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FIRESTORM
BY MIKE
RAMEY
It has been a most interesting spring of
2011 on the issue of homosexuality.
Less than 48 hours after former NY Giants
wide receiver David Tyree’s comments against gay
marriage and homosexuality ‘lit up’ the viral universe,
the Associated Press reported that the United
Nations--for the first time in its history--fielded a
resolution firmly supporting the gay agenda. This
coming through its Human Rights Council during a June,
2011 meeting in Geneva. According to the AP, supporters
included the U.S., the European Union, Brazil and other
Latin American countries.
Many in the mainstream media laughed over
Tyree’s comments which came our four square against the
gay agenda. Tyree noted that the homosexual
agenda--which includes men marrying men and women
marrying women AND adopting children--would lead to
anarchy. His opponents are amazed as to how prophetic
his comments were.
By the way, many African nations who were
represented on the council voted against the measure,
citing that such support of the gay agenda by the U.N.
would not win much support in the motherland. Others on
the Human Rights Council who didn’t support the
resolution were Russia, Saudi Arabia, Nigeria and
Pakistan.
This resolution--if I might add--is not
going to go over well with the American majority, once
the news gets out. It will likely renew calls for the
U.N. to move its headquarters out of the USA and over to
Geneva. It will also make firm up the battle lines on
the gay agenda in general and homosexuality in
particular.
Hang on…because it’s about to get hotter
than July!
TAKING THE
HEAT:
In case you doubt my stand on the matter,
let me make it clear. Homosexuality and lesbianism are
wrong; they are an example of arrogance against God’s
Word and God’s church, and I can not support them--in
any way, shape, or form. My stand is not a ‘stunt’. I
won’t recant, and I won’t change my mind. God calls
homosexuality a sin, and I agree with God. Let the
catcalls begin.
One of Tyree’s comments, in his interview
with the National Organization for Marriage also needs
repeating: “I don’t believe that the truth is
subjective.” The problem these days is that men and
women, boys and girls are spending far too much time
trying to call ‘right’ wrong, and ‘wrong’ right,
becoming fuzzy in their thinking on moral absolutes.
GAY AGENDA
GETTING MORE EXPOSURE:
This is not the first rodeo involving the
gay agenda and OUR struggle.
For those of us who remember our history,
shortly after the Civil Rights movement made the
progress of African Americans a reality in the USA,
other groups attempted to ‘latch on’ to our success in
winning freedoms that were LONG due our people. Chief
among these groups were the feminist, the environmental,
and homosexual lobbies. These three groups--primarily
liberal and unashamedly of the majority culture--copied
the movement’s tactics and corrupted the message so
quickly and completely that many in our country--to this
day--believe that all four are linked together.
Balderdash!
Make no mistake. The gay agenda IS an
agenda; a systematic means of less than one percent of
the U.S. population (which is quite wealthy) trying to
drive the morality of society by impact, influence and
intimidation. (Interestingly enough, these are the same
tactics that are used by members of many Modern Street
Gangs across our country. Unfortunately--for those in
the gay agenda ranks--MANY gang members are ‘anti-gay’
and are ‘pro-family’…but I digress.)
Think that you won’t have to face this
firestorm? I cite a prominent gay columnist: Daniel
Villarreal, in his observations on the indoctrination
factor. His recent comments were quoted by
LifeSiteNews.com: “I and a lot of other people,”
Villarreal said, “want to indoctrinate, recruit, teach,
and expose children to queer sexuality AND THERE’S
NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.”
TYREE NOT
ALONE IN THE FIRESTORM:
About a decade or so ago, famed Green Bay
Packer Reggie White took a stand against homosexuality,
both in print and on television. White, who was also a
Christian and a minister, made it clear that homosexuals
and lesbians are bound by their sin…and could find
release through Jesus Christ IF they wanted to find such
release. White was also sincere in his comments, faced
public heat over them, and lost a lot for his stand.
He may be gone now; nevertheless, he STOOD
back THEN!
Others are also standing, though we might
not see their contributions. Again, according to the
AP, of those from the motherland who stood against the
resolution, Nigeria was in the LEAD. Such a resolution
was against the wishes of most Africans.
Furthermore, a diplomat from Mauritania, out
of northwest Africa, called the resolution: "…an attempt
to replace the natural rights of a human being with an
unnatural right…".
Now that the gay rights agenda is on a
worldwide stage thanks to the U.N., compromise is not an
option. A firestorm is coming to those who stand firm
for God’s truth. Maybe, THIS is the wakeup call that
many compromisers needed to effectively take a stand for
right, or eventually perish with the wrong.
Let me wrap up this month’s commentary with
a bold reminder from Sir Winston Churchill. As you may
recall, Churchill was popular during the times that
uncertainty gripped the British Empire during World War
II, but was rejected when the Empire was at peace, full,
fat and happy. In the words of Sir Winston: “Never
compromise; Never, Never, NEVER compromise!”
I do believe I see a firestorm on the
horizon.
RAMEY, a
syndicated columnist and book reviewer, lives in
Indianapolis, Indiana. THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES appears on
fine websites and gracious blogs around the world. To
correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2011 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
The
Courage To Say No!
BY MIKE
RAMEY
There comes a time when a man takes an
unpopular stand, regardless of how some may ‘feel’ about
the issue at hand. After all, REAL manhood is not based
upon ‘going along to get along’, but being honest and
forthright in times when taking a dive--or a bribe--may
be socially acceptable and even politically correct. (I
hasten to add that OUR fathers and grandfathers had such
qualities in abundance--especially during the times when
a bullet or rope was awaiting their stand.)
Let me clarify something here. It is NOT
right to say NO to GOOD things! Too many in our society
today--male and female--have been saying NO to
continuing their educations; NO to getting married
BEFORE having kids, NO to staying crime free, and NO to
becoming producers instead of consumers. THEN they
‘expect’ society to ‘kick in’ with a pat on the head,
money and sympathy to co-sign on their ignorance.
Balderdash!
Unpopular as a negative decision may be, it
serves notice upon one party that they need to get their
act together, or forever wind up as a statistic.
WHERE
CHURCHES GO WRONG:
A few months back, I happened to read about
a few churches around the country that have actually
helped to pay for relocating gang members from their
current communities in order to ‘shield’ them from the
whirlwind of their criminal acts.
Let’s take this from the top. Gang
membership is a voluntary choice. It is not mandated by
law. There is no social mandate for young people to get
into a gang. Young men are not 'segregated' into gang
membership because of the color or their skin. Gang
members join for the power, money, and greed. Before
they got into their current round of drama, the church
was the last place they were thinking about--no matter
how many times they AND their families were warned from
the Bible.
These individuals were living it up in grand
style.
Until.
Until the gang member's family has been
threatened. Until someone gets hurt. Until someone gets
killed. Until someone is facing juvie, jail, or prison
time with the tag of being a gang member. Until the
police show up at 2 am at Mr. or Miss Gang Members home
with a warrant for their arrest. All of a sudden being
'good' and getting 'out' of gang life is sounding
reallllly good.
And they expect the church to sign off on
their foolishness.
Pastors…just say NO!
NOT THAT
LONG AGO:
Back in the day, when a family member was
'hot'; when they were in trouble with the law, they
would send that family member out of town--quietly--to
stay with relatives in another city. There were no
'church interventions'. It happened much the way that it
did on the old 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' show: The
family member was packed up and shipped out.
When the 'heat' was off...they were sent
back home.
I've had it done in my family in my ‘Before
Christ’ days and I know that many have done in their
families. Say AMEN somebody!
The central job of the church is not
relocation--but resurrection! There is a clearly defined
list of what the church is supposed to do in the
Scriptures, starting with the evangelism, obedience and
leadership roles. The church is not meant to usurp the
role of the parent, nor the role of the family…even IF
those individuals or families may be prominent members
OF a particular church.
Water is wet; and jail time goes along with
hard crime!
Advising individuals and families when
trouble comes: YES! Paying bail and setting up known
criminals with bus tickets and housing vouchers as a
part of relocation? NOT a good witness of the church,
and NOT a good, biblical use of church funds.
Family relocation of a gang member is one
thing. A church subsidizing such a move is out of
biblical order. Sometimes the best witness of Christ is
not 'jumping into' situations that could best be handled
by parents and the family. The church is not a
relocation center. If one rejects the gospel and Jesus
Christ, consequences DO take place.
The quickest means of repentance? Let folk
suffer their OWN consequences!
INDIVIDUAL
RESPONSIBILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY:
Ungratefulness seems to be the drink of
choice in many of our communities. One can often find
it on the same shelf as the ‘Hater-aide’. We are living
in an age where the terms ‘responsibility’ and
‘accountability’ only surface when a person is about to
be caught in a net of their own doing. One reaps what
they sow. If one sows the wrong type of seed, they
should not be shocked when the crops come due in their
season.
We live in a time of deflection and
excuses. A well placed NO will get many wayward
individuals (and their families) to sober up and seek to
correct themselves before they wreck others. Or, it
will force them to move on.
What is the danger of the church saying YES
to the wrong thing? It might shock you to know that
teen gang members who have been relocated--in many
instances--‘brag’ about the old gang to which they used
to belong. Pretty soon, these ‘transplants’ start up a
new gang. Instead of solving one problem, more are
created.
How’s this for a glowing recommendation of a
family friendly church?
Pastor, you may hurt some feelings, and the
offerings may be short for a season but co-signing with
congregation members who are raising professional thugs
and thug-ettes will cause the upright members of your
congregation to find another place to worship. Who
could blame them?
Pastors, have the courage to say NO!
“HAIL
THE GRADUATES!” SPEECH
BY MIKE
RAMEY
Once a year, I like dedicating a column to
the young brothers who are going to step forward into
the adult ranks with their diplomas and degrees…tassel
flip included. Sadly, high schools, colleges and
universities no longer honor their graduates with
speeches from ‘real’ folk. As exampled by a recent
glaring error from an eastern college, it is considered
‘hip’ to invite--and pay--a television starlet who has
used her physical charms to ‘shake and snake’ her way to
her fifteen minutes of fame (which clearly goes against
the tenets of feminism) to inform graduates about
‘life.’
Nevertheless, there IS hope to be found
after graduation…the hope that rests within the
graduate. That is the message that I would like to
bring forth this year, as a hush falls over our
imaginary auditorium.
A MATTER OF COURAGE:
“I am well aware that there are young women
present for graduation today; however, my remarks will
be aimed at the young men in the house. Brothers, from
a man who has moved from the player to the coaching
ranks (seemingly overnight based upon the amount of gray
taking up residence in my hairline) I congratulate you
on making it across the starting line by joining the
graduate ranks.
Four years ago, many of you young brothers
were going through a similar ceremony in your local
communities. Now its ‘degree grabbing’ time, as you
head out the door toward the horizon that you have been
blessed to progress. It took courage for you to get
here. It’s going to take courage for you to re-fire the
hope to continue your journey.
The COURAGE to stay out of compromising
situations with men and women.
The COURAGE not to take ‘short cuts’ to get
wealth without work.
The COURAGE to know when to turn the videos
off, unplug from your iPod and pick up a good book or
worthy newspaper.
The COURAGE to woo and marry a quality woman
of a similar faith, beliefs and education structure, and
to go public with your decision and stand firm in it!
The COURAGE to be a father to your children
in a society that respects neither.
It should come as no shock that the economy
is bad, you have student loans due, and your job chances
are possibly zero in your chosen profession. This is
the same scenario ALL graduates face. Either you will
rise to the challenge, or the challenge is going to beat
you down!
THE VALLEY OF BITTERNESS:
As you sit clad in cap and gown ready to
step out into society, beware of those people, issues
and institutions who will do all in their power to
distract you from your life’s mission. This is not the
first time graduates have had to face tough times and
weak morality. Every generation--even in pools of
prosperity--have to define what they stand for, and what
they will rise above. Graduates: It is not what you
have in your pocket nor on your back that will determine
your ultimate worth.
It is how you ‘get up’ when you have been
knocked down by life.
Don’t let a loss, setback, or failure ‘lock’
you in the blame cycle. Don’t let what someone has done
to you, said about you, or spread about you force you to
take up residence in the Valley of Bitterness. Don’t
become a charter member of the ‘Whiner’s Club’! Be
courageous! Handle your victories with humility and
your defeats with grace as you never quite know upon
which end of the pier you will be upon at the end of any
given day.
Take a good look around you. Our country
has become infatuated with ‘Reality TV’ but has become
weak in dealing with reality. Children cuss at
teenagers, teenagers cuss at their parents and authority
figures, and the list is endless. Some reality shows
are measured by the number of bleeped-out words uttered
or shouted by the participants. Thanks to these low
standards, you have people--some of them seated around
you today-- believing that they can treat anybody in any
given way, and the end result will be acceptable. In
case you haven’t been told, dear graduate, what you see
on the video screen is not 100 percent real.
Prospective employers don’t think a ‘potty mouth’ and
the ‘morals of an alley cat’ are cute. Neither do
prospective spouses.
EDUCATORS OR
EDU-TRAITORS:
I have a few more items in my speech to hit
before I take my seat. Of course the graduates are
quietly forming the words ‘Amen’ upon their lips! I
hear you! I don’t like loooong speeches, either!
A diploma or degree is just like any other
piece of paper: It is the ticket to get you into a
particular vocation or career. It is NOT the
be-all-or-end-all of competence in a particular vocation
or career. Only YOU can determine your OWN worth by
your actions!
You see, unbeknownst to you, a battle has
been raging in our society. It has been going on when
you first entered the classroom in Kindergarten, and it
will be going on until our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
returns to claim his own.
The battle rages between the effective--and
the status quo.
Take the field of education for example.
There are those licensed and certified teachers who have
been in the field ‘for years’, yet have little to show
for their efforts… other than a great benefits package.
I call these individuals Edu-traitors. Their ability to
inspire, motivate, and encourage students vanished long
ago. YET the Edu-traitor refuse to retire or even read
the handwriting of their own lack of talent on the wall
. Sadly, these individuals vehemently oppose those who
may be in the education profession on a limited basis,
who are having more impact upon young people than they
think possible.
In short? They hate on REAL Educators.
You’ve all heard the lie over the years that
men won’t enter the education field. The truth? The
Edu-traitors--mainly females--have kept men OUT of the
profession, while at the same time belittling those men
who have impacted youth. Educators DO NOT all have to
be licensed, certified, or in the classroom for years.
Think back over your own school careers. Who really
encouraged you to stick with the books or seek out a
tutor or stay out of trouble? In most cases, it was NOT
a ‘professional teacher’, but someone else in the school
setting. You see, ‘Educators’ can be a beloved bus
driver, teachers assistant, custodian, cafeteria worker
or substitute teacher. When a student needs help in
those real life areas such as suicide, a teacher’s
license doesn’t matter much…but the heart of the helper
DOES! Always remember: The title of Educator is an
‘earned’ title and the title of Edu-traitor is best
applied to the keepers of the academic status quo of
our times. Marva Collins is an EDUCATOR because she put
her skin in the game and helped ANY student who wanted
to be readied for real life. If YOU can make that kind
of investment, my brothers, you deserve to be counted as
a man--regardless of what field that you may chose to
enter. Steer clear of those who are content to hoodwink
you into settling for less than your best.
As we wrap up our time together I hasten to
add the following: make sure your spiritual life is on a
firm foundation. We live in an open society.
Investigate all…but make sound choices. As for me and
MY house; we shall serve the Lord.
God bless you, and go forth and make those
dreams come true!”
RAMEY, a syndicated columnist and book reviewer, lives
in Indianapolis, Indiana. THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES appears
on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world.
To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2011 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: DON’T RECOMMEND
By MIKE RAMEY
Let me say this up front. Homosexuality is
a sin which has long been hated among Asians, Hispanics
and African Americans communities. This is a FACT!
Wait, there IS more!
Take a stroll through any public school and
you will hear male or female students coming down on
their classmates for exhibiting what may be interpreted
as ‘gay’ behavior, whether you are in the classroom, the
lunchroom or on the school bus.
Still not ‘socially aware?’ Check THIS
out! In many US cities, the quickest way to get noticed
by, and/or on the wrong side of many modern street gangs
is to be out-of-the-closet. If the truth be told,
modern street gangs are very much against recruiting or
admitting gay members of either sex. There has never
been a ‘gay pride’ march through gang controlled
neighborhoods. At least, none that I've heard about.
With all of the evidence against
homosexuality, one would be hard pressed to explain how
the issue has managed to gain steam in our society
outside of pure selfishness. Some in the biblical know
could also tie the matter to demonic influence. Be that
as it may, the ‘fantasy’ view by some in the MSM/Hollywood/Sports
kabal is that by ‘tying’ the issue to people of color,
it will be made palatable and acceptable under the
mantra of tolerance.
Nothing could be further from the truth, as
we are going to find out this month.
CORRUPTING A MOVEMENT:
There have been many arguments over the
years between Civil Rights movement supporters such as
myself and the homosexual, feminist and environmental
lobbies.
Let us go back in time.
How quickly we forget that we--in the land
of the free--were considered indentured servants,
slaves, and then three-fifths of a person. In the not
too distant past Black folk arrived at a crossroads in
this country where economic access, equality under the
law, and the right to vote were going to be more than
talk.
This is what led to the creation of the
Civil Rights movement.
(As an aside--thanks to my knowing and
understanding our history--this is also why I have a low
boiling point concerning those of our race who fancy
themselves as pimps, thugs, hoes, clowns and
entertainers--but I digress).
The Civil Rights struggle started in the
church, and was made manifest to the nation. Many,
many, many video hours of our sufferings as part of the
movement still exist. As citizens, those who were with
the movement determined our rights were going to be
real--and upheld--by the nation in which we lived. The
struggle ended with a solid victory by Black folk. To
paraphrase Dr. Walter E. Williams: “The battle for Civil
Rights is over and WE won!”
Unfortunately, the beauty of our victory was
short lived. The revolution may not be televised, but
the movement was corrupted! The lobby groups I
mentioned before--ever on the lookout for something that
works--‘discovered’ the power and tactics of the Civil
Rights movement. The history of the movement quickly
‘disappeared’ or was amended. The homosexual, feminist
and environmentalist lobbies--by hook, crook and
cash--bent and shaped our Civil Rights victory into a
more inclusive form--much like Madison Avenue,
Hollywood, and the sports media siphon off words and
phrases created in the Black community to sell in the
‘broader’ marketplace, without having to ‘deal’ with the
‘cultural creators’.
BLACKS & THE MILITARY:
Little did these mainstream lobby groups
care about the mines of various sizes in the water as
they chugged the good ship D.A.D.T. repeal towards the
Pentagon and Congress. The biggest mine of all? Prior
and Future Black military service.
Now, for those who are just tuning in to my
point: One of the ways in which WE were finally judged
by the content of our character and inclusion into
American society was through the doorway of military
service. From the Revolutionary War to WW II, many
African Americans have held to the ideal of military
service as a necessary portion of our duty of being good
citizens--even when we were denied admission, beaten out
of pay, or not recognized for our full contributions to
the national defense. The eventual order to
desegregate the US armed forces was a solid, undeniable
result of decades of Black and Brown soldiers serving,
sacrificing and dying to protect America.
We weren’t cowards…but over comers.
Remember the Double-V campaign?
Military service had been seen by our
ancestors as both being honorable and necessary. Who
could forget the exploits of African Americans in the
military prior to the Civil Rights era? History books
and papers continue to be written about various and
sundry contributions, honors, and sacrifices made on
domestic and foreign shores.
As my space is limited, I would invite any
young person to search for the following books at their
local library or on line to prove my historical point:
*“Black Brass: Black Generals and Admirals
in the Armed Forces of the United States.” By Henry E.
Dabbs.
*“The Golden Thirteen: Recollections of the
first Black Naval Officers.” By Paul Stillwell.
*Lastly, “Hell Fighters: African American
soldiers in World War I.” By Michael L. Cooper.
THE DRAFT AND OTHER
CONSIDERATIONS:
With the repeal of D.A.D.T. by those firmly
in the pocket of the homosexual lobby, the phrase
“…spiritual wickedness in high places…” takes on a more
sinister reality. It mocks past Black military
sacrifice for the ‘thrill’ of the sexual preference of
any gay solider or sailor.
Back in the days of the Vietnam War, there
was an innovation known as ‘fragging’ that took place in
the field. Simply stated, if an officer was not looking
out for his men, he could expect to receive a grenade
appropriately placed or tossed into his living area.
Other officers got the word and ‘straightened up’
quickly, once they found out that their troops would not
tolerate cruelty or incompetence.
This will be making a comeback…bet me.
Want more, oh wise social engineers? Well,
you can forget recruitment numbers being sustained in
the current volunteer US military ranks. Many
anti-homosexual men and women will ‘serve out their
hitch’ and not re-enlist. Mandates and stalled release
dates for the sake of keeping the ranks full can only
work so long. Thus, let’s see how many gay men and
women will fill those open spots in the military
manpower pool.
Then, there are ‘old schoolers’ like me.
I’m the next threat. Even though I’m a strong supporter
of the military, I can no longer--thanks to the gay
lobby, their friends in Congress and the Obama
administration--recommend military service as a viable
career option to our young people. Believe me, there
are plenty of us who remember military service as
honorable. Not anymore. Yes, young man, register for
military service…but you don’t have to serve UNLESS the
draft is re-instituted.
How could we forget the draft?
This also will be making a comeback--again
thanks to the social engineers.
Boy, oh boy, it’s going to be interesting to
hear the president compel Congress to bring back the
draft “for the sake of national security”. It will be
even more interesting to see if women will be included
in those getting their numbers pulled. After all,
you’ve come a long way, baby! The draft does not
discriminate.
The biggest risk from the policy change?
There are far too many of our soldiers stationed in
Muslim-populated areas. Islam is very specific about
homosexuality throughout the Quran. Christianity is
very specific about homosexuality throughout the Bible.
We have just given those who are fighting against the
USA more ammunition to kill ANY US troops…period. I
wonder if the ‘architects’ of the repeal considered this
before they made their decision?
RAMEY lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE
appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around the
world. To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2011 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: IT DOES TAKE FOCUS
BY MIKE RAMEY
It has become shockingly apparent that many of our
modern African American parents--be they single or
married--haven’t learned the lessons of pride in
ourselves and in our race that our elders modeled for
us. Furthermore, if some of our adults have not learned
these lessons, why then are we ‘shocked’ to find younger
brothers and sisters ‘blissfully’ ignorant of their own
potential? Why are we amazed to find a lack of moral,
academic, character and economic discipline in our
youth, when their parents covet the latest gadget or
DVD?
So what if Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey and their ilk
continue to resurrect the trash of the past. Real
brothers KNOW that they are FOOLS. So what if the NFL,
NBA or other sports organizations are talking about
striking and stopping the Super Bowl. Real brothers KNOW
that sports are entertainment, nothing more.
In my view, the potential for success or failure for
a man rests in what you focus upon. Brothers get
tripped up anytime their focus is swayed away from their
objective(s), based upon the noise generated from those
who are content to keep Black men in the victim end of
the success pool.
Being a man takes focus. Being a male feeds on
foolishness.
BROTHERS: STOP WAITING TO
BE ‘SPOON FED’
So, let’s get the brotherhood ready for the year
ahead. First and foremost, stop ‘waiting’ for someone
to meet all of your needs without you having to exert
some serious effort to work--and work hard--for what you
truly desire out of life. The old saying is still true:
The only place ‘work’ comes after ‘success’ is in the
dictionary! BTW…wishing comes before working in that
same book.
Brothers, buying into the ‘TV mentality’ of someone
arriving to ‘give’ you some money, ‘give’ you a new
wardrobe, clean up your house, or find you a better
woman are designed to shift your focus from working to
wishing.
Stop the wishing, turn off the tube and turn on your
brain with books and study. NO ONE should have to BEG
you to learn how to THRIVE and SURVIVE in hostile
territory!
Focused brothers are motivated and fixated on
success--not wishing. Plus they are more than willing
to invest in themselves to get the dream accomplished.
In the Authorized Version of the Bible, according to
Strong’s Concordance, the word ‘mistake’ is not found.
However, no matter the language one uses, the word
‘work’ can always be located!
BROTHERS: BE SELECTIVE IN
DATING AND MARRIAGE!
Pastor Wayne E. Anderson, out of Honolulu, Hawaii,
threw a great line to his members a few years back:
“Cute--can’t always cook, and ‘fine’ won’t always
WORK!”
We live in an increasing, feminized society,
brothers. This is NOT for our benefit and is certainly
not dedicated to the well-being of men. In addition, a
few of the foul-mouthed and soft-headed have made it
‘fashionable’ to manipulate (via the mainstream media)
many sisters to ‘whine’ about not being able to ‘find a
good man’; then when they ‘finally’ find him, they don’t
want to listen to his advice, nor follow his lead.
Let me repeat that last portion: ‘…Follow HIS
Lead!’
It’s one thing for a male to be frozen in an
adolescent state, and attempt to act like a man. It’s a
tragedy for a female to be frozen in an adolescent state
and call a man ‘weak’ for expecting her to BE a grown up
at 22, 32 or 41!
Relationships and marriages are for grown ups, not
for the childish! Men initiate, women respond either in
the affirmative or negative. It is the MAN who pops the
question on the marriage issue, because HE knows
himself, and HE knows the WOMAN into whom HE is willing
to invest his life. Marriage also comes before sex and
kids!
Brothers, it takes focus to be a man these days.
Sisters WILL use their assets to trick, trap, and trump
a man--THEN say that he’s ‘nothing’ for taking the
bait. There IS a time for sex, and it is in marriage,
period. Not ‘weekend flings’. Not ‘late night
rendezvous’. Marriage!
BROTHERS: BE FOR REAL IN
YOUR FAITH!
Before I leave the realm of marriage, let me state
this: If the woman of your dreams won’t accept your
name without a ‘hyphen’ in it, move on. Best to be
single than to be married to a woman with one foot in
fantasy and one foot in reality.
Now it is true--we live in a western society; a
democratic republic. We have a host of religions
available for worship. It seems these days that all of
the religions in America get their ‘props’ except one,
that being Christianity. Since the other religions have
ample spokesmen and women for them, allow me to speak
for the cause of Christ. Lifting Christ up is not
putting other faiths down, but it is giving many the
chance to see and compare all faiths in the same light.
Then, based on the evidence, you make the call!
Former two-time world heavyweight champion George
Foreman, in his book “God In My Corner” shared his
thoughts on the religion issue after he met Muhammad Ali
at a sporting event outside of the ring. Foreman was
reportedly interested in Islam, but nixed the idea after
meeting Ali: “I thought, if you’ve found religion,
you’ve got to be at least better than me. Religion
should at least make a better person out of you. I cuss
a lot, but you’re out-cussing me! So why would I want
your religion?”
The thing I like about the champ is that he
eventually became a Christian AFTER checking out the
record in the Bible for himself.
The same focus he had in the ring, he used to zero
in on God.
Discipline, hard work and victory are the byproducts
of focus. Victory is the end product of hard work.
Hard work is attached to discipline; not something for a
man to avoid, but to embrace. In the end run, focus on
your dreams and your goals. Be wary of those who want
to get you off track. Sure, failure may happen on the
way up the mountain, but a man of focus and
determination won’t have failure keeping him down for
very long.
You can only lose the war, if you decide to
surrender.
See you next month.
Mike Ramey is a pastor and writer who lives in
Indianapolis, Indiana and is the author of ‘The Manhood
Line’ and ‘The Ramey Commentaries’. Both columns are
carried on fine websites and blogs around the world. To
email, drop an electronic line to him at
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2011 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications
International.
MEMO: JUST TOO
SHAMEFUL--LADIES!
BY MIKE RAMEY
After watching a few video clips of New York
political candidate Jimmy McMillan, it doesn’t take all
that much to ‘catch the fire’ of what he is saying. One
may not agree with his politics, but the truth is the
truth.
There have been two taboos broken by the
sisterhood over the last few years which have surfaced
on occasion. Sadly, Both of the taboos are behavior
related.
The first one has recently gotten much
airplay among the younger set. That taboo: women
hitting men. Many have already seen the MTV ‘meltdown’
of a nearly 20-something white female engaging in
slapping, punching and cursing the white father of her
OOW child, on camera and in front of witnesses (and yes,
I did use racial ID because this is the way it was on
the video). Yes, there is ‘talk’ of the cops
investigating this, but one truly wonders how far the
investigation will go.
Oh, and if the situation were
reversed--guess who’d be going to jail.
The second broken taboo centers around the
dreaded ‘b’ word. On T-shirts, in MSM magazines and
over the airwaves we have had a festival of b-bombs,
from women, by women, against women who do not happen to
agree with their point of view.
Call it politics, call it disagreement.
I’d like to cleanse the air and call it
off…period.
Whatever happened to women being classy--ALL
the time?
When men behave badly, we get a barrage of public
outcry, and rightly so. However, when women do the same
thing…barely a whimper. Even from high-profile women in
the MSM. You know…the women who ‘still’ claim to be
‘underpaid’, but their salaries are in the ‘low seven’
figures?
LADIES: BAD BEHAVIOR IS
NOT ‘CUTE’:
Bad behavior is still bad behavior,
regardless of who does it. The sad thing about bad
behavior THESE days is that one sex gets all the garbage
and the other gets off with little complaint. I’ll let
you ‘fill in the blanks’ on the sexes at your own
discretion.
The MSM and the press have been running a
rather sordid stream of “…she’s a criminal…” stories of
late. This is NOT new in female bad behavior. Remember
the famed ‘wardrobe malfunction episode’ of Janet
Jackson’s career? Oh, it took place in the arms of
Justin Timberlake during the half-time show of Super
Bowl 38? “It was an ‘accident’…” viewers were told as
teens and children--with their parents--watched the
attempt at soft-core porn. Much ‘mock disgust’ was
mounted, but the fury was eventually swept aside like
day-old confetti. It gets better. Few remember the
‘show’ put on by retired soccer star Mia Hamm back in
the last decade. The ‘show’--as part of a team victory
celebration--the athlete tore off her uniform top as she
skidded across the green of the soccer field in the year
2000--according to Internet sources.
“It was an emotional moment…” The American
public was told. Balderdash! What ‘if’ a
male athlete would have behaved as badly?
But, I digress.
There IS a way of making a political
statement in a classy way.
Take the case of two Black Olympic Athletes
in Mexico City, Mexico on a warm, summer’s night in
1968. Their ‘crime’? Invention of the Fosbury Flop?
Hardly. The duo raised their leather-clad fists on the
medal podium. They lost their medals and were darn near
declared ‘international outlaws’ in the uproar.
The revolution started…and the USA got a
taste of what the world already knew.
Fast forward from Mexico City. A few months
back the Canadian Women’s Hockey team won Olympic Gold.
Shortly after the awarding of the medals and the singing
of the Canadian anthem, the female victors went into
their locker room and came out to party--with liquor and
cee-gars right in front of the crowd and the television
cameras. Mild anger from the International Olympic
authorities. No medals taken away. No one ‘barred’
from their sport, or threatened with jail or prison
time. No one branded as radicals, racists or
subversives.
The ‘double standard’ of the sexes displayed
once again.
A TIDAL WAVE IS BREWING
IN SCHOOLS:
Hopefully, you can ‘get’ where I’ve been
going on this month’s voyage.
One of the side effects of bad behavior is
that such sins do not go unnoticed by younger eyes.
Thanks to the widespread use of iPhones and YouTube, a
female teen merely has to click a few buttons and move
instances of bad behavior into the fertilizer of the
teenage mind. What is done on the TV news one night is
in the hallways the next morning, and is acted out on a
cell cam video the next night before an online
audience.
