The Ramey Commentaries

SAGGING PANTS & THE REAL BLACK DEAL

Is it me, or has the 'sagging & bagging' issue been getting a few folk HOT 'under the collar'? I've had the chance to 'read' a host of the so called 'wisdom' on the issue of sagging pants. Let me toss in my .02 from the perspectives of being a Gang Specialist and having served in the capacities of Teacher and Probation Officer/Juvenile--Felony Level.

While SEVENTY PERCENT of Rap/Hip Hop Music is BOUGHT by WHITE TEENS and YOUNG WHITE ADULTS, GUESS who is getting harassed about 'sagging pants'? More and more of the urban school districts in America are adopting uniforms to 'curb' the problem. More and more local and state lawmakers are 'slamming' teens for this 'social statement' in an 'effort' to 'curb crime'. Guess who is getting 'hammered' on such wear by BLACKS in education, government, and the law?

It AIN'T the WHITE KIDS.

Let's throw some strikes on this topic. Think back, Black Parents and Black Grandparents when Swing and Motown came out? Who were the ones 'sneaking into' the Black clubs to 'absorb' our culture and music? Hmmm? Now, look at the landscape of complaining today. I'm not hating, I am stating. I'm not a racist, but a realist!

IT IS THE WHITE KIDS!

The young, white establishment grabs and mimics the exotic then, after all of the 'juice' (race

identification) has been wrung out (or twisted) it is cast into the mainstream, and they 'grow up'. The only difference is that nobody is picking on other 'races'.

Educators and Cops are not 'wholesale' slapping around whites who mimic the behavior, but those whom THEY 'perceive' originated the behavior are getting rousted.

I don't care what kind of grades a young Black man or a young Black woman are making. Since many of us have NOT 'pooled our money' and 'built the economic infrastructure of many of our communities', the MAJORITY community WILL determine whom and HOW they will interact, based upon APPEARANCE. At 11pm at night when OUR TEENS are 'sagging and hootchying' on the public street corner, a GED or High School Graduated Jackie Law white cop with a badge and a gun operates on perception is reality. He may 'hang' with Blacks and Latinos after his shift, and he may have (like the Michael Bolton character from the hit film 'Office Space') a COLLECTION of HARD CORE Hip Hop in his private vehicle. He MAY even have a Black or Latino woman as his girlfriend or wife. But, once the uniform goes on and the shift starts, guess WHO is the ENEMY?

Same thing with 'Sally Saddleshoes' white school teacher, who is in the public schools and in her first few years of teaching; yes, she danced to Rap in the college bars (possibly sans her top...but I digress); yup, she can SHOUT OUT the lyrics in her car with her other academic functioning male and female 'buddies'; she may even have some Dr. Dre in her CD player or MP3. But from 9 to 5, she is interested in upholding the 'system' against the 'barbarian hordes'.

She wants her college education loans paid. She is in 'survival' mode (because the system has programmed fear into her about 'certain' kids) and 'going along to get along' (so she may 'advance in her career', and eventually move to a better school district).

Oh, I've been employed in these professions, once upon a time. I've seen it, up close and personal. For those who don't believe what I am saying, then that's just too bad. Truth is still truth, whether or not you have experienced it.

Black Parent and Black Grandparent, hear me out. THE REAL BLACK DEAL? OUR teens NEED to re-learn how to dress for success, rather than dress to be a mess in order to survive economically in a land that may send mixed signals about success, but is DEAD UP IN IT concerning 'the unwritten dress code'. Sagging equals ECONOMIC pain...EVEN from BLACK employers.

One thing that is true; the parent or grandparent who 'lets' their child set the tone for what the child will or will not do is a FOOL, and is RAISING a statistic. Just in the last 12 months, I have had a former client murdered, the mother of a former client murdered, and another former client NOW, as BARELY adult, facing a murder rap. All THREE of these individuals were given their options well before their troubles by yours truly and others. They 'convinced' the adult authority figure in their lives that 'they' knew best about 'life' and how to 'dress'.

They are JUST as DEAD or in HOT WATER because they DID not LISTEN.

The Bible says that: "The way of the transgressor is hard." Put simply, those who mock God's authority line, or those whom He determines to be part of His authority line (parents, grandparents, cops, courts, teachers, judges) will have a HARD way to go. Yes, on TV it may be CUTE to have folk mouth off to authority figures, but the REAL DEAL is jail bars are JUST as hard to serve as a 'wake up call' to those in real life who want to try it!

Children need leadership, guidance, and truth from older family members. The REAL DEAL in America right now is that society is SHIFTING BACK concerning casual dress. In the late 1990s, Casual Dress began to be 'phased out' of the corporate climate. Next, Hampton Unviersity (a Black University) demanded that it's MBA students started coming to class in business casual attire. Recently, a WHITE college's undergraduate Business program ordered their students to shuck the 'low riders' for business casual attire to be 'ready' for interview, internships, etc. In other words, if you DRESS professional, you will likely ACT professional AND you will be perceived as a professional by the status quo. Even COPS know better than to use a PR-24 on a well-dressed young Black man or young Black woman because...here's the 'ta-da'...they remind them of their OWN children!

The REAL DEAL? Yup, being played out RIGHT in front of us! Teachers, sadly, do NOT have a dress code, for the most part. Some of THEM don't have the morals of alley cats, and allow their students (some of them our children) to 'slouch' their way through the education process to weaken the recruitment pool building up against their nieces, nephews and children. Law Enforcement (which includes Probation, Parole and Corrections Officers) has a dress code...and are trained to spot those who don't obey the code. The first person who 'looks' like a criminal, or 'out of place' is the one who is stopped.

THAT'S THE REAL BLACK DEAL, BABY!

SOME Black Parents and Black Grandparents talk a good game when it comes to what our teens SHOULD be doing, EXCEPT when it comes to the excuses they OFFER for the TEENS in their own HOUSEHOLDS!!! SOME Black Parents and Black Grandparents STILL hold that it is a TRAGEDY for ANOTHER BLACK CHILD to be caught gang banging, but 'their' little 'darling' was 'innocent'.

MOST COPS operate on the principle: "IF It walks like a duck...." They ALSO operate on the term: "Justifiable Homicide" (Well, your Honor, he/she LOOKED like a gang banger...so I HAD to shoot! How was I supposed to know that he/she was an Honor Student?????)

Let's take a trip back into time. Sagging Pants were BORN in PRISONS! They were done that way so as to IDENTIFY those inmates who were either ADVERTISING for HOMOSEXUAL favors, OR LETTING the GP.

(Population) know that they would be willing for a QUICKIE. Check it out for yourselves with other family members who had done time in the JOINT. When this FACT is passed on to the sagging thugg of today, their response is a blank stare and 'SO'??? However, the REST of society REMEMBERS the CODE! Recently a member of the US Senate had to RESIGN in disgrace because he had sent some signals to a Vice Cop in a public restroom. You think that YOUR child won't be judged by the clothing that they wear?

When you have teens consuming MASS quantities of Hip Hop videos, coupled with BLACK outlets such as BET, RADIO ONE, etc. putting forth the WORST that there is to offer, and EXPORTING the 'Beautiful Lie'

into the MSM and the AROUND the world, why do you think there is a problem in us RESPECTING ourselves?

We are so 'wrapped up' in this 'give a brother or sister a pass' that we have 'accepted' the criminal, and have 'disregarded' the honest, hard working, and talented. How SICK is this? Rather, 'What's written on the BUTT of YOUR daughter's jeans?'

Hey, this is just my .02. But, take it from me; this 'sagging' mentality has spread to the courts, the schools, and the churches. MANY of our young people are IGNORANT of our culture and history and FEW BLACK PARENTS have the guts to confront them with the fact that "African Americans came from Kings and Queens...NOT from the gutter!"

THE REAL BLACK DEAL? Are you raising your teen to be a success, or a statistic? If the former, you have my support. If the latter, you have my sympathy, because you WILL be attending a LOT of funerals. Society is shifting away from the 'casual'.

look, and Black Parents, Black Grandparents, and Black Teens need to shift away from the excuses.

To let the inmates to not only run the asylum; but to die in it to protect some teen's 'feelings' or shield them from reality, or allow them to nuture a warped dream of fashion sense at the expense of common sense and racial pride is not only wrong; it is suicidal! And...guess who picks up the tab for allowing the illusion to continue?

ALL of us...and that's the REAL BLACK DEAL!

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The Hot Ghetto Mess (HGM) Controversy--Misplaced Outrage?

By Mike Ramey

When is the best time to kill an idea?

At its infancy!

The controversy surrounding HGM and BET is truly sad, just as much as the controversy surrounding Bill Cosby, Charles Barkley, and others who have the guts to speak out on the problems within our own community. There are those who have the courage to speak, and, of course, there are those who want to silence the truth.

But wait...there's more!!!!

When the former head of one major BLACK organization had the 'audacity' to come down on Rap Music & Hip Hop Culture a few years back, efforts were made to shame this woman. Now, because we have seen the problems caused by such music, and the ten years of further damage done to Black men and Black women.

In the words of Rush Limbaugh: "The trail blazers are the ones who take the arrows!"

Now, we have a lot of 'Black Trash' on VH1 and MTV. Where is the outrage from 'the community'? Oh, I see; it's 'not suspect' when the checks are pocketed by 'the hood'...no matter how much Flav and Monique are the new Steppin Fetchit and Ain't Jamima.

HGM shows the end result of wrong actions and wrong behavior without the 'Hollywood Photoshop' that many are used to. If Min. Scott and others want to cheer the pounding on HGM and BET, why don't you take on the REAL Culprits...the folk at VH1 and MTV.

Remember; SEVENTY PERCENT of the Rap/Hip Hop culture is consumed by WHITE MALES...many of them the skinny, geeky 'Michael Bolton' types
from 'Office Space', who will put up Snoop Dog posters, and Blast NWA CDs in their cars, but are still SCARED of people of color.

The Mrs. and I were watching one network the other night on cable. Parliament/Funkadelic was BLASTING out in one commercial. Back in the 1970s when George Clinton, etc. were hot in the hood, WHITE FOLK HATED their music. Now, P-Funk is the soundtrack in commercials, just as so many other 'hated' music offerings from the Disco era.

Please...let's not do massahs work for them. HGM MAY be the way, on the tube to sicken us to the point that folk WILL do better....VH1 and MTV still treat Blacks and Browns as their latest pets...and
few BET blacks take them on at their game.

Mike Ramey
The Manhood Line
manhoodline@yahoo.com

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BRINGING THEM BACK HOME: GANGBANGERS VS. THE MODERN CHURCH

BY M. G. RAMEY

As I sat down to write this column, I paused to reflect upon an exhausting week.

First, my wife informed me that the teenaged son of a dear family friend sat locked up in our juvenile detention center. His crime? Hanging out with ‘a buddy’ who had been engaging in a drug transaction…and was arrested by police.

Second, I had just finished a closed-door teaching on the dangers of street gangs to a select audience of school administrators from one area of my home city.

Finally, I had the opportunity to watch a portion of Ving Rhames’ production of the movie ‘Animal,’ a no-holds barred drama about the struggle of a former criminal who was sentenced to prison for his crimes associated in the ‘perfecting’ of his ‘craft’ of ‘street thuggsterism’…only to wind up eventually shot to death by the son he had left behind. The son had chosen to ‘follow’ in his father’s footsteps as the terror of the neighborhood, even though the father--now returned from prison a changed man--tries to prevent his son from repeating his mistakes.

