathering a storm
could give them the ability to deal with the
next. So I understand why blacks, who have been
through some of the worst of times and
accomplished many things, may have less empathy
for them.
Just as significant, I believe I understand why
rational has no place in their demeanor. If you
trust no one, you must be in a position to
monitor those or what you fear and the only way
many have dealt with this, is to possess what I
feel has unfortunately become his signature.
It’s the only reality to cope and remove all
that he fears and mistrusts, which gives no
respect for race or age unfortunately. So since
many are convinced the most significant thing to
insure this is weaponry above challenging the
stereotyping, their future remain bleak. Besides
that most are oblivious their greatest threat
comes from men who think and live like they do.
But I will add this, hypothetically speaking who
would be next when all are dead? I’ll leave the
answer for that with those who may often pray
for it to occur, as a solution to end what many
have done, or could do in the future.
Even if we have a fair amount of optimism about
it changing, until it occurs at what point do
blacks step up [as a concerned group] to not
remain silent or just complain, but to confront
those we can, to understand any connection with
guns is more tolerant to a system who’s been
successful putting them in prison or better yet
make sure all are eventually buried. Since any
chance of improving the race lies on our youth,
we must append more time trying to save those
who we can. But for others should they care
innocent blacks is often the victims of their
gun play? Secondly if they have children since
many do, do they care their own children or
loved ones are susceptible to being gunned down
in the playground or walking the streets by guys
who act and think like them?
If blacks can vision their lives to be somewhat
better because of the present president, they
should also feel the same about attending to any
bad element that wouldn’t ensure it would
happen. Metaphorically speaking if you’re
sickly, your life or happiness is still
questionable. Considering what would be a
normal response in this society, we would expect
our concerns to be as important as other
communities, because in most areas of the
country when growing problems begin to affect
people, in most situations they’re given
immediate attention. So when folks in areas not
affected by similar situations as often, read
that another black child or innocent person was
shot unnecessarily, do they care to the point
where they rise up to confront the authorities
to clamp down on those situations or gun
control? Probably not, because general concerns
will show most are more concerned about keeping
it out of their neighborhoods.
So anything and everything that in some way
would or could affect us in negative ways, we
must handle with vigor and totally as a group.
Remaining silent has hushed many voices
permanently who will never grow to be an adult
or those who may have chose to make a
difference. I sometimes suggest we keep an eye
on what’s going on in our neighborhoods, as we
listen closely to any unfair conditions or
rhetoric many blacks forth against often in the
courts, decades before many of these men were
born.
My reason is because it could cause those who
remembered because they lived during those
times, to now believe we have to go through the
same thing again. We may believed we’re more
aware of our future using cell phones or
tablets, smarter judging this example by the
things we are seeing now, or even richer using
another examples, but are we prepared to face
obstacles still dealing with the vulnerability
of our race, that could take us back to square
one. Two things I believe would make it
difficult, is contentment and the lack of
support for other blacks.
Although I believe we’re heading in the right
direction, there is still some who has yet
considered it’s harmful to ignore the negative
element of individuals who’s often problematic
to the safety of the community, to express their
limits of tolerance for their transgressions.
Although it has a broader meaning for us, it has
no significance for hatred. It’s just our
preference for safety. Is this form of criticism
a way to trounce on blacks again? Of course not,
it’s sometimes the only way to alert us to
what’s necessary to be safe to have some peace
amongst the race, so positive things can rise to
help better the chances many are still up
against.
The Consequence of Exploitation is Long term
Repression
By
T. Duffy
When historians or devoted religious men speak
of mankind, it usually means all people. My
question to this is why the emphasis of man
should be the only inclusive way to identify all
people. Was this significant for scholars who
were men, to further man into a position of
governance? Furthermore no group, or society,
have rarely if ever proclaimed men to be
sovereign. History will show his dominance only
faced little chance to be disproved, because of
his methods of launching control or religious
manuscripts re-written by men conveying pious
consequences so even reluctant believers would
still be fearful of challenging.
Observing so-called democratic societies such as
America, this characteristic wouldn’t expect to
exist, since the ancestors of most asserted they
left homelands to get from under such systems,
yet it has risen here in subtle ways amongst
their offspring. Regardless of rationale, white
men who choose to identify themselves as such,
over their true European characteristic, have
assumed it to be his entitlement. But men with
lesser status aren’t included, because of an
assumed innate blueprint regarding privilege,
which affix majority status to make it more
credible. That notion, which I believe is
psychologically inherent, is what allows him to
build social and economic barriers to make it
difficult for development amongst anyone he sees
fit to exclude. Be it legal or illegal, many
received their economic boosts to status because
of forebears, so using the only protective way
to maintain control is to downplay lesser
groups, besides to demonstrate a minimum
significance for women and children. But to his
ignorance white women have learned to use
learned methods against him to show his
vulnerability. Black women may show similar
aptitude amongst men of their own race, but
since support for them is often imperfect, any
resolution sometimes ends up becoming a setback.
The lack of finances is usually an added
problem.
Adding to that blacks or African Americans as a
group has yet learned how to maximize their
chances by minimizing the course of action
brought on by him. But just from observing his
recurring conduct, should have made that
possible. In fact many won’t be aware of the
subtle applauds because [they lost the most]
after the economic fiasco. Some may accept it be
the norm since they are part of a so-called
minority. But others could feel regardless what
they did that was right they still got caught up
in the dilemma, so if and when things get better
theirs will also. Since many were part of the
middleclass, they could believe any help that
would give the middleclass a boost, would
include them also. In spite of what they believe
their chance of recovery could be limited. There
may have been many reasons for the financial
debacle, but since the black middleclass were
frequently observed for decades growing to
become more vocal politically about everything,
besides generating an obvious measure of
financial growth, learning how it had lifted up
blacks in that group, became a valued return.
The same way day after day people in other
countries watch what takes place here to have an
opinion; blacks are being watched by closer
neighbors.
I
know this idea could be far-fetch, but since
blacks are the most noticeable because of their
sinister beginning here, they must find a way to
bring into play men and women as balance and
reject those who damage those chances, since you
can’t succeed if there’s no unanimity. Because I
also conclude we’re living in a society where
ethnicity clashes, we must learn to be more
vigilant in our relationship with others yet
more sincere dealing with our own. It’s not
separation, its awareness. The reason is blacks
are being scrutinized more frequently by
everyone.
But here are reoccurring obstacles for the
doubters. I would ask why have [voter rights],
become the most political soon after blacks
suffered their financial setback. On the other
hand, what may help to level the playing field
are the demographics of the county, which could
give us some relief, because they have to now
direct their efforts to people whose political
concerns has to be stirred, if they expect to
gain their support.
Listening how self absorbed some can be they
wouldn’t believe the prevailing face of America
would eventually change during their life time.
I believe they felt it was the decrease in
nuptials and birth rate of white women
decreasing that allowed it to happen, which
stirred the climate of panic to bring forth
restrictions in abortion again. I also believe
further politics is to try to remove the
decision of Rowe versus Wade, which to me would
make no sense long term.
Although there would be no truth to how they
feel or react, it still caused them to try to
monitor the lives of women, with emphasis again
on their women.
But reviewing the age of some of these men, they
could be dead or less severe retired when and if
the population of whites in this country would
place them back into the majority. If they
quietly tried to solicit people from Europe to
come here with some hidden rewards to help
change what’s going on. But the problem with
immigration would become something they would
never be able to resolve.
On a different note, these same men believe
money to be the instrument to change things in
their favor. Today more are not only putting
money in foreign banks, but some are even
establishing residents in those same places
also. Oddly enough they fail to believe an
impasse could suddenly happen no matter where
they live, especially if similar self serving
individuals feel it’s their opportunity to
nationalize their holdings. But being more
factual, it could come sooner, because few if
any taxes were paid on that money.
If we have some general concerns for what
happens in those places and we should, we must
observe how the rhetoric of politics is no
longer accepted to be paramount; people only
want what they lost, since many are the
recipient of a failed economic growth as well.
The difference is a great percentage of people
in this country who are still stuck on bigotry,
yet may have almost nothing to live still feel
obligated to follow politicians on likeness,
rhetoric and promises.
Men are generally perceive and expected to be
leaders, even if he doesn’t have a reason to
over emphasize it. But any reason above this
norm is detrimental to a society who can only
successfully sustain itself by the personal
efforts of all people. Which would means those
at the bottom expect some compassion and support
from those in the middle who are often better
off, as each fragment react in harmony with
further contribution from those at the top.
Societies who failed to commit to this or maybe
care usually has a greater populace of poor, in
constant internal turmoil and usually only
sustain those who use underhanded methods to
maintain power. It took a civil war and slaves
from Africa who also fought although being
forced to labor, besides the efforts of other
non whites who also labored to raise this
country to greatness, yet it can be a few who
can destroy it. Ironically they are all men.
To make this more believable I’ll give two
scenarios, the first is how young black men have
create a negative atmosphere that’s not only
detrimental to the people who live there, but
doesn’t allow black or white businesses to
established themselves within the community to
support growth. The second is Penn State
University. Considering what some said occurred
there by a group of men for many years, money
from past or future donors, parents choosing to
send their children there in the future, or the
institution just continuing to maintain its
prominence, will probably eventually dissipate
over the years. Adding to it are the blameless
people who own and work for the businesses the
university supported for decades, they could
suffer severely also.