On the day I put this column to bed, a 16
year old GIRL was arrested at an urban high school in
possession of a gun and cocaine. It wasn’t a ‘prank’ or
a ‘lapse in judgment’. It was a calculated act. There
is a good chance that she could be tried as an adult for
her actions.
Need I say more?
The Book of Titus has a solution for wayward
women in Chapter two. It’s called having other women
hold them accountable and teaching them how to love
their OWN husbands (not their neighbor’s husband) among
other lessons.
As I’ve noted in the past, when men go
astray, it is up to the brotherhood to deal with the
men. When women go astray, this is a matter for the
sisterhood to bring under control. I understand it may
‘appear’ that the foul-mouthed and immoral could rule
the earth, if one goes by the media and electronic
offerings of our modern age.
Women of today have done just about
everything from putting bullets into their
husbands/boyfriends, to murdering their children, to
being busted as drug dealers, orchestrating kidnappings,
and running street gangs without fear of social
retribution.
This is going to have to change.
Ladies, it’s time you to teach your OWN
sisters more about class--and less about sass! Take a
stand now and one day your daughters will rise up and
call you blessed, instead of a ‘hot mess’.
RAMEY is a Pastor from Indianapolis, Indiana. THE
MANHOOD LINE appears on fine websites and gracious blogs
around the world. To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: WHEN YOU DISCOVER
BY MIKE RAMEY
Brothers, as the schools are back in
session, and you happen to see our young men enjoying
their youth, do not despair. Use those fleeting moments
of interaction as teachable moments. You never know
when the seeds of truth will blossom into an orchard of
blessing. Those young men whom you may impact with
wisdom for a moment in the present will sing your
praises down the road as they reap future rewards.
Recently, I happened across a newspaper
interview of a famous young man on the entertainment
scene. Evidently, someone had instilled some love for
the institution of marriage in his past, as he had
proudly proclaimed that he was looking forward to
getting ‘hitched’…once he found the right woman. In
short, he related that he was not ashamed to have
discovered that the ‘single’ life may have looked good
in his 20s…but he was pushing 40 and ‘settling down’ was
becoming a better option.
Someone had planted some good seed in him
long ago--and it took hold.
THE COURAGE--TO ENCOURAGE
DISCOVERY:
I’ve been kicking around in the Book of
Proverbs over the summer months. One of the more
frequent topics is the need for older men to encourage
younger men to be wise in the course of life. One can
not lead his home, church or society well, without
spending time in the Bible for themselves. Furthermore,
one can not grow as a real man after God’s own heart
unless he is willing to discover the need for wisdom,
along with the self-examination and study of men of past
generations to see how they ‘did it’ with little but
God, grit and determination.
Sometimes, young people will surprise you
with their search for wisdom. Before school ended in
the last term, several of my seventh grade students were
starting to develop an interest in jazz, through their
playing in several of the middle school jazz groups. Of
course, this led to some great conversations with yours
truly about music ‘back in the day’. I answered what
questions I could, and provided some discs of the ‘old’
stuff plus insights from some of the jazz greats I had
seen and interviewed over the years as a reporter. More
importantly, I congratulated each of them in their quest
to discover a world of music beyond their iPods.
THERE WILL BE CLOUDS--AND
ENEMIES:
Of course, you know that there is an enemy
of teenagers lurking about. On YouTube.com they have
clips of the old ‘Hollywood Squares’ show…one of my past
favorites. The game is based on Tic-Tac-Toe, and there
is always a chance to keep someone from winning by
‘going for the block’.
That’s how Satan (aka the Devil, or El
Diabolo) works. He goes for the block--then for the
kill. He’s that voice in many a teen’s head that is
telling them to:
*Drop out of school.
*You can ‘do fine’ by selling dope.
*Squares don’t know the fun of the street.
Satan is so sneaky in how he does it! He gets
many of us to do his dirty work by ‘blocking’ our
communication between the generations. In my view,
there is no ‘generation gap’ and there never has been,
in my view. There is only a ‘mercy’ gap. It is up to
us ‘P-school Rangers’ to provide the historic background
of our lives and times to our youth and help them to
discover themselves.
Someone did the same for us, back in the
day.
We can’t impact our youth; nor get our youth
to impact their own generation IF we don’t give our
teens some room for imperfection and discovery. Taking
this further, when a teen is secure in themselves and
knows who they are, success is a natural byproduct--even
if there are some problems along the way. If more of us
old folk would take the time to instill some mercy,
racial pride and encouragement in their lives, the ‘thug
life’ that we see played up in our mainstream press
would have little hold.
Sure, it takes effort. All worthwhile things
DO! Yes, it means giving of ourselves and our
resources. In the end, we can either complain about the
state of our youth, or we can help change there
direction--one teen at a time--by helping them to
discover AND learn how to stand on their OWN two feet!
WRAPPING THIS UP ON A
DIFFERENT NOTE:
So, let me end my column for the month this
way…in verse. This is to encourage the brotherhood to
invest a little more time and complain a little less
about our young people. As I mentioned earlier, someone
took the time to help you be all that you could be back
in the day.
It’s our turn to pass it on.
While this verse is aimed at young people,
perhaps some of us older brothers can identify and
testify as to what we went through when we were younger.
After all WE owe many men in our communities who took
the time with us a big thank you for getting us down the
right road of life. Some we know, some we may have
forgotten. As the old folk used to say: “God will
always provide a ram in the bush when you need
blessing!”
WHEN YOU DISCOVER
When you discover the Value of an education, You will be
less likely drop out of, be suspended from, Or, get
expelled from school.
When you discover the Joy of honest work, You will be
less likely to rob, steal, boost or cheat Others out of
their stuff…because you’ll have earned your own stuff.
When you discover the True Love of marriage, You will be
less likely to abuse the opposite sex and will Put forth
your energies to mature and learn how to build your own
happy home and family.
When you discover the History of your people, You will
be less likely to victimize them or commit crimes
against them.
When you discover the Worth of your own body, You will
be less likely to abuse it with drugs, alcohol, tobacco
or other things.
Lastly, when you discover the Purpose that God put you
on earth for, and the love Jesus Christ has for you, You
will be less likely to get arrested for a crime EVER
again!
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MEMO: RELOCATION OF A
FOOL
BY MIKE RAMEY
You may have seen a story like this in your
local paper, or on line. A pastor of a church, or a
congregation ‘decide’ to ‘help’ someone out of gang life
by paying to relocate them to another jurisdiction,
supposedly ‘far’ away from their present gang problems.
To use my Paul Harvey voice--you don’t know
‘The Rest Of The Story’!
More than a few law enforcement agencies
have reported that the reason why gang activity explodes
in areas where there has not been such activity before
can be traced to gang bangers ‘moved in’ because they
were ‘hot’ in another jurisdiction.
At the risk of hurting the feelings of some
of my brother pastors (I have no sister pastors, because
the Bible is clear about women in the pulpit and I DO
support the Bible), I would hasten them to get out of
the relocation business and back into the resurrection
business. Until one deals with the root of their own
problems, moving gang members will not solve their
dilemma. As a matter of fact, to move someone who will
not change is subsidizing the relocation of a FOOL!
THE FIRST AND SECOND
INSTITUTIONS:
Relocated gang members will fall back into
their old ways in order IF there is no accompanying
internal repentance and change. This is a FACT! There
is another reason why churches should stop believing the
‘hype’ about the ‘need’ to ‘help relocate’ criminals.
It's called the B-I-B-L-E.
In the Scriptures, it is clear that the
first institution created by God for man and woman was
marriage, and the second institution was the family.
The church ‘showed up’ further down the road.
Therefore, when the church tries to ‘usurp’ or ‘play’
with the arranged, biblical order it comes off looking
bad to all concerned. That’s part of the reason why I’m
an advocate for doing away with Sunday School and
replacing it with Bible study. The church is to HELP
and TRAIN parents to train their OWN children and create
Christian homes. It is NOT the role of the church to
‘take over’ the home!
Somewhere, someone is shouting--or nodding
AMEN!
I read an article a few years back where a
pastor, upon doing some study of the Word, found that
his church--by having a day care center--was actually
advocating the disruption of the home AND encouraging an
increase in out-of-wedlock (OOW) births.
He caught a lot of heat--and a few other
things--for ordering the center be shut down. However,
along the way, I dare say that he also caught more than
a few blessings.
A LACK OF RESPECT:
Sadly, our modern era has little respect for
the institutions and things of God and the Bible. We
have been ‘socially divided’ into two camps, two warring
factions, and a host of thoughts and ideas that have
little to do with reality.
Take the issue of family. Even though the
divorce statistics may be high, the child support courts
may be full and the MSM may be trying to build a
‘normal’ family with homosexuals, lesbians, vampires and
sorcerers, the reality is that a ‘normal’ family can not
hope to begin without a MARRIAGE commitment between a
man and a woman. Then the children follow, and so on
and so on! I know that this might not be the popular
route, but, brothers, somewhere along the line, one must
take a stand for right, and against the need to be
popular. Learning to stand on one’s own two feet as a
man is the greatest compliment to our race and
communities.
But let’s move on. We’ve seen gallons of
ink and swarms of keystrokes dedicated to the ‘saving’
of various individuals through social programs sponsored
by not-for-profits funded by grants and giveaways. In
reality, these social programs and not-for-profits are
aimed at keeping some employed based upon the antics of
others. Antics, I hasten to add, brought about by some
in our society being led to believe that bad behavior is
not only justifiable--but worthy of reward.
FAMILY MEMBER
ACCOUNTABILITY--NOT POPULAR:
Stop and think. A generation ago, many of
these same programs that we see ‘in vogue’ today were in
existence. Yes, they had different names and different
faces involved, but the aim was to deal with the poor
and unfortunate person in society via not-for-profit
means. Through these programs, government ‘trumped’ the
family structure (with taxpayer money), the church was
asleep in the pew (failing to care about the connection
between strong families and growing congregations), and
the social workers were unleashed. The results were the
same then as they are now: calls for more programs,
more social workers, the church to remain asleep and
less family involvement.
If one keeps doing the same thing, with the
same result, I believe that one could call this a form
of ‘mental illness’ if not downright insanity. If we
want change, we as a people are going to have to put the
issue of individual conduct right back into the homes
where the problem of wayward family members was
birthed.
If I may be so bold, many entitlement
programs ARE designed to keep folk comfortable in their
misery, while the sociologists, psychologists, grant
writers and social workers continue to pocket hefty
checks and drive off into the suburbs to write their
books and research papers, FAR away from the people they
claim to be ‘down with’ for eight hours a day.
Sounds like the time is right to solve our
OWN problems.
Back in the day, if a family member was
‘hot’ it did not take a pastor or a church to come up
with the funds to send someone out of town. The FAMILY
made a few phone calls, got a bus ticket, and shipped
the offending young person off for an extended trip to
stay with an auntie or uncle in another part of the
country. Auntie Jean and Uncle Ron were MORE than a
match for the little hell raiser from out of town. By
the time THEY got through with them, in many cases, the
foolishness was gone, and a more respectful family
member (with their right mind) was ready to go back
home. And, there wasn’t a federal, state, or local
grant in sight--at the bus depot!
If we can afford the latest electronic toys,
we can afford to relocate our own wayward girls and
boys. Let the church be the church. Your pastor is NOT
your travel agent, and God is NOT a bell hop.
MEMO: WHEN ONE GETS
‘SCHOOLED’
BY MIKE RAMEY
Over the course of my writings, a few brave
souls have asked where I hang my keyboard. Well, I
reside in a quaint little burg known as Indianapolis,
Indiana. We have the Super Bowl scheduled to arrive
here in about 18 months or so.
Things in my home city have been getting
quite interesting lately.
Around the beginning of summer, we had a 15
year-old boy try to ‘insert’ himself into an arrest
attempt by our local police department. When
one--regardless of their age--attempts to stick their
noses into an arrest situation and fancy themselves to
be a ‘street corner lawyer’, they may get some bumps and
bruises--or worse--from the police.
The teen--got schooled.
Now, the official term is ‘resisting
arrest’. The unofficial term is curbside justice. No,
the teen didn’t deserve to get the lumps and bruises he
got. Furthermore, in record time, out of the group of
officers involved, the department recommended that one
be fired and one be reprimanded. The investigation
findings would also be turned over to the U. S.
Attorney’s Office in our district for further review.
The cops--got schooled.
No charges were filed against the teen.
THE DRAMA EXPANDS AND
CONTINUES:
A few weeks went by. Soon, it became time
for the 40th annual Indiana Black Expo Summer
Celebration. Rev. Al Sharpton came in for the kickoff
church service. He spoke out about the assault on the
15 year-old (who was in the crowd and on camera by the
way). But, Sharpton noted that, while the community
should take a stand against ‘police brutality’ whenever
it happens, it should also take a stand against the
‘thug’ element in our communities. An element--I must
sadly admit--becoming more and more emboldened each and
every time some soft-headed preacher or self-appointed
‘retread’ community leader decides that the realities of
life are ‘not fair’ to an individual who decides that
they are above the laws which govern the rest of us,
regardless of race.
Well, a few days after Sharpton spoke, there
was a march around police headquarters in downtown
Indianapolis. The 15 year-old was there, still
unrepentant. So were members of the local,
socially-active cadre of churches. Media reports
counted about 300 individuals involved in the march.
The marchers demanded all of the cops that were involved
in the ‘brutality’ incident to be fired.
Later during the same week, it was revealed
by the police that various teenagers in the community
were ‘taunting’ the cops to treat them the same way that
the 15 year-old was treated. He got off--and the rest
of the teen thug element thought that they could ‘cash
in’ and take their chances in getting off too!
DOWNTOWN THUGGERY AND
HEROIC COPS:
The weekend of July 17th saw the annual
Black Expo downtown event which was aimed at the teens
of our city. There were more than 350 police officers
on duty in the downtown area as night fell. The teens
were having a good time, and all was going well. Until
another teen--allegedly gang-associated--decided the
time was right for either a gang initiation or some
gang-oriented payback by shooting into crowds of teens
in at least two areas of the downtown. When the smoke
cleared, nine children were shot, including a ten
year-old boy. Another alleged unknown shooter was
responsible for the wounding of another teen in another
location our downtown.
The marching social preachers and
self-appointed leaders--got schooled.
Our Indianapolis cops were true heroes that
July night. Not only did they keep the shooting count
from going higher, several risked their lives to protect
teens caught in the line of fire. Further, within 48
hours after the shootings, police had a suspect in
custody.
It turned out to be a 17 year-old Black
teen--with a lengthy juvenile record.
After the bullets flew and the ambulances
ran, there was plenty of finger pointing, press
conferencing and a big sense of denial over the gang
problems that have been going on in our city for a
number of months.
The City of Indianapolis & Indiana Black
Expo--got schooled.
A MATTER OF ‘THE CLIQUE’
OVER ‘THE REAL DEAL PEOPLE’:
Whenever an incident of tragedy happens in a
community, whether it’s a ‘Columbine’ or a ‘Katrina’,
there are those who are outside of the ‘meet-eat & greet
cliques’ who usually spot trouble before it happens and
sound an alarm. Many of these individuals have faith in
God, believe in the Bible and the real Christian
church.
I call these folk: ‘The Real Deal People’.
When the going gets tough, and trouble is
brewing, these are the people who are the straight talk
and upright living folk that you WANT to have on board
with you.
Then, you have ‘the clique’. Be they
political, educational, racial, or religious--they give
the guise of attempting to ‘work’ with ‘all’ and
‘receiving’ advice. However, when the cameras are shut
down and the microphones taken away, the clique will
continue to uphold their ‘status quo agenda’--even if
bodies are the end result of their willful ignorance.
Yes…even in the African-American community, among ‘our
folk’.
My column began with a Black teen who didn’t
receive the right home training in how to talk to those
in authority (the police) and my column ends with
another Black teen not receiving the right home training
to NOT pack a gun and fire into a crowd (of fellow
teens) in public to ‘rep’ his gang.
One has two choices when schooling happens.
The first: learn the lesson and change. The second:
continue in ignorance until the next time of tragedy,
harm and death. Brothers, I trust that your home city
has learned the first choice. In my neck of the woods,
the second choice appears to be winning the day: meet,
march, eat and greet--to our own defeat.
RAMEY is the Pastor of
The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD
LINE appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around
the world. To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: FROM BOYS
INTO--GIRLS?
BY MIKE RAMEY
One of the things that I have come to notice
over the last few years is the uplifting of the
effeminate and the downgrading of the masculine among
our young men by their mothers--and others.
Case in point: the remake of ‘The Karate
Kid.’
Why is the Black male lead in
cornrows--which makes him look like a girl?
Now, there will be some who think that I am
making much to do about nothing, but hear me out. In
our media-driven age, image IS everything. From You
Tube to Facebook, to the Blackberry, we are consciously
driven by what we see. Furthermore, since many of our
Black actors and actresses are not in charge of their
own production houses or distribution networks, image
matters even more.
From time to time, I’ve had the discussion
about ‘…how Black folk look in the media…’ with various
individuals. I find it quite tragic that Denzel
Washington and Halle Berry won Oscars for roles that
degrade our people. For some, the check may be more
important than the image--but how Black folk are viewed
in the mainstream is how other races WILL see us. Until
those Black folk IN the entertainment and political
ranks get some guts and STOP becoming ‘working props’
for institutional idiocy, the stigma of degrading our
people will continue.
The clean up must start among ourselves.
BLACK USED TO BE
BEAUTIFUL AND PROUD:
While in the classroom, once upon a time, I
had a male student ‘yell out’ that he was ‘Black and
proud’. Of course, his GPA was somewhere below a D
level, and he had disciplinary record as long as my
leg. I just HAD to smile at his sheer ignorance.
Long ago, a local doctor in my town
commented on the youth of the eighties. To paraphrase:
“It’s not enough to be ‘Black and proud’. You have to
live an upright life and have your individual actions
‘back up’ your words.”
His wisdom seems to have bypassed some in
our current decade.
Now, I have never been a fan of cornrows for
boys. I am less of a fan for the diamond earring
(a.k.a. ‘stud’ or ‘studs’) in the earlobe for boys. I
am least of all enamored with a young man who has
cornrows AND earrings. Then, there are the associated
‘sagging’ pants, tats, and color scheme associated with
gang life. There’s just something creepy about stuff
like that. Nuff said.
The sad thing? Parents who think that it is
‘cool’ to let their sons go about the town looking like
throwbacks to preschool--with the emotional stability to
match. Of course, you can’t correct young people today,
let alone their parents, because feelings are so
‘easily’ hurt.
Let me clue you to something, parents: If
you won’t correct your own sons (and daughters), don’t
expect those of us in positions of authority to do your
job. We’ll just let your son slide on down the tubes
and give our wisdom to those young men who not only want
it…they’ll do something with it once they receive it.
Is that Black enough for you?
LOCKING IN STEREOTYPES:
I realize that we are only talking about a
small universe of knuckleheads that won’t get with the
program. Unfortunately, the mainstream press uses that
‘small’ universe to represent ‘us’ to the larger
universe, further locking in a stereotype. Many parents
haven’t learned the lesson about ‘Black pride’ that our
elders tried to get through to them: Lessons which
other races have not only learned, but capitalized
upon.
Let me give you a ‘for instance.’
Modern Latino music, when it first burst
upon the scene in the mid-eighties, could not gain
acceptance into the mainstream. Did the Latinos stage a
‘sit in’? No. They understood basic economic thought.
The worked with EACH OTHER. They pooled their money and
talent and did their OWN music awards in their OWN
electronic and written media. The result? Eventually,
the established music hierarchy ‘discovered’ Latino
music. Soon, all Latino music was held to be ‘cool’.
Now you have ALL actors and actresses (who want to make
a buck) learning how to speak Spanish, because the
Latino culture OWNS its image!
Say what you may about my example; many of
us will have to admit--thanks to Latinos being; a) proud
of who they are, and; b) stressing an education to their
young men--more of them are going to college and know
how to carry themselves in public.
They have mastered how to keep their own
image in a sea of stereotyping. More importantly, their
young men are STILL represented as being young men.
GETTING THE SKILLS FOR
MANHOOD:
To my young brothers: It’s not who can yell
the loudest or waive a gun in the streets who is counted
a man; it’s the brother who has the skills AND the
wisdom to W-O-R-K! Your Mama may think that you are
‘cute’ at 3-4 or 5 with those cornrows in your hair.
Maybe you were. But, at 13-14-15? Nope…not cute but
pathetic! Among the brotherhood, you won’t get much
training or sympathy because you haven’t be emotionally
strengthened to deal with the ‘knocks’ that life has in
store for young Black men in general, and MEN in
particular. When an employer sees you coming in the
door with cornrows, no matter how many brothers who are
‘on’ the job with them--they have stopped their
financial progress.
Cornrows spell out ‘Do Not Promote Me’ in
big, loud letters, no matter how cute they may look on a
screen or a video. You don’t look like the work culture,
and you won’t be given the respect that you are due.
Economics and respect go hand-in-glove.
The style of Black hair used to be the fro.
Now, it’s low, lean and clean. On the campus, the
classroom or the job, MEN dress to impress, period. MEN
have the skills to ‘back up’ their work record with
their style and pride. No wannabes need apply for a
man’s job in a depression--until they grow up, take a
good look in a mirror and determine who they are--and
whom they want to represent: Adulthood--or
adolescence.
Young brothers: your economic future hinges
upon the answer you choose.
RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis,
Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears on fine websites and
gracious blogs around the world. To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: STILL FOR MEN ONLY
As one well-known
preacher put it years ago: “Why be politically correct,
when you can be RIGHT!” Our topic this month is women
pastors and preachers. I’m going to lay out the
spiritual risks, the biblical admonition, and some
tough-to-chew-on truth for women AND men.
Now, this issue seems
to ‘rear’ its ugly head every few years because many
intelligent women (Christian and otherwise) seem to
believe the ‘beautiful lie’ that they have been called
to ‘…pastor a church and preach the gospel.’ The
‘beautiful lie’ is always easier to believe, brothers
and sisters. The ‘ugly truth’? There were more women
who were used of God and by God in the bible as queens,
wives, mothers--and harlots.
You DID read this
right! Amen!
Queens, wives,
mothers--and harlots may not be ‘sexy’ biblical
roles…but I’ve noticed in the scriptures that there are
TWO books in the Bible named for women: Ruth and
Esther. One was a widow who was an outsider brought
INTO the family (Ruth) who was trained in how to marry
by a wise, older woman (Naomi); the other was a Queen
(Esther) who saved her people targeted for execution by
an anti-Hebrew madman and advisor to the king’s court.
IF more sisters
modeled themselves after these women, there would be
LESS stress and more BLESSING in the church!
YES--HARLOTS ARE IN
THE BIBLE:
The ‘modern day’
meaning of harlot--in discrete company--would be
‘prostitute’ or ‘madam.’ Rahab was such a woman. Not
only was she tops in the trade, her family and household
were saved when Jericho fell. Her faith in the true God
saved her family, got her to change her ways, and--when
the smoke cleared after the fall of her hometown--she
married INTO the bloodline of Jesus Christ.
You know I have
more…Amen?
Check out Gomer.
Gomer, the wife of the prophet Hosea, was a harlot when
God ORDERED the prophet to marry her! She was a model
of rebellion against God’s authority. Gomer did not
cook, clean, sew or take care of the children; she
continued to ‘run the streets’. Hosea had to run his
household AND the church! In the end, Gomer was
reclaimed by Hosea as his wife and brought
home--humiliated! Gomer served as a demonstration of
how the Lord’s people needed to stop rebelling against
Him and return to serving him. Much of what was modeled
in Hosea still goes on TODAY!
SELECTIVE BIBLICAL
AMNESIA BY SUPPORTERS:
I have yet to meet a
female pastor who ‘remembers’ these aforementioned women
when trying to defend wearing a clerical collar and
heading up churches. They will point to Deborah, but
will forget Abigail. Of course, Deborah was a judge and
was married and she operated within the boundaries of
being a wife. (Many female pastors forget Barak did the
heavy lifting--but that’s another story). They will
‘question’ the female role in light of the apostle
Paul’s stand against women usurping authority church,
but they quickly forget the apostle James’ admonition
about the ‘deadly deception’ of the tongue and the need
for obedience.
THE DANGEROUS
SPIRIT BEHIND JEZEBEL:
Listen UP brothers.
The spirit of Jezebel is linked with evil. Thus, when a
woman, or a group of women are quick to insist upon
their rights and overlook their responsibilities, they
are NOT modeling themselves after upright biblical
women. They are learning at the feet of Jezebel. The
problem is; following after Jezebel has a high price tag
for women and men.
Personally, I have not
met one female pastor or elder who has had a stable
marriage, loving children or a joyful life once they
have decided to move themselves into a church leadership
role OVER men! In addition, there is word to describe
‘men’ who have abdicated their manhood by placing a
woman in the pulpit as a Pastor--regardless of her
biblical training.
That word is: F-O-O-L!
What are the dangers
of allowing a Jezebel to ‘run’ a church? Four items
come quickly to my fingers:
1. Pre-marital and
marital counseling becomes worthless.
2. Young (and
not-so-young) men drift away from God’s call on their
lives.
3. Evangelism
programs die a slow, agonizing death.
4. Social programs
are embraced--including homosexuality and abortion,
along with the preaching of the ‘social’ gospel.
MEN: WORTH THE COST
TO OBEY!
Sure, female-headed
churches ‘seem’ to be ‘blessed’ and growing. Don’t be
fooled, brothers: Satan can ‘manufacture’ blessings that
‘look’ like God is putting His stamp of approval on
mess. God NEVER blesses MESSES! As sure as God won’t
tolerate adulterous men in ministry (no matter how it
may look to the public); His blessings will NOT follow
wayward women preachers!
To those of my
brothers who have been called to preach and pastor and
have gotten discouraged because of the ‘rise’ of women
in various denominations, I have a word of
encouragement. Don’t be swayed by what you see; OBEY
what God has called you to do! Get into the fight!
There are young men and young women who have not seen a
REAL Christian man, let along real servants of God.
Some of them live on your street, attend neighborhood
schools or go to your church!
Sure, this will mean
angering some people ‘in’ your church, losing some
friends and making a few enemies. As a matter of fact,
you can rest assured that the church you will open may
not be a denominational church.
In truth, you will
have one thing that the ‘pretenders’ will not. The REAL
blessing of God as you go about making your calling
sure! Jezebel and her crowd may ‘start fast’, but they
will ALWAYS finish LAST!
RAMEY is the Pastor of
The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD
LINE appears on fine websites and gracious blogs around
the world. To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: KILLING THE ‘LEADERLESS’ LIE
BY MIKE RAMEY
While the
Depression-that-no-one-wants-to-admit-we-are-in
continues, the end of the school year is rapidly
approaching. Schools across the land are getting
hammered with firings, layoffs and a variety of hiring
and pay freezes. Not just the ‘great’ schools but ALL
schools--whether they be private, parochial, public or
charter.
And the teachers said: “AMEN”.
However--left out of the discussion is the fact that
a lot of school WASTE has been exposed to public light
and forced to be explained and cut. In New York City,
millions of dollars have been wasted on ‘rubber
rooms’--places where teachers are sent to do little more
than play solitaire on their laptops while awaiting
outcomes of various disciplinary matters. Meanwhile, in
some 17 states, school has been cut to four days a week
due to funding shortages. In Texas, textbooks are being
re-done to offer a balance of ‘Darwinism’ against the
Creation account that is contained in the Bible.
There is more as the depression continues to deepen.
Libraries, museums, public parks, and recreational
facilities are being cut because of the high
unemployment rate, lack of tax revenue available for
‘special’ projects, and the like. If we get a hot spell
this summer--coupled with high teen unemployment and
lack of recreational options--we’re going to have a mess
in many cities.
That is…unless we encourage and train new leaders to
step up to the challenge.
THE LIE OF LEADERLESSNESS:
A few years back, I read a short article written by a
man who had grown weary of people whining about a lack
of leaders in our land. The focus in the article was
simple: “Why don’t those who are crying for leaders
become leaders themselves?!”
This thought IS quite revolutionary in our modern
era.
Doubt me? Take a good look at our modern
entertainment fare--even some labeled ‘faith based’.
The leadership role of husbands in marriage has been
taking a beating. Single parents are portrayed as being
incapable of leading. In other arenas sports figures
can’t ‘get it right’ without a multi-million dollar
contract. Pastors would rather preach a social gospel
rather than Christ’s gospel to keep the pews filled.
Our political figures would rather justify their deal
making, private and public corruption and spending
projects to keep the public voting for them. Thus, when
someone does ‘step up’ and lead in a honest, straight
forth and--heaven forbid--biblical manner, folk suffer
from ‘jaw drop’.
No…there is not a shortage of leaders. In reality?
There is an overabundance of lying. There are people
being content to stick their hands out and get an
entitlement in the form of a check, a grant, or a
program to ‘do for us,’ that which we used to do for
ourselves. When we had little or nothing, it was
amazing how many people found the time to raise their
families, honor God, go to church, do well in school and
stay out of trouble with the law. The REAL truth?
America has gotten drunk from spoon feeding from the
medicine bottle marked ‘ease and comfort without
responsibility’. Sadly, folk would rather be wrapped up
in the beautiful lie, rather than sobering up and
dealing with the ugly truth: Leadership involves
stretching one beyond our modern level of lies.
THREE STARTING POINTS OF LEADERSHIP:
Brothers, here are three points on leadership that
should fire you up to become all that God has meant for
you to become. Once you realize that you don’t have to
‘settle’ for handouts; IF you get the glimpse of your
own potential, and; should you realize that you are not
just created to creep along and merely exist--but put
back and thrive--THEN you will become A leader.
Let me give you a tip, right from the gate: Real
leaders don’t have to await ‘validation’ from the
outside world to be acknowledged or recognized as
leaders. Too many of us ‘fall back’ on the excuse that
no one has ‘validated’ or ‘acknowledged’ their talents,
skills and abilities. Thus, without such acclaim, many
men are content to sit on their blessed assurances and
hold out their tin cup of pity and ‘…if onlies…’
True, we live in an information age…but we also live
in an age that gives more props to moral cowards! Some
of us have been suckered into believing that one must
have a ‘blog’, or a webcast, or hundreds of thousands of
hits in cyberspace in order to be ‘recognized’ as a
leader. Balderdash! REAL leaders set their OWN agenda.
Leaders have the determination in themselves to become
the best, do their best, and achieve and be upright even
if no one recognizes their efforts.
Alright…let’s move forward with the three tips.
1. Leaders are WILLING to be taught! A man who is
not willing to be taught is a man destined to be on the
begging end of life. A man who is unwilling to read, to
think clearly, and to learn how to apply himself in an
upright manner is not going to go very far when life
gets rough.
2. Leaders READ more than what is ‘expected’ of
them! It is disheartening to witness so many young men
and older brothers who have become satisfied in becoming
functional illiterates! Men who are more involved in
gadgets, the sports pages, and porn rather than
developing sober thinking! The world does NOT revolve
around what some ‘team’ did last night. This will NOT
help you get a job, raise your family, nor find the
right woman to marry. Doing what is ‘expected’ of you
and not growing is the hallmark of a social slave!
Business is BOOMING in the slave markets of America
today, and many men have no clue how they have become
neutralized and marginalized because of their lack of
reading and thinking skills.