Now, it is not my intent to ‘reinvent’ the wheel when it comes to the subject of street gangs.

There are reams of material on the Internet about ‘gangbangers’ (or ‘bangers’ as I prefer to call them), the different ‘crews’ and ‘cliques,’ colors, hand signs and gestures, and the impact of the current culture on ‘spawning’ a highly intelligent first generation of bangers. It IS my intent to help as many churches as possible avoid being labeled as ignorant when it comes to this subject.

The modern church sponsorship and use of gun buy backs, community rallies, commissions, slogans, finger pointing and public forums will not deter gangs from sowing their deadly oats. Soul winning, street evangelism and a realization that bangers of all races and sexes need salvation, will do wonders in neutralizing their worship of money, mayhem, and muscle to make their voices heard.

In short, it will take a spiritual solution to confront this spiritual problem.

That’s right…I did say ‘a spiritual problem.’

In the world of the gang, their ‘religion’ is spelled out in broad, fleshly terms: “If one can put it in a pocket, around a neck, in a blunt, worn on one’s back or take for a drive down the street, it is worth worshiping. In the gang culture, there IS no such thing as sexual discrimination. Young women can serve to pleasure the males in a gang, or, they can go out and practice the art of the beat down in their OWN gangs. In my home city of Indianapolis, Indiana, there have been at least three girl gangs identified by local law enforcement authorities as far back as 2004. They just want to get in on the fun of banding together to right perceived wrongs and ‘handling their business,’ just like their male counterparts. Locks in socks have replaced lip-gloss as a daily accessory in more than a few girls’ purses and handbags in some schools. A beat down given by a group of girls against one girl is just as dangerous and hurtful as a group of boys doing the same thing to one boy.

The ONLY way to stop them is a three-pronged approach: A strong law enforcement presence, coupled with a strong church presence and a no-nonsense community of determined people to regain control over our streets.

Please keep in mind that there are many who do not WANT the problem to get better in order to ‘maintain’ their own perceptions of ‘community visibility’ and power. After all, a ‘barking’ watchdog gets more press than a ‘doing’ watchdog. They also give a perception that they are ‘concerned’ about the problem rather than expending their own resources for realistic and workable solutions.

JUST HOW DO GANGS WORK?

As one who has spent the better part of one career or another involved in the areas of crime and justice, I am no stranger to the wiles of street gangs. It is no accident that these predatory organizations surface, are beaten back, lie dormant, and rise again more terrible than their original version.

Today’s street gang is not like the gang model many are familiar with from movies like “West Side Story”. Many modern gangs are no longer ‘segregated’ by race, location, or sex.

Thanks to the wonders of high technology, teens of different races and backgrounds can learn, model and belong to gangs whether they are in Oshkosh, Phoenix or Indianapolis.

Thus, bangers can have web pages on teen-oriented sites such as MySpace, Black Planet, or Facebook--complete with their favorite slogans, signs, symbols and affiliation. It matters little ‘which’ gang may be dominant in the headlines. They ALL operate on three basic principles:

*Power: Street Gangs bring a lot of muscle to the table IF they are allowed to gain in strength. Let a gang loose in one school and they could be in all of the schools of a school corporation. Let a gang spread their graffiti on one side of town, and you will have the murder rate and drug traffic increase at an alarming rate. Some gangs have ‘front’ businesses established to launder money and put on a good front for the media. Others have quietly been able to turn their power into capital to finance political campaigns and turn out the vote movements. Still others have taken their power into seemingly ‘upright’ social organizations dedicated to recruiting new members.

*Fear: There is nothing quite like a few dead bodies on the six o’clock news to frighten an area into silence. A few injured community activists who are against the gang drug trade will prevent others from coming out against the gang in their prevailing neighborhood. A few well-placed threats against a preacher and his family will have many a pulpit quiet on Sunday morning when sin NEEDS to be exposed. A few high profile kidnappings will cause even the best community leader to quake when the clock strikes twelve late at night. Trust me; many bangers quickly push themselves up the criminal ladder past the shaking down of kids for lunch money.

*Ignorance: Of the three, this may be the deadliest of the trio. While some teachers, police officers, and counselors may understand the signs and symbols of the gang scene, many more do not. Roughly every 12 to 18 months, bangers change their signs. The junior high or middle school child that will doodle some seemingly innocent names, symbols, and lyrics onto a notebook cover or the back of their $150 sneakers is not just practicing creative expression; this child is ‘reaching out’ to other potential gang members by ‘hoisting a flag’…letting them know of his interest in joining up with a gang. Unfortunately there is always a risk that a rival gang may spot the child’s intent and correct his efforts with some very physical persuasion.

THE CHURCH HOUSE REMAINS SILENT:

I’ll make another point, which may ruffle some sanctified feathers in many, a church house.

Since many churches have determined that the necessity of soul winning, coupled with street evangelism are out of date by modern standards, the message of the gospel and the power of the scriptures have become muted in the marketplace. This is an interesting phenomenon especially when one considers the religious trappings associated with gang activity.

A ‘Banger’s Bible’ is the constitution and bylaws of their respective gang. Many signs and symbols, numbers and prayers are modeled after what gang members have seen modeled in many churches.

Even the initiation process could be likened to one coming forward and being ‘re born into’ street gang life--complete with official nickname. Make no mistake about it. Gang bangers regard their gangs and turf as a church, their crimes and collections as forms of worship and have members programmed to be quite willing to die to protecting gang secrets.

It takes a willing church and congregation to preach against the sin gangs represent, firmly confront the wrongs that they are doing in a community, and reprogram young minds into the intricacies of good religion, a strong work ethic, and a needed education. Taking a stand against bangers is not for the weak. In some cases, church congregations are going to have to go up against single (and some married) parents who don’t see gang membership as that big a deal--until their son or daughter winds up on the six o’clock news being carted off to jail, prison, or the morgue.

The modern church IS going to have to step into the challenge.

Yes, we have already seen the church’s weak stands against divorce, homosexuality, and out-of-wedlock children. Yes, many gang members and their families attend church without fear of correction or confrontation. Thus some church members may be wearing gang colors under their youth choir robes while presenting a good ‘front’ to the congregation and the pulpit. However, either the gang is going to win, or the church. WE have to make a choice and declare whom we serve.

A SAD STUDY:

The church MUST get back into the rebuking and repentance business. Yes, gang members must be made to understand there may be some repentance; but TRUE repentance involves a change of heart and a change of direction in one’s life.

Repentance means that one determines NOT to commit the same sin again. However, the church also must stand strong and remind gang members there also may be some jail time IF the weapons and drugs are not put down and they walk away from the gang scene.

The good news is that American cities have not become ‘overrun’ by street gangs. There are still far too many young people who are going to school, getting their homework done, and graduating to take their rightful places in society. Yes, some of them do go to church, and even more of them still view the teachings of scripture as being relevant in their lives. The thing concerning those who work in the juvenile justice system is the fact that the ‘good’ students have remained relatively silent when it comes to confronting, or even correcting their wayward classmates.

If the truth were told there is a lot of interaction and below the surface communication within the average U.S. high school. Students themselves often know the ‘ins and outs’ of who is in what relationship, and who is in which gang. Sadly, they oftentimes have to sit idly by; cowed into silence by the very young people they could be helping.

While attending a recent training on gangs, my group was presented with a national study of 2,000 teens that were involved in the street gang scene. It highlighted some eye-opening information on how young people are quickly sucked into the street life:

YOUTH FIRST MEETS A GANG MEMBER--AT 8.9 YEARS OLD

YOUTH PERFORMS FIRST GANG ACTIVITY--9.2 YEARS OLD

YOUTH EXPERIENCES PUBERTY--9 TO 10 YEARS OLD

FIRST TIME INTIMIDATED A PERSON AT SCHOOL--10.4 YEARS

FIRST TIME DISCHARGED A FIREARM--11.3 YEARS OLD

FIRST TIME OBSERVED A DEATH/INJURY RESULT FROM GANG ACTIVITY--11.3 YEARS OLD

FIRST TIME JOINED A GANG--12 YEARS OLD

FIRST TIME ARRESTED--12 YEARS OLD

FIRST TIME HAD A WEAPON FOR PERSONAL USE--12 YEARS

FIRST TIME TATTOOED--13 YEARS OLD

THE CHURCH HOUSE CAN CORRECT THE PROBLEM!

Many modern churches have been outclassed by the tug of the streets on young people.

Sunday after Sunday, teens enter churches not only full of the world’s knowledge of how to be a better negative, they recognize teens--and some adults--who appear to have gotten away with “it,” meaning their dual identities of street thug and church member.

Once more, they actively see the double standard of encouraging young women to dress for success, and allowing young men to exist in their mess, complete with sagging and bagging.

Let me be as upfront as I can at this point: Sin spreads not only by people engaging IN the activity, but people who know better AND give their silent consent! With the arrival of ‘casual’ Sundays on the church scene, teen members have taken this to mean ‘wear your own colors’.

Inside (and outside) of many a church on a Sunday morning, those young men and young women who have experienced a ‘flutter’ with gang life PROUDLY wear the colors associated with their favorite ‘nation’ or ‘set’ AND may ‘flash’ a few signs to rival members, or the general public without fear of public rebuke.

Add to this the fact that some televised national ministries feature pastors and preachers appearing in the pulpit in casual dress with the ‘be like them to win them’ mentality, and one better understands how far the ‘modern’ church has fallen.

How may a church in a city regain the upper hand when it comes to the spread of gangs?

Let me dare say again that this is a spiritual problem that must be dealt with via spiritual means. This is not an arena for the faint of heart. A pastor and a church must realize that this is an ongoing conflict that must be bathed in prayer.

One will be shocked to find how far the arms of gang life ‘stretch’ into the average congregation. More than a few congregations are clearly seeing first generation bangers who are between 12 to 17 years old, who may be on probation or parole in some cases. Many of these young men and young women know their gang signs and affiliations better than their ABCs.

Second, as in dealing with those who may be trapped in cult or occult activity, pastors and churches must realize that they have to regain control of the language of the debate.

Bangers have clearly stated to parents, social workers and teachers that they only know of ‘love’ as members of a gang.

In reality, how can one claim to be showing ‘love’ if they are hurting you, asking you to lie, cheat, and steal, or coercing you out of your virginity ‘for the good of the gang’? Every word that a gang has corrupted must be ‘taken back’ by those who preach and model the gospel, clearly and unashamedly explained from the point of view of the Holy Scriptures, and returned to the seeking individual in the proper biblical context. Lastly, churches and pastors must acknowledge that they are in need of training as to what is going on out in the streets of our communities.

There are police officers, judges, probation officers and teachers in many a congregation who can bring teaching to the church as to how gangs function, operate, and flourish IF pride is swallowed by church leadership and the pulpit.

Gangs are nothing new to many communities. However, it is up to those who call upon the name of the Lord to go about the Father’s business and take those out of the kingdom of darkness and bring them back home. Many young people DO have the prodigal story committed to memory. All they are waiting for is for some courageous Christian man or woman to show them the way out of the darkness, before it not only bites them…but devours them.

M. G. RAMEY is the Pastor of ‘The Forward Church,’ of Indianapolis, Indiana. He is also a Juvenile court Probation Officer, Street Gang Specialist/Certified, and Cult/Occult Researcher. You may contact him at manhoodline@yahoo.com. ©2006 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.

The Manhoodline Comes To An End

Greetings!

NOT THE ‘WHERE’--BUT THE ‘WHY’!