SETH MITCHELL: HEAVYWEIGHT MADE IN AMERICA!
When you hear the name of boxer Seth “Mayhem”
Mitchell and look at his record 23-0-1 with 17
KOs you wonder where did this guy come from and
how did he get here so fast?
Seth is 28 years old and began boxing at the age
of 25 and on Saturday December 10th
at the Walter Washington Convention Center in
Washington, DC he will be the co-feature in a
HBO boxing extravaganza called the “Capital
Showdown.”
Lamont Peterson of the fabulous Peterson
brothers will be the other half of the
co-feature. Lamont is the IBF’s No. 1 rated
contender. He will face Super Lightweight World
Champion Amir Khan from Bolton, England.
Native Washingtonian, boxing historian and HBO
analyst Bert Randolph Sugar said, “That is a
great card. I wish I could come home for that
one. Amir is a great talent and Lamont will
need to bring his A Game.”
Bert is recuperating from a health setback and
will watch the show on television.
Seth grew up in Virginia Beach, Virginia it was
there he got involved with athletics at an early
age. He was big for his age and played football
and basketball with guys much older and he more
than held his own. He was 12 years old when his
mother Jeanette moved the family to Brandywine,
Maryland.
In Brandywine he grew into a six-foot 200 pound
All-American linebacker at Gwynn Park High
School. Seth was considered one of the 20 top
high school linebackers in America. He was
named Maryland Defensive Player of the Year,
Washington Post Defensive Player of the Year,
USA Today Maryland State Player of the Year. He
had college scholarship offers in the double
digits.
Winning the praise and recognition from the
media is great but nothing is more important
than when family and friends say “Job well
done.” In 2005 Seth became the first player in
Gwynn Park High School history to have his
jersey retired (No. 48).
After high school Seth chose to attend Michigan
State University. He was redshirted as a
freshman and as a sophomore middle linebacker he
was second on the team in tackles. The next
year he led the Spartans in tackles averaging
10.6 a game. He saved the best for arch-rival
Ohio State when he recorded his career high 17
tackles. In 2005 his promising NFL career was
cut short due to injury.
When you start to talk about role models for
young student/athletes Seth fits the mold,
instead of sitting around talking about his
misfortune he literally pulled himself up by his
bootstraps. He continued his education and
received his Bachelor of Arts in Criminal
Justice and Security Management.
He is unique in the boxing world where fighters
have used their brawn and not their brains for
their ticket to success.
Seth brings back memories of boxing
back-in-the-day when the heavyweight division
was made up of one great heavyweight after
another. Those were the days when fighters took
on all contenders and pretenders bar none.
Heavyweight Champions like Joe Louis and Ali
even had a “Bum of the Month Club” meaning they
fought at least once a month. Today’s
champions-----you are lucky if you see them once
a year!
Seth has been fighting for only 3 short years
but he has had fought 24 times already! He is
definitely on a mission to become Heavyweight
Champion of the World. He won’t allow anyone to
stand in his way.
His style and demeanor reminds me of the great
5 time world champion Evander Holyfield. He was
a gentleman and a man of very few words.
Leading up to Seth’s fights there will be no
poems, or “I am the Greatest” coming from his
lips, all of his talking will be done in the
ring.
His introduction to boxing didn’t come while
watching old footage of heavyweight boxers like
Ali, Frazier and Foreman. Seth was inspired by
watching former NFL player Tom Zbikowski turn to
a boxing career after a short stint in the
NFL. Seth remembers playing against Zbikowaki
while he was in college (Notre Dame) and said to
himself “If he can do it why not me?”
Seth got his nickname “Mayhem” from a former
college teammate because on game day he was a
human wrecking ball. Webster dictionary’s
definition of the word is “Willful and permanent
deprivation of a bodily member resulting in the
impairment of a person’s fighting ability!”
Evidently, Seth has transferred that ability to
do bodily harm from the football field to the
boxing ring.
It is easy to understand why he has his
priorities in order and where he gets his drive
to succeed from. All you need to do is meet his
mother, Jeanette.
I
met her while she was on her job at Gwynn Park
High School recently. She reminded me of my
heroes and role models, Grandma Bell and Mattie
Bell (mother)---no nonsense!
Her philosophy, work ethic and no nonsense
attitude about the Game Called Life is the
reason why her children try to be all that they
can be. She said in so many words “You get out
of life what you put in to it. There are no
shortcuts.”
Seth’s academic success is what she is most
proud “Because education is something that the
system or others cannot take away from you,” she
said.
Listening to his mother talk about him, it was
also clear Seth will never forget who he is and
where he came from. The USO tour to Kuwait and
Iraq to visit the troops with other boxers gave
him a new perspective on life.
He said, “Just to go over there was so special
and to spend time with the troops and see what
they go through day to day was a very humbling
experience for me. It made me appreciate some
of the things I take for granted. It’s just
something I will never forget.”
I
remember when it was unheard of the Heavyweight
Champion to be anything other than an American.
When Nazi Germany’s Max Schmeling upset the
great Joe Louis and took the title back to his
homeland in 1936, the outcry in America was so
loud Joe Louis had to go into hiding.
Ingemar Johansson of Sweden knocked out
Heavyweight Champion Floyd Patterson in June
1959 to become his country’s first World
Heavyweight Champion. Patterson was so vilified
by U. S. boxing fans he turned to wearing wigs
and dark classes trying to avoid the public.
Today the Ukrainian brothers Vladimir and Vitali
Klitschko control the heavyweight division.
Wladimir holds titles in the WBA, IBF, WBO, IBO
and Ring Magazine. His brother Vitali holds the
WBC title. Bert Sugar calls these divisions the
alphabet soup divisions of pro boxing!
The Heavyweight Champion of the World is
American as apple pie!
Seth clearly understands that he was in the
right place at the right time when Golden Boy
Productions (Oscar De La Hoya) gambled and
signed him to a contract only after 2 pro
fights.
Thanks to Golden Boy Promotions, Seth Mitchell
could be the next heavyweight champion made in
America.
Do Men Fail To Exploit Understanding In Positive
Ways?
I could have asked if only a percentage of men
fail in this, but that proportion would be
growing according to the present ways we are
seeing politics being played in this country.
Maybe it would be easier to believe if I were
pointing in the direction of men of lesser
socio-economic circumstances to be probable. But
this isn’t to beat up on men on either side, so
there’s no opportunity to compare one group
against the other, because undoubtedly it’s the
characteristics of these men that are affecting
many people. Not incidents or circumstances of a
personal nature that sometimes show their
inability to control what they do. Nevertheless
it’s necessary to have some since of compassion
for those they are supposed to serve besides
their responsibility of doing it. But it still
seems to be touch-and-go effort most still
gravel with or downplay maybe because of things
they are still emotionally dealing with. So
maybe looking at it from a different perception
would give it more of a chance to have meaning
why these men fall short of their expected
credibility.
From the beginning of time men have tried to
sustain the image of their father, great kings
and ordinary, yet many have succumbed to the
point of obscurity or exile in that endeavor.
Why? Since I’m not a social psychologists or
analysts of human behavior I must ask that
question, since I’ll be writing this from the
hip so to speak. Of course there will be a
difference of opinion; if some proclaim their
character has little or nothing to do with their
relationship with their fathers. Of course this
is contrary to my beliefs, because most men will
generally confirm my assessment. First I must be
clear about my thoughts on obscurity or exile,
because I see it to be someone of less
significance who means little to anyone based on
their past deeds, which would categorize many
men today. Anyway regardless of the studies or
concerns about the failure of fathers/men
especially in regards to relationships of
family, the beat goes on with little improvement
and ongoing statistics have shown it has gotten
worse. If I begin with men and even adding women
who were successful because of their fathers,
most have or will eventually have some negative
circumstances to cause them to separate during
that relationship. On the other hand women seem
to continue their successful exploits, but still
harness positive attitudes towards other’s with
minimum criticism about those relationships.
However men even maintaining some success will
often deal with their own demons while innately
trying to cast off the past; although oblivious
in most situations they still retain some of
their father’s basic rudiments. So they may also
fail to see their character development, to be
almost the same as the father they detest. Then
again those using some forethought, may realize
all circumstances must be well thought-out
before putting it to rest, to understand their
abilities are partially a combination of their
father’s personality that got them to their
point in life. This should allow most to have
some concerns for the father although issues may
still exist. Of course this may help to ease
inner feelings to preserve the relationship in
the future.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, the
question is what is the significance of the
male’s failed chance of eternal excellence that
seems to stem as far back as biblical times? I
believe if we could uncover or just be able to
touch on the answer, we would discover why many
other things about men seem to need some
questioning. Since most will cross the line in
unconstructive ways even with obvious
consequences ahead, there could be no
uncertainty it could be associated with some
integral form of instinct separate of the
female. Not as definitive as an animal with no
known capacity to use basic judgment, but as
natural as man’s apparent prerequisite to mate.