3. Leaders CONQUER failure, fear and setbacks!
These triple terrors have immobilized many men over the
years. They ‘had’ a lot to offer and ‘could’ have been
a leader…but something got them off-track. So you
didn’t get ‘the job’, or you lost ‘the job’…there are
other jobs our there! So your city is cutting back on
library funding…take some money out of your pocket and
buy some books for OTHER clubs and organizations who
work with youth! In other words brothers…lead from the
front facing the guns rather than settling for being a
P.O.W. of ‘…what could have been...
We need you…on the front lines TODAY!
RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis,
Indiana, and is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. This
syndicated column appears on fine websites and gracious
blogs around the world. To correspond, email to him at
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: RISE OF THE GOLDEN
FOOLS
BY MIKE RAMEY
At this point, I’ll warn you this column is
going to step on more than a few toes.
I have always had a problem with programs
performing functions that should best be taken care of
by parents or a guardian. After all, the quickest way
to become a real man or a real woman is to make the
commitment before God and witnesses to marry that person
with whom you have the ‘urge to merge’--before you do
the deed. However, we live in an era where it has
become ‘fashionable’ to create cottage industries to
address problems and issues which used to be handled by
the home and the church (in that order).
Also, we have allowed morality to become
twisted.
Recently, I happened to hear a discussion on
a very popular radio ministry about issues of manhood.
What got my eyebrows up was the fact that yet another
individual has written a book on making a mountain out
of a molehill involving ‘rites of passage’ for young
white teens, without stressing the need for faith,
sexual purity, self-discipline in school and moral
excellence in the HOME.
Yes, the ‘excuse’ was made--by the author
and affirmed by the host--that the author did not have a
father in his home when he was growing up. Of course,
the author’s solution--when he became a father with
sons--was to write a book to focus outside of the home
for solutions to a home-based problem.
Now, this author could have turned to other
men in his community and church for help and wisdom…but
that would have involved humbling himself and admitting
that he had a problem. One other point--humbling one’s
self and seeking the counsel of other men would not make
for a great book deal. Heaven forbid, the guy might
have even lost money.
But--he would have had a better home life
AND could help another brother!
BECOMING ‘THE UNITED
STATES OF ENTERTAINMENT’:
There is nothing wrong with writing books.
There is something wrong when books are written,
programs are developed and millions are spent in federal
and state grants to ‘address’ problems that have been
created by the selfishness of some men and women. As
Pastor John Hagee has stated: “I believe in
counseling…but NOT eternal counseling!” This simply
means that at some point the patient has to get off of
the table after the treatment plan has been administered
and work life for themselves. Today, it is far easier
to develop a program and get a grant rather than
effectively deal with issues that have sprouted out of
the soil of ‘I’ll do it MY way!’
Bulletin: It is NOT the job of the village
to clean up after YOUR mess!
In 2008, a writer by the name of John Kozy
wrote a column entitle: “The United States of
Entertainment”. His viewpoint was that
entertainment--in its various forms--has been allowed to
sucked the creative and moral fiber out of our land,
transforming individuals from producers into consumers
hooked on the drug of ‘fame and fortune.’
I might also point out that such a worldview
has transformed the church into the role of bystander!
However, when kids and teens are
continuously exposed to escapist viewpoints and ducking
responsibility--coupled with actors and actresses who
can commit adultery over a weekend and be back on the
set pert and perky for their next TV shoot on Monday
morning--something is wrong with our society.
RISE OF THE GOLDEN FOOLS:
True strength comes from within, not from
without. If one has not been properly trained to have
respect for authority; to be able to distinguish right
from wrong and know when to keep their hands to
themselves, is it any wonder why we have problems in the
streets and the workplace?
Brothers, a ‘new’ church youth ministry does
not replace solid home training. A ‘new’ sports program
for your child is not going to replace your spending
time with them, teaching them the realities of life.
Both the good--and the bad.
I’ll take this a step further. It is just
as foolish for a parent to ‘demand and expect’ someone
to impart wisdom into their son or daughter which the
parent has not first taught them. To NOT teach your
child at home means you are raising a Golden FOOL!
There continues to be an ever increasing
number of these Golden Fools in our schools, our
government, and even in our churches. Compounding the
matter is the number of parents who defend the
foolishness of their offspring to the public and EXPECT
US TO LIKE IT!
WRONG!
Those of us who have ‘made it through’
Segregation, Voting Rights, Civil Rights and racism by
the grace of God and who are truly hooked up in Jesus
Christ are well aware of the writing on the wall. Times
ARE hard, and we are IN a DEPRESSION.
There is no solid indication as to when
we--as a nation--will see good times again.
We are also aware of the rise of excuses
from the coming generation about how they ‘think’ they
have been ‘done wrong’ and feel that they are ‘owed’
something for merely ‘showing up’ for the daily game of
life--without preparation or work!
Unfortunately, those who ‘show up’ for life
are only entitled to the leftovers.
The ‘meat’ belongs to the prepared and the
self-starter.
Parent: To ‘blissfully’ sit by and believe
that your children do NOT need to graduate from high
school because YOU failed to do so; to ‘think’ that a
two-year degree is something ‘special’ when a four-year
degree means a firm career foundation and to get ‘mad’
when you see other people of color zipping past your
kids for jobs because you haven’t had the guts to
mandate proper parenting skills is a sad commentary on
your abilities as a parent. Perhaps you may be
satisfied with the alternative…underperforming
offspring, who are content to form the pockets of Fool’s
Gold along the roadside of life, but this is NOT good
enough for the village in which you ‘claim’ membership.
Frankly, the rest of us don’t have time for
your Golden Fools.
RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis,
Indiana, and is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. This
syndicated column appears on fine websites and gracious
blogs around the world. To correspond, email to him at
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: TOUGHEN UP, BABY!
BY MIKE RAMEY
Three quick things off of this month’s memo,
right from the outset. First, our economy is in
DEPRESSION not RECESSION. I make this statement to
prepare the brotherhood for the ugly truth, rather than
to believe the beautiful lie that the economy is going
to get 'better' in one or two cycles. Second, to be
counted a man of quality, you have to learn how to
toughen up in hard times! ‘Males’ who spend more time
worrying about where their next video game is coming
from won’t survive in the arena of economic warfare.
Can I get an AMEN from the sisters who
‘skeet’ my column every month?
Lastly, learn how to share the joy of living
by simply giving above and beyond every once in a
while. Brothers, it is truly good for the soul, and a
great witness as to where (and in whom) you have your
treasure stored.
WAIT: DID YOU SAY ‘TOUGHEN UP’?
Oh, yes I did!
It seems that more than a few brothers have
become feminized and are hooked on their feelings--even
some who claim the mantle of Christ! Men, we need to
remember what natural cruelness the Master suffered
BEFORE He got to the cross, in order to reap the
blessings of life eternal, DURING a time of national
hardship under the Roman occupation.
Men are built to RISE in tough times.
Bookmark this one for the feminists and
‘wishy-washy’ males in the house: “Where a nation stops
listening to upright men, a roadway into Hell is
paved--and opened--for immediate use. Until righteous
men are heeded in the public square, the national
suffering CONTINUES!”
And the righteous brothers said: AMEN!
The late Reggie White’s 1996 book: “In The
Trenches: The Autobiography” does a great job in the
armor restoration department. The ‘Minister Of Defense’
pens several lines among a few dozen that stand out for
the brotherhood this month: “Trench warfare is rugged
and dirty, but wars are won in the trenches…It isn’t
always fair. It isn‘t always just. Sometimes you get
punched, you get held, you get clipped from behind--and
you just have to get back on your feet, bind up your
wounds, line up in the trenches, and do it all over
again.”
White took risks on and off the field. I’ll
never forget his public stand against Homosexuality.
White caught a lot of ‘media flack’ for his views. But
he went to his grave with the one award that many
‘feminized’ male members of the mainstream and
entertainment media WISHED they could claim: The mantle
of manhood.
Too many men have been ‘hoodwinked’ into
believing that without an ‘earthly’ father in their
lives, there is no venue for interacting with upright
men. Balderdash! There are brothers who are doing the
right thing everyday, and are willing to teach you what
you need to know for the journey. You don’t need a ‘Big
Brothers’ program to heed the advice of an older man who
is right in front of you explaining why you don’t dance
in the middle of the street during rush hour!
Want more out of your life, brothers?
Listen to older, upright men! If you don’t, you may be
missing out on a tremendous blessing because of your
lack of humility. In the words of one African proverb:
“An old lion is NOT old--by accident!”
THE TIP CONNECTION:
On my voyage to manhood I learned the joys
of being a good tipper, from hanging out with my own
father. My Dad made it plain: “If you WANT good
service, you have to be WILLING to pay for it!” That
advice has served me well over the years. From the boys
who come by to shovel my walk to my barber, our
household is known for not being ashamed of tipping for
good service.
No matter how bad times may get, the lesson
is worth learning and sharing.
A teacher friend of mine told me about a how
she passed the lesson on to some of her students during
a field trip. She rebuked a group of them for not
leaving a tip for the waitress after they ran up a
healthy tab. Not only did she leave a good tip FOR
them, she put EACH of them on the hook to pay her back
by the end of the week--or she would be calling each of
their parents about their ‘restaurant transgression’.
Cheap parents breed cheap teens. This is
NOT a good quality to instill in your children as they
go out to make their way in the world. Some time or
another they will be working in a job where tipping
makes the difference between a good paycheck and a
mediocre one.
AND…ONE PLACE YOU DON’T:
Tipping brings out the best in workers and
employees. Tipping also gives an indication as to the
quality of man (or woman) one may be attracted to for a
potential relationship. Brothers, I’ll make it plain:
“If she’s CHEAP, head down the STREET!”
Tipping--going above and beyond what is
expected--is a great witness of your faith in God. How
one can be a bad tipper and THEN want to leave a gospel
tract for a waiter or waitress is beyond me. Your
witness goes as far as your ability to open your wallet.
And the restaurant workers said: AMEN!
I’ll catch some ‘hate mail’ on this next
point, but I’ll ‘say on’ regardless.
There is one place that tipping is NOT
allowed--in God’s church!
God gives those who are His the power to get
wealth. The Tithe (10 percent of your weekly earnings
before taxes) is the Christian’s way of further public
identification with the cause of Christ. Salvation is
THE way. Baptism is next. However, if the Lord truly
has YOU, your WALLET is also SANCTIFIED! Let the
naysayers and excuse mongers stay BROKE! As men will
stay away from cheap men, God WILL stay away from non-Tithers…including
Pastors who talk one way, and give LESS than their
best!
MEMO: THE RAMEY RULE
BY MIKE RAMEY
I wanted
to give a solid ‘shout out’ to those warriors who have volunteered
to contend with young men on a regular basis about their sagging
pants. Of course, I am still amazed of the longevity of this rather
‘brief’ matter--but I digress!
I’ve seen
some rather interesting battles and discussions between adults and
teens about the need for keep pants pulled up to regulation level.
I’ve heard of adults shouting at teens, and teens shouting back at
adults over ‘my rights.’ I’ve read a variety of columns about
school dress codes and why students--even at the college level--need
to ‘adult up’ with proper dressing habits. As I sat down to pen my
column this month, I found the issue raging in my neck of the
woods. Several adults and teens have wound up in trouble with the
law over adults laying down the rules and teens rebelling against
them--sometimes to the point of exchanging words and punches.
This ought
not to be.
IT STARTS AT HOME:
The old
adage is true: If the home will not teach, society can not
compensate.
Teens--by
nature--are slippery and rebellious. Many of us who are adults now
were teens not that long ago. I can remember my own times of
rebellion--and how my parents responded to them. Sometimes with a
talking to; sometimes with punishment, and sometimes with a firm
administration of the board of education to the seat of knowledge.
I--and others--learned a healthy, godly fear of dad and mom.
And all
the parents said: AMEN!
Sure, the
times ‘may’ be different. Let’s be honest! How many of us have
come across ‘trifling’ parents? They DO exist and get lots of
airplay and ink. You’ve seen them on TV shows from Judge Judy to
Jerry Springer! Parents who seem to have been ‘frozen’ in their
very own rebellious streaks from their adolescent years--with frozen
brains to match.
The
results are STILL the same if a minority of the parents do NOT teach
or when a minority of teens will NOT listen! The twin brothers of
chaos and rebellion rule, firmly replacing opportunities for the
direct education and advancement of our children.
Sad. Just
truly S-A-D.
I recall
one time during my stint as a probation officer. A female parent
came to the juvenile court dressed like a stripper heading for
work. Needless to say, the bailiffs would not let her into court on
her child’s case…because of the court’s dress code.
And…we
wonder where the children get it from?
STEREOTYPES--AND
TRUTH:
Make no
mistake about it. The pants sagging issue--and its attempt at
justification--are firmly rooted in rebellion. Saggers are proud
that they ‘sag’--but don’t want to face the consequences of doing it
‘their way’. Unfortunately, we live in an era where consequences
are expected to be ‘brushed’ off to the side without comment from
the society at large. Commit a crime, and have a hundred letters
and videos to ‘explain’ your right to harm someone else. Commit
adultery and go off to make your next movie. Carry a few guns into
a sporting venue and get shocked by being suspended from your pro
team.
From a
biblical perspective, let me ‘clue’ the brotherhood to a reality:
The consequences of rebellion ‘may’ be delayed, but are seldom
denied. God’s judgments may be slow in coming, but pack a punch
when they arrive! In truth, if one does NOT learn the lessons of
being a responsible child at home--whether it’s headed by
two-parents, one parent, or a loving guardian--you’ll be reduced to
being judged as a stereotype by the society at large.
Society--like teenage friends--can be CRUEL in their label
placement!
Brothers,
if you sag, you fit the stereotype. Fair is fair; but REAL is
REAL! In most of our world today, stereotypes represent reality.
It’s not ONLY how ‘you are seen’, but how you are ‘perceived’ WHILE
you are being seen! As a father myself from the old school, rest
assured that a sagger may not make it to my tree lawn--let alone my
porch--if he dares to date my daughter!
THE SOLUTION? THE
RAMEY RULE!
For all
you saggers out there who are getting upset at me blasting away with
this column, I issue the following invitation. Call it a ‘public
challenge’ to test my writing. Go to any local company or job fair
with your ‘sag wear’ and ask for a job application and/or an
interview. If the people around you don’t move away from you in
rapid fashion, you will ‘get the hint’ that your wardrobe is not
appropriate from the employers! They will GLADLY find any excuse to
have you file your application--by mail!
Here is my
solution to the sagging problem. I call it the ‘Ramey Rule’. It
operates on the simple principle that the best way to get to the
‘heart’ of a sagger is to get him to turn his brain on! Yelling does
not work. Drive-by ‘orders’ from adults to ‘pull up’ one’s pants
does not work. Dress codes and sanctions have limited impact (as
sagging has become not only a ‘fashion statement’ but the flag of
youth). How to get their attention? Change your tactics! Couple
wisdom of economic reality with the truths of stereotyping in the
application of the ‘Ramey Rule’ which is spoken as follows: “The
LOWER the pants, the LOWER the IQ is perceived to BE!”
Think
about it! Saggers do NOT work for law firms, Black Enterprise
Magazine, IBM, Microsoft, your local school corporation or Beatrice
Foods. Saggers DO work for strip mall mobile phone stores and
hip-hop head shops. Saggers may ‘start out’ with good grades, but
slovenly and sloppy will eventually ‘overtake’ their academic
progress. Saggers won’t be able to ask if I want ‘fries with that’,
as many fast food chains have a nasty way of dealing with sloppy
employees.
Just keep
reminding saggers of these future facts, and you will see a gradual
rise--at least during daylight hours--of pants back to where they
should be. IF they don’t appreciate your comments, saggers will
soon experience the consequences of rebellion.
It’s
called ‘Long Term Unemployment’!
RAMEY is the Pastor of The Forward Church,
Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears on fine websites and
gracious blogs around the world. To correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: THE JOB HUNT
GAME
BY MIKE RAMEY
One of my
favorite movies is Spy Game staring Robert Redford and Brad Pitt.
The most telling illustration for my column is the following slogan
from the cover of the soundtrack: “It’s not how you play the
GAME…it’s how the game plays YOU.”
Hunting
for a job is rough, time-consuming and pressure-packed process.
Nevertheless--when you boil it down--the job hunting process is a
game. How well you play it will determine your future economic
success. Of course, this game has rules (like most games do), and
the rules are meant to be obeyed whether they are written or
unwritten. For this month, we’re going to hit on some of the basic
rules and discuss how to play the game and keeping your sanity while
job hunting in a tight, recession-laden economy.
You may be
asking yourself why such an article is needed. Simply stated, it
has to do with some of the business articles I’ve been
reading--including articles by and about people of color who are out
on the job hunt.
Brothers,
this is NOT the first recession that this country has been through.
News flash? It will NOT be the last recession, depression or job
slowdown you will see. As the ‘old folks’ used to say: “Just keep
on LIVING and LEARN your lessons WELL!”
BE YOURSELF THROUGHOUT
THE PROCESS:
IF some of
those articles are to be believed, we are being told that it is
‘safer’ to ‘ditch’ your ‘cultural heritage’ (including
non-traditional sounding names, group/association memberships, etc.)
in order to ‘hide’ your skin color and win a job.
Balderdash! If I would have to deny or change who I am before
applying for a job, would it be a job worth having? Thirty pieces
of silver put Jesus Christ on the cross. Sacrificing your self
worth and/or culture for a paycheck is the blast that won’t last.
One of the
first rules of the job hunt game is to be who you are. The
successful are happy with whom they are--and it translates to solid
applications, great interviews and qualified employees.
Furthermore, IF you are a Christian, you should not lie on a job
application, in an interview or any business deal.
The
important thing: BE you…and be the best you that you can be!
FAILURE CAN HAPPEN IN
THE JOB HUNT GAME:
The next
rule is simple and should never be underestimated: “Life is NOT
fair!” There are people who are under qualified and overqualified
who manage to get hired BEFORE you do, and it just does not seem
fair. It may seem like the race course may be rigged…but just keep
on doing what you know how to do. Check the job blogs, mail out the
resumes, pound the pavement and contact companies that fit into your
employment plan. As one wise sage told me years ago: “A setback is
a set-up for a comeback!”
Failure is
as much a part of life as are breathing, heartbreak, death and
taxes.
A few
years back, John C. Maxwell penned a book on the subject is
failure. Entitled: “Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes Into
Stepping Stones For Success,” this work should become mandatory
reading for job seekers. To paraphrase: Many of the successful
people of today ‘failed’ in one (or more) ventures yesterday--and
could fail tomorrow.
They won’t
roll over and quit! The successful are persistent and KNOW that one
must stay in the and play the game until you net that win!
REDIRECT INSTEAD OF
POLISHING A RANT BLOG:
In our
modern age, there is a ‘feeling’ that everyone should be free to
express themselves without consequences. There are dozens of blogs,
web pages and web sites dedicated to people venting their
frustrations over not being hired. On more than one occasion over
the years, I’ve had to calm down young people who got a taste of
real life and had their knees (and egos) skinned in the process.
I’ve also had to chew and swallow some of my own advice!
Redirect
the negative in public and vent in private is another rule of the
game.
Look at it
this way…IF that negative energy were focused upon networking or
looking deeper into the job pool, employment may be found. You are
not going to find a job hanging out at a bar (or someone’s house),
spending hours complaining, carping and otherwise whining about ‘how
bad you have it’. You’ll just sink deeper into misery!
It has
been said that employers have all kinds of ‘nifty’ software packages
to scan the internet for tidbits, nuggets and landmines of potential
employees. With that being said, why start a rant blog, THEN attend
a job interview and find out that someone in human resources has
given a ‘sample’ of your web rantings to the interviewer?
If you
don’t want it known, don’t put it on the internet for everyone to
see! It WILL come back to either haunt you--or bite you--somewhere
down the road.
BE FAITHFUL IN THAT
SURVIVAL JOB:
One of the
last rules I have for the month is for those men who have ‘done the
right thing’ in terms of upgrading their education, getting more
certifications or making other skills improvements, but have not
been able to get that better job just yet.
It’s
called the ‘faithfulness’ rule. It may be found in Romans 12:1-2.
Since I
write this column from a biblical, business and common sense
perspective, let us NOT forget that what man may call a step down,
God calls a ‘ready room for advancement’. I still marvel at a
friend of mine who reached a career end with a company he had been
loyal to for a number of years. However, his faithfulness was
rewarded as the company expanded with a new division--and moved him
into it. He has since been promoted to more responsibility as a
department head. We got together recently to talk over old times.
He shared that another promotion could be in the wings for 2010. He
started with that company as a part-time employee, more than 20
years ago.
Even if
another promotion doesn’t come, he is happy in his job and is
thankful to be where he is. He turned off the naysayers and turned
on his faith in God.
More
importantly, he mastered the game instead of the game mastering
him.
RAMEY is the Pastor of
The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears
on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world. To
correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2010 Mike
Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: FAILURE--AND
CONSEQUENCES
BY MIKE RAMEY
When you
get down to the problems in American education, forget needing more
school days. Throw out more money per student, as we are in a
recession. Yes, you can even chuck the race card.
It is
simply called, “let ‘em fail!”
While
working as a probation officer within my county juvenile court a few
years back, I discovered this secret to success for those who don’t
want to ‘get with the program.’ It was amazing how much ‘respect’
that teens had for education and their parents once they spent a few
weeks or months in state custody, deprived of many of the comforts
that they enjoyed.
Chores
didn’t seem so ‘bad’ from the inside of a detention facility.
Getting to class on time (without razor wire and corrections
officers) looked pretty good outside of a 12 x 12 cell. Cruel?
Yep. Real life? It most certainly is!
Why should
schools sugar coat what is coming down the track? A lot of those
who have decided to spend more of their school days suspended rather
than successful need to get a wake up call a lot earlier than age
18.
Let them
get a taste of failure--and its consequences.
Consequences for one’s actions is a sure fire way to bring one’s
shortcomings up close and personal. It also marks the need for a
man or woman to make true and lasting change.
END NEGOTIATING
WITH HINDERERS TO EDUCATION:
Any young
person who will not participate in--or listen to any teacher in any
classroom--is the SAME as a thief. They are willing participants in
the STEALING of future success from YOUR child or teen.
Hear me
out on this point. Many parents would like to see their child get
into college, the military, or a great job. Unfortunately, there
are some parents content to let their teens fail. It is up to
parents--single or married--to train their children to LET the
unrepentant trouble maker who may be in their classes to THROW AWAY
their education.
Does this
sound cruel? On the contrary! This is real life in action.
Actions
have consequences. Delaying those consequences is not fair to those
who are living life on the right side of the street. We need to
stop allowing those who are fooling themselves with sub-standard
performances that their antics are ‘acceptable’.
Want to
see the education system get better? Forget sending children to
better schools. Make schools better by letting students fail! You
will be amazed at how schools will improve their education services
to all children, once they are freed from caring for academic ‘dead
weight’.
SOCIAL PROMOTIONS
HARM MORE THAN HELP:
The
crushing reality in many corners of American education is that
students are not allowed to fail. You may call this a tragedy. I
call this a reaction by the education structure to the lack of
discipline teachers are allowed to practice during the school day.
Social promotion is not dead, but repackaged. Students don’t do
their homework--and are allowed to pass. Students don’t show up to
class prepared--and are allowed to pass, even IF the teachers bring
the pens, pencils, paper and study notes. In some school districts,
students don’t even have to dress and participate in gym
classes--and are allowed to pass and even play on some sports teams!
Who gets
it in the neck IF the hinderers are stopped along the way with
disciplinary action, failing marks, or school suspensions because of
tardies, poor attitudes or refusal to behave?
Why the
teacher, of course! How DARE they attempt to train all children to
be successful members of society.
But, I
digress.
Now, in my
neck of the woods, we have a host of programs in existence for ‘at
risk’ students. All aimed at rescue, not reality. The latest one is
a ‘Graduation Counselor.’ There may be something similar in your
school district. The ‘intent’ is to get hinderers to graduate from
high school by having yet another adult offering ‘realistic’
advice. IF a teen--going on adult--will not listen to their
parents, teachers, etc., concerning the need to get an education in
today’s economic downturn, what good will yet ‘another’ pair of lips
do to ‘explain’ reality?
It’s time
we let the hinderers in our schools find out the that the wake up
alarm won’t be pleasant in an unemployment line for those who choose
to hit the ‘snooze’ button on their brains, day after day. A hungry
stomach will surprisingly motivate a non-engaged mind.
RAMEY is the Pastor of
The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. THE MANHOOD LINE appears
on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world. To
correspond, email
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2009 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
MEMO: OPERATION BAND
OF GOLD
BY MIKE RAMEY
This
month, we’re off on the ride of reality, brothers: The subject of
marriage!
For the
life of me, I can not understand why churches, schools, government,
and even the criminal justice system refuse to stress marriage FIRST
and sex SECOND between a man and a woman!
The ‘I see
it, I want it, I’ll take it’ mentality of the age continues to spawn
new lows for the sake of sexual thrills. Even those who have fought
for ‘same sex marriages’ are amazed at how quickly homosexuals and
lesbians are lining up for their ‘right to divorce’ so they can
quickly move on to their next illicit relationship.
A REGULAR QUESTION
FROM SOME OF THE YOUNG:
Teens have
a way of piercing the veil of truth with their own honesty. Every
once in a while, I’ll get ‘that’ question from a male or female
teen:
“Mr.
Ramey…are YOU married?”
I’ll hold
up my left hand and point to a rather large band of gold.
I’ll also
answer in the affirmative.
Some of
them seem both shocked, and glad. At least--in their travels--they
have met someone who values marriage to a wonderful woman. Sure,
this may be the second time around. But this time, I got it right!
As Ray Charles said in the commercials: “I found the RIGHT one,
Baby! Uh-Huh!”
DROP TRADITIONAL
MARRIAGE? INCREASE OF SEXUAL MISERY:
With all
of the electronic ‘ink’ that has been wasted on the ‘rise’ of gang
crime, the ‘rise’ of youth unemployment, and the ‘rise’ of the
dropout rate, one DOES NOT have to look too far to find a culprit:
The deliberate dropping of traditional marriage and raising stable
families from the landscape. MEN marry; THUGGS sag…and lag!
Check it:
starlets are allowed to have ‘baby bumps’, multiple shack-pals and
weekends with the thrill of their choice. Recording artists make
songs about how ‘tough’ and ‘street’ they are--then rush to court
because their ‘live in’ has gotten into a fight with them (Rihanna
and Chris). Newspapers, magazines, TV shows and radio documentaries
are dedicated to million-dollar weddings and billion-dollar divorce
settlements. On top of all this, the ‘public’ church is more
concerned about social issues rather than biblical truth…in a day
when truth is an endangered species.
Brothers,
marriage is NOT what you see represented in the MSM. Only by
careful research of your OWN spirit, determination and drive will
you know that you are ready for that commitment. REAL men value
three things: The right to selection, the right to propose and the
right to commit.
Do NOT
fall for the ‘feminist lies’ that men don’t want to commit to women
and it’s OK for women to ask men to marry them. Do NOT fall for
ridiculous MSM TV shows that show women ‘acting ugly’ on their
wedding day, and it is acceptable! If can be honest--and we
usually are in THIS column on Men’s issues--there are MORE women
running FROM marriage proposals these days than ever before.
As I wrap
up this month’s column, I’ll bring you my ‘short list’ of points
that you can freely use in order to determine IF she is the right
one to marry. Be warned, brothers. If you are NOT prepared
spiritually, economically, educationally, and don’t have a strong
work ethic, do NOT even THINK about getting married. Commitment
lasts more than cute!
THE REVISED ‘RAMEY
GREAT EIGHT’:
1. DOES
GOD HAVE HER? Real simple question. Sound New Testament principle,
based upon Proverbs 31. If you are a Christian and she is NOT, you
can NOT tie the KNOT! Marry outside of the Christian faith at your
own RISK!
2. HOW
DOES SHE TREAT DAD? Plenty of sisters have fathers with whom they
regularly see and interact. Observe how she treats Dad, and other
males in her family. Any hidden anger? Is she still a tomboy at
heart? Do NOT ‘overlook’ this!
3. WILL
SHE TAKE YOUR NAME? Would NOT want to be bothered with a sister who
would not take my name. No ‘hyphens’ allowed. Any brother who
‘lets’ his future wife ‘decide’ whether or not she will take his
last name is heading for a war that even the Taliban couldn’t win!
4. WILL
SHE FOLLOW YOUR LEAD? Another sound question. Pre-marital
counseling is needed to bring this issue up and out on the table.
Men lead; women follow in marriage. Anything with two heads is a
FREAK! When men do NOT lead, the family is a mess. You are the
five-star general, brothers; she is the four-star general once you
marry. Communicators and protectors ALWAYS last longer than
dictators in a home.
5. CAN
YOUR WOMAN COOK? In these tough times, a wife that can make
preserves, do meals from scratch either in an oven or with the power
off and knows how to turn hamburger into gourmet food is a godsend!
Especially in a recession.
6. CAN
YOUR WOMAN SHOP? How she treats her money will show you how she
will treat your money when it becomes ‘our’ money. And…there is
nothing wrong with separate bank accounts, especially in second
marriages. Second marriages CAN work IF you learn the lessons that
caused the first one to go up in smoke.
7. DOES
SHE ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU? More and more women get talked into
dumber and dumber things by their female (and male) friends. Don’t
be fooled: Pornography has become a problem among women, too!
8. DOES
SHE KNOW HOW TO DRESS? A wife knows that she needs to be ‘covered
up’! Fashionable but not flirtatious to anyone but Y-O-U! She is
to dress for her husband; not to win approval from her
‘sistahfriends’ or family members.
Marriage
is for a MAN and a WOMAN. NOT for ‘baby daddies’ and ‘baby
mammas--with drama!’. Brothers, quit that thugg life! Grow up,
shape up, step up and M-A-R-R-Y! Want a better woman, brothers? BE
a prepared and upright man!
MEMO: NOW
APPLY IT!
BY MIKE
RAMEY
Now that
young people are involved once again with the annual pursuit
of knowledge, let me congratulate the brothers who are
getting the GOOD grades! Furthermore, I give these young
men a tip of the hat for staying out of trouble, keeping out
of detention/jail/prison, and spending as little time as
possible ‘connected’ to the criminal justice system by a
pair of silver bracelets and D.O.C ID numbers.
And the
parents said: AMEN!
Much of
our society doesn’t focus upon the subject of education in a
realistic manner. We think of ‘getting an education’ as
being the ‘be all and end all’ of life. More education will
not make a person better if they are already bitter on the
inside. Putting a PH. D in the hands of a fool just makes a
person a better educated fool. Meanwhile, at the ‘other
end’ of the debate--after the Civil Rights years--seeing
young African American males exchanging their futures for
‘thirty pieces of thrill’ sagging, bagging, and dying in the
streets (while their parents are blissfully silent) should
re-energize every Black educator every day they enter a
classroom.
In terms
of our people and education, we have not met the enemy in
some cases; we have given ignorance a pass, an iPod, and a
front row seat on Madison Avenue and BET.
The Bible
is very clear about self-deception, my brothers. Not only
do we have to have a realistic assessment as to who we are
on a daily basis; we also have to PREPARE for success.
Preparation is that hard work which is often unrewarded
until the ‘test’ that you have been readied to meet
knocks--or pounds--on your door. Life is NOT going to beg
you to be successful; but it will help you to find your spot
in defeat at any time.
Education
isn’t an idol to be worshipped. It is a needed tool for
survival.
DISTURBING
STUDIES:
One of my
heroes, author Tony Brown, said it well a few years back:
“Speak and write the King’s English very well. You will
need this for food, shelter and clothing. Speak anyway you
want when you are at home.”