Years ago, a veteran high school teacher had an underachieving student in his class. This teacher tried every learning trick he knew to get the teen interested and excited about his own education…but nothing seemed to work.

Then came spring, and the annual school ‘Career Day‘ arrived.

Without warning, our underachieving young man seemed to be ‘on fire’ about something, and his teacher was amazed. What tripped the teen’s interest? Why was he arriving on--or even ahead--of time for his classes? Which one of the speakers got under the student’s skin to get him excited about learning?

A State Police Officer by the name of Smith.

Trooper Smith came to Career Day complete with uniform, badge and gun and had the teen spellbound with his presentation. “Like Trooper Smith’s presentation, Robby?”

Asked the teacher, as the student handed in yet another extra credit assignment.

“Sure did!” Said Robby.

“What did you learn from him?” Inquired the teacher.

“The State Police…won’t hire dropouts!” Stated Robby.

Robby worked hard and brought up his grades to C’s--better in a few courses. Eventually, Robby’s hard work got him his High School diploma, and landed him a job as a State Trooper.

The moral to the story happened a few years back.

Robby--the student who didn’t look like he was going anywhere--won the state’s highest award for bravery as a Trooper. He single handedly foiled a bank robbery and rescued the hostages kept by the gunmen.

One of the hostages was the grand daughter of his high school teacher.

The award was pinned on his chest by the Governor of the state.

Robby had the chance to make a short speech. He publicly thanked Trooper Smith for helping him to turn his life around, and his high school teacher for having the patience to allow him to choose a career on his own terms.

SAY WHAT MIKE?

Now, I admit that I added a few items to my opening illustration, but I trust that I have made my point. Brothers, soon, it will be time for the annual onslaught of articles crying, moaning, and whining about the ‘lack’ of young men on college and university campuses. When those articles surface (and some of them already have) do NOT worry about WHERE these young men are. Rather, rejoice in the fact of WHY many young men are NOT where some social planners and feminists would like them to be.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Real young men like being where they can get their hands honestly dirty; be it on a factory floor, behind an engine, or a ten-mile hike, or even carrying a badge and gun.

Real young men like to choose their own vocations.

Real young men like to have the opportunity to test themselves.

I believe we, as a society, have been so conditioned to look for the ‘where’ of an issue that we have slipped passed the ‘why’ of it. The illustration of the teacher, Robby and Trooper Smith points out that sometimes teachers have to think past lesson plans, achievement tests and study halls to let young men actually ‘rub shoulders’ with real life.

Real life does not exist only inside of classroom walls. Eventually, students graduate and have to take on life head on. In my view, those who work with young men have forgotten one basic thrust of communication: Asking a young man what he would like to be when he grows up.

ACCEPT THE FACT THAT BOYS AND GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT:

We have spent far too much time asking their parent, parents, grandparents, cousins, and the barber about what young men need that some of us have chickened out of talking with young men about what they want out of life--without condemning their initial career choices. Many have spent too much time trying to make young men into young women--and getting MAD when they REFUSE to wear a DRESS!

Not every student can ‘conform’ to the ‘rules’ of a test, lesson plan, or survey.

Not every student has a firm grasp of what it takes to ‘be’ a lawyer or NBA star.

However, EVERY young man needs to hear something positive from those adults around him, even IF the adult just happens to be a teacher--or a State Trooper.

Let’s be for real; boys and girls are different. Girls will start planning their weddings when they are old enough to wear their mom’s high heels. Boys will think about being the star quarterback, or the brave soldier while they are playing video games or at the neighborhood playground. A young woman will have her life organized, sorted and filed from cradle to high school; a young man will not think that far ahead.

There is NOTHING wrong with this arrangement.

One central difference between the sexes: Boys like to get dirty; girls do not!

TEEN MALES WILL ALWAYS ACHIEVE WHEN CHALLENGED:

We have turned the words ‘challenge’ and ‘achievement’ into negatives among many of today’s young men. It is NOT solely the fault of single parent homes that we have a generation of ‘effeminate’ young men, and ‘masculine’ young women. I lay the blame at the doorsteps of the entertainment industry and the education system.

What do we see on many of our screens--both large and small? Why, the cheater often wins, the slacker is glorified, the underachiever is never fired, and the thief and the cop often both have the same objective--and same agent. Rappers are held to high esteem, the loud mouth is put on a pedestal, and the ‘smart mouth kid’ runs his parent’s home. The advertisers, sports figures and music stars enter our homes--and schools--24/7. The education establishment has let these individuals into our classrooms via Channel One, and a host of other means.

There has been an all out attack on men, manhood, and marriage.

The good news is that the attack is being met with solid resistance by old and young alike. More and more of our young men are opting for careers that are going to train and discipline them for success, rather than to have a ‘job’. They learned a loooooong time ago that America’s colleges--and secondary schools in some cases--have become feminized.

Even the ‘so called’ private or Christian schools cater more to girls than boys.

Young men want to have the right to accept challenges and test muscle. A teenage boy must be ‘called’ or ‘attracted’ into a vocation--not thrown into it for the sake of making society--or the church--‘happy’. Simply stated; young men want to be a part of an institution that offers Honor, Duty, and Loyalty. The rugged discipline of an Obstacle Course, a ten mile hike, or time on the Parade ground, in some cases; the feel of grease under the fingernails and the strain of muscle against machinery in others.

The last bastions of maleness are the shop (Trade School), the military, or law enforcement. Many young men I have talked with would rather delay going to college to pick up the experiences that these vocations--and others like them--offer.

Let us show some wisdom and encourage young men in their career pursuits.

One day you may NEED a Trooper like Robby to cross your path.

So what do you think? If you would like to respond to this article click here and sign our Guestbook to leave a public or private statement, comment or reaction. Mike Ramey is the author of: "The Manhood Line". A syndicated monthly column, written for men from a biblical, business, and common-sense perspective. To correspond, e-mail to manhoodline@yahoo.com.

DO WE NEED TO DRED--SPECIAL ED?

I have a few simple questions for those among us who have children involved in the ranks of SE--Special Education: First, has your child had their Individual Education Program Report updated for the next school year? Next, how do you know if your child has been ACCURATELY labeled as a Special Education student? Lastly, is your child’s school trying to save SE money by short changing YOUR child’s education needs?

Brothers, let’s talk for a little while on the issue of Special Education. No, I am not an expert…but real life has forced me to ‘study up’ on the topic. Frankly I am tired of watching parents being screwed by school systems when it comes to the progress of our children. I am also tired of seeing young Black men ‘tracked’ into SE like it is a hotel.

To me, one of the curiosities of Special Education echoes the sentiment of the old Eagles’ song, ‘Hotel California;’ meaning a student can ‘check out’ of Special Education…but they can NEVER leave the program.

I’ve mentioned before that I have been amazed that it PAYS for a young Black man to become helpless these days. Parents get fat checks from the federal government and some state governments for each child that has a documented learning disability. School districts get fat checks from the same governments for the number of ‘helpless’ students (learning disabled or special education students) they have on their rolls.

Community organizations get fat checks to hire social workers and counselors to ‘reach’ these students with education and socialization programs--some of them offering more services than you can imagine. Even the juvenile justice system has a host of programs tailor made for ‘the helpless’ young criminal--with local social service agencies providing the services.

Then, there is the lack of a stigma seemingly attached to the SE student. Once again, many of our young Black men live with a host of letters after their names in tribute to their affliction (MMH, LD, ED, etc.). They may not be able to spell the name of the capital of their state, but by golly they can tell you (quite fluidly in some cases) when they first got their ‘affliction’, what medication is needed to ‘treat it’, and the name, time, and location of their last ‘therapy’ session.

One veteran educator in my area nailed the controversy on the head, by stating that it seemed funny that some of our young men were ‘Special Ed’ students only Monday through Friday, 7am to 3pm, but could go home and play video games, go to parties or to work, or watch Rap/Hip-Hop videos--and understand them--on nights and weekends.

THE UNINFORMED--GET HURT!

In the words of Aretha Franklin: “Who’s Zooming Who?”

In my humble opinion, Black parents and their children are the ones getting zoomed by the Special Education establishment. These officials, teachers and administrators know the law and the numbers; they control the designation; and they determine ‘how long’ someone is qualified to be ‘in’ special education, and ‘when’ they are qualified to leave.

Let me toss a few dollars at you. In some school districts, the AVERAGE Special Ed student is worth some $5,000 to $8,000 per year in federal funding. Thus, the more students in this designation, the more money the school system can receive in funding from Uncle Sam. Never mind the fact that taxpayer pockets are being picked.

I know that there are students who DO have genuine learning problems and special education needs. However, it appears to me that the parent of a special education student has a host of rights and privileges, but never seems to be advised by the school or the special education department what these rights actually are--but they are supposed to ‘trust’ these ‘professionals’ with the mental welfare of OUR children.

Brothers, it is high time for us to tackle this matter head on.

Can I get an AMEN from the cheap seats?

As a parent, if someone wanted to put my child into something that was good ‘for’ their intellectual growth, but would not tell me about my rights and how I could go about ‘checking up’ on the rules of this ‘wonderful’ learning system, I would be very curious at the least. Problem is, many parents in general--and Black parents in particular--assume that the ‘system’ always knows best.

Balderdash.

GREAT ARTICLES AND PAPERS ON LINE:

If you think that I am sinking too much time into the Special Education issue, let me ask you to do your own research on line. Choose your search engine and type in the words: ‘Blacks and Special Education’. You will be amazed at the information that comes to the top. In 2005 for instance, the Washington Post did an excellent job examining the subject as some 18-school systems in the state of Maryland were having problems. Seems that there were far too many Black students being shipped off to Special Ed classes without much in the way of rationale. The article also cited at least 30 school districts in the state of Virginia with similar problems in having too many Black students going into Special Ed classes in comparison to the total numbers of Black students in each of these Virginia school districts. Further, the abuses of putting Black children into such programs goes back to the ‘Individuals With Disabilities Education Act’--which was passed in 1997 (so ‘No Child Left Behind’ did not start this fire). There are also articles on line from California, Indiana, Ohio, and a host of other states.

There are also excellent resources--written in plain English--to inform parents of their rights and HOW to fight to make sure their child gets the best in education resources out of their local school system IF their child is in Special Education classes.

THREE PIECES OF CRUCIAL INFORMATION:

Brothers, here are three bottom-line rights that a parent of a special education child has, regardless of the child’s designation:

*ONCE per year, the child and the parent MUST sit down with the SE teacher, their department head, and the school counselor to see what progress is being made in terms of the school providing the resources to educate the SE child. Now, the school may choose to do this by phone, or by mail, or just between the parent and the SE teacher. Make sure that ALL the players AND you and your child are in attendance to get this review accomplished, for this will determine where your child will spend their next year.

*BEWARE of being pressured, pushed, or made to feel inferior about demanding that your child’s school spend money on your child’s program. IF your child is judged NOT to be able to accomplish their studies at school, BY LAW your school MUST pay for either home bound education (having an SE teacher come to your home to teach your child), OR, pay for an SE education for your child at a nearby school corporation that may have better education opportunities--including transportation costs for your child.

*DOCUMENT how your child is doing in their school’s SE program. TAKE GOOD NOTES. Sometimes, SE teachers WILL socially promote children ‘just so they won’t have to deal with them’. Sometimes, SE teachers are poorly trained and are just ‘looking to get paid’. KEEP your documents; write down your concerns, and share them at the annual get together (preferably during the current school year) to make sure that your child’s school is doing their job in providing SE resources for their education.