Since procreation seems to be his primary and
most ardent endeavor, although often with no
prior intent in the results. Maybe that’s why
many have been accused in scandalous
circumstances at all social and economic levels,
in situations above but more often below the
line of decency. So putting aside his ability to
create or develop many things, his greatest
energy seems to lean towards producing more of
his kind, although in some situations he may
demonstrate he has less knowledge of why he
should. Maybe in reality he has no perception of
the role he must embody, besides being uncertain
if his involvement would be a factor without
some expected posture which he may also feel is
only distinguished in men.
So since most could say it has never been made
clear using this example, he may innately
believe his responsibility is debatable seeing
only limited concerns from the female. But I see
that assumption often causing these results. If
you just look at the word LOVE that’s often
misused and misunderstood and then look at what
I have determined to be a more obvious meaning,
you will see its uncontrollable conditions [L-ust
O-f V-olatile E-roticism] which have and
probably will contribute to the demise of many
men especially in a society that usually
stresses ethics and morality. If he often fail
in this endeavor, why does he push harder in
that objective and not in situations where he
would have the chance to assess his chances of
excellence to survive often ridicule? We can
assume understanding in the true sense of the
word would cause even the most volatile of men
to think first, but most will question when and
if it would be personally useful, and only if it
removes consequences. Since consequences can
vary, even the most merciful can be so damaging
it doesn’t allow him to reach back to recover or
do what’s right for him or those he may or
planned to offend. Somehow this scenario may
have been what caused the separation from their
father because he showed many of the same
characteristics. So both believing they have
little reason to address this will eventually
face some degree of exile or obscurity with
difficult periods trying to restore their image.
Women will usually help or aggressively approach
other women to correct many of their
shortcomings, even if they receive a gross
amount of negative feedback. On the other hand
men fail to believe they need the same and often
the worst of attitudes comes from those who are
the most vulnerable.
Written by Thomas Duffy, Prior columnists
Afromerica.com
Due to space
constraints, the editorial
posted in the New York Times was
shortened. Read Grant’s full,
unedited response to the Fab
Five’s comments and follow other
people’s responses on his
official web site
www.granthill.com.
I am a fan, friend and long
time competitor of the Fab Five.
This should not be a surprise
because I am a contemporary of
every member of that iconic
team. I have competed against
Jalen and Chris since the age of
13. Jalen, Chris, and Juwan are
my friends and have been for 25
years. At Michigan, they
represented a cultural
phenomenon that impacted the
country in a permanent and
positive way. The very idea of
the Fab Five elicited pride and
promise in much the same way the
Georgetown teams did in the
mid-80s when I was in high
school and idolized them.
Their journey from youthful
icons to successful men today is
a road map for so many young,
black men (and women) who saw
their journey through the
powerful documentary, Fab Five.
It was a sad and somewhat
pathetic turn of events,
therefore, to see friends
narrating this interesting
documentary about their moment
in time and calling me a bitch
and worse, calling all black
players at Duke “Uncle Toms”
and, to some degree, disparaging
my parents for their education,
work ethic and commitment to
each other and to me. I should
have guessed there was something
regrettable in the documentary
when Jay Williams and I received
a Twitter apology from Jalen
before its airing. And, I am
aware Jalen has gone to some
length to explain his remarks
about my family in numerous
interviews, so I believe he has
some admiration for them.
In his garbled but sweeping
comment that “Duke only
recruits black Uncle Toms,”
Jalen seems to change the usual
meaning of those very vitriolic
words into his own meaning,
i.e., blacks from two-parent,
middle class families. He
leaves us all guessing exactly
what he believes today. And, I
wonder if I would have suggested
to former Detroit Pistons GM
Rick Sund to keep Jimmy King on
the team if I had known, back
then in the mid-90s, that he
would call me a bitch on a
nationally televised show in
2011.
I am beyond fortunate to have
two parents who are still
working well into their 60s.
They received great educations
and use them every day. My
parents taught me a personal
ethic I try to live by and pass
on to my children. They remain
committed to each other after
more than 40 years and to my
wife, Tamia, our children, and
me. They are my role models and
always will be.
I come from a strong legacy
of black Americans. My
namesake, Henry Hill, my
father’s father, was a day
laborer in Baltimore. He could
not read or write until he was
taught to do so by my
grandmother. His first present
to my dad was a set of
encyclopedias, which I now have
to remind me of the importance
of education. He wanted his
only child, my father, to have a
good education, so he made
numerous sacrifices to see that
he got an education, including
attending Yale. This is part
of our great tradition as black
Americans. We aspire for the
best or better for our children
and work hard to make that
happen for them. Jalen’s mother
is part of our great, black
tradition and made the same
sacrifices for him.
It is unbeknownst to me what
Jalen meant by his convoluted
reference to black players at
Duke considering how little he
knows about any of them. My
teammates—all of them, black and
white—were a band of brothers
who came together to play at the
highest level for the best coach
in basketball. I know most of
the black players who preceded
and followed me at Duke. They
all contribute to our tradition
of excellence on the court. It
is insulting and ignorant to
suggest that men such as Johnny
Dawkins (coach at Stanford),
Tommy Amaker (coach at Harvard),
Billy King (GM at the Nets),
Tony Lang (coach of the
Mitsubishi Diamond Dolphins in
Japan ), Thomas Hill (small
business owner in Texas), Jeff
Capel (former coach at
Oklahoma), Kenny Blakeley
(assistant coach at Harvard),
Jay Williams (ESPN analyst),
Shane Battier (Memphis
Grizzlies) or Chris Duhon
(Orlando Magic) now or ever sold
out their race. To hint that
those who grew up in a household
with a mother and father are
somehow less black than those
who did not is beyond
ridiculous. All of us are
extremely proud of the current
team, especially Nolan Smith.
He was raised by his mother,
plays in memory of his late
father and carries himself with
the pride and confidence that
they instilled in him. He is
the quintessential young Dukie.
The sacrifice, the effort,
the education and the
friendships I experienced in my
four years are priceless and
cherished. The many Duke
graduates I have met around the
world are also my “family,” and
they are a special group of
people. A good education is a
privilege. At Duke, the
expectations are high for all of
us. Just as Jalen has founded
a charter school in Michigan, we
are expected to use our
education to help others, to
improve life for those who need
our assistance and to use the
excellent education we have
received to better the world.
The total experience at Duke
taught us to think before we
act, to pause before we speak
and to realize that as adults we
have a responsibility to do
good, not just do well. A
highlight of my time at Duke was
getting to know the late, great
John Hope Franklin, James B.
Duke Professor of History and
the leading scholar of the last
century on the total history of
African Americans in this
country. His insights and
perspectives contributed
significantly to my overall
development and helped me
understand myself, my
forefathers, and my place in the
world.
Ad ingenium faciendum, toward
the building of character, is a
phrase I recently heard. To me,
it is the essence of an
educational experience.
Struggling, succeeding, trying
again and having fun within a
nurturing but competitive
environment built character in
all of us, including every black
graduate of Duke.
My mother always says, “You
can live without Chaucer and you
can live without calculus, but
you cannot make it in the wide,
wide world without common
sense.” As we get older, we
understand the importance of
these words. Adulthood is
nothing but a series of choices:
you can say yes or no, but you
cannot avoid saying one or the
other. In the end, those who
are successful are those who
adjust and adapt to the
decisions they have made and
make the best of them. I only
hope I can instill in my
children the same work ethic,
the same values, the same common
sense approach to life and the
same pursuit of excellence my
parents, Coach K and Duke gave
me.
I caution my fabulous five
friends to avoid stereotyping me
and others they do not know in
much the same way so many people
stereotyped you back then for
your appearance and swagger. I
wish for you the restoration of
the bond that made you friends,
brothers and icons. I hope you
reach closure with your
university so you will enjoy all
the privileges of its greatness.
I try to live my life as a
good husband and father. I am
proud of my family. I am proud
of my Duke championships and all
my Duke teammates. And, I am
proud I never lost a game
against the Fab Five.
Grant Henry Hill
Phoenix Suns
Duke ‘94
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Welcome
To My World
By Susie
Taylor Miller
Today I have a negative balance in my checking
account, the cable/Internet has been turned off,
my ex husband is 4 months behind in child
support and my gas tank is on “Empty.”
I don’t like this…
“Welcome to my world”… my husband says.
A few months back, at my place of employment, I
protected my employee from the harassing remarks
of a guest (I manage a multimillion dollar chain
restaurant)… In the process, I was called every
nasty name in the book (including “stank as _
ghetto bit__”), I was kicked and then… she spit
on my face…
I didn’t like that…
“Welcome to my world”… my husband said.
A few years back, my husband and I were driving
through downtown Santa Barbara, CA (primarily
“Whiteville”, as I say) and I quipped, “Why are
you driving so slow?” “We are being followed by
the police,” was his reply… I whipped around
quickly to take a look, which I was readily
reprimanded in that loving husband-like way…
“Why are we being followed?” I asked.
“Don’t you get it? You are a white woman in
the car with a black man and the police are
suspicious.”
“Suspicious of what?” I (truly) asked
innocently.
“Any number of things… Kidnapping, domestic
violence, rape… you name it!” I got that
steel-eyed glare…
I didn’t understand that…
“Welcome to my world”… he said again.