Over the
last few months I have had the chance to keep up with some
of the ‘side’ stories of the economic downturn this nation
has been experiencing. However, a few are worthy of note
when it comes to getting young men ready for real life
outside of the classroom. The first item deals with the
unemployment rate of young Americans; those aged 16 to 24.
According to national reports, the ‘official’ unemployment
rate for young adults is a record, resting above 52
percent. Add to this the fact that entry-level jobs are
drying up in this recession, with little to no relief in
sight.
Now,
among people of color, the unemployment rate for the same 16
to 24 group USUALLY trends higher…about ten to fifteen
percentage points higher. Thus, we can safely speculate
that the unemployment rate for young people of color is
hovering around sixty to sixty-five percent! Add to the
mix? There are certain, well-placed economic gurus
predicting that the national unemployment rate will hover
above ten percent for the next few years. One can truly
understand why an education is crucial to the economic
SURVIVAL of brothers, young and old.
MANY STATISTICS ON
THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE:
Yes, I
know. I can hear the catcalls already. School is too
hard. It’s not ‘culturally sensitive’. Teachers are
stupid. I’m not motivated to achieve. Public schools are
broken. You are a sellout to your race IF you read, write,
and speak well. You ain’t down with the struggle if you
achieve.
Fill in
the blank, in case you have an excuse I haven’t listed.
The DLS?
In hard economic times, those ‘pieces of paper’ that some of
you knock, brothers, are worth their weight in GOLD when it
comes to getting your foot in the door for a job interview
and being hired. Spin it this way: the more people that
are spreading the lie that ‘education ain’t all that…’ are
the same ones who are going to be stepping over the
statistical bodies of those who believe the lie--as they are
grabbing the brass rings of economic success!
To my
younger brothers, apply what you are reading. Get your
education! Treat it like a job everyday in the classroom
and on campus. Motivate yourself! Your ability to get paid
a legal wage rests upon what skills from reading, writing,
and arithmetic you retain and how many subjects you
successfully master. Make your BRAIN rain!
I have
yet to read an employment application yet that has the
following spaces:
A) How
many words can you ‘tweet’ a minute?
B) How
fast can you download a bootleg video?
And the
employers said: AMEN!
UNEMPLOYABLE
THUGGS'? VOLUNTARY STATISTICS!:
There are
two major consequences of doing wrong in the streets and
living the thugg life (my personal spelling), besides a trip
to the ‘state spa’--meaning jail or prison. First, in tight
economic times, it matters little how many diplomas and
degrees you earn behind bars--employers WILL RARELY hire a
person who had done time for anything.
That is,
unless they can ‘make money’ from the government off that
ex-con.
Anybody
remember the “Jobs Training and Partnership Act!!??
I know
that this will hurt some feelings, and ruin some photo ops
and PR opportunities, but let’s be ‘on the up’ about this
matter. There IS something to be said for staying out of
the lock up. Second, I don’t care how many re-entry
programs that may exist. In times of economic peril, the
employer calls the shots as to whomever gets that available
J-O-B! Let me assure you; your ‘jailhouse diploma’ won’t
work very well in a showdown with those brothers--whom you
LAUGHED at--who got their education and stayed out of
trouble in the process. The squares and un-hip rule in
recessions, Amen?
You’ve
read it all before. This time, apply it. You’ll be ready
for success!
RAMEY is the Pastor
of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana, and is the
author of THE MANHOOD LINE. This syndicated column appears
on fine websites and gracious blogs around the world. To
correspond, buzz an email to him at
manhoodline@yahoo.com. © 2009 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm
Communications.
MEMO: WHAT IT IS!
BY MIKE RAMEY
We’re back in the saddle ready to ride--and write--one more time.
The ground rules for THE MANHOOD LINE (which have been circulated
far and wide) are very simple. First, I write for M-E-N.
IF women get
what I’m writing about, it is a blessing for them. Second, I come
at manhood from a biblical, business, and common sense point of
view. This means that this columnist KNOWS God exists and his
rulebook is the Bible, preferably the King James Version. Lastly,
you cannot succeed if you are not ready to pay the price of
preparation with your OWN work!
That’s “What It Is”!
NOTE FOR TECH
WORSHIPPERS: P-SCHOOL STILL RULES!
Years ago, I added the phrase “What It Is” to my arsenal. It means
what is says, and says what it means. A search engine cannot
replace your brain. An electronic gadget should not replace class
nor common sense.
Unfortunately, we live in what I call ‘tech’ times; times where
truth is becoming rare and endangered. Folk are more interested in
feeling good, rather than doing good--and are shocked that reality
doesn’t reflect the ‘good feelings’ that they have been downloading
from the electronic ‘self-esteem picnic!’ Truth: IF you get
involved in criminal activity…do NOT be shocked to have some
brothers and sisters on your doorstep with their holsters
unsnapped! BET, Lil Wayne, and MTV will not be at your trial!
That’s ‘What It Is.’
The starting point for today‘s column? Sadly, it STILL seems that
the upright brothers are being left to the side as many modern women
still want the neighborhood thugg. What makes the situation even
more bizarre…Some sisters are anxiously becoming neighborhood thuggs--rather
than WIVES!
But--I digress!
There’s more! Be warned, brothers! Even during THIS recession
there ARE some sisters in the workplace who have set their sights on
bumping men out of their jobs through the file marked ‘sexual
temptation!’
The ‘Office Seductress’ is licking her lips, sizing YOU up for a
potential ‘fling’...then FIRING! Making the fracture even more
pronounced: some of these sisters are in positions of management and
authority.
Let me share with you some words of wisdom from Pastor John Hagee
about sin in general: “It’s the blast that DON’T last!” Let me
add the words of the late Pastor E.V. Hill, of Los Angeles,
California: “Brothers, YOU have to keep control…of YOUR pants!” In
short, the man who cannot control himself in sexual matters is a man
who cannot be trusted with more responsibility. If ONE can’t
control himself in the little things, forget being trusted to run a
business, school district, or country. Truth: leave Delilah,
Jezebel, and ALL of their cousins…ALONE! The price for some
‘afternoon desire’ and/or a weekend spree is NOT worth it.
I
met a young woman at a local store recently. You could tell that
she was a ‘modern’ woman as she wore a T-shirt with her ‘wisdom’
printed on her bust line. Of course, I won’t tell you what the
wisdom was…but we did manage to have a pleasant conversation,
centering upon male/female relationships. On that subject, I
stated, flatly, that the man SHOULD pay…period. “Well…maybe back in
YOUR day…” she opined, “…but things are different today…”
“What was good in MY day, is still good,” I said.
Part of the reason that modern male/female relationships have gotten
harder is that more upright sisters are allowing their scandalous
cousins to dictate TO them what makes for a ‘successful
relationship’…even though THEY have never had one last past a
weekend.
And the Brotherhood said…AMEN!
Brothers, go BACK and listen to some vinyl. Eddie--The Thin Man--
Kendricks. The Four Tops. The O’Jays. Marvin, Stevie, and
yes--Count Basie and Duke Ellington. Dating and courtship were--and
are--W-O-R-K. You couldn’t have a HINT of a criminal record and had
to have a J-O-B. He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing--IF
he is upright from the start!
I
can hear the catcalls now. “It won’t work…It can’t be done!”
BALDERDASH! Demand standards in ALL your relationships!
Overseas, an interesting news item surfaced. Some Italian wives got
tired of their husbands being involved in criminal activity. (Yes,
we’re talking about Mafia country, where the death rate was HIGH)!
These sisters didn’t lecture, cry, whine, or ask for a government
grant. They clearly stated their concerns, and decided to “close up
shop”. To the uninformed, this meant that there would be no
activity in the bedroom UNTIL the criminal activity in the streets
DECREASED. Would you dare to take a guess as to whether or not the
crime rate went down?
Sisters, this is for you. IF you want better men, start saying NO
to the brothers involved in criminal activity and STICK to your
guns. I guarantee that you will be impressed with the result, and
won’t need to wait ‘…forever and a day…’ for a marriage proposal!
Brothers, BE the right man, so you can court and MARRY the right
woman and NOT her ‘seductive cousin’!
END NOTE:
The latest round of shouting matches between Democrats and
Republicans is nothing new. What makes the situation more grim is
that there are those within President Obama’s own party who would
like to see him fail. REAL prayer by UPRIGHT people works where
shouting won’t. Lasts longer too! The current mess that we are in
was a TEAM effort. If the home team isn’t in order, the church team
won’t be in order, the community team won’t be in order and the
government team won’t be in order. TTFN!
RAMEY
is the Pastor of The Forward Church, Indianapolis, Indiana, and is
the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. This syndicated column appears on
fine websites and gracious blogs around the world. To correspond,
buzz an email to him at
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
© 2009 Mike
Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
The Ramey Commentaries By Mike Ramey
Obama Turns Page; Clintons Sweat
Nearly an hour before his history making
speech in St. Paul, Minnesota, a small 'blurb' was released by
the campaign of Sen. Barack Obama to the press.
It was buried in the moment, but was not
a shock to those who had the opportunity to hear Sen. Hillary
Clinton's 'speech' earlier Tuesday evening.
The item? The selection of a well known
research legman by the name of Jim Johnson to start the
selection process of a Vice President for the Obama ticket.
Johnson, according to the Associated Press, has worked on
Democratic campaigns before: First in 1984 for Walter Mondale,
and 2004 for John Kerry to select running mates.
Of course, there are more than ten names
on the list, with Sen. Clinton's name in the third position.
However, several of the names are major
democrat heavyweights such as Sen Joseph Biden, Gov. Bill
Richardson, and Gov. Kathleen Sebelius.
It is clear that Obama heard speeches by
Clinton, and his Republican opponent Sen. John McCain--who also
will soon announce a search of his own for a Veep candidate.
In my opinion, just the releasing of
this list has enough power to 'cut' the Clinton dynamite. Faced
with a defiant Hillary who is hooked on 'dissing' Obama
"...because she believes its is HER turn..."which is in the
public realm, and, based on the old 'street' saying that there
is: "...only room for ONE dominant female in a house..."
(position filled by Michelle Obama, who is also a lawyer), there
may be some 'laying low' for a while, but Hillary's page has
been turned Obama made that clear on Tuesday night.
The pundits agree...Hillary Clinton did
more damage to her own political ambitions than she did to
Obama's.
Her New York 'non speech' with a side
order of "...I would accept the Vice President spot..." has made
the rounds on the political shows and even
YouTube.com.
She has proven that she is hooked on
power, not reality. The numbers added up, and Obama was the
winner, pure and simple. Now it is HIS choice to make for VP;
and his alone.
Time IS on Obama's side, as the 'real'
race for the general election--by tradition--does not start
until after Labor Day. THAT is when voters start paying
attention. Sen. Clinton has a proven track record of not being
able to stay away from publicity more than a few days or weeks
at a time. The longer Obama sticks to the script as the
nominee, the more the Clinton power base will dwindle, and the
more the Clinton strategists and donors will be looking at the
Obama camp, and wanting to be with a winner.
What of the voters that Hillary
'commands'? They will eventually straggle over to Obama, over
the course of time. And, after a dismal, painful, and lousy
Tuesday night speech by Sen. McCain, there MAY be some company
with them. 'Republicans For Obama' are already starting to 'line
up' on the Internet, and many of them will be Black and
Hispanic. Thus, those who may be die-hard 'Clinton fanatics'
may be replaced by disheartened Republicans.
Obama has as much 'experience' going
into the White House as any other president. The office shows
the true character of the occupant, for good or ill (I just
wanted to throw this in for fans of conservative talk
radio--LOL). Nevertheless, Obama has the nomination; and has
'turned the page' on the Clintons.
They can take the hint, or, take the
hurt.
"The Wright/Obama 'Rope-A-Dope'?"
"Dinner is over. Bring the walnuts, and
let us crack the reputations of a preacher or two." --Charles
H. Spurgeon
Please keep in mind that it is nothing
new for preachers to be criticized. Charles Haddon Spurgeon,
hailed as 'The Prince Of Preachers' of nearly two centuries ago,
in his book 'Eccentric Preachers'(which is a must reading for
pastors), noted that critics and preaching go hand in hand. He
had also had his share of critics.
"He who hopes to preach so as to please
everybody must be newly come into the ministry; and he who aims
at such an object would do well speedily to leave its ranks."
Spurgeon notes.
Now that the NAACP Convention, The Bill
Moyers interview and the National Press Club are behind him, The
Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright continues to be touted in the press as
someone who is 'hurtful' to the campaign of Barack Obama. Rev.
Wright, from what I have witness just this last 72 hours from
the point of view of one who IS a pastor, has held up
beautifully thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ. There is NO way
possible that he could have dominated the news cycle of three
days (and many more days ahead) if this was not a means of
getting this nation to finally deal with her Black issues,
reparations, reconciliation, and racism. I have said a few
'controversial' things from my own pulpit. I'm not a supporter
of 'Black Liberation Theology', but I will support those who
welcome Christ.
However, here is the rub.
This is a 'rope-a-dope' move to the
max.
Obama and Wright 'counted the cost' of
the arena of national office, somewhere back in the recesses of
time. The 'inside' ticket is that Obama 'explored' the
underground concerning his political chances nearly two years
before he became a candidate. This is why Obama is ahead in the
delegate count, the popular vote (without Florida and Michigan)
and creeping up in the super delegate count...planning, getting
a good team, prayer, and execution.
Even the US Supreme Court, in deciding
FOR the use of Photo ID to get voters to the poll is working
towards an Obama presidency...and the voter photo ID issue, in
its latest form, started HERE in my home state of Indiana. Sen.
Clinton's bid for another debate was gunned down, while Obama
was here in Indiana. Sen.
McCain's remarks about Obama not caring
about the poor WHILE Obama was at 19th and College--a poor
area--eating with poor folk and posing for photos--was another
resounding 'dud' as it hit the airwaves while Obama was here in
my home state of Indiana.
As Wright noted in some of his weekend
remarks: "He
(Obama) is saying what politicians are
supposed to say; and I am saying what Pastors are supposed to
say." Too smooth? Media missed this? A preacher without
something to say? A preacher AND a member of his church taking
the heat for the highest office in the land? This is why this
had to have been anticipated, planned, plotted and dismissed.
Obama and Wright are best liked to Tiger
Woods, and the Williams sisters. They 'sweat' and 'strain' and
ran scenarios in secret, so that when they are in 'public', they
are usually victorious! And, with the training of Rev. Wright,
he is also on the cutting edge of victory. How can one, who is
a Black man, a preacher, a pastor, and over the age of 50 NOT
understand how this society functions and know which buttons to
expose, and which buttons still need to be dealt with.
This is...shall we say...how Ali was
'misunderestimated' in the boxing ring? And, HOW many months
until the Democratic National Convention? Do the math and see
the results. It's all in the rope-a-dope. And...the gloves
have YET to come off in the Obama camp.
THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES: THE ALICIA
KEYS SHUFFLE By Mike Ramey
High profile person makes comment; gets
call from the string pullers that his/her comments are bad for
business; high profile person recants or says that they
misspoke, even though their comments are on tape, video, AND
DVD!
It's nice to know that the formula
doesn't change.
MSNBC reported on its web site that
Alicia Keys is now denying (backing away from, recanting) that
she didn't say what she said in her Blender magazine interview
about Gangsta Rap. According to an AP story, a spokesperson for
Blender Magazine is standing by their story.
Now, I'm not one to get excited.
Somehow, someone at the gatekeeper's desk let the truth 'slip
out' in order to boost, a) Keys' sales, and; b) the genre of
Gangsta Rap, which has been slipping in sales for the last FIVE
years, even though the 'big name playahs' of both the male and
female ranks have been still making money by diversification of
their business portfolios.
Meanwhile, those who have been dying on
the streets as a result of those who have been 'fueled' by the
rage of Gangsta Rap, are still dead, and Black men and women
are--through the miracle of technology--EAGERLY disrespecting
one another...for the sake of a buck.
Let this be a clear lesson for media
watchers and those who want to be famous, regardless of what
venue you wish to conquer. Unless you have some of your own
intestinal fortitude, your decisions, comments, or even
political office are going to be 'monitored' by the blowing of
the wind against your moistened index finger.
Disappointed? Not really. I was
wondering when the truth about 'her truth' would be coming out.
With the music industry in a slump thanks to downloading and
other 'tech toys' and a sour economy, the cash registers are
starting to come up dry. The powers that be snuffed out her
'militant' streak when their profits were in danger. Just like
in the Book of Acts when the Apostle Paul cast the demon out of
the girl who could tell fortunes, her 'handlers'--the folk who
made money off this young woman soothsayer--demanded financial
justice...even IF the truth were made public. Paul had to be
locked up, because he ruined their cash flow.
The same is still true today.
Thus, Alicia Keys 'may' have told the
truth about Gangsta Rap, but the high priests of the music
industry ordered the matter closed. Maybe she 'misspoke', but by
recanting...nobody will be set free--because of the money.
Expect her sales to suffer as well in the long term.
Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to be a
'Conspiracy Theorist'. After all, they usually manage to
outlive the conspiracy, through the grace of God and through
keeping an eye on history so as to learn from it, and not repeat
it.
So what do you think? If
you would like to respond to this article
click here
and sign our
Guestbook to leave a public or private statement, comment or reaction.
GANGS AND GANG VIOLENCE: A NATIONAL CRISIS
Gang violence
is contributing to a disturbing crime trend across the
country. MIKE RAMEY is a nationally certified
Street Gang Specialist and former Felony Probation Officer
for a Juvenile Court. As a longtime substitute
teacher Ramey understands why many of our
children are "latching on" to colors, guns, and
mayhem. Mike Ramey says that
winning the battle against modern street gangs (MSGs)
requires out-of-the-box thinking and solutions.
So we decided to interview Mr. Ramey in an effort to learn
more about gangs in America and how to combat this national
crisis.
The M.
G. Ramey Interview
BMIA.com:
Why are you so passionate about gang violence?
Mike Ramey:
First, let me say thank you for interviewing me. I’m in the
big time now, baby! Anyway, let me also say that I am
pro-color, because I am color. So, if some who read this
interview want to make accusations, just remember that some
of the most vicious gangs in American history were run and
maintained by more of the lighter hue than those of color.
Further, gangs are not a new phenomena. Now, what fired me
up about gang violence this time around was a NATIONAL
Juvenile Justice conference I attended back in 2003. One of
the main speakers at a seminar admitted that the juvenile
justice system had, literally, run out of money at ALL
levels AND that the next five to ten years would HAVE to be
spent in finding more ways to get parents involved in
disciplining their OWN children instead of running them to
court for every little problem. This was in 2003. Needless
to say, I was not happy because not only had parents been
sold a bill of goods, so had many of us who had been working
in juvenile justice as probation officers, counselors,
detention officers, etc. Up to that time, our training and
skills were sharpened to convince both wayward teens and the
public that the system ‘had’ the answers. Now, this comes
along, which reinforced a lot of what I had been feeling for
a long time; IF you don’t get the parent, or parents
involved, the teen will have problems…including gang
violence.
BMIA.com:
Tell us a little bit about your background and how you
became a soldier against gang violence?
Mike Ramey:
I’ve been bumping heads with this issue off and on for more
than 20 years. As a crime reporter in the 1980s, my home
city of Indianapolis, Indiana saw gang crime go off the
charts. There was plenty of bickering among politicians as
to whether or not we had actual ‘gangs’ in our city. Well,
after a study was done and verified the fact, then the
politicians and police HAD to act, and start locking these
Bangers up. Then in the 1990s, I did several print columns
when I made the jump into newspapers and did research with
some experts both in and out of Indiana. That was when I
found out about how vast the problem was, how girls were
starting to form their own gangs, how the ‘Gangbanger
funeral’ wasn’t just a joke, and how teens…OUR teens...were
entering gangs as some kind of job.
Now, after spending six years as a
juvenile probation officer working with the roughest of
juvenile criminals, I’ve seen teens younger than 13 getting
wrapped up in this madness, and the system isn’t having much
of a dent in breaking them up…at least in public. When I
received my national certification as a Street Gang
Specialist in 2006, it solidified, consolidated, confirmed,
and expanded a lot of stuff I already knew, and had seen
while working as a reporter, substitute teacher, pastor and
probation officer. That’s when THE GANG LINE became
more than just a thought; it became a business and now, and
added weapon of reaching out via the Internet.
BMIA.com:
Why do you think kids join gangs?
Mike Ramey:
I think that they join out of typical rebellion…BUT they get
far more than they bargained for. It is natural for young
people to rebel; to test their limits at home and in
society. However, when you have a society that is scared to
do its job, and parents being challenged every time they
want to properly supervise their OWN children, and taxes
going up to subsidize programs that have little in the way
of success, you can see what we are up against.
Then, you have the spiritual void.
Modern street gangs, in spite of all their faults and
dangers ‘represent’ a type of ‘religious void filler’ to a
lot of teen males and females. Prayers are prayed. Items are
held to be ‘holy’. Alms and support are provided for members
who have fallen defending the colors. The ‘no snitch’ code
has replaced the ‘love’ code put forth in the last
generation of gangs. There is a fraternal/sorority
‘excitement’ to become a member after initiation and
accepting your ‘new’ name, in front of your homies.
Gang structures are very rigid. The
gang bylaws or gang constitution is designed to break the
individual and mold them into being a gang soldier through
their own processing and involvement. Read one sometime if
you can get a hold of one…they clearly show what is expected
and demanded. Members LOVE such concrete expectations…but
forget that there is a high price tag at the end. It’s the
COST of being a gang member that most in society are
reluctant to comment on.
BMIA.com:
What are most people missing when it comes to recognizing
gang violence?
Mike Ramey:
The fact that teens who are involved are NOT stupid. They
copy the tactics used by gangs on video and in the movies,
some of them can be traced back to the Prohibition days of
the USA. In fact, teen bangers are highly intelligent, and
cold-blooded when it comes to performing violence. Remorse?
Many of them save it for court. They just ‘use’ their gifts
for crime…without thinking about the punishment. They
rehearse their ‘rap’ for authority figures, and many
authority figures are still ignorant of the fact that gangs
and gang members have changed their dynamic and have learned
how ignore criticism, and block questioning about their
activities.
Teen Gangbangers RESPECT those who
will have the guts to pull them over to the side, set them
down, and break down their reality. Sure, they’ll threaten,
but as an old solider myself, I know how to reach the
young--by putting the mirror UP to their faces and
explaining how fast life passes by. I had a 17 year old and
his parent in my office one afternoon, and spent about 20
minutes JUST on the subject of his priors, and lack of
attending school and how he was a functioning statistic
because he had missed three years of school and was too DUMB
to even qualify to get INTO a GED program…by his OWN
efforts! He was in TEARS! His parent hadn’t seen him cry in
public over his own shortcomings. That parent and child,
hopefully used those tears to get him to take responsibility
and rebuild his life.
BMIA.com: Share with us some
facts about gangs and gang related violence that we should
know.
Mike Ramey:
Gary, there are REAMS of information out there on this
particular subject. I tell those who come to my trainings
where to look and how to look for such information. However,
my BEST piece of artillery comes from, of all places, The
National Center for Policy Analysis. In a nutshell, a teen
who is involved street gang activity has a 25% chance of
being killed; they will be arrested at least six times; they
will suffer at least two non-life threatening injuries.
Also, they (gang members) value their lives far less than
the average teen.
BMIA.com:
What is the most shocking or jaw dropping thing you’ve seen
when it comes to gangs?
Mike Ramey:
Watching white kids use gang signs and ‘represent’
traditional Black and Hispanic gangs and the police and the
community let them ‘roll’ on, while coming down HARD on
Black and Hispanic gangs for doing the same thing. I’ve seen
white kids drop flags RIGHT in front of white cops, and the
cops will just roll on by like the kids are just talking
about a football game. There IS a double standard. The gangs
know it…and they play on it. Among Black probation officers
there is a saying that is true; THEIR kids get therapy, and
OUR kids get time.
Another shocker, this one involving
a young man who was on my caseload. I had to get a copy of
his grades from his middle school, as a part of the court
order for probation. The school gave me a copy of his report
card. He was an eighth grader for the second time and his
GPA was 0.0035. If his grades were being translated into an
EKG monitor strip, he would be one TICK away from DEAD.
BMIA.com:
Talk with us about girl gangs.
Girl bangers are going to be
covered in a separate column for the series, but I can tell
you this. I’m one of the few who dares to state on the
record that girl gangs can be traced back to the feminist
movement of the 1970s. You see, Black women and women of
color are not held to be equal by their white, feminist
sisters…UNLESS they ‘happen’ to serve a purpose to help ‘the
agenda’. Now, we are seeing the handiwork of the feminist
lie. More and more young Black and Hispanic women are
heading to jail and prison, and more and more young white
women are heading to therapy for the SAME offenses. Further,
the girls in gangs thing can be traced to a failure by women
to train their younger sisters. You have older female
relatives ‘helping out’ with some girl gangs in terms of
plotting hits and securing weapons, rather than teaching
these SAME girls how to cook, clean, and sew and secure an
education.
Girl gang members are adept at
using their fists, weapons, drugs, whatever it takes. They
are not above using the West Side Story model of ‘rolling in
with superior numbers’ in order to make a point. They are
not above posting ‘catfights’ on the Internet in graphic
detail…which makes them techno savvy. They have enough sense
in throwing gang signs one moment, and appearing innocent
the next. Yes, it takes a woman to reach a girl. Males in
the criminal justice system are not truly equipped to handle
girl bangers.
I’ve seen some female cops,
probation officers, and teacher break DOWN a swaggering teen
sister in rapid fashion using a nod, a change in tone, and
‘the look’. However, those women in law enforcement are
rare.
BMIA.com:
How young are some of these kids?
Mike Ramey:
According to the stats that I received and researched, there
are gang members who have been recruited as young as eight
or nine years old. Twenty years ago, gangs were actively
recruiting in high schools. Ten years ago, they started
recruiting members out of middle schools. Now, you have
gangs who have been recruiting kids from elementary schools
as far back as 2002. Among Hispanics, the recruiting age is
about the same, but, the dynamics are different because--and
I want folks to read this carefully--the patriarchy is still
firmly in place in the Hispanic community. Daddy still rules
the house, and the oldest male child is held to be in charge
until the father returns. They haven’t become ‘Americanized’
yet…but that day IS coming.
BMIA.com:
You have a unique perspective as a longtime substitute
teacher and probation officer. Where are things breaking
down?
Mike Ramey:
Things are breaking down in courts, with the police and with
government because they won’t tell the public the full truth
as to how bad and pervasive the gang situation is. The
government will raise taxes to ‘cover’ diversion of funds to
other non-essential areas, but these same officials won’t be
courageous enough to let the public know how bad it is on
the streets. Funny thing is, the public will spend $5
Billion Dollars to decorate, costume, secure candy and have
parties for Halloween, but the same public ‘stutters’ over
the need for society to free parents to get involved with
the raising of their own children.
The schools are just as bad.
Teachers are not being protected. Safety and security forces
are being cut back. Ignorance is being exalted, and social
promotion STLL continues even under NCLB. Until the parent
is allowed to be involved with the process, there will
continue to be problems. Then, on the other side of the
dynamic, we have Black parents who have ‘made it’ and gotten
their children in the ‘best’ schools…but have NOT followed
up in being accountable as parents and staying ON their kids
to study, work, sweat, and achieve. The mistaken impression
is that once our young Black kids get into a ‘good’ school,
that is the end of the rainbow. Balderdash! All this means
is that you’ve got more folk who are going to put pressure
on your child to achieve…because you can ‘afford’ to go to
their school. The rules for success have not changed. You
can’t get ahead, if you are Black, without an education. You
may be ‘socially promoted’, but you have not been
educated…IF you don’t make some decent grades.
BMIA.com:
Let’s keep it real and talk about some of these parents and
guardians. Tell us what you see.
We are seeing more and more
extended family members stepping up to serve the role as
parent, because for one reason or another the father OR
mother OR BOTH have decided to drop the kids and run. When I
was active with the court, I had grandmothers, grandfathers,
aunts, cousins, uncles and even older siblings and family
friends serving as parents. I also saw more and more single
mothers so wrapped up in man-chasing, drinking, drugging, or
who were locked up themselves and serving time. Add to this
the fact that teens who were in the system had, in some
cases, fathers who were in prison for a variety of crimes.
Gary, I’ll be honest. What
separates me from a lot of so called ‘experts’ on street
gangs is that I don’t pretend to be an expert; I’m a
specialist--I work on connecting the dots to come to a
conclusion or spotting trends, and pegging where gang
activity is heading. I can be wrong on a few things, but not
very many. All gang issues are local but have national ties
and implications. It doesn’t matter about the names of many
of the gangs we see…it’s the mindset. Once you understand
the mindset, you understand the particular gang because they
ALL operate the same way. If the parents understand the
basics, THEY become the ‘experts’ because they know--or
should know--their children better than the courts, the
cops, and the therapists.
BMIA.com:
What role should neighbors, churches and schools play in the
lives of our children?
Mike Ramey:
Encouraging unmarried singles to get married before having
sexual relations. There is a LOT of resentment in society
from kids whose parents never married. This is another
‘dirty little secret’ (DLS) that society does NOT want to
get out. A summer of love is always followed by a winter of
woe for those who don’t have the guts to get married, but
have the guts to have sex. I believe the aforementioned
should also encourage the parent to be a parent! Single
parents COULD be more than just statistics IF they stepped
up and determined that their children were NOT going to
become gang members. If this means that mother needs to stop
trying to ‘drink and chase’ with her friends every weekend
and spend some time teaching her daughter or son about the
‘birds and the bees’ or a proper education, then so be it!
The modern church--and I can speak
on this--has gotten soft, lazy, and uninvolved. We have
forgotten that in order to impact lives goes beyond drive by
prayer vigils, street marches for the cameras, and
‘declarations’ against gang violence. Gang bangers have
parents. If you walk BY the home, and don’t make the effort
to VISIT the homes in your community Mr. And Mrs. Church
Member and Mr. Senior Pastor, you won’t have the credibility
to demand change in society. The Bangers in my community
KNOW me on several different levels. The dynamic has
changed, fellow Christians; WE have to go up the next level
and get the parents of the wayward child some help--getting
them to complete their educations; getting parents to BRING
their children to church instead of the church picking up
the child; leading the parent/parents to Christ THEN
encouraging the parent to lead the children to Christ IN THE
HOME.
One other thing, there needs to be
a cessation of mentoring programs for young men and young
women. Encourage and support their parents to do their jobs.
Too many mentors, therapists, and counselors are being used
as well-paid baby sitters for the single parent, thus
letting them off the hook. ENOUGH!
BMIA.com:
Again, you were a part of the criminal justice system. How
is gang violence affecting black boys and young men?
Mike Ramey:
The true impact is the rising level of better excuses to
justify criminal behavior, from the hood to the suburbs.
Sadly, when I was actively attached to a court, it mattered
little the monetary location of the family, because more of
the Black families came from lower-middle to upper-middle
income homes. Now, there were some families who were Black
and Hispanic who were ‘poor’, but they were the exception,
and not the rule. Cops, Probation Officers and Parole
Agents, when dealing with juveniles…even young adults
involved in gang activity are having to help ‘train’ parents
(who were babies themselves) in what their role SHOULD be
when it comes to raising their children.
Some of our Black young men…and
their parents…are so warped in their thinking that this next
example will wake you up as to how bad it is. Brothers with
two strikes on them at between 23 to 26 years of age NOW
want to ‘warn’ their younger counterparts about the
‘dangers’ of gang activity as ‘public speakers’. The only
drawback is, this the only activity some of them can do,
because they have screwed up their lives with felonies to
the point that they would be unfit for work at McDonalds.