When parents start getting ‘hip’ and learn their rights, Special Ed will stop being know as ‘Special Dred.’ Of course, this means that more than a few parents will have to do something they haven’t done in many a day--start valuing an education ahead of those nice checks the government sends when you keep a kid dumb; and a school district without accountability.

BROTHERS--IT IS GETTING BETTER!

As I began to ponder this month’s column, I had to start off with words of gratitude, praise and thanks to the great editors, publishers, and readers of THE MANHOOD LINE. It’s been ten years since the first column showed up in THE INDIANA HERALD, spurred on by Dr. Mary Tandy--owner and publisher of the Black owned paper. Her late husband, Opal, started the paper in a quest to bring another great Black newspaper into the world. She continues his work, and so does the rest of the family. Dr. Tandy’s best quote on the subject of male/female relations is the following: “When a woman talks bad about a man, she is also insulting another woman--HIS MOTHER!”

Never have truer words been spoken.

I also wanted to let the brotherhood know one firm fact: It IS getting better and better to be a man--especially a Black man--in the United States of America. Men and women are finally starting to wake up to the fact that putting dresses on men and keeping them as ‘househusbands’, and shuttling women off to work in power suits with briefcases is simply NOT working.

How can I tell?

First, let’s reflect upon my candidate for “Man Of The Year” 2005, Mr. Randal Pinkett--the first BLACK male to snag the prestigious label as Donald Trump’s “Apprentice.” Not “The Apprenti”. Not the” “PC Hour.” Mr. Pinkett WON the game by playing by “the Donald’s” rules AND doing it with S-T-Y-L-E! Best of all, when the HEAT was on, Mr. Pinkett did NOT fold!

If that WAS NOT a clear, definitive dose of MANHOOD, I’ve been away from the front lines TOO long!

There’s more to encourage us in the year ahead. Check the commercials, churches, and movie offerings. Read the newspapers, magazines and websites. Cruise the mall and watch the couples arm in arm. Listen and watch the politicians sweat over taxes, marriage, and employment. Buzz your e-mail and see how many positive and uplifting items are arriving from friends and loved ones.

Especially copies of my column in many cases.

I received the following e-mail of praise from a sister who read one of my columns on men and marriage. One of the basic points of the column: NO WAY can a woman NAG a man to the altar, as a REAL man will propose when he is ready to do so. Sister, if you can’t wait, then you’d better find another date because it is up to the man to determine whether or not you will be his MATE.

You tell me if my reader ‘got it’ by the following sent to me from Florida:

"Thank you, Thank you & Thank you! I’m a 29 year old divorced sistah and I thank you for saving my a**!!! That article was very much so needed! I'm now dating a sweet brother that I would never exchange him for anyone else in the world, but you just saved me from loosing him, I saw myself in #4 the nagging "sistah" I've been nagging him into marrying me and what you stated was oh so correct that "He will marry me in and on his own time"! And all I have to say is thank you for saving my some what nagging behind-- Signed, West Palm Beach, Florida"

WHY I WRITE FOR MEN:

I’ve been on quite a few talk shows, have had conversations with various people around the world, and have been applauded by men and women from just about every continent on earth. The question frequently comes up: “Why write ONLY for men?”

I write for men simply because I have had solid, upright men school (or mentor me) throughout my life, including--first and foremost--my late father. Some of these other brothers were and are Christian men. Others of the brotherhood have a reverence for God, and a depth of wisdom that had to come from a deep understanding of people and how they function.

My writings are jointly forged by success and failure. You see, I ran for public office more than ten years ago, and lost. However, my campaign sent some REAL brothers my way who got me to look beyond my loss, shake my gold pan and deal with the nuggets that I found in the mud. Ten years later, I’m still shaking that pan. There is still much truth to mine and share as we continue on life’s road growing as men.

I also write for men because too many in the MSM seem to overlook the obvious.

They, like I, had a father. I would not dishonor his memory, or his wisdom.

Some sisters (and some weak brothers) forget that they had a Dad. If the eighties are being remembered as the ‘Greed’ decade, and the nineties the ‘Me’ decade, the first decade of the new millennium has got to be the ‘She’ decade (a.k.a The Decade of the Shrew). I have never seen commercials, heard songs, nor read papers and articles dedicated to women being negative towards men; or, I should say, featuring women doing their best to try to ‘intimidate’ the men in their lives. Women poking, prodding, or hitting men to make a point, or attempt to exert their ‘will’ by calling the man in their lives a laundry list of items, ending with: “Well, you AIN’T a man!” Then, when he knocks her out, cusses her out, or throws her out--she is amazingly quiet about how much manhood her ‘so called man’ had. Seems he had JUST enough to fire her and find a BETTER woman with whom he could share his life.

HUMOR INSTEAD OF HYPERTENSION--MEN HAVING THE LAST LAUGH:

I’ve noticed something about this Decade of the Shrew. Men are meeting the insults, anger, and demands of the female sex--with determination and laughter. Randal Pinkett is but one example. Toby Keith and his song ‘Big Blue Note’ features a man who’s wife left him, cleaned out the house and bank accounts while he was at work. To add insult to injury, she leaves him a piece of her mind on a sheet of blue paper. Sure, the brother ‘falls a part’ for a little while, but eventually gets a grip on himself, tosses the note off a cliff and gets back to living again. “She’s gone,” Keith dots the drama towards the end of the song. Yes, it is a Country and Western standard, but a good point, is a good point.

Brothers, let’s be for real. There is no need for bitterness if she decides to ‘walk’ on you. There IS another opportunity coming down another street, and in a lot of cases the next opportunity is a LOT better quality of woman.

You see brothers, there are some YOUNGER sisters who have decided NOT to take a swig from the ‘feminist cauldron’. They LIKE men; and their like their man to be a MAN, not one of those ‘metrosexuals’ who are into silk, psychology, and sexy nails on themselves. These ‘retro’ sisters like to be pampered, adored, and spoiled. They ‘may’ work a job, and ‘may’ even make more than their husband; but they are LOYAL to him and their children. These sisters, like my wife says, worked on their MRS. Degrees before they started working on their B.A, M.A., or PhDs.

In short, they LIKE the rice, the ring, and the preacher along with the ‘I Do’ of marriage.

THESE sisters are waiting for you by the dozens! Just let the Bible, the Lord, and your upright character lead you to them. Quit taking your cues from M-T-V or B-E-T and stick with G-O-D.

Brothers, it IS getting better out there.

So, regardless of when you read this column, rest assured of one thing: THE MANHOOD LINE has passed its ten-year milestone and the hits are just gonna KEEP on coming! Thanks for your support brothers, and let us SAIL ON!

Full speed ahead…for Manhood!

Warning: The Following Column May Contain Language Unsuitable For Some Readers of “The Manhood Line”

WHAT THEN--DO WE SAY? PART TWO

Time was, a boy who was fatherless due to the premature death of his dad was taken under the wing of a variety of upstanding men and built into a strong, confident and godly man. Those members of the brotherhood deserve our appreciation.

Fast forward a few decades. A boy now has additional reasons for being fatherless. He may be the result of a weekend fling, a deliberate act of pregnancy, or a few clicks on the Internet to have a child without the ring, rice, and preacher. Oh yes, don’t expect the single mother to be all that anxious to turn him over to the REAL men of the community for training.

Don’t shout me down when I’m on a roll.

As current society is rooted in sexual fantasy rather than marital reality, we now have a cottage industry dedicated to the fatherless; a host of grants and social programs designed to replace the need for the Bible, marriage, the church, and upright men. Schoolhouses have become one-stop shopping centers. Forget the 3 R’s; now we have health care, welfare, and legal aid in the schoolhouse. Also, community centers and churches have after hours programs to replace family mealtime. Social workers replace family discussions. Jail, Juvie (juvenile) and waiver hearings replace parental discipline.

What of the single mother? Well, she can continue to ‘get her itch scratched’ by whatever male who might be breathing (age is optional). She does not worry about the need for marriage. Neither does she have to ‘go public’ with her OOW (Out Of Wedlock) bundle of joy for manhood training of any type. Various family members, social commentators, and church members have allowed her a ‘pass’ to have full rights as a member of the community.

I’ll never forget the conversation I had with a woman who had two kids out of wedlock--a boy and a girl--both of them in their later teens. The mother seemed unrepentant while we talked. Her girl was about to have her own OOW child--making her a grandmother and her son was out running the streets. “I can’t find a ‘good’ man,” the woman said in the familiar, condescending tone meant to ‘tar and feather’ all Black men for her situation. I suppose, in the back of her mind that she hoped that I would feel sorry for her and let her sin off the hook--like so many other folk had over the years. “Sister,” I noted, “seems to me you found a ‘good’ man TWICE to come up with those two kids of yours.”

The sister got real quiet after that rebuke.

STRAIGHT UP BIBLE--BASTARDS DO EXIST:

Let’s be for real; bastards DO exist in our various villages. No matter what some preacher might preach, or what some ‘loose headed’ church member or deacon might say. No matter what some other columnists may write. Bastard IS the correct term for OOW children. No matter how defiant single mothers want to be, from a biblical perspective, God does NOT appreciate children born outside of the bonds of marriage.

An illegitimate child carries a TEN-generation biblical curse on their heads--one of the strongest and longest curses found in the whole of scripture. Until the child sets things right with God, he/she will be trapped in a vicious circle of defeat and destruction--including the duplication of the SAME sin that brought the child into the present world in the first place.

Seems to be pretty plain language to me, Amen?

But there is still good news! In the Book of Judges, God did use a man by the name of Jephthah to destroy the enemies of ancient Israel AFTER his hometown kicked him out. You see, Jephthah was a bastard. When he was young, his countrymen kicked him out of town because of his OOW origin.

Years later, these same men had to go beg this brother to come back to rescue them from certain destruction. Of course, Jephthah had to get right with God in order to be used to help his people. Nevertheless, he was made a Judge in Israel after he and his crew destroyed the enemy God’s way.

CONTINUING DOWN THE LIST:

I must make it plain at this point. The brotherhood CAN NOT take the law into their own hands regarding the treatment of OOW kids. In short, we are not allowed to disrespect them or their parent. We are to help them onto the right road of maturity. Let me continue, as some of you defiant sisters and weak brothers need to read on. At the same time, we of the brotherhood are NOT to candy coat or ‘PC’ the family situation, just to make the mother and/or child ‘feel good about themselves’.

How are we truly supposed to act towards those young men in our communities who are the result of illegitimate origin? The natural follow up to that question: How then do men make a positive impact on such boys? Another thorny issue is how to address the brother who has grown up in a toxic environment where his single mother has ‘come out’ or ‘has been on the down low’ (a la Sheryl Swoopes) or worse?

Simple. These young men MUST be BUILT into upright men.

As I mentioned in my last column, there are four principles that are recommended in the building process. FIRST, the mother MUST be honest enough to have told their child how they got to where they are. IF the mother does not want to be honest with her own child about her life, leave her and her family alone--as you are heading into a no-win situation. SECOND, mother and child must be ushered back to the Bible, the church, and Jesus Christ--as He alone is the one who can break all of the curses associated with illegitimate children. Again, if mother nixes this, move on to a family who will accept your help on these terms--not on the terms of the present world system.

These first two points are non-negotiable!

Here are the other two principles: THIRD, WE need to BUILD the young men up in the skills of manhood, work, and becoming providers. Not through marches and rallies, but day-to-day contact.