My husband and I went into a well known coffee
establishment in San Marino, CA (no “color”
there!) and every person, young and old, turned
to look at us… well, him, rather.
It was as if Godzilla walked into
the room…
I had never experienced that before…
“Welcome to my world”… he said, rolling his
eyes…
In recollection, I am utterly ashamed of my
race. The “caucasians”… Humph.
One can never know the experiences of another
until they truly “walk in their shoes”, or at
least walk with them. People are
still messed up about race. They
don’t think they are, but they are. They might
not want to be, but they are…
There are a couple of “pre” words that factor
into my life, now that I am married to a black
man.
Presumption and Prejudice.
Presumptions and Prejudices about my husband
1.
Unable to get a “real” job
2.
Sits around all day in his studio, “playing
around” with his music
3.
Not willing to go out and get “any type” of job
4.
He is just like my ex husband
5.
He “stirs up the pot” and causes division in our
family because he’s bold and outspoken
6.
He sits around all day and
let’s his wife
work the “real” job
These presumptions and prejudices were in the
heart and mind of those who say they “love” me
before they even met my husband!
Now, that’s wrong, silly and just plain
ignorant! They wouldn’t stand for someone to
presuppose anything about THEM
before meeting them.
Why was that OK to do with my
husband?
Because they thought they
already
knew what they needed to know about him…
Based on what? The news, music, hearsay,
personal relationships with black folk (if
any)? That, to me, is foolishness and downright
prejudice.
It is all very black and white (pun definitely
intended!)
I am ashamed and embarrassed by many people who
are white. People I know. Those I don’t.
I can never say to a person of color, “I know
what you’re going through”. How can I? I have
no idea, but I’m beginning to get a glimpse…
Praise God! I do not want to go through life
thinking I know, when I don’t. I want my
children (from my first marriage) to know and
experience things in the life of a person of a
different race, for this will bring about the
change that I believe Dr. King,
Ralph David Abernathy,
Bernard Lee,
Fred Shuttlesworth, and
C.T. Vivian spoke of over 40 years
ago, and those many years before…
If I allow my kids to live life in a “white
bubble”, then the attitude of prejudice, and
dare I say, “white superiority”, will never
wane, but perpetuate into the generations to
come. This scares me and I cannot sit by the
sidelines watching the parade of faux “civil
rights for all” go by…
Although I can never say I know the sting of
discrimination in the manner which many black
people have experienced, I can say I am
beginning to feel a pin-prick of it…
For example, as our blended family, consisting
of a black dad, white mom, two caucasian
children and two bi-racial (black and caucasian)
children, enter a restaurant, I get the
strangest looks, particularly from elderly white
folks. They look at me as if I have “let them
down” by being married to a black man. Well,
they need to pull their heads out of the “sand
of elitism” and deal with it! I couldn’t find a
decent, honest Christian white man out there. I
was blessed to find a real MAN…
My husband, who is obviously black, is
accomplished, committed, loyal, dedicated,
honest, loving, sacrificial, hard-working,
respected and amazing!
Perhaps, if those folks who think they know what
they really don’t know, could, for
a moment, embrace this man I call “my husband”,
they would find out that this Black Man in
America is something else… and I could say to
them…
“Welcome (with open arms and a loving heart) to
MY world…”
PS: As I was writing this, I did a “spell check”
and the “spell checker” kept telling me to
capitalize the word “caucasian” (it just did it
again!). Until the word “black” becomes
capitalized in reference to a race of people, I
will continue to lower case the “c” in caucasian!
Yes… “I’m just sayin’”…
So
what do you think? If you would like to respond to this
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My Only Reasons To Question
The Gender Of God
By Thomas Duffy
Looking at
the title and not seeing immediately what it’s
about. I would expect some readers to believe
this has no real concern for them. Or maybe if
they read further, they suddenly believe it only
has something to do with how I feel about women,
although religion may have been assumed to be
part of the subject matter also. But this has
nothing primarily to do with religion or women.
It does have an importance to women and men
also, as well as conditions relating to the
behavior of both. Maybe not in the sense of
general conduct, but in ways that must question
the logic and integrity of both. But I may be
more critical of blacks because any
transgression that’s perpetrated against our own
people only pushes us further back to allow more
criticism.
First of all
I’m apprehensive about some of the so-called
indelible characteristics blacks claim to have
continued a mountain of problems for them. So I
direct my first thoughts to my people. But first
to black women since they’re often in the
forefront to often claim they usually deal with
most socio-economic problems. Feeling it’s just
an assertion, it may also give some a reason to
believe it’s their time to lead, and especially
if they feel black men haven’t done their part.
But speaking hypothetically, if they’re leaning
in that direction, they shouldn’t forget the
flock again, since they were given or some say
forced upon the task way back, but fell short on
success. This isn’t blame, its fact. So still
maybe having a reason to feel nothing has
changed in her life for the better. I must
understand was more trying is how she took care
of black children while in some situation
monitoring his life. Of course this could be a
slight overstatement on my part. But I must bear
in mind there’s some reality to it. Few blacks
would disagree they expect whites to be more
truthful about their behavior, yet some of us
don’t want to deal with our own lies.
With that
out of the way, I’ll continue. I strongly
believe the fate of black women is their mistake
following white feminists, not their
relationships with white women. Since the
difference should be apparent, my claim isn’t in
favor of either or racists. I say it to also
calm the mind-set of black women who feel white
women is beginning to invade their space,
especially when it comes to black men. But that
would be confusing, if many still believe few
black men has or will have monetary value, so in
truth he probably won’t matter to either. So it
makes me wonder when and why have it suddenly
become so important to black women, since a
percentage of black men haven’t gained or
sustained himself in that area. Anyway the
difficulty for black women, will be tuning their
lives to contribute to feminists ideologies, not
realizing the last thing on the feminists agenda
is sisterhood. Their real objective is to modify
the social and economic configuration of the
society to gain more independence and power,
just look at the great Sarah Palin. However
looking and listening how slanted language,
greed and the politics of petty white men have
screwed things up, feminists are probably happy
they may not have to work too hard to get there.
So even with that possibility, it would still
limit the future chances of black women much
more, because some could also be considered a
source of competition. If they are seen to be
antagonists that would slow feminist’s
intentions, only the elitist of black women
who’s preference has been to follow their
trends, would be allowed to function without
some measured obstacles or deliberate scrutiny.
Of course this should sound familiar and with
some truth, just from remembering how white men
systematically dealt primarily with black men
for decades.
Moving to
something else for the moment, I believe this
society generally favor women over men. I don’t
have to prove it, all you have to be is
observant. Is it because the vagina has power
over the penis or women being the starting place
for life makes them more divine. Or is there
some innate quilt that exists amongst the male
psychic. Since some may agree with the first
part, they could still be stuck on that
possibility, but I’m speaking figuratively, not
literally.
Maybe I
should first clear up something before
continuing. Please don’t misinterpret my lead
question to be my religious beliefs or lack of.
*But I still had to wonder, because who
wouldn’t protect their kind regardless of the
things they do and then reward most with long
life. It’s like white men denying there’s an
alliance called the “good old boys club”. Since
few on either side would dispute either, I will
try to reveal some of the bad habits, attitudes
and characteristics which affect the lives of
innocent people sometimes and try to show
reasons and conditions for why it continues. For
now I’ll give the benefit of doubt to black
women, although they are partially responsible
for chiseling away part of the foundation of
blacks in a transitional way. Of course saying
this won’t help my chances of not being called a
hater of black women. Knowing this could also
upset those who are quick to be adamant, even
when the criticism isn’t personally directed at
them. But mother used to say to us kids, “if she
had a reason to scold us and during that session
we continue ducking, trying to get our point
across to show our lesser reason for guilt, we
must have done something wrong. So each one of
us must stand up and accept the blame. If I said
Whitney Huston was as guilty for her failed
circumstances as her ex-husband Bobby Brown has
been accused of, the language would still change
in her favor. But we see a difference response
from white women, when some media person is
criticizing the same ex governor of Alaska Sarah
Palin for her misplaced political and social
rhetoric. Is it because whites have less of a
fostered neurosis, they have few reasons to
defend her? But having a reason to continue with
Sarah Palin for the moment, why has she gotten a
free pass? Where is the public outcry because of
her lack of accountability? Is she any better
than the women who slept with Tiger Woods
knowing he was married and would probably have a
big divorce bill later? Aren’t they prime
examples of what moral principles say’s we
should never be?
Anyway I
always believed people would normally treat me
the way I treated them. I don’t remember if
there was a reason or period when it became
important. But I thought it would protect me
from anyone who could incite a different side of
me. So getting closer to further examining these
and other characteristics, maybe it will show
why there’s a lasting stalemate between men and
women over what should be expected. Listening to
many things women get upset about that often
ends up becoming confrontational. I realized
there’s rarely any effort to get things solved.