MOST of the public speakers in street gang programs that
have ‘real’ impact don’t have criminal backgrounds.
BMIA.com:
What are the signs of gang activity?
Mike Ramey:
The FIRST sign of gang activity in the individual is the
commission of a crime, and the starting of a juvenile
criminal record. Up to THIS point, it is all talk. Once
arrests start taking place, and trips to court, and payment
of court fees, the teen (male or female) gets their ‘gang’
name. The SECOND sign of gang activity is the increase in
LIES by the young person involved, followed closely by
skipping school, hanging out with less than trustworthy
friends USUALLY at night. The THIRD sign of gang activity is
the SECRETNESS of the teen involved, followed closely by the
arrival of new bruises, tattoos and ‘smells’ of liquor,
marijuana smoke, and flashing of cash money. Once it gets to
the third stage, the fight will be on by the parent to get
the child out of the mindset of the gang life.
As I do trainings and
presentations, I cover specific differences from the
religious standpoint. Many of the colors, signs, and numbers
used by gangs are rooted in the Bible, but have been twisted
in their use. Then, I also examine the cultural roots of
some of the Hispanic gangs and their involvement in Santeria
and other forms of saint worship. Some of THESE gangs, to
Christians IN law enforcement, actually CAST spells on case
workers, police officers, probation officers and judges in
order to ‘get’ their way. The use of witchcraft by these and
other gangs take the gang issue to another level and I’m one
of the few who addresses these types of issues.
BMIA.com:
In your opinion, does rap and hip-hop music play a role in
gang violence? If so, how?
Mike Ramey:
Rap/Hip Hop is the blueprint for gangs rising, gang
motivation, and gang recruitment. Put it this way; what
happens on the CD, MP3, and TV screen soon translates into
what is happening in the various communities. Here’s an
example, because I go into a longer discourse of Rap/Hip Hop
impact on gang recruitment; THIS year, there has been a
marked RISE in the number of Rap/Hip Hop videos featuring,
spotlighting, or having in the background children under the
age of 12 participating in the throwing of signs, riding in
banger cars, and dressing in smaller versions of the Rap/Hip
Hop stars. As a Probation Officer, I KNOW the curfew laws of
my jurisdiction like the back of my hand. When I see a pack
of teens walking around at 1-2-3 am on a school night, it
does not bode well for someone.
Another reason why Rap/Hip Hop is
such an indicator on gang activity is its quick assimilation
into the mainstream. We know that Rap/Hip Hop did not start
out this way, but we know that the mainstream does not
spread the ‘best’ about us in the first place. Just as there
is Speed Metal, Death Metal, and Thrash Metal as genres of
Heavy Metal Music, there is Porno Rap, Gangsta Rap, and
Destructo Rap in the genres of Rap/Hip Hop music--meaning
that the more that you listen to one of the ‘sub genres’,
the more likely you are to act out upon it, or USE it as an
excuse to inject yourself against what ‘the teen’ sees as
‘wrong’ in society. Gang members have to ‘consume’ many
hours of the genre EVERY day, must be able to ‘recite’ the
words of the song BACK to superiors IN the gang, then
sustain that train of thought on a regular basis.
It took MTV only 7 years, from 1984
to 1991 to take Rap/Hip Hop from the hood to the burbs.
Seventy percent of Rap/Hip Hop is consumed by the white
community…young white males, mainly. Now, let’s add this to
the equation. From roughly 1993 to 2001, Rap/Hip Hop was
HEAVILY exported out of the US and into the WORLD
marketplace. Before the end of that eight year cycle, there
were reports of Hispanic, Muslim, Japanese, British, Russian
and other teens acting out what they were hearing on MP3s
from 50 Cent, Jay Z, Queen Latifah, Usher, etc.
NOW we have gang problems being reported from the Equator to
the DMZ and everywhere in between.
BMIA.com:
What’s the impact of gang violence in the surrounding
communities?
Mike Ramey:
Briefly, a rise in denial by Black and white parents about
how deeply gang violence impacts their community. Stop and
think for a moment; a lot of gang violence is not even
covered by the MSM (mainstream press) because they have
stopped covering the community the way they USED to for the
sake of dollars and cents…and there has been little outcry
by the community about the lack of coverage. Right now,
there are FEWER Blacks males and females working in
newsrooms than who are working in Corporate America. Thus,
we have succeeded in the boardroom, but it is not being
reported to the community through the newsroom, and you have
young Black, Hispanic, and white teens in this ‘ain’t no
use’ train of thought.
Being a gang member is a state of
mind, fed by drugs, liquor, tobacco and music to maintain.
In order to be a true gang member, you have to commit
crimes. You have to steal, kill and destroy (and, yes I do
have a sermon on that, but not now--LOL) in order to impress
your fellow bangers and attempt to terrify the community at
large. Let me pose this to you; how many business
owners--EVEN dedicated brothers and sisters are going to
stay in the community after they have been robbed, pistol
whipped or WORSE? Now, add to this the fact that much of job
creation is tied to small business. Where are the jobs going
to come from if small businesses leave a community and NOT
return? That migration does NOT take all that long to
spread.
BMIA.com:
A parent or guardian believes that their child is part of a
gang what should they do?
Mike Ramey:
A quick solution is to ‘Shake em down, Break em down’,
and--if need be ‘Take em down’ to the nearest police
station. Shake em down; search their rooms, their backpacks,
their lockers on a regular basis to see what they are
‘holding’ for a friend. Check the types of clothes they are
wearing on the streets during school hours and after school
hours…is their ‘too much’ of one color over another? Wearing
too many of one type of sportswear? Bangers wear sports
jerseys and sports hats to ‘represent’, just like sororities
and fraternities and lodge members wear their organization
paraphernalia and colors to ‘represent’--for a different
reason. Check their exposed limbs for bruises, tattoos,
cuts, etc. While tattoos are on their way out as a means of
street gang ID, nevertheless, some smaller gangs in smaller
communities still require them as a ‘proof’ of being in the
gang.
Next, parent/guardian…Break em
down. Put them in a chair and grill them as to who they’ve
been hanging with. Do they KNOW the REAL names of their
friends, or do they only know them as Lil G, JL, or Spyder?
Does your child have their OWN little ‘moniker’ on the
street. Give them the 3rd degree about their
grades, their career choices, etc. Then, keep talking to
them day in and day out about the need for an education, a
need to keep a clean criminal record, a need to keep
themselves sexually pure and morally pure for marriage.
Lastly, let them know in no
uncertain terms that you, parent/guardian are prepared for
war on this matter. No matter how tough the gang talks, let
your child and their gangbanging buddies know that IF you
find contraband, it…and your child…will be going to the
police at the FIRST sign of gang activity. DON’T let the
cops knock on your door at 3am; knock on their door at 8am
if your child is involved. Better you take them than the
cops come to take them from you. Once a parent puts their
foot down and means it, a lot of that stuff seems to
evaporate.
Here’s a tip for single parents;
society, the church, and the schools have been lying to you
about how ‘weak’ you are. ANY parent can get back into the
game IF they are more concerned about their children than
they are about themselves. I’ve seen single parents refuse
to lay down at the whim of society and actually better
themselves and better their children by remembering who was
in charge. Society WANTS to see your child in the system,
parents…because they represent money and job security. I
used to thank some of my clients for being ignorant enough
in their criminal ways to pay for my next vacation. If they
stopped committing crime and actually went to school, mama
and daddy would have to see their tax dollars hiring more
and more cops, and counselors. Taxes would be going down…not
up; and violence would be going down as well. Parents, it is
UP to YOU!
M. G. RAMEY is
the Pastor of ‘The Forward Church,’ of Indianapolis, Indiana. He is also a
Juvenile Court Probation Officer, Street Gang Specialist/Certified and
Cult/Occult Researcher.
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SAGGING PANTS & THE REAL BLACK DEAL
Is it me, or has the 'sagging & bagging' issue
been getting a few folk HOT 'under the collar'? I've had the chance to 'read' a
host of the so called 'wisdom' on the issue of sagging pants. Let me toss in my
.02 from the perspectives of being a Gang Specialist and having served in the
capacities of Teacher and Probation Officer/Juvenile--Felony Level.
While SEVENTY PERCENT of Rap/Hip Hop Music is
BOUGHT by WHITE TEENS and YOUNG WHITE ADULTS, GUESS who is getting harassed
about 'sagging pants'? More and more of the urban school districts in America
are adopting uniforms to 'curb' the problem. More and more local and state
lawmakers are 'slamming' teens for this 'social statement' in an 'effort' to
'curb crime'. Guess who is getting 'hammered' on such wear by BLACKS in
education, government, and the law?
It AIN'T the WHITE KIDS.
Let's throw some strikes on this topic. Think
back, Black Parents and Black Grandparents when Swing and Motown came out? Who
were the ones 'sneaking into' the Black clubs to 'absorb' our culture and music?
Hmmm? Now, look at the landscape of complaining today. I'm not hating, I am
stating. I'm not a racist, but a realist!
IT IS THE WHITE KIDS!
The young, white establishment grabs and mimics
the exotic then, after all of the 'juice' (race
identification) has been wrung out (or twisted) it is
cast into the mainstream, and they 'grow up'. The only difference is that nobody
is picking on other 'races'.
Educators and Cops are not 'wholesale' slapping around
whites who mimic the behavior, but those whom THEY 'perceive' originated the
behavior are getting rousted.
I don't care what kind of grades a young Black
man or a young Black woman are making. Since many of us have NOT 'pooled our
money' and 'built the economic infrastructure of many of our communities', the
MAJORITY community WILL determine whom and HOW they will interact, based upon
APPEARANCE. At 11pm at night when OUR TEENS are 'sagging and hootchying' on the
public street corner, a GED or High School Graduated Jackie Law white cop with a
badge and a gun operates on perception is reality. He may 'hang' with Blacks
and Latinos after his shift, and he may have (like the Michael Bolton character
from the hit film 'Office Space') a COLLECTION of HARD CORE Hip Hop in his
private vehicle. He MAY even have a Black or Latino woman as his girlfriend or
wife. But, once the uniform goes on and the shift starts, guess WHO is the
ENEMY?
Same thing with 'Sally Saddleshoes' white school
teacher, who is in the public schools and in her first few years of teaching;
yes, she danced to Rap in the college bars (possibly sans her top...but I
digress); yup, she can SHOUT OUT the lyrics in her car with her other academic
functioning male and female 'buddies'; she may even have some Dr. Dre in her CD
player or MP3. But from 9 to 5, she is interested in upholding the 'system'
against the 'barbarian hordes'.
She wants her college education loans paid. She is in
'survival' mode (because the system has programmed fear into her about 'certain'
kids) and 'going along to get along' (so she may 'advance in her career', and
eventually move to a better school district).
Oh, I've been employed in these professions,
once upon a time. I've seen it, up close and personal. For those who don't
believe what I am saying, then that's just too bad. Truth is still truth,
whether or not you have experienced it.
Black Parent and Black Grandparent, hear me out.
THE REAL BLACK DEAL? OUR teens NEED to re-learn how to dress for success, rather
than dress to be a mess in order to survive economically in a land that may send
mixed signals about success, but is DEAD UP IN IT concerning 'the unwritten
dress code'. Sagging equals ECONOMIC pain...EVEN from BLACK employers.
One thing that is true; the parent or
grandparent who 'lets' their child set the tone for what the child will or will
not do is a FOOL, and is RAISING a statistic. Just in the last 12 months, I
have had a former client murdered, the mother of a former client murdered, and
another former client NOW, as BARELY adult, facing a murder rap. All THREE of
these individuals were given their options well before their troubles by yours
truly and others. They 'convinced' the adult authority figure in their lives
that 'they' knew best about 'life' and how to 'dress'.
They are JUST as DEAD or in HOT WATER because
they DID not LISTEN.
The Bible says that: "The way of the
transgressor is hard." Put simply, those who mock God's authority line, or
those whom He determines to be part of His authority line (parents,
grandparents, cops, courts, teachers, judges) will have a HARD way to go. Yes,
on TV it may be CUTE to have folk mouth off to authority figures, but the REAL
DEAL is jail bars are JUST as hard to serve as a 'wake up call' to those in real
life who want to try it!
Children need leadership, guidance, and truth
from older family members. The REAL DEAL in America right now is that society
is SHIFTING BACK concerning casual dress. In the late 1990s, Casual Dress began
to be 'phased out' of the corporate climate. Next, Hampton Unviersity (a Black
University) demanded that it's MBA students started coming to class in business
casual attire. Recently, a WHITE college's undergraduate Business program
ordered their students to shuck the 'low riders' for business casual attire to
be 'ready' for interview, internships, etc. In other words, if you DRESS
professional, you will likely ACT professional AND you will be perceived as a
professional by the status quo. Even COPS know better than to use a PR-24 on a
well-dressed young Black man or young Black woman because...here's the 'ta-da'...they
remind them of their OWN children!
The REAL DEAL? Yup, being played out RIGHT in
front of us! Teachers, sadly, do NOT have a dress code, for the most part.
Some of THEM don't have the morals of alley cats, and allow their students (some
of them our children) to 'slouch' their way through the education process to
weaken the recruitment pool building up against their nieces, nephews and
children. Law Enforcement (which includes Probation, Parole and Corrections
Officers) has a dress code...and are trained to spot those who don't obey the
code. The first person who 'looks' like a criminal, or 'out of place' is the one
who is stopped.
THAT'S THE REAL BLACK DEAL, BABY!
SOME Black Parents and Black Grandparents talk a
good game when it comes to what our teens SHOULD be doing, EXCEPT when it comes
to the excuses they OFFER for the TEENS in their own HOUSEHOLDS!!! SOME Black
Parents and Black Grandparents STILL hold that it is a TRAGEDY for ANOTHER BLACK
CHILD to be caught gang banging, but 'their' little 'darling' was 'innocent'.
MOST COPS operate on the principle: "IF It walks
like a duck...." They ALSO operate on the term: "Justifiable Homicide"
(Well, your Honor, he/she LOOKED like a gang banger...so I HAD to shoot! How was
I supposed to know that he/she was an Honor Student?????)
Let's take a trip back into time. Sagging Pants
were BORN in PRISONS! They were done that way so as to IDENTIFY those inmates
who were either ADVERTISING for HOMOSEXUAL favors, OR LETTING the GP.
(Population) know that they would be willing for a
QUICKIE. Check it out for yourselves with other family members who had done
time in the JOINT. When this FACT is passed on to the sagging thugg of today,
their response is a blank stare and 'SO'??? However, the REST of society
REMEMBERS the CODE! Recently a member of the US Senate had to RESIGN in
disgrace because he had sent some signals to a Vice Cop in a public restroom.
You think that YOUR child won't be judged by the clothing that they wear?
When you have teens consuming MASS quantities of
Hip Hop videos, coupled with BLACK outlets such as BET, RADIO ONE, etc. putting
forth the WORST that there is to offer, and EXPORTING the 'Beautiful Lie'
into the MSM and the AROUND the world, why do you think
there is a problem in us RESPECTING ourselves?
We are so 'wrapped up' in this 'give a brother or sister
a pass' that we have 'accepted' the criminal, and have 'disregarded' the honest,
hard working, and talented. How SICK is this? Rather, 'What's written on the
BUTT of YOUR daughter's jeans?'
Hey, this is just my .02. But, take it from me;
this 'sagging' mentality has spread to the courts, the schools, and the
churches. MANY of our young people are IGNORANT of our culture and history and
FEW BLACK PARENTS have the guts to confront them with the fact that "African
Americans came from Kings and Queens...NOT from the gutter!"
THE REAL BLACK DEAL? Are you raising your teen
to be a success, or a statistic? If the former, you have my support. If the
latter, you have my sympathy, because you WILL be attending a LOT of funerals.
Society is shifting away from the 'casual'.
look, and Black Parents, Black Grandparents, and Black
Teens need to shift away from the excuses.
To let the inmates to not only run the asylum;
but to die in it to protect some teen's 'feelings' or shield them from reality,
or allow them to nuture a warped dream of fashion sense at the expense of common
sense and racial pride is not only wrong; it is suicidal! And...guess who picks
up the tab for allowing the illusion to continue?
ALL of us...and that's the REAL BLACK DEAL!
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The Hot Ghetto Mess (HGM) Controversy--Misplaced
Outrage?
By Mike Ramey
When is the best time to kill an idea?
At its infancy!
The controversy surrounding HGM and BET is truly sad, just as much as the
controversy surrounding Bill Cosby, Charles Barkley, and others who have the
guts to speak out on the problems within our own community. There are those who
have the courage to speak, and, of course, there are those who want to silence
the truth.
But wait...there's more!!!!
When the former head of one major BLACK organization had the 'audacity' to come
down on Rap Music & Hip Hop Culture a few years back, efforts were made to shame
this woman. Now, because we have seen the problems caused by such music, and the
ten years of further damage done to Black men and Black women.
In the words of Rush Limbaugh: "The trail blazers are the ones who take the
arrows!"
Now, we have a lot of 'Black Trash' on VH1 and MTV. Where is the outrage from
'the community'? Oh, I see; it's 'not suspect' when the checks are pocketed by
'the hood'...no matter how much Flav and Monique are the new Steppin Fetchit and
Ain't Jamima.
HGM shows the end result of wrong actions and wrong behavior without the
'Hollywood Photoshop' that many are used to. If Min. Scott and others want to
cheer the pounding on HGM and BET, why don't you take on the REAL Culprits...the
folk at VH1 and MTV.
Remember; SEVENTY PERCENT of the Rap/Hip Hop culture is consumed by WHITE
MALES...many of them the skinny, geeky 'Michael Bolton' types
from 'Office Space', who will put up Snoop Dog posters, and Blast NWA CDs in
their cars, but are still SCARED of people of color.
The Mrs. and I were watching one network the other night on cable. Parliament/Funkadelic
was BLASTING out in one commercial. Back in the 1970s when George Clinton, etc.
were hot in the hood, WHITE FOLK HATED their music. Now, P-Funk is the
soundtrack in commercials, just as so many other 'hated' music offerings from
the Disco era.
Please...let's not do massahs work for them.
HGM MAY be the way, on the tube to sicken us to the point that folk WILL do
better....VH1 and MTV still treat Blacks and Browns as their latest pets...and
few BET blacks take them on at their game.
Mike Ramey The Manhood Line
manhoodline@yahoo.com
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GANG BANGERS VS. THE MODERN PARENT
SETTING PARENTS FREE--TO BE IN CHARGE
BY MIKE RAMEY
As I hung my copy of the ‘Street Gang Specialist’
certificate on my office wall, I paused to reflect upon the
effort it took. Three days of no-nonsense classroom
training; two nights of extensive homework, and a written
test that would have reduced many a college student to
tears. When the smoke cleared and the certificates were
handed out, yours truly had proudly picked up another tool
for his arsenal. Of course, my superiors were not happy that
I had received such advanced training…but I’ll not digress
any further on that point.
I didn’t have to wait very long to put the new
training to good use. Within two weeks, some of the more
obvious bangers on my caseload began to ‘duck’ (street term
for hiding) their colors before my office appointments.
Clients who had been used to coming in dressed to
‘represent’ their ‘favorite street flavor’ received a tip
about one P.O. getting ‘wise’ to their game AND calling them
on it. Other lesser ‘risk’ female clients and their
parents were sent as spies by their banger boyfriends to
‘check out’ my new certification and report back whether or
not it was real so the word could be passed on to their
friends.
Next, to further frustrate client rebellion,
authority figures in their lives--be they mother, father,
legal guardian, or foster parent--also received a quick
course from yours truly in the arts of banger spotting and
stopping. They were encouraged to check their OWN child from
head to toe. I reminded parents that their child was NOT
born in Juvenile Court, but was THEIR child; and that their
darling was heading further into the deep water of the
street gang realm. Many parents had no clue (at least that
they were willing to admit) that their beloved child was
slipping further into the gang life. However, more than a
few of my parents left the office with a spring in their
step at being encouraged to become parents again.
WHY PARENTS NEED TO BE EMPOWERED AND INFORMED:
Some of my ‘hardcore’ clients were actually
attending school and getting their grades up. Probation
violations on my caseload went way down as some of the
parents of my clients--perhaps for the first time in
years--were overjoyed that someone had encouraged them to BE
parents.
This is what I believe it will take to get a grip on
the modern street gang problem; truly empowering and
informing parents as to their duty in supervising their OWN
children AND giving them the tools needed to get the job
done AT HOME. This observation, of course, put me at odds
with many of my colleagues in the criminal justice
system--but that’s another story for another day.
The Modern Street Gang (or MSG for short) have seven
‘eyes’ that are designed to instill fear, silence parents
and win young converts: Infiltration, Intimidation,
Information, Instigation, Ignorance, Instability, and an
Insatiable appetite for wrongdoing. However, let’s be
honest. A child--even a teenager--wants a parent to be a
PARENT and not a ‘buddy’. The years, the parent who dares to
discipline and dares to balance concern with the rod IS the
one that even the toughest of street thugs secretly admires.
Mama’s voice and Daddy’s belt are still MORE effective than
the cop’s nightstick or a judge’s gavel.
But, I digress.
Society has--for its own economic concerns--quietly
pushed parents off of their thrones. The revolution against
meaningful parenting has been accomplished. Parents have
become relegated to nothing more than walking wallets and
purses, expected to take their orders and cues from those
who know better, whether the ‘experts’ be on Madison Avenue,
the small screen, or on a basketball court.
BACK IN THE DAY OF MOM AND DAD KNEW BEST:
There USED to be an institution called ‘the family’
which birthed children who were raised in a place called
‘the home’, NOT a court of law. In the Black
community--unlike other communities--two-career families
were a matter of survival. Day care was provided by a nice
neighbor--often another stay-at-home mother or a
grandmother. In those days, mother and father were tough;
single parents were tougher, and the extended family was
MURDER. There were no ‘plea-bargains,’ no appeals, no
alibis. Chores were work to earn an allowance. Everyone
worked together for the good of the home.
Sassing your parent was not tolerated. Lastly, if you
cut up at school, in the street, or at a neighbors house,
you got it there--and you got it at home. No it was not
perfect…but it had worked for more than 1900 years.
Who were we to come up with something better?
A swarm of social reformers, school experimenters,
and government experts in the mid-1960s led to the creation
of a new set of industries. They eventually grew, evolved,
and developed budgets, personnel, and grant needs. Next,
social workers, police officers, probation/parole officers,
and medical personnel were put IN schools, while parents
were not ‘allowed’ to be as involved as they USED to be in
the school setting, except to ‘help’ raise money to pay for
school programs AND the salaries of these extra ‘helpers’.
Parental authority was removed in the disciplining of
children. Fathers were marginalized, then declared optional.
Single parenting was held to be the ‘way’ to go. Children
were encouraged to become little adults, with big rights and
plenty of ‘freedom’ without responsibility. Education?
Changed from the traditional, to the experimental. Open a
book in school, teacher, is not held to be ‘cool’. Turn on
Channel One or ESPN, and you could have your classes
‘riveted’--but not necessarily learning.
THE CHURCH AS AN ACCOMPLICE TO THE SOCIAL MAYHEM:
I recall a chat I had a few years ago with a local
pastor on the subject of evangelism. He was the pastor of a
small church, but he was surrounded by several good sized
apartment complexes, along with a high school and other
assorted middle income neighborhoods. When I looked at the
size of his church, and the fields of people in his
immediate area awaiting to learn about his church, I asked
him if he or his congregation had tried to evangelize the
apartments nearby.
“We tried--and failed.” Noted the pastor.
Sad to say, a new pastor replaced him a few years
later.
One of the unsung accomplices to the social mayhem we
see in our streets now--in my view--is the modern church. It
boils down to the fundamentals of what a church IS from a
biblical perspective to how the church has ‘evolved’ to get
along with the modern world. The church is supposed to
be a supporter OF the family, instead of its enemy. If one
reads the Bible, it clearly shows that the first institution
created by God was that of marriage; the second was the
family. Further down the list came the church. If the order
was good enough for God, why have so many churches stepped
away from His blueprint? Simple; the twin idols of money and
numbers.
How do I dare make such a statement? Let’s examine
recent church innovations and programs. Sunday school has
become the ‘drive by drop offs’ program for parents who are
never invited to stick around. Youth departments had
ministers and staff who were more concerned about putting on
good shows for the teens to pad/build ministry resumes…but
did not encourage nor parents how to bond with their
children. Teens in these ministries may had been encouraged
to be proud of their parents and respect their authority,
but little was done to follow up on such encouragement. Oh
yes, attached to each of these ‘innovations’ are the
instructions of ‘big name’ church leaders (male and female)
who claim to have the inside track to ‘boost’ attendance…but
not holiness nor commitment to biblical doctrine. How could
a mere parent or parents hope to ‘compete’ with marquis
quality church leaders who have taken the time to lend their
expert advice to a local church?
MOM AND DAD ARE MAKING A COMEBACK:
Of course, let us not put the entire blame on the
other institutions of society without placing a share on
parents themselves. Again, Back in the 1960s and 1970s when
I was coming of age, two parent families were the norm, and
two career households were a matter of survival in the Black
community.
How do fathers and mothers NOW fill their time? They
have become programmed to chasing the gold, the glitz, and
the glamour of modern society. Folk, in other words, learned
quickly how to ‘use people, worship things, and idolize
more’. Houses became bigger, but were not homes; marriage
vows were shredded, but were replaced with new husbands and
new wives; jobs were paid better, but were located further
and further away from home. Since Mom and Dad had spent much
of a generation abandoning and abdicating their God-given
roles, the trap was sprung for their eventual replacement by
the social planners.
All is NOT lost…and I’ll explain why.
Mom and Dad are making a comeback, as parental
authority is ‘cool’ again.
To be honest, brave couples and single parents have
already been taking a national stand against the rigors of
the ‘name and fame’ crowd; the courts, schools, and
government to recapture the rights once common to ALL
parents. The revolution is already underway as the ‘system’
can not afford to continue to supervise children who do NOT
belong to them. Bankruptcy of the system was the needed
spark to bring parents back in from the PC wilderness.
Parents CAN make a comeback IF they want to. The
prize--their children--is far to great to be abandoned to
the gang warlords of our modern era.
IS YOUR CHILD LEANING TOWARDS OR LEADING A GANG?
Parents understand and know their children--or, they
should know them. Society’s first line of defense IS the
home; not the social program, the cop, or the school. The
home is where a parent can be honest about their child.
Let’s be bottom line about this next matter: Is your
child leaning towards or leading a gang? Surprisingly, some
of the top teen lieutenants in modern street gangs are quite
comfortable in leading a ‘double life’ at home, and their
mother or father are the last to know what is going on UNTIL
either the police or rival gang members are pounding on the
front door, guns drawn.
Gangs and gang members operate on secrecy and lies as
their PRIMARY calling cards. The only way that a parent can
gain an upper hand is to check their OWN child’s potential
for involvement. A proviso must be added at this point; IF
your child is found to be involved, and they have sworn to
you they aren’t--but you secretly know that they are-- the
parent ONLY has TWO options: Turn the child, and the
evidence you find over to the authorities for a good, strong
dose of reality for the sake of your teen. Second, secure
the services of a lawyer to make sure your child isn’t
‘tagged’ by the cops with every major crime that has taken
place in your city over the last year. Yes, I know that this
may seem to be cruel and heartless. When it comes to gangs
and their members, there is an old street adage: “Whosoever
gets to the DA/Prosecutor first, gets the BEST deal!” It is
far better for you and your child to be on the right side of
the justice bar, rather than being on the wrong side.
In case you need another ‘refresher’, let me give
you my own short list as to how gang life is designed to
‘hurt’ the modern teen:
*Academically: School Is Sacrificed (stuff that you need) To
Fill Your Head With Stuff You Don’t Need. (Each Day Missed
Equals 3 To Make Up)
*Mentally: Takes A Lot Of Mental Energy To Memorize/Study
Signs, Symbols Codes, Constitution, Bylaws & To Keep ALL
That Stuff SECRET!
*Physically: Late hours, smoking, drinking, drug use,
possible STDs, juvie/jail/prison.
*Emotionally: Death of fellow bangers; Injury to your OWN
family members.
*Socially: Ages 12-17 are the Times Of Greatest Development
and Skill Building. Not To Mention The Fact That You Are
Involved With The Scum Of The Universe.
*Spiritually: Praying prayers To An Organization Who Not
Only Can Not Help You, But Can Not Help Themselves Or Their
Community.
*Economically: You Can’t List Being A Gang Member On A
Resume; You MAY Have ‘Some’ Of The ‘Skills’ But Can’t Hone
Them To Be Openly Successful.
WHAT AND WHERE--A PARENT MAY START LOOKING:
Please keep in mind that MSGs are recruiting
children as young as seven or eight into their ranks as
beginning members. Remember that list of the ‘eyes’ of gangs
I provided earlier? Ignorance is on that list for a reason;
parents are often the last to know about what their child is
doing. Here is a short list of a few ways you can stop the
violence by stopping your ignorance of your child’s
activities:
Check & Maintain Contact With Other Parents.
Check Youth For Tattoos, Marks/Bruises.
Check Backpacks For Clothing Items, ‘Extra’ Cash.
Check School Locker For ‘Alternative’ Clothing.
Check Notebooks For ‘Gang Graffiti’ (signs/symbols)
Check For Cough Syrup/Mouthwash/Inhalants.
What about their room? Here is another short list
of things to look for, especially if your teen already has a
separate computer, cell phone, and entertainment system:
Weapons/Cash/Drugs/Excess Property--Drop Zone?
Gang Signs On Walls/In Art/In Notebook?
Look For ‘Secret’ Drawers Behind/In Furniture
Check Vents, Upper/Lower Closets, Under Beds
Strange Smells & Heavy Use Of Air Fresheners
Different Sports Jerseys BUT Same Number /Color
Combinations?
If your teen is already on active on Probation or
Parole, they will have a host of restrictions placed upon
them by the court. They must obey the orders of the court
and the terms of their probation or parole. Thus, they need
to be aware of curfew rules, and stay away from other teens
who may have drugs, weapons, or both. Remember, a teen may
be found not guilty/not true of a crime…but if they are on
Probation or Parole, they can be found guilty/true of a
Probation or Parole violation because the court has informed
them…in writing and through their PO/PA about the terms of
their time under the jurisdiction of the court.
Let me add another item here for parental
consideration.
It is called ‘waiver’.
This popular tool of the juvenile justice system is
active in a host of jurisdictions and simply means that your
child could be sent ‘downtown’ to be processed and tried as
an adult IF certain adult crimes are committed. In my neck
of the woods, if a child is sixteen years old and commits
one of the ‘Big 10’ crimes as a juvenile, they are sent, or
‘waived’ downtown. Yes, the teens think it increases their
‘street rep’ to stand trial as an adult. What they don’t
realize is that their conviction as an adult WILL put adult
charges on their files and put them in PRISON….not jail…for
a number of years.
Now that you know the risks, it is important that
parents also are aware of WHO their children hang around
with by their REAL names…not their street names. If a child
can’t tell you the real names of their friends, where they
live, or who their parents are, these are teens your teen
does not need to be around.
I realize that parents have a lot of information to
process in this column. This is an ongoing series to help
parents gain a firm foundation on the issue of gangs. Not to
scare the parent, but to keep them informed as to what is
happening in our streets--before they receive that unwelcome
late-night knock on their door.
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MASSA IS BACK--ON A NEW PLANTATION !
A few years back, a local news story got my attention. Two mothers--with a total of five children between them--decided to
leave their respective apartments and meet with a third woman for a ‘Girls Night
Out’ at a local bar. Mother number one had a nine year old watching her other
child; mother number two had an eleven year old watching her two young siblings.