Brother, YOU must be AVAILABLE. A few young men around you will be making their way to your office, your beat, or your home to talk with you. They know who you are; you don’t need an award for doing something God has created you to do--being an encourager!

Don’t push them away!

YOU have the power to do more to encourage these young men to stay drug free, crime free, and IN school. The common, upright, Christian man is the most effective tool in this fight, provided he come out of the tool box and hit’s the road of life running.

LASTLY: WE need to BUILD young men in terms of modeling UPRIGHT behavior. WE need to put away the tobacco, profanity, drugs, liquor, and back door relationships. WE need to grow up, straighten up, and operate on the up-and-up in all of our dealings. If our OWN house is not in order, we are in the wrong. WE cannot teach what we are not willing to do in disciplining ourselves.

As I bring this commentary to a close, let me address the brothers who were OOWs, and are now men in many of our communities. Brothers, YOU need to deal with some hurts that were done to you in the past, as you are hurting others in the present. Otherwise, you will continue to be uncomfortable around the genuine, upright men in your community. Upright men who have been trying work with you…but have been pushed away, year after year. My advice for you is simple as well: Stop counting yourself as a ‘single mother’s child’. Get the woman out of you and recognize yourself as a M-A-N. It will make a big difference in dealing with the rest of the brotherhood and other young men who may be in your current shoes.

Warning: The Following Column May Contain Language Unsuitable For Some Readers of “The Manhood Line”

WHAT THEN--DO WE SAY? - PART ONE

As this column closes in on its ten-year anniversary mark, there is still much ground to cover, and issues to be brought before the brotherhood. You see, no matter how saved, sanctified, and full of the Holy Ghost one may profess being; no matter how many ‘Million’ marches one has attended; no matter how many protests one has initiated; no matter where one stands on the abortion issue, one does not have to go too far down the street to ‘bump’ into a child born outside of wedlock.

The biblical term for such a child is ‘bastard’--but I digress.

According to a report issued by the National Center for Health Statistics in October 2005, a record number out-of-wedlock births--nearly 1.5 million--were born to unmarried women in the United States in 2004. Once more, those births make up more than 35 percent of ALL domestic births. The increases in these births--according to published reports--are taking place among women in their 20s, the age range in which fertility in women is at its highest. Teen mothers made up slightly less than 25 percent of those births, meaning that the births--for the most part--happened to WOMEN who KNEW what they were DOING and did not want to marry.

Now, let us be clear here. ANY child BORN OUTSIDE of the bonds of marriage--no matter the technology used or the rationalization put forth--is still an out of wedlock child. Such children used to be tagged as ‘illegitimate’. However, because more and more women of money and influence have been birthing them, they have lost that social stigma by being ‘renamed’.

THE RENAME GAME:

Years ago, there was a song that made a huge impact on the R & B charts called: “The Name Game”. These days, we are surrounded by people, pressure groups, and a gullible mainstream press anxiously specializing in the ‘Rename Game’; whereby words that have a certain truth attached to them, like ‘Adultery’, are repackaged and renamed in order to remove some of their sting, like the ‘Affair’ instead of the ‘Adulterous Relationship’.

Of course, you may change the word, but you can’t hide the guilt, nor the final result of the sin. In terms of an illegitimate child, the child may be ‘called’ an out-of-wedlock child, but it will still be regarded as a ‘bastard’ by society.

Even if that child is carrying the mother’s name.

Another victim of the ‘rename’ game has been the truth. There have been MANY instances where a man has learned that he is the father of a child--and wants to MARRY the mother. Unfortunately, she would rather have her ‘independence’ (and a healthy dose of child support) to ‘battle on’ in a cruel world, rather than give in to tradition and take the man’s name--ring and all--and give her child what he/she truly needs.

A father.

May I be bold here? The hardheaded actions of some women have contributed to the fatherless dilemma as equally as the absence of some men. I know I’m going to get some Bmails on this, but hear me out. There may be some disappearing daddies on the OOW issue; but there are just as many vanishing mommies on the scales as well.

This is one truth that will not survive ‘renaming’.

BUILD THE CHILD:

There is a solution to the problem and it rests with having the wisdom to confront this issue head on, instead of continuing to sidestep it. The brotherhood has to help push child-building, instead of child-raising. We need to stop letting people ‘raise’ children, and teach them how to BUILD children into successful children…and later dynamic, functioning adults.

To be honest, child raising isn’t working among OOW kids for a variety of reasons. First, the mothers who birth these bastards have no firm foundation themselves. IF they did--they would have WAITED until they got MARRIED to have children. Second, the child(ren) do not have a firm foundation, because the mother spends most of her time putting the child(ren) into ‘programs’ rather than getting her home in order to build her OWN children. Lastly, the community doesn’t have a firm foundation of relationship with the OOW child, because the mother is spending too much time ‘justifying’ or ‘covering’ her having the child in the first place. If the community does see them, it is either a quick ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ or appeals for help in the form of money, clothes, child care, or college scholarships.

You can only ‘raise’ something once it is assumed, and declared DEAD.

However, one can BUILD something up, layer upon layer; precept upon precept.

Since I’m heading for a close, here are two of the four keys to get the building process started--or, I should say re-started--in many of our communities.

NEVER are members of the brotherhood to hate on these children, or their mother. WE need to be the first on the scene to help them out when we can.

However, let me put forth what Mama needs to do, too:

FIRST: A respect for TRUTH in the CHILD must be BUILT by getting the ‘Where’s Daddy’ issue confessed and dealt with PERIOD. Mama MUST get this matter settled within the child as early as they can made to understand. This ALSO means that a caravan of men CAN NOT be in and out of the home while children are in it, and UPRIGHT sisters need to ‘school’ a woman in getting back on the right route.

SECOND: Mama needs to be ENCOURAGED by the BROTHERHOOD to re-introduce herself to the Bible and the Church and STICK WITH IT through thick and thin. As she grows in this area, her child(ren) will grow in grace as well. THIS is going to take some true time for healing, as more than a few sisters have been ‘wronged’ by DOGS posing as MEN in the Church house! True Christian men are protectors of women and children, not predators on them!

In reality, there are already grown men who are the products of single parent homes, who have never had a brother in their lives to steer them the right way. They have become stunted in their relations with other men because they have not gotten over the hurt from their pasts. Some of them are behind our pulpits.

GET ‘EM--WHILE THEY’RE YOUNG?

The article read like a bad dream.

Earlier in October, according to published reports, a survey found that young women in the USA and Canada are more sexually active--and in some cases sexually aggressive--than young women in previous generations.

The study, released by San Diego State University, hit with the force of a well-placed missile with a nuclear payload. Researchers found that ‘…sexual guilt plummeted, especially among young women…’ They analyzed some 530 studies on sex spanning five decades and more than a quarter million young people.

The full report appears in the “Review of General Psychology.”

Now, a few columns back, I reflected upon a conversation I had with a very wise brother who serves as a school administrator in my neck of the woods. The topic centered on the "used to be taboo" subject of sexual relations between adult female teachers and teenaged male students. He had heard through the proverbial “grapevine,” that not only were these relationships flourishing; some older females were holding them up as an attractive alternative to the current dating scene.

“Easier to lead a boy, than to follow a man”, was his take on the issue.

Unfortunately, this past summer of 2005 would bear his words out as prophetic.

By my count there were at least five such incidents of adult female/student male involvement that made headlines--and I might have missed a few. In one case the male ‘participant’ was eight, and his ‘lover’ was above 30. Her excuse was ‘she just couldn’t help’ herself, engaging in a ‘fantasy relationship’ with the boy. She sent this boy love letters, and--in view of her daughter--was caught in bed at least once with the eight year old boy.

The subject of this month’s column is a different angle on this older woman/younger boy taboo, or even the study I mentioned at the head of this column. You see, what began as barely a whisper some five years ago will soon be shouted from newspaper headlines and Internet web pages. The matter I’m talking about is already on the streets, and taking place in society. In another five years, we may see only the tip of the iceberg of the damage and destruction. The true tragedy of the issue is that few--if any--want to consider the risks.

It goes back to the earlier statement you read above: “Easier to lead a boy, than to follow a man.” We’re going to talk about sexually aggressive older women--and our young men.

FIRST--THE REALITY OF THE LAW:

In all jurisdictions, law FORBIDS sex between adults and minors. A minor is a male or female who is UNDER the age of consent in a particular state. This simply means that a minor can not enter into contracts, get a driver‘s license, drop out of school, or handle financial matters unless a parent/guardian gives their OK.

Let me also hasten to add this. IF there is a two year age difference between the participant and the victim, this will also be brought into legal play when charges are filed, whether there was ‘consent’ or not.

Thus, no matter how a minor may ‘look’ physically, if their age is NOT the age of majority, or the age of consent, sexual relations between a minor and an adult will lead to charges being filed--and those charges will be FELONIES. Plus, the ‘adult’ will be required--if found guilty of breaking the law--to register as a sex offender AND oftentimes will have to pay the therapy costs of their victim.

It boggles the mind how an adult female in a position of authority and trust, can seduce or ‘get busy’ with someone whom they KNOW is off limits to their sexual passions. Many of the women brought to justice and formally charged in these ‘relationships’ appear to be normal, healthy, and (in too many cases) married--with kids of their own.

I wonder what they would say and do IF one of their teenaged children would come home and say that their ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ is 25 or older? You KNOW that they would be on the phone to the cops, the media, and their lawyers demanding ‘justice’ for their ‘baby’ who should have never gotten ‘mixed up’ in an illicit relationship that was beyond their years.

“Easier to lead a boy, than to follow a man.”

IF WE KNOW THIS GOING IN:

We have already demonstrated--on paper--the general legalities of adults and children engaging in sexual activity: One, because it is a criminal offense; two, because it causes psychological damage over the long term; three, it is selfishness and laziness on the part of the adult. That’s right, I said ‘selfishness’ and ‘laziness’. Think about it. By ‘bowing’ to the myths surrounding one’s own sexual urges, the adult woman snatching a boy off of the tree of his youth is an extension of ‘doing one’s own thing’.

Now those doing the ‘snatching’ are getting younger…and more determined.

Having said all that, the issue that is starting to surface in some urban areas is ‘young’ baby daddies, and ‘old’ baby mammas. Or, in other words, another version of the adult female/minor male drama.

Let’s say that Rhonda is 18 to 21 years old. Rhonda either discovers that she is pregnant, or she WANTS to be pregnant. Not wanting to enter the ‘risk’ of marriage or a ‘long term’ relationship, she spies under-16 year old Johnny around the hood. Johnny ‘hangs out’ because he doesn’t go to school, is two steps away from being expelled, has all of his (parts), looks like a man--from a distance--and has ‘seen’ Rhonda around.

One thing leads to another, and Johnny is led to believe that he is a ‘baby daddy’ at his young age--and he crows like a love-struck rooster. Rhonda goes to Johnny’s mom, and breaks the news to her about her pregnancy. However, she ‘hints’ that she won’t have Johnny charged with rape as the two are “in love.” Johnny, being without much in the way of common sense, thinks he has “accomplished” something and “admits” that he is the baby daddy. Baby arrives. Rhonda has not only a built in baby sitter--but can legally tap Johnny’s mother’s purse via Child Support--IF she wanted to make things ugly. She’ll settle for “diaper money” and babysitting of ‘their child’ while she goes out once or twice a week to “get her roll on.”