Regardless why it happens or my certainty about
this, if I was in the middle of it, it made no
difference if I conceded, especially if there
was a man standing nearby who felt they should
put in their two cents. Of course it was more
brainless than peculiar, but often it was a guy
who probably forgot he was dealing with his own
problems because of a woman, or women. Maybe he
felt she was a better prospect for what he hoped
could be ahead for him if she accepts his
intrusion. So I had to protect myself from not
only becoming a dog [spelled correctly] of
women, as I had to keep an eye out for men also,
knowing some would even beat me down [sounding
less physical] just because of her. This is why
I sometimes wonder about the inner workings of
my gender and wonder if God has many of the same
deficiencies as men who believe they are somehow
an image of God. Some remind me of the male
insect attacking another male for the female
only to win and then be devoured by her soon
after fulfilling his urges. It was never
unusual for some guy whose intent became
obvious, to try to make me look foolish jumping
in the middle of my situation, not knowing why
it started or the seriousness of it. But
changing times have caused men to complain about
being mistreated by a woman, especially if
they’re in the middle of a domestic storm. His
past reluctance to do it, somehow made him feel
weak or probably look weak, so most dealt with
it until they found some other way to get it off
their chest. But was weakness really at the
center of it, or did he concede to avoid what he
thought the penis would be missing. But
senselessly most forgot if she accused him first
even showing no scars, next follows the order of
protection and then the judge, who’ll charge him
with contempt because his eyes lids were
blinking rapidly because of disbelief. Even
getting smacked in the faced sometimes, he still
has to be forgiving and mindful of the so-called
fragileness that exonerates her actions. Oddly
those guidelines were set aside legally in the
courts by men. So speaking about those
circumstances, I continue with the probability
of the vagina ruling over the penis, since men
are usually in defense and pursuit of it
sometimes to their demise. Note: Although men
aren’t the primary participants in the
pornography industry, dealing with it as just
something common since men are the main
contributors for its success, it has become
their nemesis. On the other hand so-called women
of ethics have declared it degrades women. If
that’s true, why are more young women
progressively trying to move into that industry,
than those trying to do things that would show
women in a better light?
Reading the
bible or any other historic spiritual
manuscript, made me recognize why the scribes
believed just from her present’s things would
change, since many stories have minimized her
significance as they also limit her uniqueness.
Most men can remember when they were boys and
the prettiest girl in the neighborhood walked up
while they were playing, their game ended up
becoming a fight to prove their supposed
manhood. Anyway, she’s still been able to
survive for thousands of years, manipulating
situations and men who defend her so-called
honor, while letting them believe they were
superior to everything that exist. But I’ll ask,
who can say for sure, woman who carry and birth
a life is more superior to [man] the donor?
Furthermore I often wonder if men were really
convinced about their dominion, why they show no
measure of humility and consideration for other
men. If they believe they are a conceptual
vision of God where’s the compassion? Although
I’m not letting the male off the hook, I still
have a deeper reason to search for why women
generally get away with most transgressions. As
a man I know men sometimes have unclear reasons
for bad behavior. In some situations not caring
death could happen during a minor disagreement.
But a woman damaging a man’s life is often worse
than death. Some will patronize them as they
plan to take anything and everything that’s
important. When compromise would suffice, they
still impound his children after destroying
personal things. Yet will still demand a sizable
part of anything he has left. So I always felt,
“What’s mine is hers and what’s hers the courts
will say I have no right to anyway”. Maybe it
was ordained and written in their ledger, hidden
in a place of female antiquity that remains
sacred and absolute. So because of his minimum
amount of reminisce to protect himself, he
rarely keeps most of what he has acquired. Oddly
it begins during an unspecified period, since
few believe there will be unexpected conditions
they could face. Usually believing what head
he’s usually thinking with, she also knows he
rarely feels he needs to probe the strength of
their relationship, since his personal assurance
is measured by what he’s able to provide for
her. Only there would definitely be a test in
the future. So I’m still stuck on who I feel has
savvier, observing how man’s time on earth have
been calculated and built into the way women
perceive men and plan their future.
When I was
trying to build my business years ago, I never
thought it would be gangster women walking in
one day to extort me or threaten to take over.
Any interaction with them would only depend of
my success. If I did okay, I would expect some
to sashay through the door “backing that thing
up”, trying to charm their way into my pockets,
regardless if I was pleasing to the eye or not.
If I fail, they would rank me out to be some
wannabe player dawg [now with a different
spelling of dog] their home girls should also
watch out for. But I’ll give credit to the few
who were more interested in helping and place
the blame where it should be. It was the
jealousy and pettiness of some male partners who
caused things to eventually decline. So why
would I not believe envy and malice would be
more sacrosanct amongst men, since we are seeing
and hearing more of it politically today. But
even discovering what was going on, I still
wouldn’t believe within my own circle there
still would be a woman who would try to move in.
Only it was how she suggested it was her who
encouraged me, so her entitlement was being the
motivating force. Since most women can rarely
put aside their instincts to be in the forefront
besides maternal. I was constantly perused,
which almost caused me to mutate into someone
ruthless enough to bring out the other side of
my character that could have got me in trouble.
I always felt it should give men something to
think about, especially if women become so
self-absorbed they start to believe they are the
driving force that keeps them focused. It’s
understandable why men are being traumatized,
its karma setting and changing their lives. But
watching women rising to attack from all
directions to vilify the reputations of men, who
are sometimes innocent, makes me wonder about my
own future even at my age.
So since my
feelings about this are getting stronger, I hope
the true God won’t be as tough on me as I
continue. Unfortunately men are insistently
short-sighted. They usually go from one extreme
to the other, so it’s not unusual instant
gratification sets precedence. It’s the same way
mostly white men chose to play down the real
reasons for the clear disgrace of Jim Crow. One
period they were imprisoning, denying,
criticizing and sometimes hanging blacks for
trying to change their conditions. Decades later
they were carousing with blacks in the most
illogical ways. Instead of expressing some
civility even with reluctance, what has kept
racism solvent is a cross between their personal
interpretation of integrity towards people they
believe are inferior and their earnest belief
they will always be superior.
On the other
hand for women, I see a new more complex
conclusion. Besides that I also see more serious
consequences for some, since many young women
are becoming as callous, uncaring and unbearably
out of control as men, to suggest the latter
never existed in older women. But statistics
will show alcoholism, and drug use has caused
families and children to suffer, as the prison
population of women has also increased. Of
course the most cunning still find ways to beat
the odds by using the system, such as the
methods they use to weed out the most vulnerable
and successful men and then tally up their
bounty.
Maybe the
question from here is what makes me an
authority. First it’s life and secondly I can
assure them it’s not for the same reasons some
women often probe into the lives of men. It’s
not like the notion where a woman would suggest
she knows better than a man what it takes to be
one. If I should suggest the same regarding a
woman it would be sexists, since most would feel
I was putting them in roles I believe are
primarily for them. But even being a father, I
know there’s nothing so significant about me
that would make me believe I have the right to
tell my daughter how to be a woman. Yet mothers
will constantly remind their sons to be men,
although what could be needed are the same
concerns that often becomes over bearing in less
one on one family situations. So the reason I
can do this with less disparity, is because of
empathy for the least guilty and awareness of
those who are. There’s no failed affair to
encourage it, although I’ve had a couple. Most
important, I don’t blame all women for my
troubles or men in general. On the other hand
women will blame men with no forethought. Some
will knit together situations of their past and
use it as comparison to bring in other unhappy
women. Sadly the things I’ve known some to do
would probably get most men convicted. It’s how
they would do it and then blame it on some
deficiency. That’s why it’s not difficult to
believe this country functions with a subtle
degree of feminine sentiments. Do I agree with
how women are treated in other parts of the
world? Of course not, because the same double
standards are accessible to men to avoid
penalty. But this society should be far removed
from it, since that characteristic isn’t
imbedded in our religious philosophy. Oddly
things that should or would help to unify and
sensitize the need for relationships are usually
centered on the lives and circumstances of women
only, until the season arrives when it’s time
for men to go to [Jared].
Moving on,
since what’s written ahead will entail more
direct specifics and circumstances, I’ll give a
fair amount of consideration to black women. I
do this knowing white women have faced less of
the same things they have; besides the arrogance
of some is often the direct result of rarely
falling off their pedestal. At any rate other
than not being able to vote many years ago,
white women always had some latitude, even black
women who may deny their guardian has always
been white men had some flexibility. I always
felt if there were subtle conflicts about race
amongst black and white women, why it never
created a distance between them, instead of a
defining gap between black women and black men.
But I will say this quickly; black men may have
given up. Perhaps disbelieving of the
development of the conditions they were heading
into. Aside from that, many decline to ask why
things rarely work for him. For many the moment
of annoyance usually came after discovering the
most analytical of the establishment, was again
comparing him to what they see is improving
about black women. There’s one thing black men
could learn from her, learn to lend a hand to
other men as freely as women often do towards
each other. Furthermore question his reluctance,
since it’s often concealed within a
configuration of suspicion and speculation. So
in some situation it has caused men to harm
other men, although it was to offer help, few
realized they were still crossing the line. But
more significantly it has sadly damaged the
chances of black men who don’t possess such
mistrust to make sure their estrange children
[if they have them] not believe or be told
they’re dead or abandoned them. Most know how
important it is to avoid being stigmatized.
Generally these men with a positive outlook on
life are still looking for ways to make any
union happen without too many concessions. Since
any other decision made from what should be
normal could get them included with gents of the
down low.