According to published accounts, about one o’clock in the morning, the nine year
old began screaming for his mother. Of course, the concerned neighbors called
the police. After a bit of investigation and waiting, the two mothers came
staggering home drunk--and were promptly arrested and their kids were turned
over to Child Welfare workers.
One Rap Video offerings flashed on my TV recently which reminded me of this story. Interestingly enough, a young, vivacious mother walked out the door of her house, to jump into
a ‘tricked up car’ with some of her girlfriends to head ‘out on the town’. This
‘hip mother’ left her pre-teen daughter to care for the house, while she hit the
streets to ‘get her roll on.’
Welcome to the electronic plantation. Massa IS back in town.
Gone are the whips, chains, and beatings of old. Old man cotton may be gone, but
has been ‘replaced’ with Nu Skool rap tracks, sagging and bagging ‘gangsta’
style of individuals of our OWN race, and the ever present whip of the ‘No
Snitch Code’.
You never HEARD of this term? HOW can I call this SLAVERY?
Well, IF you remember your history (or have read the Willie Lynch letters) Black
slaves were treated/handled thusly:
*Men and women were pitted against one another for leadership.
*Education was held to be ‘useless’ and ‘illegal’ by Massa.
*Entertainment was held to be higher than Empowerment.
*Children were thrust into adult situations to force them to grow quicker.
*Marriage was discouraged & families were broken up quickly.
*Men were ‘coddled’; Women were ‘cauterized’.
*Color, Class, Economics--even Religion were used as weapons.
Am I getting through?
Sadly, the results of this new plantation abound.
The statistics and body counts are piling up in schools, juvenile facilities and prisons across the country. Expulsions, suspensions, and dropout rates among young Black males--and
now Black females--continue to march upward. Street gang recruitment is reportedly starting at the grade school level in some parts of
the country. Lastly, our modern day ‘massas’ are completely without shame in
playing the ‘race’ card and the ‘sex’ card--as effectively as the slave owners
of old. And, Yes, there WERE Black slave owners ‘down south’.
On the electronic plantation, the chains are made of INVISIBLE materials. Sound
waves, rap tracks, and infrared scanning; MP3s, CD, turntables, vinyl sound
cards.
Many of the ones with the lash today were freed by the Civil Rights struggles of
yesterday. They are full aware of the Black churches of yesterday were strong and the center of our communities. The new massas have infiltrated and corrupted the Black church, making her weak and allowing everything from hip hop ministries, to full
blown crunk services in its doors. Many of the religious symbols that some of us
hold dear have been incorporated into the ‘gangsta’ and ‘hip hop’
lifestyle--from crosses to Bible verses.
NEW TOOLS--OLD SLAVE OWNER MINDSET?
It’s OK to have ‘religion’ on this plantation--as long as it ‘persuades’ you to serve the Hip-Hop/Rap ‘massas’ in a more ‘docile’ mindset.
They ‘like’ religion; just not ‘good’ religion.
They ‘like’ holiness, purity, and virtue--during the daylight hours.
They ‘like’ the Bible…as long as you don’t read it, live it, nor believe it.
Oh yes--the new hymn; the new ‘field song’? Dollars matter--lives DO NOT.
Now, there are more than likely some who may think that I’m being a little
harsh. Comparing Hip-Hop/Rap to the ‘plantation’? In public? On the printed
page?
“Well,” some may be thinking as the smoke is pouring from their ears, and they
are snapping their fingers, “this is the music for OUR generation!”
Balderdash! Music is one thing, but murder, child abuse, and sexual immorality are something else. For the life of me, I can still
remember the Isley Brothers saying “Fight The Power”, not “Off Some Cops”.
But, I digress.
Let me provide a few quick examples regarding life on the old plantation and
today’s modern electronic counterpart--based upon my travels and interaction
with young people.
RULES OF THE ‘NEW’ PLANTATION:
First, the electronic plantation--like its older ancestor--has a specific language, which must be used by the participants in
order to be considered a ‘legitimate’ member. The deliberate misspelling of simple words, or the insertion of symbols where letters belong may not ‘look right’ on an employment application or a high
school exam...but so what? Education is held to be something for losers.
Second, the electronic plantation--like its older ancestor--has a specific
rivalry pattern determined by the ‘high tech massas’ (accountants, producers,
clothing designers, talent scouts, television/video executives) of the Hip Hop/Rap industry. Only ‘certain’ members of the genre are cleaned up (criminal charges disappear, drug/sex appetites go into the closet, mainstream language used), covered up (clothing, hairstyle,
traditional morals are put forth) and ushered out for public consumption in the
mainstream. These new ‘HouseRappers’ are constantly held up as the people to
emulate. Meanwhile, the ‘FieldRappers’ are still struggling in the business,
still chase and emulate the ‘bling’, and still mangle, curse, and shoot. Some of
them are ‘held up’ to emulate as well.
Y’all KNOW who you are. Why should I give you ‘free pub’?
MALE AND FEMALE ‘MASSAS’:
Let me interject a point of information. A ‘high tech massa’ does not have to be of one particular race, or one particular sex. There are a host of Black ‘massas’ --male and female--firmly embedded into the Hip-Hop/Rap business.
Unfortunately, they never see the ‘success’ of their ventures…lining either the
jailhouse, or the morgue. Once more, they keep THEIR children AWAY from their
‘art’.
But, let us march on. Third, the electronic plantation--like its older ancestor--is only concerned with the wealth
generated; not the lives obliterated. The general public rarely sees--or
hears--about the dangers of ‘too much consumption’ of the plantation
wares--unless a death results. Crime rates, OOW births, STDs, lowered literacy
rates, dropout rates, etc. are thought of as being ‘unfortunate problems’ of
society, but can never be laid at the doorstep of the ‘high tech massas’ home.
Up to this point, I’ve mentioned three similarities to the old plantation system. This fourth point is even a bit more twisted, and I have to go back to the old plantation system once
again. Massa just is not all that willing to have a stake of truth inserted.
Some folk have been on the electronic plantation for so long that they not only
refuse to leave, they make big money by bringing in ‘newer human performing’
slaves--at younger and younger ages. Independent producers and recruiters use
money from the drug or gang trade to put unsuspecting ‘performers’ up on the
auction block of fame and public recognition. Now we have middle school children
being ‘shuttled’ from one venue to another--sometimes on school nights--to let the public get a ‘taste’ of a future electronic slave. “Hang the curfew laws and getting up early for school mama; your own Lil G can
be the next Hip Hopper on a box of GRITS! Just let ‘us’ take him around to the
sites tonight!”
THE WAY OFF--BEGINS WITH THE MIND:
Several friends of mine who are still in the education game let me know that they have students who have made straight
Fs--repeatedly--and are not phased by their poor academic performance. Of
course, these same students have the latest electronic toys--BUT you can’t get
some of them to carry paper, pencils or textbook to their classes.
That is--IF they decide to go.
It was MORE than forty years ago that the Civil Rights movement really made it into the public consciousness. However, it was TEN years after this--in New York City--when the Hip-Hop/Rap genre was born. Ten years LATER, in
1984, Hip-Hop/Rap started to smooth out its appeal and presentation enough to go
mainstream on Black/Urban radio stations. By 1994, the MTV/Hip-Hop/Rap
connection was starting to bond. Today, the electronic plantation is doing a booming business, with ignorance being held as a highly sought virtue--and the ‘breeding
stock’ of new talent is endlessly trotted across MTV, BET, and other music video
screens and C.D. cases--while 70 percent of this product is purchased by WHITE
males.
There is only ONE way to be free of the electronic plantation.
It’s called ‘Escape through Deliverance.’ AKA--Bankrupt the massas!
Like a cigarette smoker, alcoholic, or drug addict has to put up a major league fight to truly break their habit, those who truly want off of the electronic plantation must ALSO WANT to be delivered from Massa and his/her crew.
How?
It starts with a reduction of consuming the offerings from the plantation.
It means having the guts to invest some of your disposable income into things that will uplift your family, instead of tear it down. It starts with focusing the long term vs. the short term. It continues with the realization that there is more to life than what comes through some headphones and C.D. players, or from a
television screen. It continues with the firm realization that there are
consequences for actions taken, relationships neglected and responsibilities
avoided.
It ends when one is not only free; that one has the courage to free others.
The clock, though, continues to tick away…as newer methods of enslavement are
discovered and practiced. Once upon a time, it was ‘forbidden’ to show
elementary-school aged children involved in Hip-Hop/Rap productions. That taboo has been broken.
More and more videos are showing eager and anxious children participating in
everything from the throwing of gang signs, to mimicking the crotch grabbing and
butt shaking moves of their older siblings--all in full view of the
photographer’s camera. In some segments of the community, that would
constitute child abuse.
On the electronic plantation, this is merely business as usual.
Is it any wonder we’re seeing more young people facing the prison and the unemployment line rather than the school, the church, or the family? They aren’t interested in the long term; interested in know that if you get a
criminal record NOW, you won’t be able to get much of a job LATER.
Firing a few people for saying a few things on the airwaves only seems to enrich and empower the wicked and the exploiters. MANY of
them have a plan B and a plan C AND the lawyers and accountants to have their
vacations result in fatter contracts down the road.
The ONLY way to make a point with Massa; the ONLY way to make
impact with THIS crowd of high-tech pirates its to make them walk the bankruptcy
plank with their wares firmly chained to them…like they have chained our communities for a number of years.
MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A column
written from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. The column
appears on fine websites around the world. Emails to manhoodline@yahoo.com.
©2004, 2007 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International.
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BRINGING THEM BACK HOME: GANGBANGERS VS. THE MODERN CHURCH
BY M. G. RAMEY
As I sat down to write this column, I paused to reflect upon an exhausting
week.
First, my wife informed me that the teenaged son of a dear family friend sat
locked up in our juvenile detention center. His crime? Hanging out with ‘a
buddy’ who had been engaging in a drug transaction…and was arrested by
police.
Second, I had just finished a closed-door teaching on the dangers of street
gangs to a select audience of school administrators from one area of my home
city.
Finally, I had the opportunity to watch a portion of Ving Rhames’ production
of the movie ‘Animal,’ a no-holds barred drama about the struggle of a
former criminal who was sentenced to prison for his crimes associated in the
‘perfecting’ of his ‘craft’ of ‘street thuggsterism’…only to wind up
eventually shot to death by the son he had left behind. The son had chosen
to ‘follow’ in his father’s footsteps as the terror of the neighborhood,
even though the father--now returned from prison a changed man--tries to
prevent his son from repeating his mistakes.
Now, it is not my intent to ‘reinvent’ the wheel when it comes to the
subject of street gangs.
There are reams of material on the Internet about ‘gangbangers’ (or
‘bangers’ as I prefer to call them), the different ‘crews’ and ‘cliques,’
colors, hand signs and gestures, and the impact of the current culture on
‘spawning’ a highly intelligent first generation of bangers. It IS my
intent to help as many churches as possible avoid being labeled as ignorant
when it comes to this subject.
The modern church sponsorship and use of gun buy backs, community rallies,
commissions, slogans, finger pointing and public forums will not deter gangs
from sowing their deadly oats. Soul winning, street evangelism and a
realization that bangers of all races and sexes need salvation, will do
wonders in neutralizing their worship of money, mayhem, and muscle to make
their voices heard.
In short, it will take a spiritual solution to confront this spiritual
problem.
That’s right…I did say ‘a spiritual problem.’
In the world of the gang, their ‘religion’ is spelled out in broad, fleshly
terms: “If one can put it in a pocket, around a neck, in a blunt, worn on
one’s back or take for a drive down the street, it is worth worshiping. In
the gang culture, there IS no such thing as sexual discrimination. Young
women can serve to pleasure the males in a gang, or, they can go out and
practice the art of the beat down in their OWN gangs. In my home city of
Indianapolis, Indiana, there have been at least three girl gangs identified
by local law enforcement authorities as far back as 2004. They just want to
get in on the fun of banding together to right perceived wrongs and
‘handling their business,’ just like their male counterparts. Locks in socks
have replaced lip-gloss as a daily accessory in more than a few girls’
purses and handbags in some schools. A beat down given by a group of girls
against one girl is just as dangerous and hurtful as a group of boys doing
the same thing to one boy.
The ONLY way to stop them is a three-pronged approach: A strong law
enforcement presence, coupled with a strong church presence and a
no-nonsense community of determined people to regain control over our
streets.
Please keep in mind that there are many who do not WANT the problem to get
better in order to ‘maintain’ their own perceptions of ‘community
visibility’ and power. After all, a ‘barking’ watchdog gets more press than
a ‘doing’ watchdog. They also give a perception that they are ‘concerned’
about the problem rather than expending their own resources for realistic
and workable solutions.
JUST HOW DO GANGS WORK?
As one who has spent the better part of one career or another involved in
the areas of crime and justice, I am no stranger to the wiles of street
gangs. It is no accident that these predatory organizations surface, are
beaten back, lie dormant, and rise again more terrible than their original
version.
Today’s street gang is not like the gang model many are familiar with from
movies like “West Side Story”. Many modern gangs are no longer ‘segregated’
by race, location, or sex.
Thanks to the wonders of high technology, teens of different races and
backgrounds can learn, model and belong to gangs whether they are in
Oshkosh, Phoenix or Indianapolis.
Thus, bangers can have web pages on teen-oriented sites such as
MySpace, Black Planet, or Facebook--complete with
their favorite slogans, signs, symbols and affiliation. It matters little
‘which’ gang may be dominant in the headlines. They ALL operate on three
basic principles:
*Power: Street Gangs bring a lot of muscle to the table IF
they are allowed to gain in strength. Let a gang loose in one school and
they could be in all of the schools of a school corporation. Let a gang
spread their graffiti on one side of town, and you will have the murder rate
and drug traffic increase at an alarming rate. Some gangs have ‘front’
businesses established to launder money and put on a good front for the
media. Others have quietly been able to turn their power into capital to
finance political campaigns and turn out the vote movements. Still others
have taken their power into seemingly ‘upright’ social organizations
dedicated to recruiting new members.
*Fear: There is nothing quite like a few dead bodies on the
six o’clock news to frighten an area into silence. A few injured community
activists who are against the gang drug trade will prevent others from
coming out against the gang in their prevailing neighborhood. A few
well-placed threats against a preacher and his family will have many a
pulpit quiet on Sunday morning when sin NEEDS to be exposed. A few high
profile kidnappings will cause even the best community leader to quake when
the clock strikes twelve late at night. Trust me; many bangers quickly push
themselves up the criminal ladder past the shaking down of kids for lunch
money.
*Ignorance: Of the three, this may be the deadliest of the
trio. While some teachers, police officers, and counselors may understand
the signs and symbols of the gang scene, many more do not. Roughly every 12
to 18 months, bangers change their signs. The junior high or middle school
child that will doodle some seemingly innocent names, symbols, and lyrics
onto a notebook cover or the back of their $150 sneakers is not just
practicing creative expression; this child is ‘reaching out’ to other
potential gang members by ‘hoisting a flag’…letting them know of his
interest in joining up with a gang. Unfortunately there is always a risk
that a rival gang may spot the child’s intent and correct his efforts with
some very physical persuasion.
THE CHURCH HOUSE REMAINS SILENT:
I’ll make another point, which may ruffle some sanctified feathers in many,
a church house.
Since many churches have determined that the necessity of soul winning,
coupled with street evangelism are out of date by modern standards, the
message of the gospel and the power of the scriptures have become muted in
the marketplace. This is an interesting phenomenon especially when one
considers the religious trappings associated with gang activity.
A ‘Banger’s Bible’ is the constitution and bylaws of their respective gang.
Many signs and symbols, numbers and prayers are modeled after what gang
members have seen modeled in many churches.
Even the initiation process could be likened to one coming forward and being
‘re born into’ street gang life--complete with official nickname. Make no
mistake about it. Gang bangers regard their gangs and turf as a church,
their crimes and collections as forms of worship and have members programmed
to be quite willing to die to protecting gang secrets.
It takes a willing church and congregation to preach against the sin gangs
represent, firmly confront the wrongs that they are doing in a community,
and reprogram young minds into the intricacies of good religion, a strong
work ethic, and a needed education. Taking a stand against bangers is not
for the weak. In some cases, church congregations are going to have to go up
against single (and some married) parents who don’t see gang membership as
that big a deal--until their son or daughter winds up on the six o’clock
news being carted off to jail, prison, or the morgue.
The modern church IS going to have to step into the challenge.
Yes, we have already seen the church’s weak stands against divorce,
homosexuality, and out-of-wedlock children. Yes, many gang members and their
families attend church without fear of correction or confrontation. Thus
some church members may be wearing gang colors under their youth choir robes
while presenting a good ‘front’ to the congregation and the pulpit. However,
either the gang is going to win, or the church. WE have to make a
choice and declare whom we serve.
A SAD STUDY:
The church MUST get back into the rebuking and repentance business.
Yes, gang members must be made to understand there may be some repentance;
but TRUE repentance involves a change of heart and a change of direction in
one’s life.
Repentance means that one determines NOT to commit the same sin
again. However, the church also must stand strong and remind gang members
there also may be some jail time IF the weapons and drugs are not put down
and they walk away from the gang scene.
The good news is that American cities have not become ‘overrun’ by street
gangs. There are still far too many young people who are going to school,
getting their homework done, and graduating to take their rightful places in
society. Yes, some of them do go to church, and even more of them still view
the teachings of scripture as being relevant in their lives. The thing
concerning those who work in the juvenile justice system is the fact that
the ‘good’ students have remained relatively silent when it comes to
confronting, or even correcting their wayward classmates.
If the truth were told there is a lot of interaction and below the surface
communication within the average U.S. high school. Students themselves often
know the ‘ins and outs’ of who is in what relationship, and who is in which
gang. Sadly, they oftentimes have to sit idly by; cowed into silence by the
very young people they could be helping.
While attending a recent training on gangs, my group was presented with a
national study of 2,000 teens that were involved in the street gang scene.
It highlighted some eye-opening information on how young people are quickly
sucked into the street life:
YOUTH FIRST MEETS A GANG MEMBER--AT 8.9 YEARS OLD
YOUTH PERFORMS FIRST GANG ACTIVITY--9.2 YEARS OLD
YOUTH EXPERIENCES PUBERTY--9 TO 10 YEARS OLD
FIRST TIME INTIMIDATED A PERSON AT SCHOOL--10.4 YEARS
FIRST TIME DISCHARGED A FIREARM--11.3 YEARS OLD
FIRST TIME OBSERVED A DEATH/INJURY RESULT FROM GANG ACTIVITY--11.3 YEARS
OLD
FIRST TIME JOINED A GANG--12 YEARS OLD
FIRST TIME ARRESTED--12 YEARS OLD
FIRST TIME HAD A WEAPON FOR PERSONAL USE--12 YEARS
FIRST TIME TATTOOED--13 YEARS OLD
THE CHURCH HOUSE CAN CORRECT THE PROBLEM!
Many modern churches have been outclassed by the tug of the streets on young
people.
Sunday after Sunday, teens enter churches not only full of the world’s
knowledge of how to be a better negative, they recognize teens--and some
adults--who appear to have gotten away with “it,” meaning their dual
identities of street thug and church member.
Once more, they actively see the double standard of encouraging young women
to dress for success, and allowing young men to exist in their mess,
complete with sagging and bagging.
Let me be as upfront as I can at this point: Sin spreads not only by people
engaging IN the activity, but people who know better AND give
their silent consent! With the arrival of ‘casual’ Sundays on the church
scene, teen members have taken this to mean ‘wear your own colors’.
Inside (and outside) of many a church on a Sunday morning, those young men
and young women who have experienced a ‘flutter’ with gang life PROUDLY
wear the colors associated with their favorite ‘nation’ or ‘set’ AND
may ‘flash’ a few signs to rival members, or the general public without fear
of public rebuke.
Add to this the fact that some televised national ministries feature pastors
and preachers appearing in the pulpit in casual dress with the ‘be like them
to win them’ mentality, and one better understands how far the ‘modern’
church has fallen.
How may a church in a city regain the upper hand when it comes to the spread
of gangs?
Let me dare say again that this is a spiritual problem that must be dealt
with via spiritual means. This is not an arena for the faint of heart. A
pastor and a church must realize that this is an ongoing conflict that must
be bathed in prayer.
One will be shocked to find how far the arms of gang life ‘stretch’ into the
average congregation. More than a few congregations are clearly seeing first
generation bangers who are between 12 to 17 years old, who may be on
probation or parole in some cases. Many of these young men and young women
know their gang signs and affiliations better than their ABCs.
Second, as in dealing with those who may be trapped in cult or occult
activity, pastors and churches must realize that they have to regain control
of the language of the debate.
Bangers have clearly stated to parents, social workers and teachers that
they only know of ‘love’ as members of a gang.
In reality, how can one claim to be showing ‘love’ if they are hurting you,
asking you to lie, cheat, and steal, or coercing you out of your virginity
‘for the good of the gang’? Every word that a gang has corrupted must be
‘taken back’ by those who preach and model the gospel, clearly and
unashamedly explained from the point of view of the Holy Scriptures, and
returned to the seeking individual in the proper biblical context. Lastly,
churches and pastors must acknowledge that they are in need of training as
to what is going on out in the streets of our communities.
There are police officers, judges, probation officers and teachers in many a
congregation who can bring teaching to the church as to how gangs function,
operate, and flourish IF pride is swallowed by church leadership and the
pulpit.
Gangs are nothing new to many communities. However, it is up to those who
call upon the name of the Lord to go about the Father’s business and take
those out of the kingdom of darkness and bring them back home. Many young
people DO have the prodigal story committed to memory. All they are waiting
for is for some courageous Christian man or woman to show them the way out
of the darkness, before it not only bites them…but devours them.
M. G. RAMEY is the Pastor of ‘The Forward Church,’ of Indianapolis, Indiana.
He is also a Juvenile court Probation Officer, Street Gang
Specialist/Certified, and Cult/Occult Researcher. You may contact him at
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
©2006 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
The Manhoodline Comes To An End
Greetings!
Just wanted everyone to know that, as of October 13th, 'The
Manhood Line' will end its glorious run...ten years!
I wanted to thank each of you for your support over the
years. It has meant a lot to me. However, because of time
commitments in other ventures, not to mention research for a
novel, it is time to make way and allow for other up and
coming great writers to have the chance to step forward.
Take care, and thanks for letting me spend some time in your
bunkhouse. It's time for this writer to act upon a great
quote from the late General, Douglas McArthur, and just fade
away.
See ya down the block.
Mike Ramey
So what do you think?
If you would like to respond to
this article
click here and sign our
Guestbook to leave a public or private statement, comment or reaction. Mike Ramey is the author of: "The Manhood
Line". A syndicated monthly column, written for men from a biblical, business, and common-sense
perspective. To correspond, e-mail to
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
FRIENDS,
ENEMIES and OPPORTUNITIES
I had been
watching an old World War II-based epic recently, featuring a
well-known military commander who had stayed around toooo long
to suit the comfort of the ‘powers that be’. He was eventually
FIRED, but had the opportunity to make a great speech on his way
out of the public spotlight, and uttered the immortal phrase:
“Old soldiers don’t die…they just fade away.”
Being an old soldier myself, after ten years of keeping my fingers on the keys and throwing strikes, its time to
fade away. This is the last column. We are putting the flag back
in the box, and the bugle is blowing softly as this part of the
journey ends.
The joys and sorrows I have experienced while writing this
column over the years has been a true blessing from God. There
are MORE brothers writing similar columns now. There are MORE
brothers who are speaking out on the issues of manhood, hard
work, and making the best of an opportunity. There are MORE
brothers who are remembering who they are in Christ, in the
brotherhood, and in the race.
It shows that my mission has been successful, and the
battlefield has been conquered. I’ve been blessed to be visited
by more than a few friends, a few enemies, and a host of
opportunities. However, before we pull down the big top, and
hose out the cages, there are still a few items on the burners
that need to be examined.
No time like the present.
WE KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!
One would hope that the mainstream press (MSM) would stop
publishing articles and producing electronic fodder about the
‘fatherless’ issue in America. Nevertheless, several times
a year, brothers who ARE on the job as fathers have to ‘wade’
through a sea of finger pointing, guilt trips, and excuses about
why some families can’t hack it in the togetherness department.
In reality, families are doing better than ever. It is ‘cool’ to
be a parent, no matter what the MSM tries to shove onto Page
One.
Even Oprah can’t block the impact of a true brother who is on
the job without excuse, no matter how far into space her message
goes…but, I digress.
To those men who are on the case and manning the helm of their
families as God intended, you get a tip of the hat from yours
truly. It matters little what others may say on the subject, nor
don’t look for too many pats on the back from the MSM. The media
in this country has become feminized, and more concerned over
whom is living with whom rather than who is getting married…and
staying married.
The CHIEF reason why it ‘appears’ that there are fewer fathers in the land is simple to explain.
First, our elected leaders have done little to reduce the tax burden on those men and women who chose to do the right
thing and get married BEFORE they have children. It has ALWAYS
been marriage BEFORE children, and this is the right way to do
things. As it has been said by one well-know preacher: “Do
right, because it is right to do right, regardless of whether or
not it is the right thing to do.”
Second, we have the MSM (and too many groups) who put unmarried
fathers on an equal scale with married fathers, saddle the
married father with a No Fault divorce system, a punitive Child
Support system, and Visitation/Custody arrangements geared
towards mothers (single married, or otherwise engaged) then ask
why fathers won’t ‘stick around’ to raise the children they
helped to create.
It seems we never hear the same MSM ‘jump’ single mothers with the same gusto.
Could it be that many of those who are working in the newsrooms
and behind the cameras could best be described as “Single,
Messed-Up & Female?”
Yep…I DID say it! LOL!
PUTTING THE ‘MEN’ BACK INTO ‘AMEN’:
It seems that many men will just have to ‘tough out’ the
stupidity of the MSM, the feminists, and even the church as to
the reason why there are social ills associated with the
so-called ‘absence’ of men from just about every nook and cranny
of society.
It is not that society has not been warned. From a biblical perspective, each and every time women and children are
exalted above men, the society in question has a real mess going on, until order is restored. ‘Fem’ men and ‘Mascu’ women are not ideals which God
created, but mankind willingly mandated.
Society is reaping the whirlwind.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why recruitment goals continue to be reached in the War against
Terror. Our young men like to have their metal tested. If it
won’t be in the school, and can’t be in the church, then it will
have to be on the battlefield--a REAL battlefield.
Hear me out on this point. Young men like to be tested under the heat of battle. In the church, there USED to be
upright brothers in the pulpit and the pew who were more
interested in raising men with character, than BEING characters
themselves. These days, it is hard to find a church where the
brothers who are in charge are actually upright men, rather than
uptight men. The spirit of service, stewardship, and
selflessness have disappeared from many modern churches,
regardless of denomination. “The Church of the Sagging Pants”
has been birthed. I continue to run into young ministers,
deacons, and even laymen who have hit the door on the way out of that church, along with the
“First Church of the Feminized Man“.
Let me offer a suggestion here, as we head for a close this month.
Jesus Christ was NOT a punk!
Brother, are you sick of how your church is under performing? Is the company where you are working doing less than its best when it comes to serving the public? Is
your sweetheart turning up her nose at the prospect of marriage,
but is not adverse to getting “shacked up”?
Be a man and do something about it!
There are plenty of women who would LOVE to be your wife,
brother. FIND HER, and drop Jezebel right back off to her own
crowd. If your company is not doing all it should, and your job
is less than satisfactory, it IS time to start the search to
find a new one AND TAKE IT when you find it, or START that new
company!
Lastly, if your church is not all that it should be, put the MEN back into AMEN and START your own! Don’t be a
prisoner to the ignorant! If they could start them in the first
century, you could start your own in the twenty-first, AMEN?
In short, you can either remain and complaint…or head out the
door and go for more. Why be ‘uptight’ when you are right and
‘upright’!
Let’s close this out, with an illustration.
One of my favorite Bible men is Caleb, Joshua’s second in command. Not only did Caleb catch Joshua’s back from
that first recon mission to the Promised Land, this brother was
on the battlefield with Josh for several decades on down the
pike.
The day came for Caleb to move on.
After the battles were fought, the troops were taught, and the land was claimed, Caleb bid goodbye to his
friend and commander and set off in search of those items that
were destined to be a part of his life. In short, he could have
stayed with Josh and kept on being in the command structure,
with plenty of recognition, money and power. OR…he could take
the risk, and move on to fight his own battles and take care of
his own dreams. Caleb was on the front lines for the cause of
God. Now that the cause was won, it was time to take care of
some unfinished business.
Caleb knew when to move on…and so do I.
See some of you over the hill, when the next project is
completed.
“WHITE GUILT: PLAYING “THE GAME?” PART II
In the first part of this two-part
commentary, we confronted the beast known as racism, and its
continued existence in our land. The ‘grip’ on the trick bag in
our modern generation brothers is that there are some
whites--and a few non-whites--who are operating under the
misguided notion that whites actually ‘feel’ guilty about their
progress in this land. I beg to differ. I have not met a white
person who has expressed remorse about being successful. The
‘White Guilt’ myth is all a part of “The Game”…keeping people
focused on the right hand, when the left hand is where the
action is.
‘Going off’ on racists does not,
nor will it destroy the demon. Neither will our crying about how
unfair life it. Sometimes, the best way to deal with those who
‘hate’, whatever the reason, is to ‘withdraw’ yourself from
them…meaning take your time, talent, cash and tithes and head on
down the road.
What “White Guilt?” Those of us on
the receiving end understand that this is all part of “The
Game”. American need not be shocked if Men of Color decide that
we don’t have to play by corrupt rules. After all, we DO know of
one brother who is above gamesmanship. To the righteous, He is
only a prayer away.
The Bible itself holds that there
are ways TRUE religion can be made visible. Racism, no matter
how some may ‘disagree or deny’ its existence and practice, is
not something to be celebrated, but condemned. Racism is NOT a
family virtue.
THE “MEN’S MOVEMENT” AND “WOMEN’S
LIB” LIES:
Recently, there have been
reconciliation between Black men and Black women, much to the
bewilderment of the mainstream media packs. I’ve noticed that we
are coming together more, actually ‘catching’ one another’s
backs, and have been deep-sixing the ‘Crabs In A Barrel
Syndrome’. I don’t know why this is happening, but I do know
that it IS happening without the help of the Women’s Lib and
Men’s Movement crowds. Neither camp is happy about OUR coming
together, so OUR children--and grand children are being
targeted.
Just as Women’s Lib sought to
inflame Black women against Black men (so Caucasian women would
tempt Black men), we now have the Men’s Movement seeking to
neutralize Black men with Black women (in order for Caucasian
men to tempt Black women). Same game; different day, Amen?
I find it highly interesting that
in the nearly ten years that the Men’s Movement has made it
‘above’ ground, stereotyping of Men of Color continues WITHOUT
public opposition by Men‘s groups. This fact is paralleled in
the Women’s Lib ranks as ‘they’ have ‘yet’ to condemn
prostitution, pornography, and the rise of female homosexuals.
But wait, there’s more! Who are the
‘featured’ Men of Color ‘allowed’ to be involved in the
forefront of the Men’s Movement? Why, the athlete, the
entertainer, and the music star--the same types of Men of Color
always regarded as being ‘safe’ by white America. What of the
Men of color who are car dealers, construction workers, lawyers,
probation officers and mental health professionals? Rendered
invisible.