The “Statutory Rape” of Johnny by Rhonda is seldom addressed in the conversation. Johnny’s mother doesn’t think that he was a victim in this scenario because--for the first time in Johnny’s life--he has “taken responsibility.” A DNA test of the child does not surface in the conversation either, as--again--Johnny has “fessed up.”

Of course, if Johnny’s mother decides to go to the cops, SHE risks having Johnny--and “his child”--taken away by the authorities. Rhonda ‘could’ risk being named as a ‘child molester’ for seducing Johnny (because he was under-sixteen) AND lose the baby to the Child Protective System--not to mention the jail time she could face.

You may be asking yourself how Johnny got himself into this mess. I’d like to say that he was properly schooled on sexual responsibility…but that begins at home. Home is also the place where true education and bible basics must be taught--and modeled.

In reality, there are a lot more “Rhondas” on the prowl than “Johnnys” able to block their advances. They are on a serious quest to get YOURS--while they are young. If they succeed, Johnny’s parents are going to watch him lose his youth--and financial health--rather quickly. They may be taken along for a ride to a place they don’t want to go.

Early Grandparent City.

LEARN, UNDERSTAND--AND MAKE HISTORY!

Would you like to know one of the things I did when gas prices started heading upward? Made sure that the cars in the Ramey household had locking gas tank caps. Was I being cruel? Did I not trust my ‘fellow man or woman’? On the contrary--I was exercising wisdom I had obtained in the seventies. You see back then the gas prices started heading slowly--then quickly--out of sight, then became hard to buy because of tight supplies.

The ‘old school’ saying still rings true: If one remembers their history, makes an effort to study it--and learn from it--one can face any storm with confidence.

It’s a true shame that more of us like to pretend that we don’t have pasts. Each one of us lives in a part of the country where things may ‘crash’ in upon us. In the south, one must deal with hurricanes. In the west, one must wrestle with water shortages and brush fires. In the east, one must deal with extreme cold and heat during certain times of the year. And, here in the mighty Midwest, one must be familiar with snow, ice, freezing rain, and the normal byproducts of having four seasons.

When I reflect upon the tragedy in New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina--strictly as an outsider--the one central thing that amazes me is the lack of understanding on so many levels. Public officials failed to fully plan, and were amazed that the plans they DID have--FAILED. Folk were given the option of leaving or staying--and the ones who DID stay were amazed that they went from residents--to refugees. Entertainers went into their ‘agenda’ mode, instead of parting with some of their OWN riches to help out their customers. Even the NFL made sure that the New Orleans Saints managed to get ‘out of Dodge’; silent as to how their fan base was going to survive safe, and unharmed.

I will deal with the race issue later in my column.

MARK IT! HISTORY DOES REPEAT ITSELF:

Many of us are familiar with the saying: “What goes around comes around”. This may be seen as man’s attempt in sounding ‘spiritual’. However, Solomon said it much better in the Book of Ecclesiastes: “There IS nothing new under the sun.”

History has a way of repeating itself for each new generation.

We are in a new century. Thus, those things that happened in the weather realm at least 100 years ago are right on track to happen again. In layman’s terms, get out your history books brothers; we may be getting ready to take a wild ride of historical proportions. In spite of our growth in the areas of technology, finance, and knowledge, we still manage to come up short in the area of understanding.

Put it this way. A young man decides to ‘start ditching’ school at the age of 13 or 14. By the time he reaches 16 or 17, he realizes that he has ‘missed’ about one to two years of his academic growth. Looking back at his family tree, we find that mother, father, or a grandparent had the same path of destructive antics. The end results are still going to be the same for this young man. Unless he wises up he will become a historical statistic. His foundation is about ready to cave in, and it will take years to repair the damage he has done to himself--regardless of the ‘warnings’ he has received from friends, teachers, and the community.

USE OF COMMON SENSE--MANDATORY:

On of the other things I remember from history--especially in times of local law enforcement breakdown: Shoot to kill orders are a necessity. No matter the excuse, the lawless cannot be allowed to rule the streets, regardless of color. To paraphrase Dick Gregory: “Y’all know that property has always been held to a higher value than lives.”

I recall the urban riots of the sixties--especially after the murder of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. We were far enough away from the main patrol routes of the Ohio National Guard, but could still hear those jeeps making the rounds. The word went around the hood that those brothers in uniform meant business. There was a curfew, and leave your ‘strap’ at home; there WERE folk who were not afraid to use deadly force to keep things in line.

This modern mentality of ‘it’s OK to talk any way you want to those in authority’ got a real ‘upside the head slap of reality’ when folks with badges and shotguns arrived on the scene. Was it pretty? No. Was it needed? Y-E-S! The law abiding needed to know that the local cops--and later the military--were on the job.

We all know what happens when they are NOT on the job.

How can I speak on these things?

I am wise enough to remember history.

To my young brothers: get wisdom, learn her lessons and apply them.

This nation is nowhere NEAR finished being taken to school. Suffice it to say that in a day and age when racism should be on the decrease, the cameras were still trained on my people, while the ‘other looters’ away from the public eye (and of a different hue) were allowed to continue their efforts unchecked by law enforcement.

OH YES, THE RACE CARD:

On that note, before we wrap it up for this month, I did want to bring up the race issue. Just from the historical standpoint, mind you.

Please keep in mind that I’m stating--not hating.

While watching the network coverage, one could say that racism may be alive and well in America through the eye of the camera, but not through the doorway of the heart.

Cameras don’t blink. It was easy to tell who was ‘walking it’ and who was ‘talking it’. Many of us who are ‘over 40’ and have come through the ‘summer of love’ generation, the marches, pickets and protests know one fact of history: In times of stress, turmoil, and chaos, folk are going to revert back who they are! The ‘closet redneck’ will surface, whether they are wearing TV makeup and ‘come out’ on camera; or are shielded by a government position. That’s the color card, right on the table, baby!

Mark this fact also--the ‘true vines’ always surface. The folks who have had a real meeting with Jesus Christ, and can walk the talk and live the life. They will also take their place before the camera. I witnessed BLACK brothers on the same TV screen who were cops, doctors, and military men doing the job that some folk say we are incapable of doing. These brothers were not in it for the money, face time, getting their name in the paper or promise of promotion. They have learned and understand history and were all about writing their own chapter.

Sure, such labors and appearances by the brotherhood may not seem like much now. However, I do recall that one brother was in the right place, in the right time, for what was a disaster more than 200 years ago and we still speak his name with great reverence.

The disaster: the early months before the start of the Revolutionary War.

The man: Crispus Attucks.

THREE ARROWS--FOR OUR YOUNG ARCHERS

While many young men have been enjoying their summers, some interesting items snaked their way across my desk from many an MSM Website involving female teachers and male students. Now, for those who may have tuned in late and assumed that its not ‘that big a deal’ to hear about older women/younger men, I’d just like to point out that it USED to not be that big a deal…until the older women turned out to be the teachers of the younger men and the dating arena turned out to be your son’s classroom or high school cafeteria.

With the nation’s retailers heavily involved in selling the back-to-school set everything from notebook paper to backpacks, one could say that this issue is being overlooked. This school year, I would heartily advise many among the brotherhood to teach their sons, and ANY young male whom they may know about the dangers of this issue BEFORE it explodes into a scandalous explosion of guilt, shame, and a very adult courtroom setting.

BLAMING THE VICTIM:

I find it interesting that the defense being raised by some smart lawyers in some of the latest school scandals is the following: the ‘adult’ female teacher was somehow ‘seduced’ by the minor male student. In other words, the victim--the under aged minor male student--somehow managed to ‘seduce’ his older, female, adult, certified, veteran teacher.

An adult is SUPPOSED to know better, right?

Not so! To hear some of these oversexed authority figures talking through their lawyers in the press, these female stalkers are stating in public that it’s their student’s fault for the illicit relationship.

Check this potential scenario out involving YOUR son: “Furthermore, your honor, with his ‘bedroom’ eyes, and his ‘urban’ cool, 15 year old Johnny manage to ‘talk’ his adult, female teacher…into various and sundry steamy after class rendezvous. Oh yes, judge; Johnny forced me to use my credit card to buy him a new car, and forced me to give him the key to my house for our afternoon teaching ‘sessions’.”

NOT A FANTASY--BUT A NIGHTMARE!

You can hear my answer coming on this: BALDERDASH!

Stay with me on this, brothers. YOUR SON may be the one on the receiving end of such a statement, regardless of how far under ‘the age of consent’ he may be.

Many of us have seen in the MSM how ‘independent’ modern women are supposed to be. After all, many a brother has been told, either in song or in person, that ‘sisters are doing it for themselves’, right? It is indeed a curious sign of the times when women who have allegedly been ‘liberated’ are getting caught with their fingers (and other assorted body parts) with and by some of their under aged male students are trying such SAD excuses. These same adult sisters--black and white--are also getting caught with motel receipts, on store and mall video security cameras and--in one particular case--in police wiretaps fawning over their teen male ‘lovers’ to the willing exclusion of their OWN husbands and children.

I find it more curious that the MSM admits that female teachers who seduce male students are treated differently than male teachers who seduce female students. To hear the media state it, Male teachers are treated as ‘brutes and animals’ while the female teachers are treated as having ‘issues’ or ‘problems’.

It truly boggles the mind.

TALE OF THE THREE ARROWS:

In order to keep your sons, nephews--or their friends--from being in a police line up on this matter, as a public service for the protection of our boys, I’d like to present three items of teaching that older brothers need to bring to our young men. They come from the Book of Proverbs and they are three arrows that ALL young men need for the road of life. They MUST be applied right at the heart of evil.

The FIRST arrow, let the younger brothers know that there ARE some females they need to stay AWAY from, regardless of their age. The very real dangers of boys being stalked by older women in positions of authority; be they administrators, classroom assistants, or schoolteachers is no longer a joke. Anytime a girl--or a woman--tries to ‘smooth’ their way into a young man’s life through expensive presents, inordinate amounts of attention, threats--or even bullying--young brothers NEED to make tracks to the highest ranking MALE authority figure whom they trust in the school setting.

Solomon made this point very clear to his son…and FUTURE brothers coming along. The Book of Proverbs urges young men to not only be wise, but also to pursue wisdom and understanding at ALL costs, and STAY AWAY from dangerous situations.

STILL MORE WISDOM AHEAD:

The SECOND arrow, WATCH what they say--especially about sexual matters. Too many young brothers underestimate the power of the opposite sex, and base their ability to ‘cope’ with girls and women based upon what they have seen in some of the Hip Hop and Rap videos that criss-cross our airwaves. We older brothers have to let our younger men KNOW that talk about sexual matters with members of the opposite sex, no matter how innocent, can ‘fan the flames’ of passion, and give the wrong impression to individuals, especially women who may be out for more than casual conversation.

DO NOT let an adult female, especially a married adult female--regardless of how ‘cute’ it may sound--get you talking about sexual matters and your sexual experience, my young brother. That’s personal and restricted information…period.

Ready for the last arrow?

The THIRD arrow is clearly marked ABSTINENCE! Simply put, Solomon and a lot of other brothers in the Bible made it plain about waiting to get married BEFORE getting involved in long-term sexual relations with a woman.

I realize that this is not a popular arrow, but it is a NEEDED arrow. And, if MORE of the brotherhood were honest with our younger men, WE would stave off some future heartache.

For an older woman to ‘bed’ a teenage boy is setting him up for some adult problems, ranging from Statutory Rape, to adultery, to sexually transmitted diseases. NOT to mention long lasting damage to his reputation.