I shouldn’t
need to repeat myself, but remembering what I
said earlier I should. As far back as I’m able
to remember a black man criticizing a black
woman; was a hater. I always felt it was strange
there was a repressed concern, when it came to
black children and men getting some verbal heat
from them. Many times both had to deal with what
I call the “kick the dog syndrome”. Although
these women generally can’t take the blame for
all that happens, but the most damaging is
causing an upstanding man to become someone with
numbers across their chest.
Setting
aside other men racially for a moment, I have a
need and reason to criticize the regular sermons
about black men from individuals like Bill
Cosby, although I respect his candor. He should
be thankful he’s survived the tyranny of women
and the system, which could have caused him to
be broke and a statistic. [Oops it almost
happened] Being allegedly well educated he
should be familiar when the worse started for
those he’s been critical of, to comprehend its
cause and effects. He should know there are
black men who try to avoid most of the social
pitfalls other’s may not see or be cognizant of.
He has to obviously know they decisively steer
clear of anything that would also get them
labeled as being typical, since he’s been part
of that group most of his life. On the other
hand he could become an enabler, since he keeps
black women believing they could be the redeemer
for what would be essentially better for blacks.
But that assumption is definitely amiss, because
he has also excluded black men. Maybe it should
be something he thinks about first, especially
if the piety of black women is required to
successfully go-forth. But even if women in
general thought it was necessary to reinvent
themselves and repent, believing they are better
to rule. It still would be uncertain, since the
past has a way of revealing many of the heinous
things men have done were either provoked by
women or in their name.
I could
quote many articles I’ve read of feminists, who
say the motivation of certain protagonists in
their circle is often more personal and
vindictive. This gives me a reason to wonder why
black women haven’t changed their thinking and
choose to follow their own path. In spite of the
gender of God, which I still question
reluctantly for now, God keeps better records.
So when the timely events of life begins to turn
the pages more rapidly sometimes before or as
some believe the cross roads in life. If they
live through what some may believe is midlife
crisis, menopause or just a change of life. It
could feel eternal as they ponder their past,
unable to change what they’re going through.
Often facing it alone the outcome can be
emotionally, physically and sometimes
devastating depressing.
Sometimes
the things we choose to connect ourselves too
are to satisfy our need for humor. But often
during our moments of indulging ourselves, we
miss seeing the reality of it. Women, who
complain about men’s lack of ambition, may not
realize it’s a mutual condition. I remember
watching a program on television called “Married
with Children”, which is one of many kinds of
programs that would prove my point. I knew why
my late wife didn’t like it, as she observed the
way our younger daughter’s eyes were fixed on
the screen. But I chose it to show they rarely
had an episode where there wasn’t something
sexual or negative directed towards each other.
Of course most of the innuendoes and put downs
got laughs. What got most of the laughs, was the
pivotal part of the program where the screaming
audience sometimes caused the actors to wait for
them to calm down enough so they could continue.
It was when the wife made fun of her husband.
Although it was her who never worked, cooked,
cleaned or showed she should be sharing in any
family responsibilities. She was usually seated
on the couch in front of the television,
ironically watching Oprah, sometimes eating
bonbons, meticulously dressed in spandex, as her
husband walked in from work. It seems to have
been her favorite time to ridicule him about his
job and salary. Although she really had no
reason to complain, it didn’t stop her from
laughing about the amount of his paycheck
selling shoes that she often stole from his
wallet, to buy clothes only for herself. Strange
but her frequent complaint was about his lack of
interest having sex with her and him not being
as good at it as she wanted him to be. They had
two children. The older of the two a girl was
missing a few screws and rarely used any
judgment choosing the kind of guys she got
involved with, knowing most of them usually
wanted sex. The boy who seemed to be smarter
than the entire family, was a schemer and was
also always in pursuit of sex also. I always saw
many forms of abuse in this scenario and the
most subtle is how their children mirrored the
character of their parents as they grew. What
was even stranger, the few friends they had
showed many of the same characteristics. So I
couldn’t pass this up, because I believe it to
be a likeness of individuals and families today.
The other reason was to make you wonder why the
series never had a final show. How would the
writers have ended it on a positive note or was
there a message in the final decision?
Ridiculous Observation
When what
[I’ll call] a special elite group of black women
felt the dialogue within the hip hop community
was directed at them, they suddenly had a need
to confront it. Although most were upscale and
distant from it, few were capable of looking
beyond it being personal, to accept it to be a
genre of entertainment that really had no
significance to their lives. It’s the same way
whites chose to minimize the disco craze, mainly
because black men were becoming increasingly
involved in that industry. [Never thought that
was the reason huh?] So these women were no
better than the system that assess the
entrepreneurial workings of black men, and then
tally up reasons to bring them down or take
over. Nevertheless further public complaints
caused it to become news worthy. So shortly
afterwards there came criticism and analytical
dialogue from the media, where some probably
shook their heads, when they saw them using the
elder Rosa Parks to give it some legitimacy.
From here I
thought I would tone down my feelings about the
vagina and the penis, but certain
state-of–affairs lying before you have made me
cling to it for a while. They will show how some
women are skillfully finding new methods to
obtain money from men, [who often know nothing
about their existence.
Specifics
In an
article “Child Support Gold Diggers” written by
Carey Roberts a staff reporter for the media
alliance dated April 5th 2006. The
article tells how “That’s Life” magazine polled
some 5,000 women to find out what percentage
would lie to get pregnant. 42 percent of that
group said they would. Since each year
approximately 4 million babies are born in the
United States, it was determined that 80,000non
biological men become victims of paternity
fraud, Just by using the midrange figure. Other
situations that often involve predominately
black women, is seen on television shows like
Maury Povich. These women also make claims
against men, but soon find out who’s the most
astute in the game. Most results showed no
improvements for the children, whose futures
were already in limbo. So they not only
increased the ranks of black single mothers,
they also added to the 50 plus percent of black
children that are now in those single settings.
Unfortunately these are women were more
susceptible to aids, poverty and abuse on them
and their children. So “my child”, as most
insists became more of a fact, as evidence was
brought forth from DNA that revealed few of
these women, really knew who the father of their
children was. So should “mama’s baby, daddy’s
maybe” just be a catchphrase for laughs? Of
course harden feminists don’t support any of
this anyway, although I have no doubt they are a
fraction of the reason it continues. But their
lack of awareness about this is like a police
commissioner knowing which of his officers would
cross the line. But I’m sure most partake in
those situations because of that link. Finally
if things work in behalf of the woman where the
father is discovered, he’s automatically
ridiculed, as the woman’s guilt is played-down.
Many times, the woman is seen screaming as she
points finger and blame. But since few have ever
complained they were raped, we can assume most
were consensual. Anyway should it be an
automatic decree for public humiliation or
future punishment as many men are known to face
in the domestic courts?
I read some
time ago where a black woman was upset hearing
someone white say black women were loud, sassy
and out of control sometimes. [I said sometimes]
I wonder where she’s been most of the life and
why she’s offended unless it was directed at her
personally. As I said somewhere in this article,
it seems to be more acceptable for allegedly
overburden black women to complain about men and
children, then accepting they are also flawed.
Of course it’s not all of them who function with
apathy, but that demeanor was coin by black
women long time ago; to where it’s become a
comical way to even mock themselves. But to be
fair, although white women may not be as
boisterous sometimes. They often extend
themselves to be the savior of women in other
parts of the world. Yet the example they often
bring to light, is to show if a man shows he has
anything that would benefit them, they will find
a way to extort it. Other than women in certain
parts of the world who are unfortunately forced
to yield because of the conditions regarding
religious customs and beliefs, I wonder if any
ever wondered why women in places where that
don’t exist are also dealing with some form of
inequality. Furthermore events of historic
proportions have shown many have worn cloak
holding crucifix to confirm they were God
fearing religious helpers, but under the
garments reveled they would eventually shed
their gear to move in on the lives and culture
of people. What keeps them from being cognizant
of this behavior is the subtle way they suggest
when you’re involved with them your situation
changes instantly for the better, even if in
normal situations it could be true. What usually
allows many to thrive is the way they use their
right of privilege to set new legal precedence
for laws that work in their favor, since it’s
usually an assertion sponsored by a special
interest group or just for women. So regardless
if there’s a real difference between feminists
fighting allegedly for women’s rights or blacks
fighting for civil rights, they still use
Affirmative Action as a way to challenge the
courts. But any [Action] relating to them have
always been [Affirmative]. Furthermore, the most
calculating are often the most foolhardy yet
manipulative on the planet.
I’m happy to
say from this point God is probably allowing me
to continue since I haven’t lied. But I still
have to be careful not to suggest God gives
favor because of gender, so I’ll continue.
Organizations that’s set up to protect women,
usually offer some help for children, but in
most cases none for men, yet men are known to be
foremost in the advocacy of governing the
conditions regarding domestic violence.
Unfortunately these organizations rarely if ever
use a portion of taxpayer’s money to expose how
many cases of claimed abuse were inflated. So
since I’m now looking at this more thoroughly, a
study in 1997 may reveal something that may
often go unnoticed or minimized.