My question to those involved in the Men’s
Movement is a simple one: Don’t Black men deserve to be
‘represented’ in the same light that you are representing
yourselves to YOUR families? How many non-white male writers,
talk show hosts, producers, etc., are featured prominently in
your literature, on your billboards, or in your national
programs and/or rallies who are NOT the same, year after year?
IF the Men’s Movement only applies
to “Whites Only”-- I would pray that those involved would have
the courage to say so! We can rebuild our families and
communities without you, integration, or affirmative action, and
past redlining, eminent domain, and racism. We are learning the
techniques of the Chinese, Japanese, Hispanics and Indians about
keeping our money in the hood.
I fully expect to see a section of
some U.S. city designated as ‘Little Africa’. Especially after
those Reparation checks start to show up, someday.
What “White Guilt?” It’s just part
of “The Game.”
THE ‘SALLY’ AND ‘BECKY’ LIE:
America likes to ‘export’ the
belief that the mere presence of a WW will ‘stupefy’ a Black man
and make him unable to think, concentrate, or calculate. This
lie has been told round the world, and back again. To tell the
truth, today’s brother is not a throwback to the ‘Birth of a
Nation’ fakes that the majority culture viewed as ‘real.’
I like how Dick Gregory destroyed
this myth, back in the day: “If you don’t want Black men looking
at White women, PUT MORE BLACK WOMEN IN TV ADS!” Of course, this
has happened, and now White women are angry that White men are
lusting after Naomi Cambell, Tyra Banks, Halle Berry and
Queen Latifah. In fact, I’ve noticed that some of the
‘traditional’ white dolls have ‘fuller’ lips, and ‘bigger’
trunks--and better ‘tans’. It’s not by accident that ‘Miss
School Teacher’ is trying to turn ‘Pimp’ at the school house.
Headlines are FULL of this kind of scandalous activity, Amen?
What color are the male victims, usually? But…I digress!
Fewer and fewer upright images of
Black womanhood are visible in the MSM. I am NOT happy about the
continued stereotypical treatment Black women receive at the
hands of Hellywood, nor am I happy with the way the MSM treats
my Black sisters with a double standard that more and more
sisters are--for the first time--awakening to and understanding.
No, I’m not against IR, as long as its male-female (not ‘Adam
and Steve’ or ‘Eve and Rhonda’) and both are heading in the same
direction as led by the Lord. However, this ‘fear’ among White
men and White women that ‘…all Black men want are…’ is
BALDERDASH.
Sistahs KNOW that it’s ‘Raining
Men’, Baby! Put another way; if YOU are looking at and relying
upon the MSM to help you find a date or a mate, best save your
subscription money and spend it on some improvement classes,
sisters. The MSM can’t even help White women find husbands.
Based upon my research, in spite of the rising number of
Caucasian women in the workforce, more and more of them--and
their daughters--have become alcoholics, perverts, dope fiends,
and suffer from all kinds of mental illnesses and afflictions
that did not exist a scant ten years ago.
What “White Guilt?” It’s all a
part of “The Game.”
THE “MISSIONARY MENTALITY” LIE:
As one who does wear a clerical
collar, this is a great place for me to wrap it up for the
month. Many ‘church folk of the lighter hue’ from the pulpit to
the pew, still have a ‘missionary’ mentality about Men of Color,
Christianity, and the Bible. What IS the ‘missionary’ mentality?
Well, that is the action whereby Caucasian Christians will reach
‘outside’ of their cities to ‘help’ people of color outside of
the USA, but will FIGHT to keep OTHER races out of their OWN
backyards. Men of Color from Frederick Douglass to Frederick K.C.
Price have addressed the sin of racism in the church.
The sin has NOT changed and still
exists.
There IS a falling away from the
church, as prophesied in the Bible.
It will take practitioners, not
just readers and prayers, to reverse the fall. Until that day
comes, Men of Color will be watching “The Game”, and entering
the playing field at level areas of their OWN choosing--NOT
ignorant about the field…or the players.
Let the fool choke on their own
ignorance.
What good does it do, O Man of God,
to wrap the Bible in a flag and proclaim a need for patriotism,
justice, truth and the USA way, when you can’t go down the block
with a color blind Gospel and talk WITH us or even TO us? How
many church members own or run banks, businesses, and
corporations, yet can’t ‘find’ Men of Color to employ, but ‘pay
lip service’ about the high unemployment rate among African
American men?
Young brothers need to take a
lesson from our forefathers; learn how to master your mind--when
others are content to be losing theirs. I’ve only supplied an
overview of the mainstream ‘chessboard’. The rest of the
research, is up to YOU!
“WHITE GUILT”: PLAYING “THE GAME” ? PART
I
In my view, the race issue is like
the weather; everyone talks about it, but no one really wants to
address the real, bottom line issues involved. It’s kind of like
the social worker who chides the police officer for arresting a
wayward juvenile…until that juvenile breaks into the social
worker’s home. Only then, does the crime issue become ‘real.’
Aren’t feeling me yet? Well, let’s
move on. What do Rodney Dangerfield and Men of Color have in
common? BOTH get little in the way of respect. Furthermore, as
Dangerfield’s ‘lack of respect’ was based upon comedic wit,
great timing and keen observation, the ‘lack of respect’ still
swirling around Men of Color in this country is, in my humble
opinion, rooted in planned, deliberate, and calculated
ignorance.
Even by some of those of our OWN
hue.
I hope that my opening
illustration will shock more than a few people who have read my
work in the past. As we used to say back in the day: “I want to
comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.” Sadly there
are too many, both outside and inside of our communities who are
STILL practicing this sin of favoring one person over another
because of color. It is getting more and more obvious in the
mainstream that the greatest fear is: “Guess Who Your Daughter
May Be Marrying!”
Brothers, to be counted as a man
means that there comes a time when we need to ‘clear the air’
about a few things in our modern society, in order to have the
next generation of young Black men grow up to be wise, able to
compete and free to see things as they actually ARE--and
honestly evaluate their options. I ask a clear hearing on my
subject this month, as I am not a racist…but a realist. I’m not
stoking the fire, but I am going to be throwing strikes, cause
Home Plate never moves. We KNOW that there IS deception in the
land of the free and the home of the brave on the issue of race.
The cold reality is, we have stopped teaching our young men how
to spot--and confront--intentional and harmful actions, rise
above them, and expose them with all of the class and grace the
Lord will bestow upon us.
Yes, racism DOES exist in this
land. The following two-part commentary is but a mere ‘cliff’
session, designed to remind US that there IS a standard of
performance based upon racism. Black folk in general, and Black
men in particular STILL have to do twice as much to be counted
‘average’ or even competitive by the mainstream.
Let me hasten to add that ‘going
off’ on racists does not destroy the demon.
Sometimes, the best way to deal
with those who ‘hate’ is to ‘withdraw’ yourself from them and
let ‘em choke on the consequences of their own bad behavior.
THE “WHITE GUILT” LIE:
True freedom often involves an
occasional throwing off of lies. Truth--Men of Color have ALWAYS
come through when America has landed upon hard times, especially
in those instances America did NOT want us to participate, nor
expect us to help. Since 1619, WE have been MORE loyal to this
country than it deserves, Amen?
I happened across several items to
kick my switch for the month. They range from Ishmael Reed’s
“Another Day At The Front”, to the Time Magazine 2006 Cover
Story about the ‘plague’ of white youth dropping out of school,
to several recent articles discussing Black progress and White
Guilt written by a rainbow of writers, columnists, and scribes,
and, least I forget, some wrong treatment of a friend of mine by
people she was trying to help.
Here’s a real shock: Unless you
have been living under a rock since the age of ten, MOST of us
who are Black and male know that there is NO such animal as
‘White Guilt.’
It’s all part of “The Game.”
Brothers, members of the Caucasian
race who live in the USA do not feel a bit guilty over the
progress they have made in society. I am a fan of Shelby
Steel’s, but I must firmly disagree with him on the matter of
White Guilt. If one wanted to be accurate about how white
America views us, it is a look of bizarre amazement. We STILL
survive IN SPITE OF the playing field being shifted,
day-by-day…and sometimes hour-by-hour.
It gets hotter and better this
month, brothers as to be ‘pro-Black’ does not mean ‘anti-white’.
The Black man who dares to better himself, stay loyal to his
wife, and conduct his family as God has intended will be seen as
a suspect--even by some of those of the Caucasian ranks who may
have talk shows, appear regularly on Christian or Non-Christian
television, write books, be male or female, or may be wearing
clerical collars, carrying Bibles, and addressing themselves as
either ‘liberal’ or ‘conservative.’
Let‘s turn up the heat a little
more. The Man of Color who can conduct himself on any field of
endeavor will likely find himself the target of snipers,
slander, gossip and accusation at each level. If you are
opinionated, certain folk are waiting for you to ‘go off’. If
you don’t use ‘slang’, you are branded a ‘nerd’; if you do use
it, you are tagged as being ‘rough and thuggish’. If you work
hard and get ahead, you ‘made it’ due to someone’s ‘gift’ to
you. If you work hard and are overlooked for promotion or
advancement, you don’t ‘understand’ how the game is played.
Ah, but we DO understand how it is
played. Unfortunately, too many of our young brothers are
content to chew on their piece of basketball, Hip Hop, and
Hollywood ‘glory’, yet if they had to go out and work a regular
job like the rest of the brotherhood, many of them would wind up
behind bars, in a psych ward…or both.
“The Game” will always be right in your
face, my brother. Daring you; dogging you, and chiding you into
doing something drastic, dangerous, and dumb. “The Game” is even
played in the Church house, and in the Christian community. If
you ‘confront’ some of the so-called ‘light brothers’ in Christ,
you are either ignored, made fun of, or accused of being one of
‘those’ types. This is especially comical as the biblical
account has unshakeable evidence that the Hebrews, from Moses to
Jesus to Paul, had more ‘soul’ to their color than folk want to
admit.
I think I just lost some
conservative and liberal Christian ministries, Amen?
Typical.
How can one win, let alone
compete, in this type of daily, hostile environment?
Simple. Realize that “The Game”
is, what it is…a means of testing your mental metal. Train
yourself to not just win, but to THRIVE! Take a tip from the
late Earl Woods. Discipline yourself AND get back to training
your children as to how to mentally stand against any attack;
act instead of react. Realize that EACH day you head into the
workforce IS a day of preparation and a day of battle.
Take your ‘ten’ at work, but let
your natural down in your OWN home.
Sun Tzu has NOTHING on a
determined Black man.
What “White Guilt?” It’s just a
part of “The Game.”
What is “The Game”? Those who are
in the thick of daily competition getting US to focus on what
the right hand is doing, while the left hand has all of the
secrets. In short, by design it has us wasting energy, time and
resources being reactive, when we should be proactive. When
Christ walked the earth, there was a very interesting business
venture in the funeral industry called the ‘paid mourner’. These
people were slipped a few coins and could cry on cue for the
‘dearly departed’. Mention racism to some Black folk, and you
get the same reaction. It is high time we stop ‘crying’ about
what is being done ‘to’ us, and take the battle to the next
level.
And…do it with a smile!
THE INMATES, THE
ASYLUM & THE GREEN
In case you haven’t heard about this one:
Hampton University drew major attention to a change in its dress
code for undergraduate and graduate MBA students. In a nutshell,
it has banned the ‘casual’ look when it comes to hairstyles and
clothing, and instituted a ‘dress code,’ demanding students to
look professional and business-like when they come to class. Of
course, the purveyors of the ‘gangsta casual’ style (long dreds,
unchecked cornrows, tattoos, gold teeth, etc.) are crying
‘FOUL.’ “After all,” the critics rant, rave, and rationalize,
“Hampton is a BLACK institution; why can’t I dress any way I
want?”
It’s about the GREEN, Baby!
Recently, the agency that happens to employ
yours truly revised its dress code. It did away with ‘casual
Fridays’ (something many corporations have been doing quietly
since 2000). In short, the rule change intoned: “If you can’t
hack it, get your jacket!” In a tight economy, one learns what
is important for economic survival.
If it means shucking the jeans and wearing
‘business lean’, then SO BE IT!
It’s all about the GREEN, Baby!
THE ‘ACTING WHITE’ MYTH:
I’m not advocating money worship, but
merely exercising common sense. You have a choice, brothers; be
proud and unemployed, or working and contributing. It’s your
call with the ball.
Let me be among the first to applaud the
Hampton efforts in attempting to teach something which other MBA
candidates at other institutions are instinctively aware: “If
one wants to be RECRUITED, one had better be PROPERLY SUITED!”
Let me add another statement to the fire as
spoken by Tony Brown: “The ONLY color of freedom is GREEN!”
Again, I am not ‘advocating’ the worship of money. I am on the
record for the following: IF one is going to make their mark in
the business world, they need to learn the rules.
One of them is proper dress.
Now, I’ve met my share of young people who
‘claim’ that they want to open their own business ‘someday.’
T-O-D-A-Y is the day for preparation. One may ‘hope’ to open
their own company in the future, but they won’t reach that dream
when they DO NOT know when to sag, and when not to…Amen?
Pin down one of our loudmouthed youth of
today, pry his iPOD from his hands and ears, and ask him to
produce a report card. After the fussing, cussing, and fuming
(by them), take a GOOD look at his grades. Next, get past the
excuses and ask them what they want to do with their lives.
The conversation will be one way from that
point on--as many of our young have not been asked that question
by teachers, professors...or even their own parents!
The youth of today STILL need for the
card-carrying members of the 'old' school to tell them where
they are doing right, and when they are going wrong. It is the
responsibility of those of us who are older to rise to that
challenge and pass on our wisdom both inside, and outside of our
households.
Sometimes, the need may arise in the
unlikeliest of places.
The ‘critics’ (many of whom are under-40 by
the way) of the Hampton policy revision seem to be more
concerned about the ‘acting white’ myth, rather than economic
reality. The one thing I have learned from living is the
following about the ‘acting white accusers’:
1. What was the last grade THEY completed
in school?
2. Are they paying their OWN bills, or are
they relying on someone else’s generosity (like government aid,
their parents, or their ‘roommate’)?
3. Are they actively working on being
successful, or do they like being a statistic?
You will lose many of those who dare to
challenge you after the first question.
Brothers, let’s be for real. If the
difference between you getting a job and keeping a job rests
with what you wear to the office, look AROUND at what everyone
else is wearing, and dress ACCORDINGLY. You can shout, whine,
spit and rap to me all day long about how ‘unfair’ it is for an
employer to ‘demand’ that potential and present employees dress
for success. However, remember that old school piece of wisdom:
“He (or she) who has the gold makes the
rules!"
THE HURT OF PROUD HARDHEADS:
Brothers, dress for success during working
hours, and you will be a Black Man Working. Dress less than your
best, and you will be young, gifted, Black…and BROKE!
*A man cannot provide a family IF he is
broke.
*A man cannot help his community IF he is
broke.
*A man cannot build a successful legacy IF
he is broke.
I continue to run into young brothers
displaying their ‘prideful hardheadedness’; dressing anyway they
want, failing to prepare themselves to launch a successful
job/career hunt, and getting ‘mad’ when other young brothers who
are doing it the RIGHT way are passing them in the breakdown
lane like sports cars during rush hour.
Nevertheless, this is exactly what happens
when the inmates attempt to seize control of the jail--and
dictate their own terms of prison reform. Volume does not equal
success; it just means that the excuses for one's shortcomings
can be masked with higher decibels.
Brothers, let me give you a tip…you are not
a ‘sell out’ if you shuck the ‘BrokeBlack’ mindset, put on some
decent clothes, and undertake a marketing campaign in order to
find a job--or a BETTER job. There is NO JOY in being
DELIBERATELY unemployed and/or having your WOMAN ‘take care of
you’ while you ‘excel’ at video games, hip hop poetry, and your
CD/MP3 collection.
There IS a work for a young brother who
won’t work: It is spelled P-U-N-K!
In fact, let me fill you in on a positive
trait of the brotherhood--and employers. They ‘both’ like to
help those who have the courage to ask, seek AND follow
through!
True story. An older brother on my job is a
sharp dresser. I asked him for some tips on how I could ‘spice
up’ my functional wardrobe. The older brother told me where he
did some of his clothes shopping. Needless to say, I was blessed
at what they had in my price and size range. It also made a
difference when I ‘borrowed’ his look and reaped some
compliments from my coworkers and superiors. Of course, I
thanked my ‘style mentor’ appropriately.
AN OBSERVATION--AND A CHALLENGE:
If you read the Bible, you have heard about
the ‘church dress code’. Folk wore their best to physically
represent their love of Christ, and their dedication to each
other in the local congregation. Time was--before the
infestation of the Rap and Hip Hop genres in some of our
churches, our people were proud to wear their ‘Sunday Best’.
And, for those who like to get ‘cute’ about Jesus, just remember
that he was a ‘clean brother’ when He was teaching in the
Temple, and a ‘functional brother’ when he was on the job in the
carpenter’s shop.
My
two cents: Hampton University’s faculty and leadership
have broken the back of the rebellion. At last word, students
were getting with the program. However, here is my challenge for
some of the more ‘entrepreneurial’ brothers in the MBA program.
Open a business where your classmates can ‘get’ those
conservative clothing items at discount prices…or even for FREE.
Sounds crazy, right? Well, in some U. S. cities, there are
‘second hand’ clothing stores where women who are going for
‘professional’ jobs are provided with business suits, dresses,
and accessories for free, or reduced cost. The primary thrust of
the stores, if one wants to carry themselves as a professional,
one CAN get help in building a better wardrobe. It would be nice
to see that same philosophy extended to the college campus.
Remember, it was the campus that spawned Fed Ex…and the creator
of that company got a ‘C’ on his paper when he presented the
business model--in an MBA program.
EARL WOODS:
BROTHER ABOVE THE FOLD
In the newspaper game, when a story is
‘above the fold’ it means that the editors believe it is
information worthy of your attention. Thus, when you first
glance at the front page of your daily delivery, the hot stories
covered by your favorite reporter are the ones that their
editorial board deemed ‘important’ for the public to see on Page
One.
This month’s column centers upon an
individual who is also ‘above the fold’. This Father’s Day, I
wanted to pay tribute to a man who not only understood the
‘hows’ in training a champion; but a brother who rose up after
several major failures in his own life to carry on with
determination and dignity. THE MANHOOD LINE “Father of the Year”
is none other than the late Earl Woods.
I’ve been scanning the web offerings on Mr.
Woods. You can generally tell who ‘liked’ him, based upon
whether or not his son, Tiger, had--or has-- ‘trounced’ a
favored member of the Golfing establishment. Now, I might not be
the quickest brother on the uptake about some things. After all,
it took me a little while to figure out why sportswriters were
pounding on Barry Bonds--until I realized that he was only a few
swings away from placing Babe Ruth’s Home Run record into a
third place ranking.
As I write this, Bonds is only one swing
away. GO BARRY!
But, I digress.
Some of the articles and web offerings I
have read about Mr. Woods have left me cold…except for the
interview that Rush Limbaugh did with him in his monthly
magazine a few years ago, which ‘El Rushbo’ provided an
extravaganza of information on this legendary father. The best
news--Tiger is just ‘hitting his stride’. The great news--Mr.
Woods modeled sacrifice, love, and manhood in bringing Tiger to
where he is now.
LEARNING THE LESSONS:
Earl Woods, based upon what I have been
reading and observing over time, had to deal with some past
trials, tribulations and failings. First, he had to handle his
own shortcomings from a previous marriage. Second, he had to
overcome the horrors of war and racism. Third, when he KNEW that
Tiger was a ‘gifted’ child, he had to map out a careful training
program, pass on the realities and sting of racism for people of
color in the USA and sacrifice what was a lucrative career of
his own. Last, he still had to instill in his children, as well
as Tiger, the importance of being an upright adult against the
backdrop of a society, which seemed to endlessly point at the
‘easier and less moral’ direction.
Yes, Mr. Woods could have ‘folded’ or taken
the okey-doke at any time. Unlike many in our ‘soft boiled’ age
of today, he took the hard lessons of life and used them to
propel himself forward. In doing so, by making himself ready,
WHEN Tiger came along, it was easier to be humbled, and begin
the process of training his son for GREATNESS.
Brothers, are YOU ready to sacrifice, be
upright, and discipline yourself? IF you are, when that
opportunity--be a great job, a great wife, or a great
idea--comes along, you will be humble enough to recognize the
greatness in it, and move with it to the next level.
Too many brothers TALK a good game, but are
NOT willing to TRAIN! The modern young man of today may ‘flow’
seventy-five words a minute, but won’t ‘go’ properly dressed to
a job interview!
Can I get an AMEN from the ranks of the
unemployed?
Now, I’ve seen the headlines, and read the
columns and commentaries. Allegedly, to hear some of the ‘media
hardheads’ talk, we--as men--don’t have much to celebrate, and
whatever we DO celebrate, isn’t a real victory.
To that I say BALDERDASH!
If you are doing the BEST that you can in
taking care of yours, have learned from your mistakes, and have
decided to ‘wake up’ instead of ‘sleeping and slipping along’
like some of your friends, you are on the path to TRUE
manhood…as well as being a father worthy of honor.
Want to be an upright man? It’s simple…stop
believing the lies, and start living the truth.
In our modern age, more seems to be made of
the man or woman who has a ream of accomplishments to ‘brag’
about. Why brag if you know that you are successful? One of my
favorite sayings comes into play here: “A Black Man doesn’t NEED
a Press Conference to prove that he is successful!”
DEVELOP AND LIVE THE RIGHT STANDARD:
What made Mr. Woods effective at training
Tiger to be the champion he is today rests in the fact that he
prayed, trusted his own instincts, and did not focus his
attention on the negatives. Yes, there were struggles and
sacrifices. No, his wife and especially young Tiger did not
agree with his training regimen. However, as the days ticked by
and a grown Tiger put on that first Master’s Green Jacket, it
seemed that it paid off in a big league way.
That was ONLY the beginning of the
adventure.
Brothers, life is a gamble. It is FAR too
easy to do wrong. Not only is it easy to DO wrong, but also it
is far too easy to live wrong just to ‘appease’ the crowd.
Achievers are frowned upon and ‘dogged out’ in this era of ‘no
risk living’. Getting married, THEN having children makes no
sense to those who are focused upon physical pleasure rather
than long-term commitment--but it makes perfect sense to a
brother who is determined to live his life above the fold. The
upright brother KNOWS that this is the right thing to do.
We EACH have an internal standard of right
and wrong, which God, in his infinite wisdom, has inserted into
us. We just have to tune into his frequency through the Bible,
set the dial on Jesus Christ and listen to the wisdom being
taught. You can’t tune into the right show using the wrong
antenna, amen?
Goodbye Mr. Woods. Your legacy lives on
because YOU took the time to prepare. Here’s a farewell poem to
remind us for the need of upright men, and even more upright
fathers. This is called “The Ships That Won’t Go Down” by Henry
Lawson:
We hear a great commotion
‘Bout the ship that comes to grief,
That founders in mid-ocean,
Or is driven on a reef;
Because it’s cheap and brittle
A score of sinners drown.
But we hear but mighty little
Of the ships…that won’t go down.
Here’s honour to the builders--
The builders of the past;
Here’s honour to the builders
That builded ships to last;
Here’s honour to the captain,
And honour to the crew;
Here’s double-column headlines
To the ships that battle through.
They make a great sensation
About famous men that fail,
That sink a world of chances
In the city morgue or gale,
Who drink, or blow their brains out,
Because of ‘Fortune’s Frown’,
But we hear far too little
Of the men who won’t go down.
The world is full of trouble,
And the world is full of wrong,
But the heart of man is noble,
And the heart of man is strong!
They say the sea sings dirges,
But I would say to you
That the wild wave’s song’s a paean
For the men that battle through!
Happy Father’s Day to the brotherhood in
2006.
MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD
LINE. A syndicated column written monthly for men from a
biblical, business, and common sense perspective. This column
appears around the world in many find on line and off line
publications. To correspond, drop an E-mail to
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
©2006 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International. Ten
years of ‘making it look easy’ in print!
RISE OF THE
VOLUNTEER ALIENS
WKRP In Cincinnati, in my
humble opinion, had to be one of the all-time best sitcoms that
ever hit the airwaves. One of the last episodes of the first
incarnation of the series involved Mama Carlson (Carol Bruce)
making the decision to switch the format of WKRP in order for
the station to continue to serve to lose money, a perfect tax
write-off for her successful companies. Of course, Dr. Johnny
Fever (Howard Hesseman) catches on to Mama’s intent, and utters
the immortal quip: “This is so twisted, even I get it!”
Unless you have been hiding out in a
foreign land, you’ve no doubt heard or saw those ‘miraculous’
marches involving Illegal Aliens wanting to be rewarded with
citizenship for sneaking across the Mexico/U.S. border and
displaying a great work ethic away from their homeland.
(Of course, when Jamaicans, Africans, and
other people of color have sailed to our shores in leaky boats,
they get caught by the U. S. Coast Guard and turned or shipped
back by INS--now called ICE--but that’s another story for
another column.)
The purpose of this month’s column is not
talk about the Illegal Aliens, but a NEW subgroup, which I have
dubbed the ‘Volunteer Aliens’. Some of them live in our homes.
Some of them ‘attempt’ to ‘breeze by’ their respective schools.
Some of them you see walking the streets of our cities. Some of
them fill our headlines, jails--and morgues.
It may shock many of us to know that every
time a teen drops out of school another Volunteer Alien is born
with their final destination being a land below the poverty
line.
PUTTING YOU IN THE DRIVER‘S SEAT:
I purposely capitalized the terms ‘Illegal
Aliens’ and ‘Volunteer Aliens.’
Now, let’s probe our collective memories.
Remember about a decade ago that many U. S.
companies made a conga line south across the border with the
‘illusion’ of making such moves because of ‘cheaper labor
costs’? That was code for ‘searching for slave labor’…but I
digress. Here’s another memory tester: When did we start to see
an explosion of folks crossing the border? Right! Just as soon
as U. S. companies began moving south!
To yours truly, the entire Illegal Alien
issue in this new century is just as easy to understand as
slavery was in the past few centuries.
It’s all about the money, baby.
Doubt me? Let’s do some quick business math
and put you in the corporate boardroom as the owner of a small
company. What is the number one cost that will either make or
break a small business? That’s right--a company’s labor cost! If
you, as a business owner, can find a worker who is willing to
work for LESS than the minimum wage, would you hire that person?
Even IF that person were a recent ‘under the cover of darkness’
arrival to these shores? While many of us may say NO, remember,
you are the owner of a small business, which means that you may
be more than happy to say YES, just to keep your doors open.
ENTER ‘TIME MAGAZINE’ AND A GRIM
COVER STORY:
The April 2006, Time Magazine had a
great cover story on the rising dropout rate in America.
Entitled: “Dropout Nation”, it featured teens in--and out--of
school in Shelbyville, Indiana which is not too far away from
the home city of yours truly. It was hard not to miss that
magazine, with the defiant face of a young white girl on the
cover.
She is the Poster Child of the Volunteer
Aliens.
I’m not going into all of the statistics,
teen angst, surveys or parents wringing their hands over how
many teens--white and black--are bypassing the school house door
for the ‘quick buck’ at a fast food joint or some other
enterprise, only to find out that they have to have work
permits, pay taxes, and engage in surviving from paycheck to
paycheck. The high school dropout--just like the dropout in the
magazine cover story--quickly learns that without an education,
their earning power quickly shrinks, and their upward mobility
in an open society is quickly halted. No one ‘forced’ them to
drop out. They ‘volunteered’ for the thankless trip out of the
schoolhouse door. Instead of hearing the strains of music and
the sounds of applause, these ‘new aliens’ only hear the sound
of the door hitting them in the butt as they head down the
stairs and out into real life…uneducated and unprepared.
PLIGHT OF ILLEGAL AND VOLUNTEER
ALIENS THE SAME:
The Illegal Alien takes whatever job they
can find, and that job is usually under the minimum wage. This
is the similar mindset of the Volunteer Alien. The Illegal
Alien, for all practical purposes, is at the mercy of the
employer. So is the Volunteer Alien. The Illegal Alien will have
a ‘crash pad’ rental property involving several of their friends
where they can pool their resources. The Volunteer Alien has the
same agenda. The Illegal Alien pays for everything in cash,
worships the dollar bill, and is constantly on the lookout for
those ‘free’ items that allow them to continue to exist for just
another day. So does the Volunteer Alien. Lastly, the Illegal
Alien, for whatever reason, is just too hardheaded to go through
the legitimate citizenship process just like others who have
come to the shores of this land. The Volunteer Alien is too
hardheaded to admit that their parents, teachers, and friends
were right…life was a lot better in school.
It is easy to see why fewer and fewer
people are feeling sorry for either group.
Brothers, this is a twisted portrait of
life in the USA. While we have to look to national and state
leaders to formulate, adopt, and have the courage to enforce a
decent immigration policy, we have to re-learn to the mantra of:
‘Get your education, kid’ in many of our communities. It is more
than an economic issue: it is a family preservation issue.
While some of the best and brightest young
men (and young women) among us have bought into the ‘beautiful
lie’ that being a Volunteer Alien at 15, 16, and 17 will
miraculously spell ‘economic success’ at 21, 25, and 30, they
seem to forget that marriages, families, and households are
closely tied to the earning potential of the man of the house.
Like it or not brothers, marriage is still biblical and socially
acceptable in our ‘fast’ society. Also, it is UP to the MAN to
provide for his household. Get a young Black man to give away
his education is the prevention of another intact Black family
getting off the ground, AND it will cause the next generation of
children born to that brother (usually outside of marriage) to
hate spending time in school--just like their father!
Don’t shout me down when the truth is
flowing.
Of course, there is more. I don’t know if
you have noticed, but there is a big sneeze forming in the ranks
of the majority culture to ‘blow many a mind,’ thanks to that
TIME cover story I mentioned earlier. Like it or not, brothers,
we ALL know who will get pneumonia when that sneeze eventually
comes forth in all its fury…and it will not be those of the
majority culture.
Sadly, if
one has chosen to become a Volunteer Alien, they may become
frozen in their decision when that sneeze does materialize. The
thawing period for one who is AWOL from the classroom is no
joke. Just ask many of those who ‘dropped out’ of school, and
‘dropped into’ crime. Their new classrooms have bars…and
guards…along with teachers.
THE GIRLS HAVE GONE…STUPID!
Earlier this spring, two articles out of
the eastern portion of the United States kept me laughing
heartily. One was from one major newspaper of record out of
Washington D.C., and the second was from the OTHER major
newspaper of record from the same city. The first article dealt
with ‘why’ older Black women (32 and up) are ‘suddenly’ turning
their noses up at the prospect of marriage. The second article
dealt with the increase in the number of all-female gangs in the
nation’s capital, many of them run by younger Black women (16 to
21)--some of them who are ALSO out-of-wedlock mothers.
What had me laughing at these two stories
(which came out the same week, by the way) was my unintended
reading between the lines: “Brothers, if you do decide to marry,
pick a sister between 22 to 31 years old, as there is a better
chance that you will avoid some of these sisters who have
gone…stupid!”
THE BWS HAS BEEN ACTIVATED:
On that note, I have turned the key and
activated the BWS--The Brotherhood Warning Service, as I firmly
believe that more of us will be ‘asked’ about our reaction to
these two throwaway pieces of modern journalism.
Here is my ‘short’ inventory that I would
hope every man would remember.
Men, it was NOT that long ago that we were
told ‘the lie’ of ‘more Black men are in prison than in
college’. Next, we were ‘informed’ that more and more Black men
were on the ‘DL’. Next, we were ‘bombed’ with the fact that
Black men would not get married and LOVED the thug life.
