Thank
You For Taking Me To Court by Joel Austin
On April
7, 2008, I heard the Archbishop Desmond Tutu speak
at St Joseph’s University. He quoted: "God
has always created existence out of chaos, hence my life and reason
for the appreciation of being taken to court."
I have
more than one child’s mother, both have taken me to custody and
support court. Both have called the police on me. You would think
from this simple description that I am a horrible person, not at
all. Actually it is the opposite; I experienced the most turmoil
while becoming a better father. Puzzled? Read on.
There was
a time when you were taken to court because of your refusal to care
for your children, this is not true today. Support court was
created to care for children in a day and age long ago yet the laws
have not changed. While Dr. Martin Luther King fought for equality
and the poor, family court was missed by the civil rights bills.
Women who had children out of wedlock, usually by a married man,
were cast away as trash in America. These men who had this child did
not acknowledge this child because of the culture of the society.
Women were chastised as it being their fault for opening their legs
and having a child before marriage. The burden of the child’s
welfare landed on the lap of the government. The government did not
like paying for the mistakes of its sailors, military men, and
traveling salesmen, so out of care for the children Support Court
was created.
Today it
needs to be reformed. There are more cases of dead broke dads than
there are of dead beat dads. The support for our children has never
been this difficult. Children and families are not getting rich from
support, they are merely surviving. The simple solution is for two
parents to decide what is best for their child. The solution is for
the two parents who made the child to decide the well being and
proper development for the child. What a crazy idea, but what keeps
this from happening. The fact that is that in America” It is money
we trust, not people.” So children can be worth money if you use
them correctly. Children can also cost a lot of money if you let
them.
So some
mothers take the money over the responsibility of communication,
marriage, and faith in their partner. Some fathers walk away from
the responsibility because how closely it is related to life-long
financial, social, and psychological burden.
It is the
gray that is causing harm to our children in the end. Only 15% of
all fathers that pay support are deadbeat dads. This is a man or
woman that refuses to pay support that can! Most are dead broke,
which means they have orders that say what they must pay, and have
no way of paying it or very limited funds.
What will
it take to get child support reform? When will we stop hurting
children by damaging one or more parents?
I say the solution is