A Study
This dated
May 4th 1997, “Assaults by women on
their spouses or male partners”, conducted by
Martin Fiebert of California State University at
Long Beach. He and his associates discovered
after reviewing and investigating numerous
situations from many areas over a period of
time. Women were the most likely to strike
first. Why do I believe this is important?
Regardless if it wasn’t her intention, knowing
the results could end up not being in either’s
favor, it shouldn’t allow her to assert any
reason to not be as guilty. Shouldn’t the guy
driving the getaway car, be as guilty as his
partners inside robbing the bank?
Domestic
Sadism
In an
article ”California Domestic Violence Lawsuit”,
written by Marc Angelucci of the National
Coalition of Free Men and Glen Sacks commentator
and nationally known radio host. It shows how
real issues of abuse, often fall on deaf ears.
Maegan Woods age 11, tired to stop domestic
disputes between her parents, only to find
herself looking down the barrel of her father’s
shotgun one day. She was abused and witnessed
violence in her home most of her childhood. By
the age of 7, there were knife attacks, punches,
kicks and more. It was difficult for the person
who was being abused. Besides being disabled,
the abuser was the one who earned the money. The
request for help was refused. Why? The obvious
reason, the person who was being abused was the
father and the battered child abuse was also
perpetrated by the same person. It would be
plagiarism for me to continue, since it would
also be difficult to add my own thoughts. But
the reason this is important, is because abuse
creates no alarm unless it’s claimed by women,
which in numerous legal situations was never
proven to be true.
Although
I’ve been as critical of men as women, some
women may still feel most of it was directed at
them, so I must be bitter. If I would open up
some means of communications, it would assure
the argument wouldn’t end here. But in my own
defense, most conversations I’ve had with women
who wanted to talk or rather chose to complain
about their relationships. Few could tell me why
it was difficult to put what they thought was
the worst part of their mates aside. In fact
some were still dealing with old demons and
angry enough to act out in revenge. But nowhere
in any Holy Book, would it say woman or man had
the right of retribution. Besides, wouldn’t it
be counterproductive? The rules are explicit and
the failure to follow any has begun to show the
results of mistrust leading to depression. Every
day we read and hear about people afraid
something could happen to them, as they cringe
hearing people being murdered, children
abducted, as others are still trying to recover
from situations of Mother Nature, asserting lord
why me. Politicians who’s suppose to create
better things for the country, believe without
effort they can correct the worse through laws,
as other’s who perform on the fringe of
hypocrisy put the blame on someone else, just
before saying we still need morality and prayer.
But praying or laws can’t change any of it,
because any chance of getting God’s help has
been canceled-out because of how most think and
act consistently. The contempt and constant
bickering between men and women have never
proved whose the most creditable, who should be
in power or the godliest. What it has shown, is
how both have failed to coexist to appreciate
what’s unique about them. On both sides, some
spend their lives complaining about others and
how they have been wronged from birth. Somehow
expecting parents or those allegedly guilty to
suddenly walk up one day and apologize. Since it
rarely happens, their resentment almost becomes
a disease that infects their minds, as they try
to bring in more people to confirm it. But few
may understand the only concern other’s may
convey, is hoping they don’t revert any of it on
them, especially if there was some minor
disagreement they had in the past.
I believe
I’ve given the best I could so far and that is
truth. Clearly it doesn’t matter what gender God
is, it won’t change how God deals with all human
behavior, unless those driven for personal
reasons start to show some empathy for others.
But I’ll say this with bias yet humility. When
“Hi dad”, starts to mean as much as “Hi mom”,
maybe it will finally show love and respect has
no preference to gender, especially in a country
where we hear the latter most of the time.
But now I
want to return to black women, since many get in
the middle of situations of women simply because
they’re women. Unfortunately they may not
believe they are more susceptible to being used,
as the white population has been and still are
being used by religious deadbeats, slanted
bigoted rhetoric and white politicians who are
leading them down the slippery slope to their
end. But since black women again are more often
in the forefront than black men, they should
always evaluate the benefits or it may continue
making the lives of the troops [black men and
children] problematic. Reiterating they often
insist they often has difficulties with both.
But more clearly, since they usually claim they
were forced into that responsibility long ago,
accepting many have failed could make a
difference for the future. Is it truth or lie?
This is the
double edge sword. Most people regardless of
race believe they are familiar with the state of
affairs of black men, although most really know
little or maybe not caring about the reasons.
But it’s simple as showing how removing of the
head the body will die, which have had some
obvious consistency for the condition of a
percentage of blacks in general. What should
enlighten most is learning how it started during
the period of their progress after slavery.
There may have been little or no reason for
black women to eventually be brought to the
forefront, but generally they had more
opportunities for that to happen. The transition
was simple, because it was white men who only
saw woman not her blackness. That’s why I’ll
always believe racism in this country was and
still is intensely directed towards the black
male not the female. She may have experienced
some; it gave her the opportunity to exploit her
feminine prowess and resilience to survive.
Those strong points were what really allowed
Rosa Parks to make history, since it really
wasn’t a protest. So with subdued and sometimes
daunting fervor, black women ended up becoming
the head of the master’s household. If there
were no obligatory reason, some even had
socially forbidden relationships, cooked the
master’s food and raised their children. So in
many ways she had become the other woman even
though most were still attached to some
structure of their family. With her learning to
apply logic and sensitivity when needed helped
many to avoid situations their men were unable
to escape.
Moving
briefly to domestic courts where most advocacy
stand-ins go to convince the courts that women
are better for, or with children. Looking at
statistics of women in the last 5 years, who
murdered, neglected or allowed their children to
be abused. I would think this notion would have
better merit if all conditions were brought
forth. Most women get fewer penalties, probably
asserting it was ESP [Exclaiming Self Pity] that
was more like PMS [Post Malice Syndrome]. Funny,
of course not but female disorders are often
used to reduce the guilt in situations where
they should face some penalty. When children are
mistreated sometimes in homes of single women,
it’s usually their carelessness bringing the
wrong men into their lives.
Debatable
or Distorted
In a crusade
that was most likely promoted out of the
feminine camp called the, “stop it now
campaign”. A billboard showed a man/father
holding the hand of what could be assume to be
his daughter. The most frightening part of this
publicity is the caption that’s printed across
it. [”It doesn’t feel right when I see them
together”] In no way does it weed out or prevent
children from being sexually abused. What it
does is set up all men to be potentially
dangerous. But I wonder if that ad was posted in
the state of Georgia, where a woman was arrested
and convicted for pimping her goddaughter and
her friend for 40 dollars. When men are allowed
to be in the lives of their children [with
emphasis on allowed] they have shown to be just
as caring as women. In fact many successful men
and women owe their success, more so to the
father than the mother. But hypocrisy is still
alive and well and men are usually behind it.
When law enforcement use undercover female
officers to entrap men soliciting prostitutes,
the seriousness related to their efforts, seems
to be as important as catching someone whose the
head of a big drug cartel. But since few men
rarely use caution in their attempt to win over
the vagina, when they get caught they are
sometimes publicly humiliated, even in community
newspapers. Many have complained they were also
harassed by male officers, who I feel should
realize they are also susceptible to the same.
But shortly after prostitutes are escorted to
court, they are usually fined and let back out
on the street to most likely continue business.
Question; why should a woman selling sex, be
less guilty than a man trying to buy it?
Many
television programs today portray men to be
village idiots. Unfortunately men will laugh at
them, not realizing commercials are reflections
of real time thoughts and practices. Such as a
commercial showing young men who look like pigs
talking to sexy alluring young women in a
nightclub. Only after one of the pigs goes to
the vending machine to buy a condom, does he
suddenly change into a guy. Somehow it was to
show all men are pigs, if they approach women
for sex without a condom. I wondered what animal
they would use to describe the women, who seemed
to be willing to give it up freely? Of course it
would be easy to believe I was over reacting,
maybe I would agree if I wasn’t wise enough to
understand the underline meaning.
Situation
November
2002, a protest was launched against Verizon
about a commercial that showed a father trying
to help his daughter with her homework. When his
wife walked in his daughter told him to forget
it, “go wash the dog”. Of all the things he
could have done, why it should be washing the
dog. It was to show his level of importance and
intelligence. In a non commercial situation,
tee shirts were sold with words across the
front, “Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them”.
Since it sounds like they were primarily for
girls, were it a joke or do it have some other
intent. Of course I could continue showing
similar situations, but I hope the independent
thinker male or female would see how feminists
are trying to damage the relationship even
between boys and girls, just to move their
agenda forward.
I must say
again, men of many cultures throughout the world
prefer to keep women in their so-called place.
But even facing certain limitations for hundreds
of years, it hasn’t stopped her from exhibiting
some form of pre-eminence. Not that she’s able
to rule, but her ability to be ultimately
pardoned for all and any transgression, even
murder in some situations. [Most should remember
the woman who killed her husband with a shotgun
while he slept, only to be exonerated later,
since she said he had done some heartless things
to her over the years. Oddly there was no way
they could have proved it to be true. So it
shows how some women will even take the chance
of consequence, as a way to calculate and
forecast their future.