Recently, it was stated in the MSM that regardless of how much
progress we have made, Black men still ‘ain’t making it’ and are
falling further and further behind. If I left out any lies
besides these aforementioned flights of fantasy, please email
me, Amen?
Now the slipper is on the other foot, and
the lipstick and earrings have come off of some female writers.
Desperate (themselves) to ‘find’ a husband (instead of waiting
for God to send them one), some sisters have taken it upon
themselves to police the men that they casually know and
‘declare’ that Black women are just NOT interested in getting
married anymore! Let me state, for the record that I have tried
to contact some of these bitter sisters. I keep telling some of
these writers that alcohol, drugs, anger, depression, and
keyboarding don’t mix; but no one wants to hear the
truth…especially when they fail to respond to my inquiries.
‘Reverse psychology’ is not the best way to
start--or maintain--a relationship.
‘Challenging’ a brothers’ manhood is not
going to get you flowers or a date.
These tactics--and more--just prove,
sister, that you have GONE STUPID!
WHERE IS THE CHURCH?
It is no great secret that many Black
churches have been AWOL in reaching out to Black men with the
gospel and the Bible on a regular, consistent basis. Many, many
men have stopped going to church because the man behind many a
pulpit is not really interested in the brotherhood--but in
keeping the numbers up and women in the congregation attending
and contributing.
We have been told that many Black churches
are ‘run’ by women. Sadly, it appears, that they are not
learning any ‘biblical truths’ in these estrogen-charged
environments. Portions of the Bible have been erased, expunged
and nullified--especially the sections where the older women are
supposed to teach the younger women about serving the Lord,
submitting and listening to their OWN husbands, and loving their
OWN children--even IF the sister has a job and/or career outside
of the home. Of course, a woman who is a wife and mother--in my
view--already has a job and/or career INSIDE of the home, but
this is another column for another day. Suffice it to say,
brothers, that the AAW (Anxious, Angry Woman) is making a
conscious effort to rise from the grave and infect male/female
relationships with her misplaced venom. If more and more
preachers would preach from the Bible what the responsibilities
of a REAL woman are, perhaps the FAKES would scurry back
underground in shame and humiliation. If the ‘holy’ sisters IN
church each and every Sunday would ‘wakes up’ to their
responsibilities Monday through Saturday in this matter and stop
the lies about Black men published by the AAW crew from sea to
shining sea, there would be no need for the brotherhood to get
involved.
WOMAN--POLICE YOUR OWN RANKS!
I’ll take this a bit father: IF the
so-called ‘righteous’ women in our communities would open their
mouths IN support of Black men and accentuate the positives that
we do, and have done, a lot of the lies would not gain traction
in the MSM. You all know who these bitter sisters/sistahs are,
where they live, and where they shop. If I may be so bold, I
have developed a new slogan for sisters/sistahs in the year
ahead--“Woman: Police Your Own Ranks!” The Bible is very clear
about whom we should keep company with, and whom we should stay
away from and shun. Liars, gossipers and those who sow discord
among the brethren (and sisters too) should be kept away from to
the point that one cannot even sit down and eat a meal with
them, let along go shopping with them.
I’ll make it plain at this point; if a
woman knowingly keeps company with another woman who feels its
her ‘duty’ to tear down every man she meets, who feels she just
has to ‘complain’ about the dates that she has been upon via the
newspaper or Internet, or feels that she must ‘whine’ about the
lack of ‘real men’ (translation--men who will bow to her every
whim and scheme) in society--and does NOT call her on it, she is
giving consent to THAT woman to openly destroy her father, sons,
brothers, uncles and other males in her family line, and other
male authority figures throughout society.
Can I get an AMEN from the brotherhood?
The BWS has now ended, and the alarm key
has been pocketed by yours truly for another day. However, I
have one last thing on this month’s column: “Sisters, when will
you step up, and force the stupid women among you to shut up?”
The men in your life are awaiting your
answer…and your action.
We are not perfect sisters, but no one is
lying on YOU…on a daily basis!
NOT
THE ‘WHERE’--BUT THE ‘WHY’!
Years ago, a
veteran high school teacher had an underachieving student in
his class. This teacher tried every learning trick he knew
to get the teen interested and excited about his own
education…but nothing seemed to work.
Then came spring,
and the annual school ‘Career Day‘ arrived.
Without warning,
our underachieving young man seemed to be ‘on fire’ about
something, and his teacher was amazed. What tripped the
teen’s interest? Why was he arriving on--or even ahead--of
time for his classes? Which one of the speakers got under
the student’s skin to get him excited about learning?
A State Police
Officer by the name of Smith.
Trooper Smith
came to Career Day complete with uniform, badge and gun and
had the teen spellbound with his presentation. “Like Trooper
Smith’s presentation, Robby?”
Asked the
teacher, as the student handed in yet another extra credit
assignment.
“Sure did!” Said
Robby.
“What did you
learn from him?” Inquired the teacher.
“The State
Police…won’t hire dropouts!” Stated Robby.
Robby worked hard
and brought up his grades to C’s--better in a few courses.
Eventually, Robby’s hard work got him his High School
diploma, and landed him a job as a State Trooper.
The moral to the
story happened a few years back.
Robby--the
student who didn’t look like he was going anywhere--won the
state’s highest award for bravery as a Trooper. He single
handedly foiled a bank robbery and rescued the hostages kept
by the gunmen.
One of the
hostages was the grand daughter of his high school teacher.
The award was
pinned on his chest by the Governor of the state.
Robby had the
chance to make a short speech. He publicly thanked Trooper
Smith for helping him to turn his life around, and his high
school teacher for having the patience to allow him to
choose a career on his own terms.
SAY WHAT
MIKE?
Now, I admit that
I added a few items to my opening illustration, but I trust
that I have made my point. Brothers, soon, it will be time
for the annual onslaught of articles crying, moaning, and
whining about the ‘lack’ of young men on college and
university campuses. When those articles surface (and some
of them already have) do NOT worry about WHERE these young
men are. Rather, rejoice in the fact of WHY many young men
are NOT where some social planners and feminists would like
them to be.
I’ll let you in
on a little secret. Real young men like being where they can
get their hands honestly dirty; be it on a factory floor,
behind an engine, or a ten-mile hike, or even carrying a
badge and gun.
Real young men
like to choose their own vocations.
Real young men
like to have the opportunity to test themselves.
I believe we, as
a society, have been so conditioned to look for the ‘where’
of an issue that we have slipped passed the ‘why’ of it. The
illustration of the teacher, Robby and Trooper Smith points
out that sometimes teachers have to think past lesson plans,
achievement tests and study halls to let young men actually
‘rub shoulders’ with real life.
Real life does
not exist only inside of classroom walls. Eventually,
students graduate and have to take on life head on. In my
view, those who work with young men have forgotten one basic
thrust of communication: Asking a young man what he would
like to be when he grows up.
ACCEPT THE
FACT THAT BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT:
We have spent far
too much time asking their parent, parents, grandparents,
cousins, and the barber about what young men need that some
of us have chickened out of talking with young men about
what they want out of life--without condemning their initial
career choices. Many have spent too much time trying to make
young men into young women--and getting MAD when they REFUSE
to wear a DRESS!
Not every student
can ‘conform’ to the ‘rules’ of a test, lesson plan, or
survey.
Not every student
has a firm grasp of what it takes to ‘be’ a lawyer or NBA
star.
However, EVERY
young man needs to hear something positive from those adults
around him, even IF the adult just happens to be a
teacher--or a State Trooper.
Let’s be for
real; boys and girls are different. Girls will start
planning their weddings when they are old enough to wear
their mom’s high heels. Boys will think about being the star
quarterback, or the brave soldier while they are playing
video games or at the neighborhood playground. A young woman
will have her life organized, sorted and filed from cradle
to high school; a young man will not think that far ahead.
There is NOTHING
wrong with this arrangement.
One central
difference between the sexes: Boys like to get dirty; girls
do not!
TEEN MALES
WILL ALWAYS ACHIEVE WHEN CHALLENGED:
We have turned
the words ‘challenge’ and ‘achievement’ into negatives among
many of today’s young men. It is NOT solely the fault of
single parent homes that we have a generation of
‘effeminate’ young men, and ‘masculine’ young women. I lay
the blame at the doorsteps of the entertainment industry and
the education system.
What do we see on
many of our screens--both large and small? Why, the cheater
often wins, the slacker is glorified, the underachiever is
never fired, and the thief and the cop often both have the
same objective--and same agent. Rappers are held to high
esteem, the loud mouth is put on a pedestal, and the ‘smart
mouth kid’ runs his parent’s home. The advertisers, sports
figures and music stars enter our homes--and schools--24/7.
The education establishment has let these individuals into
our classrooms via Channel One, and a host of other means.
There has been an
all out attack on men, manhood, and marriage.
The good news is
that the attack is being met with solid resistance by old
and young alike. More and more of our young men are opting
for careers that are going to train and discipline them for
success, rather than to have a ‘job’. They learned a
loooooong time ago that America’s colleges--and secondary
schools in some cases--have become feminized.
Even the ‘so
called’ private or Christian schools cater more to girls
than boys.
Young men want to
have the right to accept challenges and test muscle. A
teenage boy must be ‘called’ or ‘attracted’ into a
vocation--not thrown into it for the sake of making
society--or the church--‘happy’. Simply stated; young men
want to be a part of an institution that offers Honor, Duty,
and Loyalty. The rugged discipline of an Obstacle Course, a
ten mile hike, or time on the Parade ground, in some cases;
the feel of grease under the fingernails and the strain of
muscle against machinery in others.
The last bastions
of maleness are the shop (Trade School), the military, or
law enforcement. Many young men I have talked with would
rather delay going to college to pick up the experiences
that these vocations--and others like them--offer.
Let us show some
wisdom and encourage young men in their career pursuits.
One day you may
NEED a Trooper like Robby to cross your path.
So what do you think?
If you would like to respond to
this article
click here and sign our
Guestbook to leave a public or private statement, comment or reaction. Mike Ramey is the author of: "The Manhood
Line". A syndicated monthly column, written for men from a biblical, business, and common-sense
perspective. To correspond, e-mail to
manhoodline@yahoo.com.
DO WE NEED TO DRED--SPECIAL ED?
I have a few
simple questions for those among us who have children
involved in the ranks of SE--Special Education: First, has
your child had their Individual Education Program Report
updated for the next school year? Next, how do you know if
your child has been ACCURATELY labeled as a Special
Education student? Lastly, is your child’s school trying to
save SE money by short changing YOUR child’s education
needs?
Brothers, let’s
talk for a little while on the issue of Special Education.
No, I am not an expert…but real life has forced me to ‘study
up’ on the topic. Frankly I am tired of watching parents
being screwed by school systems when it comes to the
progress of our children. I am also tired of seeing young
Black men ‘tracked’ into SE like it is a hotel.
To me, one of the
curiosities of Special Education echoes the sentiment of the
old Eagles’ song, ‘Hotel California;’ meaning a student can
‘check out’ of Special Education…but they can NEVER leave
the program.
I’ve mentioned
before that I have been amazed that it PAYS for a young
Black man to become helpless these days. Parents get fat
checks from the federal government and some state
governments for each child that has a documented learning
disability. School districts get fat checks from the same
governments for the number of ‘helpless’ students (learning
disabled or special education students) they have on their
rolls.
Community
organizations get fat checks to hire social workers and
counselors to ‘reach’ these students with education and
socialization programs--some of them offering more services
than you can imagine. Even the juvenile justice system has a
host of programs tailor made for ‘the helpless’ young
criminal--with local social service agencies providing the
services.
Then, there is
the lack of a stigma seemingly attached to the SE student.
Once again, many of our young Black men live with a host of
letters after their names in tribute to their affliction (MMH,
LD, ED, etc.). They may not be able to spell the name of the
capital of their state, but by golly they can tell you
(quite fluidly in some cases) when they first got their
‘affliction’, what medication is needed to ‘treat it’, and
the name, time, and location of their last ‘therapy’
session.
One veteran
educator in my area nailed the controversy on the head, by
stating that it seemed funny that some of our young men were
‘Special Ed’ students only Monday through Friday, 7am to
3pm, but could go home and play video games, go to parties
or to work, or watch Rap/Hip-Hop videos--and understand
them--on nights and weekends.
THE
UNINFORMED--GET HURT!
In the words of
Aretha Franklin: “Who’s Zooming Who?”
In my humble
opinion, Black parents and their children are the ones
getting zoomed by the Special Education establishment. These
officials, teachers and administrators know the law and the
numbers; they control the designation; and they determine
‘how long’ someone is qualified to be ‘in’ special
education, and ‘when’ they are qualified to leave.
Let me toss a few
dollars at you. In some school districts, the AVERAGE
Special Ed student is worth some $5,000 to $8,000 per year
in federal funding. Thus, the more students in this
designation, the more money the school system can receive in
funding from Uncle Sam. Never mind the fact that taxpayer
pockets are being picked.
I know that there
are students who DO have genuine learning problems and
special education needs. However, it appears to me that the
parent of a special education student has a host of rights
and privileges, but never seems to be advised by the school
or the special education department what these rights
actually are--but they are supposed to ‘trust’ these
‘professionals’ with the mental welfare of OUR children.
Brothers, it is
high time for us to tackle this matter head on.
Can I get an AMEN
from the cheap seats?
As a parent, if
someone wanted to put my child into something that was good
‘for’ their intellectual growth, but would not tell me about
my rights and how I could go about ‘checking up’ on the
rules of this ‘wonderful’ learning system, I would be very
curious at the least. Problem is, many parents in
general--and Black parents in particular--assume that the
‘system’ always knows best.
Balderdash.
GREAT
ARTICLES AND PAPERS ON LINE:
If you think that
I am sinking too much time into the Special Education issue,
let me ask you to do your own research on line. Choose your
search engine and type in the words: ‘Blacks and Special
Education’. You will be amazed at the information that comes
to the top. In 2005 for instance, the Washington Post did an
excellent job examining the subject as some 18-school
systems in the state of Maryland were having problems. Seems
that there were far too many Black students being shipped
off to Special Ed classes without much in the way of
rationale. The article also cited at least 30 school
districts in the state of Virginia with similar problems in
having too many Black students going into Special Ed classes
in comparison to the total numbers of Black students in each
of these Virginia school districts. Further, the abuses of
putting Black children into such programs goes back to the
‘Individuals With Disabilities Education Act’--which was
passed in 1997 (so ‘No Child Left Behind’ did not start this
fire). There are also articles on line from California,
Indiana, Ohio, and a host of other states.
There are also
excellent resources--written in plain English--to inform
parents of their rights and HOW to fight to make sure their
child gets the best in education resources out of their
local school system IF their child is in Special Education
classes.
THREE
PIECES OF CRUCIAL INFORMATION:
Brothers, here
are three bottom-line rights that a parent of a special
education child has, regardless of the child’s designation:
*ONCE per year,
the child and the parent MUST sit down with the SE teacher,
their department head, and the school counselor to see what
progress is being made in terms of the school providing the
resources to educate the SE child. Now, the school may
choose to do this by phone, or by mail, or just between the
parent and the SE teacher. Make sure that ALL the players
AND you and your child are in attendance to get this review
accomplished, for this will determine where your child will
spend their next year.
*BEWARE of being
pressured, pushed, or made to feel inferior about demanding
that your child’s school spend money on your child’s
program. IF your child is judged NOT to be able to
accomplish their studies at school, BY LAW your school MUST
pay for either home bound education (having an SE teacher
come to your home to teach your child), OR, pay for an SE
education for your child at a nearby school corporation that
may have better education opportunities--including
transportation costs for your child.
*DOCUMENT how
your child is doing in their school’s SE program. TAKE GOOD
NOTES. Sometimes, SE teachers WILL socially promote children
‘just so they won’t have to deal with them’. Sometimes, SE
teachers are poorly trained and are just ‘looking to get
paid’. KEEP your documents; write down your concerns, and
share them at the annual get together (preferably during the
current school year) to make sure that your child’s school
is doing their job in providing SE resources for their
education.
When parents
start getting ‘hip’ and learn their rights, Special Ed will
stop being know as ‘Special Dred.’ Of course, this means
that more than a few parents will have to do something they
haven’t done in many a day--start valuing an education ahead
of those nice checks the government sends when you keep a
kid dumb; and a school district without accountability.
BROTHERS--IT IS GETTING BETTER!
As I began to
ponder this month’s column, I had to start off with words of
gratitude, praise and thanks to the great editors,
publishers, and readers of THE MANHOOD LINE. It’s been ten
years since the first column showed up in THE INDIANA
HERALD, spurred on by Dr. Mary Tandy--owner and publisher of
the Black owned paper. Her late husband, Opal, started the
paper in a quest to bring another great Black newspaper into
the world. She continues his work, and so does the rest of
the family. Dr. Tandy’s best quote on the subject of
male/female relations is the following: “When a woman talks
bad about a man, she is also insulting another woman--HIS
MOTHER!”
Never have truer
words been spoken.
I also wanted to
let the brotherhood know one firm fact: It IS getting better
and better to be a man--especially a Black man--in the
United States of America. Men and women are finally starting
to wake up to the fact that putting dresses on men and
keeping them as ‘househusbands’, and shuttling women off to
work in power suits with briefcases is simply NOT working.
How can I tell?
First, let’s
reflect upon my candidate for “Man Of The Year” 2005,
Mr. Randal Pinkett--the first BLACK male to snag the
prestigious label as Donald Trump’s “Apprentice.” Not “The
Apprenti”. Not the” “PC Hour.” Mr. Pinkett WON the game by
playing by “the Donald’s” rules AND doing it with S-T-Y-L-E!
Best of all, when the HEAT was on, Mr. Pinkett did NOT
fold!
If that WAS NOT a
clear, definitive dose of MANHOOD, I’ve been away from the
front lines TOO long!
There’s more to
encourage us in the year ahead. Check the commercials,
churches, and movie offerings. Read the newspapers,
magazines and websites. Cruise the mall and watch the
couples arm in arm. Listen and watch the politicians sweat
over taxes, marriage, and employment. Buzz your e-mail and
see how many positive and uplifting items are arriving from
friends and loved ones.
Especially copies
of my column in many cases.
I received the
following e-mail of praise from a sister who read one of my
columns on men and marriage. One of the basic points of the
column: NO WAY can a woman NAG a man to the altar, as a REAL
man will propose when he is ready to do so. Sister, if you
can’t wait, then you’d better find another date because it
is up to the man to determine whether or not you will be his
MATE.
You tell me if my
reader ‘got it’ by the following sent to me from Florida:
"Thank you,
Thank you & Thank you! I’m a 29 year old divorced sistah and
I thank you for saving my a**!!! That article was very much
so needed! I'm now dating a sweet brother that I would never
exchange him for anyone else in the world, but you just
saved me from loosing him, I saw myself in #4 the nagging "sistah"
I've been nagging him into marrying me and what you stated
was oh so correct that "He will marry me in and on his own
time"! And all I have to say is thank you for saving my some
what nagging behind-- Signed, West Palm Beach, Florida"
WHY I WRITE
FOR MEN:
I’ve been on
quite a few talk shows, have had conversations with various
people around the world, and have been applauded by men and
women from just about every continent on earth. The question
frequently comes up: “Why write ONLY for men?”
I write for men
simply because I have had solid, upright men school (or
mentor me) throughout my life, including--first and
foremost--my late father. Some of these other brothers were
and are Christian men. Others of the brotherhood have a
reverence for God, and a depth of wisdom that had to come
from a deep understanding of people and how they function.
My writings are
jointly forged by success and failure. You see, I ran for
public office more than ten years ago, and lost. However, my
campaign sent some REAL brothers my way who got me to look
beyond my loss, shake my gold pan and deal with the nuggets
that I found in the mud. Ten years later, I’m still shaking
that pan. There is still much truth to mine and share as we
continue on life’s road growing as men.
I also write for
men because too many in the MSM seem to overlook the
obvious.
They, like I, had
a father. I would not dishonor his memory, or his wisdom.
Some sisters (and
some weak brothers) forget that they had a Dad. If the
eighties are being remembered as the ‘Greed’ decade, and the
nineties the ‘Me’ decade, the first decade of the new
millennium has got to be the ‘She’ decade (a.k.a The Decade
of the Shrew). I have never seen commercials, heard songs,
nor read papers and articles dedicated to women being
negative towards men; or, I should say, featuring women
doing their best to try to ‘intimidate’ the men in their
lives. Women poking, prodding, or hitting men to make a
point, or attempt to exert their ‘will’ by calling the man
in their lives a laundry list of items, ending with: “Well,
you AIN’T a man!” Then, when he knocks her out, cusses her
out, or throws her out--she is amazingly quiet about how
much manhood her ‘so called man’ had. Seems he had JUST
enough to fire her and find a BETTER woman with whom he
could share his life.
HUMOR INSTEAD
OF HYPERTENSION--MEN HAVING THE LAST LAUGH:
I’ve noticed
something about this Decade of the Shrew. Men are meeting
the insults, anger, and demands of the female sex--with
determination and laughter. Randal Pinkett is but one
example. Toby Keith and his song ‘Big Blue Note’
features a man who’s wife left him, cleaned out the house
and bank accounts while he was at work. To add insult to
injury, she leaves him a piece of her mind on a sheet of
blue paper. Sure, the brother ‘falls a part’ for a little
while, but eventually gets a grip on himself, tosses the
note off a cliff and gets back to living again. “She’s
gone,” Keith dots the drama towards the end of the song.
Yes, it is a Country and Western standard, but a good point,
is a good point.
Brothers, let’s
be for real. There is no need for bitterness if she decides
to ‘walk’ on you. There IS another opportunity coming down
another street, and in a lot of cases the next opportunity
is a LOT better quality of woman.
You see brothers,
there are some YOUNGER sisters who have decided NOT to take
a swig from the ‘feminist cauldron’. They LIKE men; and
their like their man to be a MAN, not one of those
‘metrosexuals’ who are into silk, psychology, and sexy nails
on themselves. These ‘retro’ sisters like to be pampered,
adored, and spoiled. They ‘may’ work a job, and ‘may’ even
make more than their husband; but they are LOYAL to him and
their children. These sisters, like my wife says, worked on
their MRS. Degrees before they started working on their B.A,
M.A., or PhDs.
In short, they
LIKE the rice, the ring, and the preacher along with the ‘I
Do’ of marriage.
THESE sisters are
waiting for you by the dozens! Just let the Bible, the Lord,
and your upright character lead you to them. Quit taking
your cues from M-T-V or B-E-T and stick with G-O-D.
Brothers, it IS
getting better out there.
So, regardless of
when you read this column, rest assured of one thing: THE
MANHOOD LINE has passed its ten-year milestone and the hits
are just gonna KEEP on coming! Thanks for your support
brothers, and let us SAIL ON!
Full speed
ahead…for Manhood!
Warning: The Following Column May Contain Language
Unsuitable For Some Readers of “The Manhood Line”
WHAT
THEN--DO WE SAY? PART TWO
Time was, a boy who was fatherless
due to the premature death of his dad was taken under the
wing of a variety of upstanding men and built into a strong,
confident and godly man. Those members of the brotherhood
deserve our appreciation.
Fast
forward a few decades. A boy now has additional reasons for
being fatherless. He may be the result of a weekend fling, a
deliberate act of pregnancy, or a few clicks on the Internet
to have a child without the ring, rice, and preacher. Oh
yes, don’t expect the single mother to be all that anxious
to turn him over to the REAL men of the community for
training.
Don’t
shout me down when I’m on a roll.
As
current society is rooted in sexual fantasy rather than
marital reality, we now have a cottage industry dedicated to
the fatherless; a host of grants and social programs
designed to replace the need for the Bible, marriage, the
church, and upright men. Schoolhouses have become one-stop
shopping centers. Forget the 3 R’s; now we have health care,
welfare, and legal aid in the schoolhouse. Also, community
centers and churches have after hours programs to replace
family mealtime. Social workers replace family discussions.
Jail, Juvie (juvenile) and waiver hearings replace parental
discipline.
What
of the single mother? Well, she can continue to ‘get her
itch scratched’ by whatever male who might be breathing (age
is optional). She does not worry about the need for
marriage. Neither does she have to ‘go public’ with her OOW
(Out Of Wedlock) bundle of joy for manhood training of any type. Various
family members, social commentators, and church members have
allowed her a ‘pass’ to have full rights as a member of the
community.
I’ll
never forget the conversation I had with a woman who had two
kids out of wedlock--a boy and a girl--both of them in their
later teens. The mother seemed unrepentant while we talked.
Her girl was about to have her own OOW child--making her a
grandmother and her son was out running the streets. “I
can’t find a ‘good’ man,” the woman said in the familiar,
condescending tone meant to ‘tar and feather’ all Black men
for her situation. I suppose, in the back of her mind that
she hoped that I would feel sorry for her and let her sin
off the hook--like so many other folk had over the years.
“Sister,” I noted, “seems to me you found a ‘good’ man TWICE
to come up with those two kids of yours.”
The
sister got real quiet after that rebuke.
STRAIGHT UP BIBLE--BASTARDS DO EXIST:
Let’s
be for real; bastards DO exist in our various villages. No
matter what some preacher might preach, or what some ‘loose
headed’ church member or deacon might say. No matter what
some other columnists may write. Bastard IS the correct term
for OOW children. No matter how defiant single mothers want
to be, from a biblical perspective, God does NOT appreciate
children born outside of the bonds of marriage.
An
illegitimate child carries a TEN-generation biblical curse
on their heads--one of the strongest and longest curses
found in the whole of scripture. Until the child sets things
right with God, he/she will be trapped in a vicious circle
of defeat and destruction--including the duplication of the
SAME sin that brought the child into the present world in
the first place.
Seems
to be pretty plain language to me, Amen?
But
there is still good news! In the Book of Judges, God did use
a man by the name of Jephthah to destroy the enemies of
ancient Israel AFTER his hometown kicked him out. You see,
Jephthah was a bastard. When he was young, his countrymen
kicked him out of town because of his OOW origin.
Years
later, these same men had to go beg this brother to come
back to rescue them from certain destruction. Of course,
Jephthah had to get right with God in order to be used to
help his people. Nevertheless, he was made a Judge in Israel
after he and his crew destroyed the enemy God’s way.
CONTINUING DOWN THE LIST:
I must
make it plain at this point. The brotherhood CAN NOT take
the law into their own hands regarding the treatment of OOW
kids. In short, we are not allowed to disrespect them or
their parent. We are to help them onto the right road of
maturity. Let me continue, as some of you defiant sisters
and weak brothers need to read on. At the same time, we of
the brotherhood are NOT to candy coat or ‘PC’ the family
situation, just to make the mother and/or child ‘feel good
about themselves’.
How
are we truly supposed to act towards those young men in our
communities who are the result of illegitimate origin? The
natural follow up to that question: How then do men make a
positive impact on such boys? Another thorny issue is how to
address the brother who has grown up in a toxic environment
where his single mother has ‘come out’ or ‘has been on the
down low’ (a la Sheryl Swoopes) or worse?
Simple. These young men MUST be BUILT into upright men.
As I
mentioned in my last column, there are four principles that
are recommended in the building process.
FIRST,
the mother MUST be honest enough to have told their child
how they got to where they are. IF the mother does not want
to be honest with her own child about her life, leave her
and her family alone--as you are heading into a no-win
situation. SECOND,
mother and child must be ushered back to the Bible, the
church, and Jesus Christ--as He alone is the one who can
break all of the curses associated with illegitimate
children. Again, if mother nixes this, move on to a family
who will accept your help on these terms--not on the terms
of the present world system.
These first two points are
non-negotiable!
Here
are the other two principles:
THIRD,
WE need to BUILD the young men up in the skills of manhood,
work, and becoming providers. Not through marches and
rallies, but day-to-day contact.
Brother, YOU must be AVAILABLE. A few young men around you
will be making their way to your office, your beat, or your
home to talk with you. They know who you are; you don’t need
an award for doing something God has created you to
do--being an encourager!
Don’t
push them away!
YOU have the power to do more to
encourage these young men to stay drug free, crime free, and
IN school. The common, upright, Christian man is the most
effective tool in this fight, provided he come out of the
tool box and hit’s the road of life running.
LASTLY:
WE need to BUILD young men in terms of modeling UPRIGHT behavior. WE need to put away the tobacco, profanity, drugs, liquor,
and back door relationships. WE need to grow up, straighten
up, and operate on the up-and-up in all of our dealings. If
our OWN house is not in order, we are in the wrong. WE
cannot teach what we are not willing to do in disciplining
ourselves.
As I
bring this commentary to a close, let me address the
brothers who were OOWs, and are now men in many of our
communities. Brothers, YOU need to deal with some hurts that
were done to you in the past, as you are hurting others in
the present. Otherwise, you will continue to be
uncomfortable around the genuine, upright men in your
community. Upright men who have been trying work with
you…but have been pushed away, year after year. My advice
for you is simple as well: Stop counting yourself as a
‘single mother’s child’. Get the woman out of you and
recognize yourself as a M-A-N. It will make a big difference
in dealing with the rest of the brotherhood and other young
men who may be in your current shoes.
Warning: The Following Column May Contain Language
Unsuitable For Some Readers of “The Manhood Line”
WHAT THEN--DO WE SAY? - PART ONE
As
this column closes in on its ten-year anniversary mark,
there is still much ground to cover, and issues to be
brought before the brotherhood. You see, no matter how
saved, sanctified, and full of the Holy Ghost one may
profess being; no matter how many ‘Million’ marches one has
attended; no matter how many protests one has initiated; no
matter where one stands on the abortion issue, one does not
have to go too far down the street to ‘bump’ into a child
born outside of wedlock.
The
biblical term for such a child is ‘bastard’--but I digress.
According to a report issued by the National Center for
Health Statistics in October 2005, a record number
out-of-wedlock births--nearly 1.5 million--were born to
unmarried women in the United States in 2004. Once more,
those births make up more than 35 percent of ALL domestic
births. The increases in these births--according to
published reports--are taking place among women in their
20s, the age range in which fertility in women is at its
highest. Teen mothers made up slightly less than 25 percent
of those births, meaning that the births--for the most
part--happened to WOMEN who KNEW what they were DOING and
did not want to marry.
Now, let us be clear here. ANY child BORN OUTSIDE of the
bonds of marriage--no matter the technology used or the
rationalization put forth--is still an out of wedlock child.
Such children used to be tagged as ‘illegitimate’. However,
because more and more women of money and influence have been
birthing them, they have lost that social stigma by being
‘renamed’.
THE
RENAME GAME:
Years ago, there was a song that made a huge impact on the R
& B charts called: “The Name Game”. These days, we are
surrounded by people, pressure groups, and a gullible
mainstream press anxiously specializing in the ‘Rename
Game’; whereby words that have a certain truth attached to
them, like ‘Adultery’, are repackaged and renamed in order
to remove some of their sting, like the ‘Affair’ instead of
the ‘Adulterous Relationship’.
Of
course, you may change the word, but you can’t hide the
guilt, nor the final result of the sin. In terms of an
illegitimate child, the child may be ‘called’ an
out-of-wedlock child, but it will still be regarded as a
‘bastard’ by society.
Even if that child is carrying the mother’s name.
Another victim of the ‘rename’ game has been the truth.
There have been MANY instances where a man has learned that
he is the father of a child--and wants to MARRY the mother.
Unfortunately, she would rather have her ‘independence’ (and
a healthy dose of child support) to ‘battle on’ in a cruel
world, rather than give in to tradition and take the man’s
name--ring and all--and give her child what he/she truly
needs.
A
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