Turn YOUR Light On
I believe we are born with a brilliant internal
light that resides in our very best self. Have you
ever noticed the most aloof people will soften when
a baby is in the room? Babies are easily themselves.
They ask for what they want and expect to receive
it. As babies grow their light may diminish from
criticism, neglect or denial of their internal good.
Your light is the person you were sent here to be
before fear and worry became your first reaction.
The light is your essence when you are not
pretending to be what others want or think you
should be. As adults we can turn the light up when
we learn to stand for ourselves and authentically
live our purpose. Turning on the internal light is
as easy as flicking the switch on the wall. It
merely requires:
Awareness
– what do you really want and why? Is it for
good? How accepting are you of yourself? Who do you
have in your life and are they supportive of you?
Everything you need or want to know lies within
you.
Compassion
- have you taken an honest look at your life and
defined your responsibility to secure your needs?
Compassion for yourself and others creates an
undeniable light and energy.
Courage
– what pay off do you receive for being less
than widely successful? What do you believe you
deserve? You have all the power you need to
succeed.
Peace
– are you seeker of peace? Do you sense
everything is as it needs to be? I read recently
peace is not the absence of noise, trouble or hard
work; rather peace means you can be in the midst of
those things and still be calm in your heart.
You can turn on your light; it’s your life and your
choice. Deborah
Stuff Happens
“Listen,” I told a young client who is often unhappy
with the state of affairs in her life, “Stuff
happens in life.” We get beat up emotionally, abused
verbally, suffer through jobs that don’t suit us and
argue with people we love. The secret is to choose
our response to the stuff that comes our way rather
than allow an automatic reaction to take place. As
human beings, choosing involves selecting from a
range of options. An automatic reaction occurs when
there are unresolved conditions from our past.
Choosing is essential to freedom and is accomplished
with awareness.
Which serves you better, peace or resentment?
Haven’t you heard people say they have a right to be
resentful of the people who did bad things to them?
But have you noticed how unhappy they seem to be?
Peace is health, wholeness and awareness:
-
You do not have to take on someone else’s issue
as your own. (A boss verbally attacks your idea
with unwarranted aggressiveness.)
-
We all make mistakes; forgiveness is in order
for peaceful living. (Someone you love and who
loves you acts out of step with love and more in
fear.)
-
All situations appear different without anger or
resentments. (Anger towards a neighbor whose
party was too loud inflames all subsequent
interactions. However without anger the next
encounter is a civil and often pleasant
exchange).
The stuff of life demands we become aware of our
response to ensure we grow stronger and more
peaceful. When stuff happens, it’s your choice
because it’s your life. Deborah
Is Money a Motivating Force?
Lack of money can be a motivating force to get some.
Lots of money can be a motivating force to keep it
coming. Lack of or excess of money are the by
products of our deepest and earliest beliefs. My
earliest belief was there is never enough money to
take care of all my needs. Today I experience money
as limitless. How much I have is in direct
proportion to how much I believe I can have.
Begin to understand your relationship with money by
examining your thoughts:
-
What are your first
memories about money?
Did you hear your parents argue about money? Did
you see someone fretting about paying bills
versus feeding the family? Did you see people
appreciate the experiences money could provide?
-
What stories do you
tell yourself and others about money? What favorite phrase do you
use when people are talking about money – do you
say “I can’t keep money in my pocket”; or “When
I get money it ain’t never enough”; or “Money
comes easily to everyone else”? If you aren’t
sure what you say, ask others around you. They
will be able to quote you word for word.
-
How do you feel
about money?
Is it a necessary evil in your life? Do you have
a love/hate relationship with it? Is money a
form of freedom in your life? Are your feelings
related in any way to your early memories?
-
How do you want
to feel about money?
Rewrite your script to reflect only what you
want. Rephrase sentences that have any negative
words such as - no, don’t, or can’t.
Understanding where your beliefs about money stem
from gives you the freedom to shift your thinking to
ways that support your current desires. You examine
the past to help you lay down the beliefs that do
not serve you well. That opens up space for you to
pick up new ideas for a financial journey of your
choosing. Money is a like any other relationship; it
comes when it is invited and stays when it is
appreciated.
It’s your Life and your Choice, Deborah
What We Need
It’s February and folks around me are buzzing about
romance. So here I am sharing insights with Black
Men in America and the strong sisters who need you.
-
We need you to listen to us with no fear of
retaliation.
-
We need you to hold on to us providing a safe
haven in your arms.
-
We need to laugh with you over the silliness
that shows up in the world that we each
encounter.
-
We need you to be fathers to your children.
-
We need to hear you refer to us with kind words.
Women have bad days when we aren’t nice to our
brothers. Can you see beyond our nonsense to the
heart that is begging for unconditional love? Look
into our eyes – see the pain that requires healing.
I’m not suggesting you can heal us – that’s the work
we have to do. I am suggesting you be the “medicine
man of the twenty-first century” giving us a new
perspective to ponder – your deepest thoughts and
feelings.
And who will help you with your numerous bad days?
Why the strong powerful sister you cared for
yesterday because love is reciprocal.
Dear readers as you decide whether or not to share
yourself remember it’s your life and your choice.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
Deborah
Saluting the Divine in You
I’m old enough to be tired of
establishing New Year resolutions; yet still young
enough to have a desire to show up as a better
person in this world. I am grateful to my clients
for many reasons, the primary being they are mirrors
in my life. When I explained to a client recently we
are each responsible for our own actions it reminded
me to find my own way to becoming a better human
being. A quick prayer for guidance and the answer
arrived.
There is an ancient Buddhist
practice to greet every person you see with a
thought “I see the divine in you.” I was ready for
the challenge and share with you my diary entries
for the first three days of seeing the divine in
people all around Chicago, Illinois.
Day One:
I don’t know what to expect. It
was harder than I thought to remember to tell
everyone. Other meaningless thoughts would creep up.
How do I handle crowds of people? I don’t feel any
different. Why did I think this was a good idea?
Day Two:
I tried it again. This isn’t a
chore; it’s a decision to connect with people on a
deeper level. It’s my way of smiling soul to soul.
You can’t judge people when you are sending them a
truly loving thought. I saw a young woman with
purple hair this morning. My normal reaction would
be to make a face and judge why in the world would
anyone want such a harsh hair color. Saluting the
divine in her caused me to remember a time when my
hair dresser made a mistake with my own hair color.
I was still the same person internally, no matter
what I looked like on the outside. Isn’t the
character of a person more important than what we
see on the outside?
Day Three:
People in this very large city
are looking up and smiling at me. I’m sure they
don’t know why. But I do - emitting love into the
air counteracts fear and loneliness - it is an
undeniable energy. I started the workday with a
calmer disposition. Minor annoyances fell away
easily instead of gelling into a giant headache. I
feel joy!