Why this type of column, and why now? Let’s just say that its time that more of the brotherhood get back into the wising up of some of our young brothers for yet another school year. Not all of life’s lessons can be learned out of a schoolbook or in a classroom. It takes the ‘pulling aside’ of younger men by older men and the exchange of wisdom for true survival.

Hell hath no greater statistics than uninformed young men.

BLAST YOUR FEARS!

I happened across a USA Today ‘Top 50’ Best Seller Books list a few months back. After scanning some of the current favorites, it was the cache of books that were ‘below ‘ the Top 50 radar that caught my attention…some of them were ‘old friends’ from my junior high and high school days.

In pausing to reflect upon these past favorites, I made a few realizations.

We have popular books, music and culture that insults and enslaves, and:

We have a society anxiously pushing the church and the Bible into silence.

In further checking this list, I noted that there were more than a few ‘snack food’ books. There were woeful few books to challenge, uplift, or encourage men.

In short, many of the books I saw majored in fearfulness over courage.

I have been becoming more aware of the lack of fewer and fewer people coming along who are not featured in the mainstream press (MSM) speaking out against the ills of our modern day. As a matter of fact, there are fewer and fewer men being raised up to do battle with the intellectual and spiritual forces of evil. We have folk who are more interested in taking less responsibility, and pushing the boundaries of victim hood as far as they can.

Then, in a local bookstore, I happened across a book entitled “Talks My Father Never Had With Me: Helping the Young Black Male make it to Adulthood.” by Rev. Harold Davis. The format of the book was simple, the message powerful, and the delivery encouraging and FEARLESS. The book had originally published in 1995.

You know I had to track down Dr. Davis and find out how men can get their voices back in a society not only hooked upon fear, but intent to create a new generation of ‘fear junkies’ out of young men, thanks to the ‘smoke and mirrors’ philosophy of modern feminism.

Buckle up brothers. If you have ever had dream that you have wanted to ‘go for’, Dr. Davis provides hope and help for you to blast your fears into rubble, and do what you have been created to do: Being fear-less, instead of fear-addicted!

RISE OF KJAC PUBLISHING--ONE MAN AND ONE BOOK:

In our day of program after program, and book after book for this affliction and that problem, Davis’ writings are a refreshing standout. While many authors seek to write books for thousands, (and even Christian authors have shunned KJV scripture for one of the PC modern versions), Davis sought to write a book for a man in need of biblical teaching. “IF I can get my book to help ONE man,” said Davis in our telephone interview, “then I have done what the Lord has blessed me to do.”

David knew that he faced an uphill struggle to getting his books in print. Thus, he founded the Illinois-based KJAC Publishing, formed out of the first letters of the first names of his four children. He and his wife have been having a good laugh on other publishing houses ever since. “The church needs to rise up like never before,” said Davis, “and it is because it (the church) has become (so) female dominated that Black men have not been interested, nor attending church.”

“Talks My Father Never Had With Me” , is divided into seven sections with a total of 28 chapters. Each chapter has plenty of opportunity to highlight important points with a self-assessment test or quiz at the end, plus the book has a section at the end of its 236 pages for notes and observations.

“There is a lot of confusion among some young men today because of their being raised in a single parent (environment),” said Davis. “In order to get the attention of these young men, older brothers will have to (lovingly) challenge them and be wise in talking with them about the issues of manhood.”

While this is not his first book, it has become a sought-after classic. It has spawned some sequels, one of them written by his wife, aimed at the need for women to address the issue of womanhood with their daughters and young women in their neighborhoods.

MEANWHILE, IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS:

Davis has expanded his teaching reach into his local community. He has written and coordinated a mentoring curriculum that has been used in the Champaign County, Illinois school system. He has coordinated and helped to inspire, fire, and train more than 100 mentors in 21 different schools. “Everybody want ‘in’ to the public schools, but church men are not (really) involved in the public schools in numbers they should be.” Davis noted. “While I had to re-write and expand the ‘Talks’ book to include all young men, and put the principles of scripture into a more visible manner, it is still the same timeless work attempting to address the issues of young men and the need for true manhood.”

Some of the highlights from the ‘Talks’ book center upon race relations, the twin terrors of gangs and drugs, the need for sexual responsibility by young men, the dangers of homosexuality, and one entire chapter dedicated to the issue of fear and how--if not acted upon--will cripple or kill the dreams of many a young man.

“I tend to write in a timeless manner,” Davis noted, while attempting to encourage future writers and publishers. “When I write a book, I put my heart into it and ask the Lord to have it reach those to whom is it needed. He’s never failed to amaze me with the number of readers who have been blessed by what I’ve had to say.” By the way KJAC Publishing has its own website (www.kjac-publishing.com), and can be reached at P. O. Box 111, Champaign, Illinois, 61824. The website has six books pictured on the site.

What’s next for Davis? To encourage the older members of the brotherhood, in June 2005 his latest work hit the streets, entitled “Can I Call You Solider?” This book is a 96 page shot in the arm, aimed at helping to build stronger, older men to help mentor those me in the church and society who may be drifting away from strong, traditional roots. It is intended to be a primer to get discussions started.

What are YOUR dream brothers? It may be time to blast the fear in your OWN life to make it happen. Why be fear-addicted when you can be blast the obstacles out of the way and put some traction on your actions and bring them to those who may be in need? Davis, among others, will be cheering you up the road of your success!

I would encourage any community-based program that helps Black people to re-enter the workforce to take this column, have their leadership put on their ‘Sunday Best’, take their annual reports and success stories and start ‘making contacts’ with Black companies--in their own home cities.

A few years back, I happened across an excellent piece of writing on the realities of Black business and the Black community. The column, written by Hilliard Lackey of the Tennessee Tribune was entitled: “The Naked Truth: Blacks Antagonize Black Businesses”. Mr. Lackey put up some very real dilemmas faced by Black companies. To quote him, many Black companies face the “Give Me/Let Me Have/Hook A Brother or Sister Up” machine, where a few try to ‘get’ all they can from a Black company. Of course, the message conveyed in the column was the following: No matter what some manage to obtain from a Black-owned company, it is never seen as enough.

I enjoyed that work, and could see Mr. Lackey’s point. After all, I have worked for a few Black owned companies over the years. I’ve seen more than a few of us from the ‘streets to the suites’ try to ‘get what we can’.

Make no mistake about it. Playing angles and using street smarts as a means of gaining an advantage does not end on the playground. In reality, it can also extend into adulthood--and beyond. I have found that truly successful businessmen and women often have a bit of that ‘hustling’ instinct--IF they want to keep their doors open. Donald Trump has been broke a few times, but always manages to rely on his ‘hustle’ to re-invent himself, re-open his doors, and re-invite bankers to invest in his latest business venture. But, I digress.

In the normal course of business, the ‘art of the deal’ is paramount. Companies buy, sell, and show with those agencies, organizations, and institutions that can offer the best deal. One of the earliest lessons I learned in the business arena while a student in high school and college is pay your accounts off early, and you will SAVE money. The textbook example was: 2/10, Net 30. Meaning, one could get a two percent discount on their bill if it was paid within ten days. The business owner who decided to wait to pay the full bill in thirty days would not get a discount from that service provider.

There are truly different ways to hustle. White owned companies may call it something different in a textbook, but Black owned companies know ‘the hustle’. A green dollar is still just as green in a Black-owned company, or a company owned by Hispanics. Money is still money. A good employee, though, is an asset!

We need our Black businesses, companies, and publications to come together with their purses and wallet and invest in US! In my view, because of the challenges we face as African Americans, it is time that Black-owned companies set up their own community-based foundations to help those ventures with a successful track record to train (and in some cases resurrect) the education, skills, and work aptitudes of our people.

It is NOT the church’s job to create new business and job opportunities, but to point people to Jesus Christ, then turn them loose to succeed. It is NOT the government’s job to create new business and job opportunities, but to provide the least amount of government red tape to unleash the economy. It IS the responsibility of Black business to help fund those activities to help those of us in need to be successful in the workplace, and in general society.

If Bill Gates can put up $50 million in grants to help public schools in urban areas to re-design themselves to turn out potential employees for HIS company in the future; FIFTY Black owned companies can come up with a million EACH to help re-train, re-tool, and re-enter those among us who may have dropped out of school, been locked up, or otherwise left behind by the system.

I have nothing against Black celebrities giving money to HBCUs. However, HBCUs are only a part of the picture. There is a workforce of Black folk that has been left behind by Black celebrities and Black business.

In my travels I have happened across some very good to excellent local programs, run for and staffed by us, to help put young men and women back on the right track towards success. Whether it is with helping someone get their GED, or learning how to write a resume, many of these programs accomplish nothing short of the miraculous--on limited budgets. There are B-L-A-C-K professionals whom I know who work a full time job AND spend their OWN time helping troubled youth, or wayward teen mothers, or recovering drug addicts, or those who have been released from prison. Whatever stipends these professionals make in running and administering these programs are microscopic in terms of the out-of-pocket expenses they pay.

One by one, these community-based programs have been drying up, downsizing, or discontinued because of the loss of grant/foundation dollars--oftentimes supplied by the mainstream community. Other groups are helping their own ‘left behinds’ achieve. When will MORE Black companies ‘step up’ and help our OWN?

What truly irritates me is that I have heard Black owned companies mouthing the same lines as White owned companies: “We can’t find qualified workers!”

As a people, we are worth $700 Billion dollars in earned income EACH year, based upon the Internet sources I check for Black financial data. We also have some solid, well-financed Black-owned companies who could write a few checks, and wind up putting their logo on programs that will generate MORE Black employees, not less.

Various U. S. cities are posting unemployment rates of thirty to fifty percent or more for Black men aged 21 to 30. The unemployment rate for Black teens is four to five times higher than the average for other teens. Government funding--since 9/11--has been drying up for job and education programs, which means that job and education programs attached to the justice system, the education establishment, and the states are quickly being cut.

Here’s one way to ‘find’ the money that some of our companies ‘claim’ they don’t have. In my home city of Indianapolis, Indiana, we have several major Black events that bring out a host of Black-owned companies every year. Not only do they have their wares displayed, they also contribute to some of the lesser-known items of these events--from hospitality rooms to lavish pre and post event parties. Here’s a suggestion, Black entrepreneur: Spend less for the parties and invest in community-based programs to help our young people--especially our young Black men.

A Black man with a job and a future will build a family. A Black man without a job and a bleak future will help destroy a community. What are we seeing on our streets?

Black businessman; put your corporate logo and ‘party money’ into your brothers and sisters. A party lasts but a weekend. A young brother with an education and some job training will be able to start his employment career with Y-O-U!

This IS a formal Declaration of War against EVERY Rapper, Hip-Hopper, and ‘No Schooler’ who has--either in thought, action, or deed--attempted to bypass, tear down, or destroy traditional marriage and stable homes.

Mark it down, brothers: THIS Father’s Day we ARE going to clean house. We are going to end the silence of political correctness and attempt to encourage marriage BEFORE sex in looking at fatherhood from the point of view of the children BORN out of wedlock.

No, marriage is NOT for everybody--but sex outside of marriage is NOT for everybody either! Yes, marriages DO fail--but weekend relationships are shallow substitutes for the real thing. Now hear this: The solution for better marriages rests in building up the institution, rather than abandoning it on the altars of excuses and entertainment just to ‘please’ the excuse-lovers of society.