Since I
believe few men really think sincerely about
their future, I’ll probably make an unfavorable
statement to say it’s because more are
interested in sports data, beer, guns, cars and
the conquest of many vaginas they can get. Of
course I don’t avoid questioning my own
perception or vulnerability. But adding to this,
I realized most are blind to their mate’s
recurring moments of objectivity. [It’s that
test I was talking about] It’s the period when
women are secretly contemplating other
circumstances they feel are better. It’s that
period when he hears fewer complaints, yet
missed hearing different concerns. Women may
have little knowledge where it’s going to take
them leaving, it’s often matters not if they
feel they’re getting nothing from the
relationship they’re in. So from that point her
plans are still to move on, even if children are
included. On the other hand if a man has similar
thoughts he can rarely conceal it, since it’s
usually about an affair in many situations,
nothing more. So the reason for his sudden
posture is often discovered, because he looked
earlier for no way to weigh what can often leave
him vulnerable and near homelessness sometimes.
Infidelity is the get out of jail card for
women, since it’s often the reason women leave
men financially sometimes bankrupted and
emotionally traumatized for life. Some will even
admit it is something they generally expect to
happen to all women. Many say it’s soon after
children are present. Of course the cleverest
don’t care, they are patient and will sometimes
hang around for years regardless, as a way to
prepare her for the future. It would be great to
show the positive things men and women are
capable of, knowing there are many things both
have done and still can do that’s admirable.
Regardless what race, men and women are becoming
less loving and tolerant of each other. It’s the
same for what’s causing the decline of this
nation. Since there is no desire for tolerance,
each person’s decision to live with subtle and
pretentious limits, have allow most to believe
it’s necessary to protect their space. Question;
what space? So that internal conflict adding
their narcissistic character, is what’s causing
lives and the foundation of this country to
weaken and it’s continuing as I write this.
Anyway, the
choices that allowed greed and the quest for
instant gratification to take possession of
lives that damage the focus of purpose and
creativity of people especially blacks. Is only
to believe some may feel it’s a way of
assimilation or to gain some equity. But it
being the focal point of many things gone awry
within the black community, shows it was never a
good choice. Maybe getting a fix on long
standing problems before hand should have been
more crucial, than the upscale lives that may
have cause some to lean in that direction.
Unfortunately “doing your own thing”, wasn’t
enough of a justification for trying, since that
idea seem to have also become a philosophy for
black youth, instead of an inspiration. Oddly
since a great percentage of blacks conceded to
believe they have no place else to go to
reconnect their lives, they shouldn’t get
involved in situations that keep us broken and
cause other blacks to be victimized in the only
place they believe they can connect too. It’s
their responsibility to not allow their
frustrations to add to the troubles already at
hand, choosing deceit as a better way to gather
foreseeable riches at the end of a fading
rainbow. Although blacks aren’t the only
so-called minority who should face some
reprimand for their misdeeds. I chose not to
include others; since I’ve learned from past
experiences some are often in agreement with the
status quo, for reasons to avoid controversy or
scrutiny. But I’ll end this segment with a fair
and equal evaluation of both men and women.
Again it’s not unusual to hear black women
grumble about their lives, needs or troubles;
although many have built-in retorts that have
made it difficult to break through to examine
the validity of their gripes. So I feel it has
always been a diversion that redirects the
attention away from what some were planning or
already doing. But regardless of a woman’s
supposed righteousness or a better word
godliness, which may have subconsciously allowed
many to avoid penalty for transgressions, there
is one imperfection that exists in all women.
It’s the inability to birth someone who’s
perfect as many suggest they would be. On the
other hand white women may believe they have
certain entitlements, because they have a right
to choose until they are satisfied. In general
their future still depends on the behavior and
permanence of white men, who are now facing a
quandary of inflexible human growth as other
whites begin to question their own entitlement.
Even today with some exhibiting subtle forms of
bigotry as a way to return to almost similar
conditions of the past, has had minimum effect
on people who choose to be uncommitted to follow
over forecasting their own future. As far as
black men, in most cases I believe the vagina
[figuratively] will continue ruling over the
penis until they allow unity to become the
driving force to change it. Those men, who have
dealt with some of the worse in and out of the
system, must inform other men to how it could
limit their chances also. They must enlighten
themselves to show how they and others may have
lost the confidence that would have provided a
sense of loyalty to bring success amongst them.
Maybe this
quote from Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop the
authors of Can’t live with’ Em, Can’t live
without ‘Em, is clearer. A man who doesn’t have
at least one other man he can be accountable
regarding his failures, hurts and temptations is
a prime target for masculine anger. But here is
something to ponder; persons, who became
initiates or forced to be as some may declare,
are sometimes too recognizable to be removed.
Finally
should men evaluate the circumstances of their
fathers before criticism? With most rarely
wondering why that relationship failed, few
would believe their role of responsibility to
their children could or would be problematic as
their fathers. On the other hand even if there
were some degree of abuse or neglect, the mother
will usually and always receive some amount of
emotional concessions from her children. But the
competence needed for men to perform and benefit
those he’s responsible for, usually depends on
environment, which often determines economic
stability also. With both conditions helping to
create a personal since of security, most do
better in their relationships. In many other
countries where men are seen only as providers,
they are only expected to make available
resources and also protect family members who
benefit from it. Only in this country are men
expected to share many roles and also be mates,
which have frequently shown to fall short of
that expectation. So it’s not peculiar to see
that the true meaning of mate have met a
stalemate, since we live in a culture where
couples participate in circumstances that often
don’t include the other. Furthermore it has
become the prerequisite of American women to
have lives that are separate, even if children
are present. If what I’m saying is believable,
does it removed the significance of fatherhood?
Are men beginning to be perceived to be no
better than the male animal whose life is
usually solitary until mating time of the
female? Are we really forcing ourselves to
believe we’re emotionally attracted to each
other, although most end up physical? If love is
supposed to be everlasting, why are most affairs
short lived and stacked with resentment? To play
the devil’s advocate, why does the male stand to
receive most of the ill feelings in most of
those relationships? In many unstable situations
between boys and their fathers, it’s the lack of
a one on one bonding that’s often claimed, over
most other things that would be expected. So why
are the most noteworthy between fathers and
daughters? Is it because fathers relate to their
daughters as he would to his mate and only see
sons as competitors, although both could be his
underlings? Looking at certain situations in
general there could be some truth to it, since
men are usually reluctant to share; besides
combat seems effortless for the slightest
reasons. So we’ve learned to accept a more
positive outcome between mothers and sons. Is it
her ability to uphold emotions, even if there
was some reason to discipline? This could be
true, but the argument especially amongst
blacks, is mothers have shown they can’t raise
sons to be successful fathers, so does this also
contribute too many failed son and father black
relationships? But on a wider spectrum, which
seems to be racially based, even when black
fathers are the reasons for their children’s
success, there comes a jolt of dissention in
some strange way trying to take it away.
Although I knew very little about my own father
for reasons I’ve yet to question. But even if
things were different and I still had some
feelings of his inability to partner a
relationship, it would be impossible for me to
be different in a so-called better way, unless I
was able to acquire the things that would
socially put me in a position to service all
aspects of responsibility to myself for my
children. On the other hand women don’t have to
unless they choose to do it, since most have a
broader spectrum of men to choose from to lift
them up or determine their future. Unfortunately
the downside of this is those with children who
have chosen to go it alone or in some situations
get little or no help has left them stressed to
provide their needs. Ironically there’s still a
quandary for most men. If circumstances such as
the death of his spouse suddenly obligate him to
raise his child or children alone, trying to do
it is sometimes met with some criticism.
Although the most understandable difficulty he
could have trying to get a son to obey the
rules, suddenly being in a single parent male
situation, it could be more complex for him if
the child is a girl. Since most men will have
limited options in this area, sometimes marrying
is second thought to help level his playing
field. But many are still reluctant because
societal idioms sometimes identify him to be
less of a father over a predator. The fear is
they could end up in dire circumstances, since
the rhetoric regarding his relationship or
expertise to parent her is often slanted and
sometimes indicting. So the complaints about
fathers and their lack of parenting that
sometimes damage relationships with their
children continues, yet few would admit many of
the other things that also contribute to it. But
living in a world where the only thing we can be
sure of is not being here forever, we all should
be accountable for the things we should be doing
to help those who need our help. We can question
if there’s a place after our end, but no one has
been able to disprove it to be so, so we must
not take the chance of disbelieving if we’re to
be judged by something or someone who have the
power of significant penalty.
Article
by T. Duffy
Former lead
columnists……. Afromerica.com
Published
article, “In Search Of Fatherhood,” magazine, “A
Man’s Dilemma,” Volume 5, No. 4, 2003
Contributing
writer, “Afromerica,” the book. Published 2005.
Compiled by CR Hamilton.
Recent work,
“The Projects,” published by Publish America
2009.
Information and References
That’s Life
magazine, “Child Support Gold diggers”, April 5th
2006; Carey Roberts, California domestic
violence lawsuit, December 28th
2005. Marc Angelucci, National Coalition of
Free Men and Glen Sacks, KABC radio.
Assaults By
Women On Their SpousesOr Male Partners, May 4th
1997; Psychologists Martin Fiebert and
Associates; California State University at Long
Beach (Article not including information or
references rewritten 2010). Original article,
“Could God Be A Woman.”
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