Until a few years ago, America has made an art form out of disrespecting men and fatherhood. However, the events of 9/11 and the subsequent war overseas generated a lot of positive press. Not only did it become ‘cool’ to be a man but it also became ‘hip’ to be a father. Television footage of men in uniform hugging children and kissing wives as they shipped out for parts unknown STILL puts a lump in many a throat. These images have the most died-in-the-wool feminist thanking God that THEY didn’t have to go ‘duke it out’ with our international enemies.

Of course, ‘the enlightened’ of Madison Avenue have been cashing in on the manhood and fatherhood revival. We are, albeit slowly, seeing positive commercials proving that fathers are important to the well being of their children. And, where advertising is pointing the way, movies and television shows are proving that they are just as capable in spotting the new ‘fatherhood is cool’ trend.

More must be done to restore fatherhood to its rightful celebration IN marriage.

We’ve been playing games with the ‘unwed fatherhood trap’ for far too long.

Let’s stop the excuses: REAL men MARRY before they PROCREATE and REAL women should DEMAND a wedding ring BEFORE they MATE. Marriage--between one man and one woman--has NOT been respected.

Our lawmakers have sidestepped it by not amending tax codes making marriage more desirable, various pundits in the Black community have been bypassing it to justify immorality and some of our churches have been retreating from it out of sheer cowardice. Even the few groups that DO support fatherhood have been doing more for unwed fathers than married men (which is one of the reasons why more men do not join these groups).

If I may be so bold, we’ve allowed Hip Hop/Rap entertainers of our day to ‘determine’ the placement of a ‘Baby Mama’ or a ‘Baby Daddy’ ahead of REAL fatherhood in a REAL marriage. We can talk all day about how ‘sisters made the wrong choices’ in bearing OOWs, but they DID NOT make those choices ALONE! Let me state for the record that a ‘Baby Daddy’ is a male who cannot control his zipper and is trapped in the mode of irresponsibility by deliberate selfishness.

Remember this: A ‘Baby Daddy’ IS a father, but not a HUSBAND. He IS a male, but NOT a M-A-N! Until he marries the mother of his child, he is going to have to confront not only a disrespected and angry woman; he will ALSO have to eventually confront a disrespected, angry, and bitter offspring. The crime trends, the roll call at juvenile hall, and the head count at your state prisons are composed of angry little boys who were born out of wedlock and grew up to be angry young men with a grudge against their biological fathers who ‘rolled’ for a night, and ‘rolled’ off into oblivion.

I know, I know; this USED to be covered in the church. Well, I might as well be blunt. Since many of today’s Black pastors are more interested in politics rather than biblical truth, it is any wonder that the Black church has lost its voice on real social issues?

Some pastors ACUTALLY believe that there is ‘no such thing’ as an illegitimate child…even though the BIBLE they preach from contains example after example of the OOW issue--and its consequences.

A few decades back, The Temptations came out with a successful song entitled “Papa Was A Rolling Stone”. I invite you who are single and have contributed--or are thinking about contributing--to the increasing OOW rate to do a web search and get a copy of the lyrics. As a matter of fact, as a piece of advice to single women everywhere, pick up a copy of the lyrics yourself and see IF that single man you are seeing happens to fit the profile of the brother described in the song. IF he does, DROP HIM!

Moving right along; the song will provide you with a great idea as to how your future children will feel, if you don’t settle first things first and M-A-R-R-Y that woman whom you may be interested in--before you even think about becoming a father.

Want even more tragedy? More and more schools, family courts, and social service providers are seeing young men repeating the trend of THEIR irresponsible and hard-headed fathers by birthing ‘lil Gs’ of their own.

Do you LIKE the sound of your ‘offspring’ cursing your name to a stranger? Believe it or not a cop, judge, social worker, therapist, or probation officer IS a stranger!

In the Bible, a child born out of wedlock is called a ‘bastard’. Plain and simple. Once more, there is a TEN-generation curse upon a child born out of wedlock. Do your own research and check the Bible out for yourself.

They haven’t sat in juvenile hall, listening to young males berate, curse, and cry because their father is nowhere to be found. They haven’t watched young females fall prey to every ‘smooth talking thugg’ in the neighborhood (or in church) because their father was nowhere around to school them in how to tell a godly man from a satanic counterfeit. They haven’t sat through a few ‘hot’ rap videos that boast of ‘grabbing booty’ rather than being respectful of our single sisters.

Perhaps the REAL reason for silence in the church is the fact that there are TOO many pastors, preachers, elders and deacons who have been contributing to the problem, and use the church to ‘justify’ their sin!

Are you a ‘rolling stone’ Papa or are you building a solid home? On THIS Father’s Day, best keep your ‘roll’ in your role as father at home. Keep that wedding band visible and stay loyal to your wife. IF you have children from another relationship, as E. V. Hill once put it: “Take care of BOTH sets!”

For my single brothers, if you who get the itch…don’t think about scratching unless you’ve got a marriage proposal, ring, church, and wedding date. We don’t need any more angry young men and women on our streets--or in our jails. We have far too many teens cursing the silent OOW roll call of men who traded away their future manhood for a new name. ‘Baby Daddy’ instead of husband.

If you have ‘scratched’ and the mother of your kids does not want to marry you for whatever reason, then you still must support those children financially. Do not get into who did what. Do not hand me ‘excuses’ about why you can’t come up with Child Support…but you CAN pay for new rims, fake gold teeth, and the ‘bling’.

YOU helped to birth those children brother; YOU must help to take care of them--right down to getting your own spiritual life right with Jesus Christ so you can pray--and pay--for them effectively. Above all, don’t be bitter about it. Become better through it. It’s never too late to be blessed by your children. But you have to give them someone to bless, instead of curse.

Let us begin with a brief ‘refresher’ in case you missed the first part of my two-part commentary on our ‘helpless’ young Black men. I stated for the record--like it or not--many of our young men just DO NOT want to be rescued even though the RESCUERS are plentiful. Some young brothers believe that it’s COOL to be a FOOL these days. Many are WILLING to sink below the surface of life, firmly grasping their sagging pants, $300 fake gold teeth and 24” spinning rims. I also stated that we had a warehouse system for those who want to be counted as statistics in life, called PRISONS. I even proved my ‘sensitivity’ to the issue by spelling the P word out slowly.

After putting the column out on the syndication wire, I settled back and did my usual brand of housekeeping and desk cleaning.

I received a rather interesting email concerning some comments made by Bill Gates in support of raising future Microsoft success stories in various urban and suburban school districts. In the speech, Gates utilized some items that were already in the public domain and were rooted in common sense. In fact, I’ll dare say that some of his items I had used in a column a few years back AND had obtained a few years earlier than that while in the classroom as a teacher.

Over the past few years, I have also noticed something else about Gates. His words--in some cases--sound awfully close to another Bill who recently came under fire for urging our youth to become more than vo-cons: voluntary consumers. No, I don’t hate Gates for expounding in the public arena, but--what about the ‘other Bill’?

This Bill--Bill Gates--gets awards for saying the same things about values and hard work from behind a multi-billion dollar empire.

Bill Gates wants your child to better their education--to ‘maybe’ work for him.

This is also the arena where the war over our ‘helpless’ young black men is being fought on a daily basis in the mainstream press, on talk shows, and in corporate boardrooms. The real issue becomes in whom you will believe, and to whom you will listen--the moneyman or the funny man.

Gates is a businessman. More people will give Gates the benefit of the doubt when he gives money to remake public education over into his image and tells today’s teens to stay in school and get good grades. Meanwhile, Cosby is an entertainer. He gives much of his wealth to HBCUs--but too many of the street set won’t give him his ‘props’ for doing this out of a grateful heart.

Cosby is ‘a suspect’ and an enemy to many low-aiming, bottom-feeding, lazy folk.

Some of us KNOW that Cosby hasn’t forgotten his roots, but are quicker to side with Gates because of the increased chance that our favorite ‘program’ may qualify for some of Gates’ charity because of the depth of his pockets.

Of course, when Cosby allegedly had a great fall, many--of US--were at the forefront of discounting his message. More than a few ‘in the hood’ took quite a glee in ‘bringing Cosby down a few pegs’ after allegations mysteriously surfaced about some shrouded incident in his past--that was quickly dispatched by law enforcement officials.

Gates had a great fall a few years back in the arena of antitrust and copyright infringement (as well as ruthless business practices against competitors and new business ventures). At last word in published reports that fight still continues in industrialized Europe. However, the Gates message to the education community in America has not been discounted. It still continues to be amplified and expanded, with more and more soldiers being lined up in school districts across the land.

Unfortunately, when someone speaks the truth these days, people tend to examine the character, good looks, and financial wherewithal of the messenger. If the person doesn’t have deep pockets for this program or that ‘social cause’, they may be discounted. If the person is Black, is doing well in a non-sports vocation, has good grammar, votes Republican and isn’t ‘down’ with the ‘crowd’, they are held to be an ‘Uncle Tom’ or ‘Aunt Jemima’. Add to this mix a firm belief in Jesus Christ and the Bible, and you have a person who is a ‘suspect’ to other Black folk.

However--those same folk can ‘hate Whitey’…until a job opportunity comes along. Then, all is forgiven and forgotten, as long as they can exist long enough to pick up a paycheck from their ‘enemy’ each and every week.

Victim hood does not build men. It breeds PUNKS and STATISTICS. Until we as men see this, we are going to see more problems on the streets, in the church, and in the classroom. Until young Black men get the snarl off their lips, hitch up their pants and attitudes and develop a work ethic that doesn’t start--and end--with the TV remote, we will see more statistics attempting to ‘land’ and deceive GOOD BLACK SISTERS!

Speaking of good religion, Billy Sunday, in a long forgotten sermon on the realities of manhood (entitled Show Thyself A Man), brought forth the following: “The man who is able to say ‘NO’ whenever it should be said is walking in a way that will lead straight to his own good.”

. For a young man to claim to possess the knowledge to drink, smoke, blunt, bling, and shoot dice, yet claim to be helpless when it comes to his getting to school on time, not taking back to his teachers, and get good grades means his HOME life is messed up.

That’s right--much of the problem with some of our young men rests in the home.

It PAYS to be helpless these days. Some parents get fat checks for each child that has a learning disability. School districts get fat checks for the number of ‘helpless’ students they have on the books. Community organizations get fat checks to ‘reach’ these students with education and socialization programs. Even the juvenile justice system has scores of programs made for ‘the helpless’. Of course, many of our helpless are young Black men with a host of letters after their names, in honor of their affliction (MMH, LD, ED, etc.). They may not be able to spell the name of the capital of their state, but they can tell you (quite fluidly in some cases) when they first got their ‘affliction’, what medication is needed to ‘treat it’, and the name, time, and location of their last ‘therapy’ session.

As I wrap up this second part of my commentary, I’d like to re-emphasize one point. The success of our young men is up to us IN the home. Like Cosby started--and Gates is echoing--it is time for us to stop turning our homes into insulated pleasure palaces and put them back into the learning center environment.

I--like you--have talked with young brothers on the street. They have the gold in their mouths that their parents have bought them. They have the talent to do well, and are personable. Yet, they lack the inner drive and fire to succeed ‘on the up’ with the diploma, degree, or GED.

Look at it this way. How many single, female-headed households have difficulty finding the beauty parlor, the club, or the mall every weekend? Notice that the library, or the bookstore, or an education supply house isn’t in the mix as strong?

If the parent doesn’t value an education, then the child is doomed to be a statistic.

It may be popular to be ignorant, but it is NOT ‘Black enough’ to accept it!

RISE OF THE VOLUNTEER ALIENS

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